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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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How does one find themselves? 1
#26650039 - 05/05/20 08:11 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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This was a question i was asked while tripping qith a friend. Shes great. But damn. It really caused me to evaluate alot. She asks me who i am.. and i couldnt answer. I tried so hard to talk and come up with an answer but i really stayed silent for a whole hour. It was quite a night filled with emotions. I got alot of thinking to do and i wanted some outside opinions on the matter. Thanks
*i feel like i should add more...* I got asked who i was because for the last month I've just seemed like a husk of a person. Im really fun to vibe and chill with but im so silent and not talkative. She doesnt like that she doesnt know what im thinking about at all. Not even the slightest clue. And sometimes i dont even know myself because my mind is blank but also feels everywhere. I just wish i knew how to find out who i am as a person, ehsts my identity and place in this world? it's something that's gonna take all day to come up with even the slightest bit of an answer. Healing is a process of personal growth and im just getting started.
Edited by RoastedWafflez (05/05/20 08:27 AM)
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Karuna


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 60
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It's a subtle path. Ultimately, finding yourself is being yourself - to be true to yourself.
We fill our minds with a lot of thoughts and beliefs throughout the years which can limit how we experience our sense of self. Being true to yourself I would say is not being so dependent on all those thoughts to define who you are - being natural.
It can seem elusive because prior to the mind's limitations, life is a mystery.
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: Karuna]
#26650115 - 05/05/20 08:54 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I feel like that's partly the reason im not sure of myself. I let my thoughts get the best of me alot of the time. Im not always true to myself. Its not much but its something to work off of. I just need to try be my natural self and not a husk of a person.
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InnerWisdom



Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 6 days, 19 hours
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Quote:
RoastedWafflez said:
*i feel like i should add more...* I got asked who i was because for the last month I've just seemed like a husk of a person. Im really fun to vibe and chill with but im so silent and not talkative. She doesnt like that she doesnt know what im thinking about at all. Not even the slightest clue. And sometimes i dont even know myself because my mind is blank but also feels everywhere. I just wish i knew how to find out who i am as a person, ehsts my identity and place in this world? it's something that's gonna take all day to come up with even the slightest bit of an answer. Healing is a process of personal growth and im just getting started.
Do you have trouble talking about your thoughts and feelings, or are they just not there? Either way, it's okay, you can even start by telling that to her if you like. NO need to rush. You can be how you are at the moment. It's important to remember that young people always project something unto others that they are not aware of. That's just something that came to my mind, and I don't mean anything specific by it, but in this case I just think it applies to both you and your friend. Would love to hear more about your thoughts on this matter.
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: InnerWisdom] 1
#26650184 - 05/05/20 09:37 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I do. I have alot of trouble talking about my lifr and feelings. She was genuinely the one person that cared enough to ask and thats also the reason why i felt comfortable tripping together. We're the same age but she has so much more life experience than me. Its inspiring if im being honest. But yeah. I do have trouble with it. There's also moments where they just aint there either. More so the other tho.. and it most likely is. We're both taking today to integrate and process what we both went through lastnight. Relieving and emotional
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SizlChest
Padawan



Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 814
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 1 day, 20 hours
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This is why I really look forward to neural interfaces and wizard hats. Probably won't get to experience them myself, but I am excited nontheless. Imagine being able to communicate entire ideas in a way that would be unambiguous in it's precision and nuance. Not words describing an idea, but the ideas themselves, whether or not you can actually communicate them with language. So many concepts are watered down so much because we have to translate them into language.
-------------------- PrimalSoup's Tea Tek
   "I always say the tea is like eating a burning tire covered in dog shit while someone steps on your nuts. Good luck!" "Hell, shrooms have blown up from under me and kicked my ass on 2 grams once." "I think ill eat some shrooms right about now, and ill continue to until it doesnt feel like the right thing to do."
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,703
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is who we are the same question as what we are?
maybe after consideration of what we are, who we are is what we do when we are aware of what we are in the context of that awareness.
otherwise who we are could be what we have been doing, including what kind of awareness we have done it with.
--------------------
_ đź§ _
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acidgoofy
Freak


