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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: qman] 1
#26653432 - 05/06/20 05:56 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
qman said:
Quote:
Shiithead said: Niffla, get away from those people...
Yeah, it's a no win situation, get out. A good friend wouldn't constantly be asking you to lie for him.
Agree 100%. But, you don't have to trash the friendship. Talking to him and stating firmly you WILL NOT cover for him anymore no matter what will ease your worried brain.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 10 days, 23 hours
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: tyrannicalrex] 1
#26653596 - 05/06/20 06:58 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Long term relationships coming to an end is hard. Sometimes people try everything, hard, for years and years. It shouldn't be so hard, and it only gets harder until they accept miserable complacency. Fight hard and love hard in a chaotic cycle... but eventually the fight drains out, and the love with it. Rarely can a spark be revived after decades of fucking the other over. That shit hurts!
But here's the thing - here is how I feel about Adults: They can claw each other to ribbons, scream and fuss, break shit, hit each other.... and I really dont care. They're adults and they can beat the hell out of each other physically, emotionally.... and I dont care.
But ! I do start to care for the kid who has to see it, hear it. At 15, she likely saw plenty, so a lot of that is ingrained. If the parents want to continue this, then they should think about their daughter, and stop feeding into whatever selfish desires/emotions/defensives that serve them, and think what she needs to see. It isnt too late. Kids are resilient and can be taught to be understanding, taught to forgive dad and moms mistakes, and taught that people make mistakes but they can always turn around if motivated. And taught not to make some of those mistakes.
Anyway I know this thread was more about your having been involved and I went off on a tangent. I think you got good advice about though, so I am just adding the thought - mom and dad need to recognize if they are fucking their daughter's psyche up and put an end to it. Sometimes people say "Let's stay together for the kids!" When sometimes it should be "Let's end this thing so we can raise our child healthy we both love happily "
Hope it works out!
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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TheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?


Registered: 10/18/17
Posts: 4,528
Loc:
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: DoneKildatReason]
#26653759 - 05/06/20 07:59 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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So you've got 2 friends (the married couple) and you're going to side with the one being a complete asshole to the other one?
Birds of a feather I guess 
You said you'll stand up to him next time he puts you on the spot but something tells me you won't
Seems to me like maybe you made the post so someone could convince you to bust his ass out
Also, if he's willing to treat her like that, he's able to treat anyone like that including you bud
It's a tough spot you're in and I don't envy you for it. I'm sure it's hard to be his friend
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: TheStallionMang]
#26653776 - 05/06/20 08:07 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheStallionMang said:
So you've got 2 friends (the married couple) and you're going to side with the one being a complete asshole to the other one?
Birds of a feather I guess 
Look I feel awful about it and already admitted that I'm a pretty shitty person for it. I'm not denying that. I do feel terrible for it. It's not an excuse but I was friends with him first for years before I become legitimate friends with her, so I guess I felt a weird obligation to cover for him. I know that's wrong but I'm just being as honest as I can.
Quote:
TheStallionMang said:
You said you'll stand up to him next time he puts you on the spot but something tells me you won't
Seems to me like maybe you made the post so someone could convince you to bust his ass out
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "busting his ass out".
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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TheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?


Registered: 10/18/17
Posts: 4,528
Loc:
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla] 1
#26653983 - 05/06/20 10:13 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I totally understand where you're coming from. It's a hard place to be put in. You seem to be feeling the moral dilemma and that sucks. I wasn't trying to sound harsh, I'm just pissy and lately feel like people doing shitty shit should get called out for it.
Peace bro, I'm taking a beer break
BTW, I dig the new sig. Adrenochrome, right?
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budmanman
OTD Masterbater



Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,974
Loc: PNW
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: TheStallionMang] 5
#26654219 - 05/07/20 01:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Just bang his girl. He's a cheater he will understand and she's your friend and probably wants to bang anyway.
It will even things out and everyone wins.
-------------------- Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal. And I am mentally unstable.
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TheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?


