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Offlineviraldrome
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What should replace the handshake? * 2
    #26647136 - 05/03/20 10:42 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The handshake is anachronistic practice from the good ole days that came about so you could see that someone had no weapon when you met them on craigslist to buy their horse and buggy. I never really liked handshakes, you get those goobers who think bone crushing you proves their dominance. Today I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while it was awkward, clearly it was a  handshake moment, and both of us gave off super weird "I like you but don't touch me" vibes. So what alternatives are there?

Just stay the fuck away and wave. The safest option on the list.



Fist bump, slightly better than a handshake but still touching hands



Elbow bump. I saw Mike Mike Pence do it and looked like an old white guy trying to be cool. We have to remember this will be for everyone not just your hipster douchbag buddies at the starbucks



salute, just like the military you never joined you lazy pot head



Finger guns. I like this one "pew pew pew" sounds are optional 



Air kisses. I used to live in the French part of Canada and kiss kiss was this weird thing everyone does, even guys, you get used to it. This is the same but no touching. We have to consider things like will this take off in Texas. I can't see two good old boys doing it.




Bow. Like in Japan but without all their crazy rules about who bows more or longer.




Curtsy. About goddamn time that came back.




The Foot tap AKA the Wuhan shake. Practical, unless you have mud on your boots.



Namaste it could be used for more than just Yoga class is over



Kancho is "clasping the hands together in the shape of an imaginary gun and attempting to poke an unsuspecting victim's anus, often while exclaiming "Kan-CHO!" It is almost certainly considered sexual assault by the law. We have a chance to really change things in society, lets go all all out...



Fell free to add you own, ie jazz hands, vulcan salutes, hip bump etc
What should replace the handshake?
You may choose many


Votes accepted from (05/03/20 09:25 PM) to (No end specified)
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



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Invisiblebudmanman
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: viraldrome] * 2
    #26647140 - 05/03/20 10:43 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Hold your breath and cross yo dicks.


--------------------
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OfflineSonicTitan
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: budmanman] * 1
    #26647141 - 05/03/20 10:44 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

\m/


--------------------
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: SonicTitan] * 1
    #26647184 - 05/03/20 11:35 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I enjoy a good handshake. You can tell a lot about a person by there handshake.

Only thing i don't like is if they're doing one of the variations of the classic handshake. I can do some but it can be awkward if you guess which way there going wrong. Then it's like shit this person's probably always going to think of me as the dude who shakes hands like a douche.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: viraldrome] * 1
    #26647193 - 05/03/20 11:42 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

A hug

If you don't love your fellow humans enough to hug them then you need to go within ya little wounded baby!


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: twighead]
    #26647196 - 05/03/20 11:45 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

twighead said:
A hug

If you don't love your fellow humans enough to hug them then you need to go within ya little wounded baby!




I've leapt into good friends arms that I haven't seen in long periods of time. I definitely enjoy a good hug.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Enjoywho] * 2
    #26647210 - 05/03/20 11:57 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I vote the head nod


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow] * 1
    #26647422 - 05/04/20 04:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The wink, or 10,000 years of pain.


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: The Blind Ass] * 1
    #26647442 - 05/04/20 04:30 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I like the foot tap. Haven't seen it before


--------------------
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InvisibleAsante
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: ichugwindex] * 3
    #26647453 - 05/04/20 04:43 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Neonazis are way ahead of this with a greeting pioneered in the 1930s :lol:

They can't get it to catch on though.




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OfflineSugabearcrisp
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Asante] * 1
    #26647480 - 05/04/20 05:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I like to do the double hand or off hand wave, since most people can't wave very well with their non dominant hand it looks a little silly and will make the person recieving the wave smile.


Can be combined with jazz hands


--------------------
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Edited by Sugabearcrisp (05/04/20 03:34 PM)


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OfflineLoaded Shaman
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: budmanman] * 1
    #26647483 - 05/04/20 05:09 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

budmanman said:
Hold your breath and cross yo dicks.




I came in this thread with a well thought out argument in favor of traditional handshaking still, but I've been defeated by this solution right here.


--------------------



"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Loaded Shaman]
    #26647494 - 05/04/20 05:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)



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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Asante]
    #26647507 - 05/04/20 05:25 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I recognize those actors from Peep Show. What is that show they are on in that clip? I was loving it


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: ichugwindex] * 1
    #26647539 - 05/04/20 06:05 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:freewilly:  The free willy dick shake could replace the handshake for men atleast .


