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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Being alone 12
#26637717 - 04/29/20 09:34 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Man for over a decade i pretty much had no friends or anything.
It used to make me sad. It's not so bad though, know what i mean? I used to help the wrong people out a lot. It's hard to explain.
There's way too much to explain. If you really knew you would really understand.
I'm also happy with how it turned out so far. Life is way to short so it's cool to just be alive. I'll never forget that isolated, left out feeling of how i used to feel, for so long.
When i look back at what I've seen out there & who made me feel that way, i didn't miss out on anything anyway.
I just missed out on more problems. Maybe it's all just a bunch of idiots out there anyway. Who think they're smart. It was all just a learning experience. From those who wanted a free ride in a bad way.
I'm not one to judge. Maybe they think they're better, because they were socially conditioned to see within a lie of oppression and just shallowness. Just to see within a border without a opened mind.
It did lead to mistrust but not anymore, not if you're happy and you finally found trust just in yourself.
Thats all you need.
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zZZz
jesus



Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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crackbaby
shitpost aficionado



Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
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social aptitude and subsequent status tend to be overrated imo. For instance, John Wayne Gacy and Ted Bundy were both considered to be very charming, fine upstanding citizens until they became linked to all dem corpses
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brk
Unless...



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 10,210
Loc: SA
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Chin up WM. I know deep down you're a good guy. I'm going though some shit at the moment too. Things will get better. You just have to wait it out. Hopefully one day you'll look back and laugh.
-------------------- "To the young it gives a vision of the dead and gone. While the old receive a passion to survive, and the pattern picks the pockets of the palindrome, before the oscillating rhythm takes to flight..." - Rishloo

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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Being alone [Re: brk] 2
#26637942 - 04/30/20 12:06 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Same amigo. 
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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enjoi-more
Stranger

Registered: 10/31/13
Posts: 129
Last seen: 29 days, 23 hours
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Any good solo books like what Henry Thoreau wrote you all know of?
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MightyWhite

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 3,556
Last seen: 1 hour, 5 minutes
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: Man for over a decade i pretty much had no friends or anything.
It used to make me sad. It's not so bad though, know what i mean? I used to help the wrong people out a lot. It's hard to explain.
There's way too much to explain. If you really knew you would really understand.
I'm also happy with how it turned out so far. Life is way to short so it's cool to just be alive. I'll never forget that isolated, left out feeling of how i used to feel, for so long.
When i look back at what I've seen out there & who made me feel that way, i didn't miss out on anything anyway.
I just missed out on more problems. Maybe it's all just a bunch of idiots out there anyway. Who think they're smart. It was all just a learning experience. From those who wanted a free ride in a bad way.
I'm not one to judge. Maybe they think they're better, because they were socially conditioned to see within a lie of oppression and just shallowness. Just to see within a border without a opened mind.
It did lead to mistrust but not anymore, not if you're happy and you finally found trust just in yourself.
Thats all you need.
You're a fairly smart guy, I always look for your posts, I enjoy reading most of what you have say.
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pixelpopper
Crap Artist

Registered: 09/20/13
Posts: 4,022
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Quote:
The Blind Ass said: Same amigo.  
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Shenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
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I completely understand. I use to be a popular person but I couldn't handle it anymore so I left town and started to isolate. I just couldn't handle the drama anymore. I've been isolating for the past 5 years because I suffer from depression and anxiety. I honestly don't regret it though because it's given me a lot of time to think about life and the universe. When you're alone and have the internet you learn a lot of shit!!
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magoogle
Stranger


Registered: 04/01/20
Posts: 29
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Being alone [Re: Shenmue]
#26638145 - 04/30/20 02:51 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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There's wisdom in your words, thank you for sharing.
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Magenta
I care!!


Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
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I have always had friends, but i've never been close with any of them. I personnaly was brought up in a very isolated setting and i think that has something to do with this. Whether my deduction is right or wrong, i know for a fact that i have always struggeled to make friends. I have no problem making acquaintances and am probably better at doing it than most people but navigating that bridge from acquaintance to friendship has always been something that doesn't happen often for me. I have grown up like this and am used of having no one close. I feel lonely like you but you are so right, it has its advantages too. I see the world differently to most people.. I'm no genius i assure you but i think my unique view allows me to see things that others don't. Makes me feel pretty cool sometimes. I love your positivity man. It's not all bad, stay awesome!
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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If you'll notice I still love the quote I have in my sig.
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Asclepius
Human Being



Registered: 01/09/18
Posts: 2,209
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Re: Being alone [Re: Magenta] 1
#26638801 - 04/30/20 11:23 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Magenta said: I have always had friends, but i've never been close with any of them. I personnaly was brought up in a very isolated setting and i think that has something to do with this. Whether my deduction is right or wrong, i know for a fact that i have always struggeled to make friends. I have no problem making acquaintances and am probably better at doing it than most people but navigating that bridge from acquaintance to friendship has always been something that doesn't happen often for me. I have grown up like this and am used of having no one close. I feel lonely like you but you are so right, it has its advantages too. I see the world differently to most people.. I'm no genius i assure you but i think my unique view allows me to see things that others don't. Makes me feel pretty cool sometimes. I love your positivity man. It's not all bad, stay awesome! 
You are lucky if you live your entire life and are blessed with just two great friendships! I've personally only had one of those friendships in my life, but I lost touch with the person as they now live in a different continent. In my humble opinion, I don't think you, me or anyone else is an exception to that apparent truism. Like you, I am good at making acquaintances but have not had a true friend in many years... I think around five or six. Hell, the last time I got out of the house to have fun was back in November. I have come to accept that I am the only person who can make myself happy. That is not to say I do not desire friendship sometimes, but then I think of all the people who have lots of "friends" and who feel just as alone as me. I've gotten comfortable being by myself, not having to try too hard to please others because of what their expectations of me might be.
-------------------- A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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I remember the feeling caused by getting left out at times in the past when I was like 17-early 20s. Looking back, those people that I would have hung out with at those times where i felt left out were actually full of shit cringe thug wannabe losers who had completely false perceptions of coolness.
I have had some of those people try to reconnect with me down the years when they stared realizing they arent cool anymore and their popularity was bullshit. The people who they chose to party with turned out to be "back stabbing every man for himself "druggies and the people like me who wernt badass enough at the time now seem like the "true friends who could save their new found loneliness". I'm so passed all of that I can barely bother take time to even think about those old friends anymore even if I get calls from them
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Psicomb


Registered: 01/13/18
Posts: 4,635
Loc: the womb
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Re: Being alone [Re: trees] 1
#26638831 - 04/30/20 11:40 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I keep a small circle but I try to be friendly everywhere I go. Besides my girlfriend I spend almost all my time by myself. I enjoy it a lot. I have always been a homebody and being alone allows me to focus more on things that my heart begs me to follow.
I have three friends in particular from over the years who all live in different places but they are basically the most important people in my life. I know that they are often thinking of me and I of them and that makes me feel at peace with being and feeling alone. If I didn't have at least one or two friends like this in my life I feel I'd be missing out on a lot honestly.
--------------------
When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something - nick sand
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InnerWisdom



Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
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Re: Being alone [Re: Magenta] 1
#26638838 - 04/30/20 11:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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That's pretty much how I am too. At some point between 10-12 I got more depressed and feeling alone and lost the outgoing joyous personality I had earlier. Maybe it was just childhood's illusions of life being shattered now that I think about it and life got less fun with family and friend issues. Well, I still made friends throughout the schools, but like you said friends never stuck permanently. Like I don't have good friends that I have known most my life. It is always like getting new friends who are my friends for a while and even close and then drift apart or they turn out to not be such good friends to me. I think I have one permanent good friend now though which makes me happy. I have been thinking about this and I don't think it needs to change anymore. After all, I don't really want many new friends, if I did I would go after those possibilities. On the other hand, maybe it's more just being comfortable in the way of life I have that hinders me from changing it too much. Still, with all the friends I have, I sometimes wish we were closer, like a family of likeminded people, but they always seem so much different from me. Can still enjoy their company from time to time
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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I feel sad sometimes because I lack friends too, but then I think and realize that if I were important to some of the people I make an effort to stay in contact with, they would make the effort back. Like some of you, I'm good at making acquaintances, but not great at making friends.
I thought I had made a forever friend a couple of years ago until she disappeared into the ether of bits that is the web, where the friendship we had was originally forged.
I love your positive attitude WM, it's one I've been trying to have lately. Positivity and productivity. It's tough sometimes though, when it feels like we don't matter and we need to reach out to someone.
Thankfully the shroomery is here for me, and so are a few friend-quaintances on the net, whom always seem closer on line than in real life.
--------------------
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Thanks i am doing good.
I hope all of you guys are doing good.
Paintence is a good thing.
I'm not sure who Henry Thoreau or any of those guys are. I'll look into this.
I don't remember too much of what i write on here. Most of the time I'll just be chilled out in a meditative way.
The other day i was riding my bicycle and a thought jumped into my head. It was about my cat. I was just thinking hey man my cat is a pizza cat.
For some reason it had me laughing for a long time.
A few people noticed. It made them smile. They had no idea it was about this pizza cat.
Edited by watermelon mon (04/30/20 01:47 PM)
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I'll be your friend for life
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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I relate all too well to the OP post, which makes me feel like there are other like minded people out there, and that i am missing out on opportunities to meet them. But then i realize that they are probably isolating themselves rn
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix]
#26639081 - 04/30/20 01:49 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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You still in denver? when this clears up we should meet up and play some pool and have abeer.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Im not in denver i moved back home to upstate ny 3 years ago, and i quit drinking for... reasons.
Thanks tho i appreciate the offer
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix]
#26639093 - 04/30/20 01:53 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Coolio bro. Glad you're doing well.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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My issue isn’t so much with being alone as I could learn to deal with it, rather I don’t know how to be with other people. So it’s more a fear of social interaction.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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OMG, I was just reminded of this cheese, lol. Enjoy it people!
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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My diet and hygiene could be better, and i dont exercise. And my current life situation leaves me with little motivation to do anything other than my job at walmart.
BuT i beat depression without the aid of pharmeceuticals. And i beat alcoholism without god. so im happy about that.
My social anxiety is still the same as always tho.
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 1
#26639127 - 04/30/20 02:08 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well considering what you just posted you're doing very well, especially in this environment as of late. I remember a long time ago you posting a vid of you taking a hit of DMT.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I'm also completely sober from alcohol I just dont drink at all, because if i go back to one drink. Eventually it leads to unlimited drinks. It doesn't go well. I'm happy that shrooms work well even if it goes a bit dark it's not like alcohol.
Do a lot of long distance bicycling pretty much everyday. It feels super nice.
I'm looking forward to going somewhere else. I think that it will give me more of something to break the ice.
The reason why i was alone for so long it was because i always just minded my own business. Like, live and let live. I wasn't even drinking back then.
Recently made a few good friends with immigrants on visas. My best friend got deported. He didn't do anything wrong.
He did give me very good advice.
I watched out for all of them. Like the ones who aren't really in civilization, isolation or not. It did mean a lot both ways. They never tried to screw me over. I never asked them for anything but it was naturally like a two way street.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I found love on a 2 way street, and lost it on a lonely highway....
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InfiniteDreams


Registered: 10/25/19
Posts: 1,224
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Like it or not, we're all in this together.
Times like these are trying on everyone. It can be surprising who abandons you that you thought was your closest companion.
Yet, one more time around
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I am actually extremely lucky to have found a mate that I know will be with me until our end(s).
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: I'll be your friend for life 
Hellz yeah!
--------------------
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
InfiniteDreams said: Like it or not, we're all in this together.
Times like these are trying on everyone. It can be surprising who abandons you that you thought was your closest companion.
Yet, one more time around
Not really, but it feels good to pretend we are in this together
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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If we are not together then what does together mean to you under these circumstances? Like communism?
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 1
#26639601 - 04/30/20 05:52 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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We are alone together.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Asclepius
Human Being