Registered: 10/18/17
Posts: 4,528
Loc:
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: budmanman] 1
#26654242 - 05/07/20 01:46 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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In all seriousness though, budmanman has a point...
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,328
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 18 minutes, 56 seconds
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: TheStallionMang] 4
#26654533 - 05/07/20 07:12 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah, that will solve the problem 
I think this situation ironic because about less than a year ago, Niffla made a thread about being sexually-involved with a married woman from his workplace. Is Karma coming back for Niffla?
It would appear so
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#26654554 - 05/07/20 07:30 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah you're right, I did, and maybe I do deserve this then. In fact I probably deserve way worse than this to be honest.
I was wrong for that, very wrong for that, and for what it's worth I ended up transferring from that job (she was a coworker) to an opening 40 miles away just to separate myself from that situation. But the damage was done. Wow when you put it to me like that, and stallion's "birds of a feather" comment...I guess it's pretty obvious I got a lot of soul searching to do.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,835
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla] 2
#26654558 - 05/07/20 07:36 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,328
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 18 minutes, 56 seconds
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla] 3
#26654560 - 05/07/20 07:37 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I cant help but connect those dots. Those Karmic ties, they're real. Sometimes too real 
I seem to have a Karmic tie with being let down by women who I attract and trust. Its happened to me over and over in my life. Its good to be single right now. Trying to untie those Karmic bonds I seem to have. I wish the same for you my friend.
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: budmanman]
#26654582 - 05/07/20 07:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
budmanman said: Just bang his girl. He's a cheater he will understand and she's your friend and probably wants to bang anyway.
It will even things out and everyone wins.
That’s what I’d do.
I wouldn’t tell him though.
Tbh I’d fuck his wife no matter what the situation. It’s always good to get some new pussy.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla] 6
#26654592 - 05/07/20 07:55 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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We are the company we keep dude. Even if it doesn't change us completely it becomes a sense of normalcy in our lives. Being non-judgemental and having friends is great, it's liberating. But if this were a legal proceeding you'd be an accomplice. And that's why we are the company we keep, because even if it doesn't change us it makes us the person who stands aside as someone does something stupid. The second you start feeling guilty or regretful for being someone's friend is the moment we realize they might not be worth being a friend of. Principles are worth more than that imo, it's who we are and living with yourself is the one thing we have to do our whole lives. I'd rather be alone than be a friend to a bunch of thieves and assholes but maybe that's just me. Feeling remorseful for decisions someone else made feels awful. Do you think you would have slept with the married lady so readily if he wasn't your friend and making you feel like it's more normal than you obviously feel like it shouldnt be? That's probably a hard question to answer but it's an important one.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: TheFakeSunRa] 2
#26654630 - 05/07/20 08:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheFakeSunRa said:
Quote:
budmanman said: Just bang his girl. He's a cheater he will understand and she's your friend and probably wants to bang anyway.
It will even things out and everyone wins.
That’s what I’d do.
I wouldn’t tell him though.
Tbh I’d fuck his wife no matter what the situation. It’s always good to get some new pussy.
Niffla ends up with a wife and kid? That might be a nice alternative ending.
Yea, think most the options have been said in this thread already.
Now Niffla must find safe passage through the mines of a tumultuous friendship - one path leads to ruin, another to redemption, and the third leads to a strange love triangle.
What will he do? Godspeed Niffla, Godspeed.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: larry.fisherman] 3
#26654637 - 05/07/20 08:18 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
larry.fisherman said: Do you think you would have slept with the married lady so readily if he wasn't your friend and making you feel like it's more normal than you obviously feel like it shouldnt be? That's probably a hard question to answer but it's an important one.
First off, great post Larry and I greatly appreciate your input.
But I can't use what's been going on with my friend as an excuse for what I did a couple years ago (I'm not saying that you're saying that exactly btw; I'm just sayin).
That was just a situation where we worked together, and she sent signals my way and then vice versa. I justified that because she was openly talking about how they were on the verge of beginning the divorce process, so although technically still married, in reality they were finished.
And they did get a divorce shortly after for the record (and for reasons that existed long before I came along according to her). Regardless I still should not have justified that. I was still wrong. Ultimately I woke up to the reality of what I was involved with, severed ties completely and put it behind me because it was a very toxic situation.
But yeah the whole thing was beyond stupid for me and I learned a great deal from it. As a very close friend at the time put it -- you 100% don't involve yourself in a situation like that whatsoever until the divorce is absolutely final.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,835
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla] 3
#26654645 - 05/07/20 08:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Your good ol' friend is manipulating, and using you to his advantage.
As another poster mentioned...if he's willing to lie to his wife, and go behind her back, he will do the same thing to you.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: The Blind Ass] 1
#26654646 - 05/07/20 08:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Blind Ass said:
Now Niffla must find safe passage through the mines of a tumultuous friendship - one path leads to ruin, another to redemption, and the third leads to a strange love triangle.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: 1234go]
#26654648 - 05/07/20 08:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
1234go said: Your good ol' friend is manipulating, and using you to his advantage.
Yep. Which is pretty disappointing to fully realize now. Like I said for the longest I considered him on the level of a brother. Still do to some extent.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,835
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: Niffla]
#26654649 - 05/07/20 08:25 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Close friend of mine has been a habitual cheater for years [Re: 1234go] 2
#26654663 - 05/07/20 08:32 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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