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26647544 - 05/04/20 06:12 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ichugwindex said:
I recognize those actors from Peep Show. What is that show they are on in that clip? I was loving it




I dunno the show but they did a lotof work together, maybe wiki them!


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
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InvisibleAsclepius
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: viraldrome] * 1
    #26648507 - 05/04/20 02:49 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I didn't see circle jerks anywhere on that list. 

:confused:


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Asclepius]
    #26648509 - 05/04/20 02:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

My vote is for docking


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #26648512 - 05/04/20 02:52 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

....The mouthshake


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Asclepius]
    #26648513 - 05/04/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Asclepius said:
I didn't see circle jerks anywhere on that list. 

:confused:



You both get a cracker and jerk off on it, then you both stick them together like an Oreo and split it in half for both of you to keep as a symbol of brotherhood.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: larry.fisherman] * 1
    #26648544 - 05/04/20 03:17 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The elbow bump is what has become the norm in my neck of the woods.

I like it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #26648671 - 05/04/20 04:37 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

how about the booty bump



the booty bump is underrated I feels


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Invisibletrees
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #26648693 - 05/04/20 04:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)



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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: trees]
    #26648818 - 05/04/20 06:07 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

You're thinking waaaaay to hard about this.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26648891 - 05/04/20 06:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Since we are all thanatos10 it doesn't matter how we do it :awehigh: I'm gonna bug you about it until you come to to your senses :p or at least become happy with your life :shroomeryhead:


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26648945 - 05/04/20 07:10 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Since we are all thanatos10 it doesn't matter how we do it :awehigh: I'm gonna bug you about it until you come to to your senses :p or at least become happy with your life :shroomeryhead:




I didn't say everyone was me, I just said I can't be sure they aren't


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26648958 - 05/04/20 07:14 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

You clearly are on the side that believes or you wouldn't argue about it that much :wonka:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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Offlinetwighead
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26648971 - 05/04/20 07:17 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)



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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: twighead]
    #26648976 - 05/04/20 07:20 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Why cant you just be happy? Do you get off  on negativity? I dont like pessimists....


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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Offlineviraldrome
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: trees]
    #26648979 - 05/04/20 07:21 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:





Damn that was awkward. That's the risk we run here if its not a standard greeting followed by all.


--------------------
Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26648981 - 05/04/20 07:22 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Why cant you just be happy? Do you get off  on negativity? I dont like pessimists....



What's bad about the sandy?


--------------------
¿Check out some art m8?



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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: twighead] * 1
    #26648989 - 05/04/20 07:23 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I was talking about thanatos10 lol him not being happy is making me not happy.....so be happy thanatos10! :vibin:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26649064 - 05/04/20 08:01 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
I was talking about thanatos10 lol him not being happy is making me not happy.....so be happy thanatos10! :vibin:




thanatos be like

:waitthatsbad:

:whoopdeefriggindo:

:feelingblue:

:notimpressed:


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OfflineDoneKildatReason
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: twighead]
    #26649066 - 05/04/20 08:02 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Twighead -  what in the fuck was that?:eek:


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26649077 - 05/04/20 08:10 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
I was talking about thanatos10 lol him not being happy is making me not happy.....so be happy thanatos10! :vibin:




thanatos be like

:waitthatsbad:

:whoopdeefriggindo:

:feelingblue:

:notimpressed:




:rofl:  perfect


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26649192 - 05/04/20 09:11 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
You clearly are on the side that believes or you wouldn't argue about it that much :wonka:




I don't want to believe it, but again I can't verify that people exist so it seems like it's logical to behave as they don't. That way in case they are the fall from my original viewpoint will be less severe.


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OfflineSprewellSleeve
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26649427 - 05/04/20 11:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Air handshakes. The level of difficulty in accuracy would far surpass those fancy real ones.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26649433 - 05/05/20 12:03 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
You clearly are on the side that believes or you wouldn't argue about it that much :wonka:




I don't want to believe it, but again I can't verify that people exist so it seems like it's logical to behave as they don't. That way in case they are the fall from my original viewpoint will be less severe.



The opposite is JUST as logical. Except it has the added benefit of you being happy rather than sad :wonka: x2


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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Invisiblenooneman
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Re: What should replace the handshake? [Re: viraldrome] * 1
    #26649444 - 05/05/20 12:31 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

How about nothing, we just stop shaking hands and don't do anything else either.

Edit; if that doesn't work, then I suggest sex replace handshakes. If a man and a woman meet then they have to have sex to greet each other properly. If two straight dudes meet, then they have to go out and find a girl and take turns banging her in order to be properly introduced.


Edited by nooneman (05/05/20 12:36 AM)


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