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 192
Loc: Germany
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Question everything! Are you the voice in your head? Are you the body? Think about all that when you are tripping.
Trough serious contemplation you can answer everything you want to know, especially with psychedelics.
The most important thing is a strong desire to really find out no matter what.
-------------------- “What you seek is seeking you” Rumi
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CountHTML
Stranger


Registered: 06/24/18
Posts: 557
Loc: Maine
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: acidgoofy] 1
#26650529 - 05/05/20 11:55 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I always start from two core assumptions, and build on that. A. I am essentially an animal and B. I seem slightly more evolved than other animals. It is out of these that I try to understand myself and my motivations.
I believe the sense of self is an illusion. We’re all led by carrots we do and do not see.
I do contemplate frequently the idea that in order to be lost, one needs to possess something worth finding. Feeling lost seems to be a consistent theme in human qualitative experience.
There are vast landscapes of mind to be found through psychedelics. The agentic self, though, seems illusory.
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: CountHTML]
#26651736 - 05/05/20 09:17 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Well guys, this feels like the way to go but i think its finally time for the high dose trip ive been thinking of for the past year. If the plans work out and its a nice day tomorrow i intend on munching as much as i can of the quarter of PE mushrooms i have left. I have zero intention for this to be a recreational trip and i feel like im ready to deal with whatever's gonna be thrown at me. It's definitely gonna be a time. Im hoping that i can get previous mentioned friend on standby incase i need a trip sitter. But im also intending on getting through it alone. I'll just wait and see
Thoughts?
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alephdog
Protégé


Registered: 05/03/20
Posts: 62
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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If they're potent and your tolerance is reset, 5g should be plenty for an introspective trip.
Just eat well the day before, have some bud, and go for a light walk to get the blood moving. Hope you come to an understanding, it's not a guaranteed experience!
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: alephdog]
#26651780 - 05/05/20 09:36 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'd assume you mean go for a walk before dosing? And yeah. They're pretty potent. When i was microdosing 100mg i was feeling effects. Hence why im choosing to do it with this strain. And thank you, Im hoping the same aswell.
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alephdog
Protégé


Registered: 05/03/20
Posts: 62
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Sometimes I would take a walk and listen to music just after dosing, instead of just laying around anxiously waiting for it to hit lol. If it was more recreational I would even go during, to the park or something.
Let us know what happens
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: alephdog]
#26651823 - 05/05/20 10:09 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thought so. Laying around waiting for it to hit is so boring and gets you anxious. Walking while waiting sounds like a good plan. I'll definitely give an update when it happens
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Stay close to home. Don't get caught out and about on a heavy one.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: pineninja]
#26651987 - 05/06/20 01:20 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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So i was browsing YouTube just now before bed and YouTube recommended me a Alan Watts talk named "Knowing myself by letting go". I have no clue what it's about but i think i should listen to that tomorrow during my trip.
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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I think that you should get to know yourself by spending time with yourself.
Some music that's not to heavy on lyric or theme would be my suggestion.
Maybe listen to him during the weeks after to help you reconcile the experience.
But whatever feels right at the time.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: How does one find themselves? [Re: pineninja] 1
#26652002 - 05/06/20 01:26 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Good suggestions. Always gotta remember im still just talking about it. As most people know things change. Especially when mushrooms are involved.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,731
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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There is a sutta, wherein it has a few lines in regards to the OP’s question that goes like this:
Hakuin Zenji’s Song of Zazen
All sentient beings are essentially Buddhas. As with water and ice, there is no ice without water; apart from sentient beings, there are no Buddha’s.
“ Not knowing how close the truth is we seek it far away – what a pity! We are like one who in the midst of water cries out desperately in thirst. We are like the son of a rich man who wandered away among the poor. The reason we transmigrate through the six realms is because we are lost in the darkness of ignorance.”
/end.
That’s the first half of it, I find it useful and clear so I hope you do too * RoastedWafflez,
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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RoastedWafflez
Psychonaut Newbie



Registered: 07/03/18
Posts: 64
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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I'll keep in mind what you said "The Blind Ass" 🤣, i intend on eating them today. Im just waiting for the restaurant to open to get breakfast as the only things here are eggs and id rather not put myself through that
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