Registered: 01/09/18
Posts: 2,209
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: I'm not sure who Henry Thoreau or any of those guys are. I'll look into this.
A good quote:
“Our life is frittered away by detail...Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let our affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand...Simplify, simplify!” -- Henry Thoreau
-------------------- A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I just had the thought that we're all living in wrapers in our own ways.
It's not a bad thing. Non of this is meant as bad.
Just truth. And it's all good.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/02/20 01:32 PM)
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: I just had the thought that were all living in wrapers in our own ways.
It's not a bad thing. Non of this is meant as bad.
Just truth. And it's all good.
That is a bad thing, it’s a source of a lot of harm in the world.
Also it’s never been all good.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Years and years ago this one person who i went to go visit all of the time. It was some chick that was really nice looking.
She used to beg me to come over and stuff i couldn't all of the time. somehow i pissed her off.
I think she may have made stuff up. Like it was the opposite way or something. I dont really know. Worse.
I like everybody it's all good. I feel like i wish that i could make everbody happy. Even though i know that it doesn't work for everybody.
I don't know why i brought it up. wish that i could have done better. On a lot of things. Not in a bad way.
We can all keep doing better. Or I'm working in it.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: Years and years ago this one person who i went to go visit all of the time. It was some chick that was really nice looking.
She used to beg me to come over and stuff i couldn't all of the time. somehow i pissed her off.
I think she may have made stuff up. Like it was the opposite way or something. I dont really know. Worse.
I like everybody it's all good. I feel like i wish that i could make everbody happy. Even though i know that it doesn't work for everybody.
I don't know why i brought it up. wish that i could have done better. On a lot of things. Not in a bad way.
We can all keep doing better. Or I'm working in it.
But you don’t like everyone
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I still like everybody.
Do see why you say that though.
What i mean is, just because someone wronged me. i don't wish them bad or anything, i really do just wish them well. I Don't have a problem with anyone because then it would just be another problem for me.
I do like to try and understand why people do and say what they do. Even if they're not sorry, it's way too much of a burden to grudge.
Like if i get really upset i can't eat, can't sleep, can't enjoy smoking weed or anything. I would kind of just get really nervous.
All of that 10 fold if i was the one who hurt somebody's feelings. So it's good to just chill.
Edited by watermelon mon (04/30/20 10:33 PM)
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: I still like everybody.
Do see why you say that though.
What i mean is, just because someone wronged me. i don't wish them bad or anything, i really do just wish them well. I Don't have a problem with anyone because then it would just be another problem for me.
I do like to try and understand why people do and say what they do. Even if they're not sorry, it's way too much of a burden to grudge.
Like if i get really upset i can't eat, can't sleep, can't enjoy smoking weed or anything. I would kind of just get really nervous.
All of that 10 fold if i was the one who hurt somebody's feelings. So it's good to just chill.
Because people who say they like anyone only mean it in the superficial sense. It's not a true practice.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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pixelpopper
Crap Artist

Registered: 09/20/13
Posts: 4,022
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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i keep hearing dudes on podcasts talk about how we are naturally social creatures and we need to be around other people to be happy/healthy
and i just feel like i must be some hybrid alien motherfucker then
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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I know what you mean WM. I don't understand how people hold a grudge for so long. At least in personal things. Except for rare occasions, like that room mate that knifed my new car for no apparent reason.
If anything, I forgive too easily and have fallen into the same traps more than once. Something I try not to do anymore.
When I can't though, I try and distance myself. Because keeping those bad emotions around just ruins my day. I used to be able to channel the anger into something productive, but I get angry so rarely nowadays that I forgot how to. Sometimes I wish I could get angry more often. I think it means that I don't care enough. But caring too much takes control away from me and my actions.
--------------------
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Quote:
pixelpopper said: i keep hearing dudes on podcasts talk about how we are naturally social creatures and we need to be around other people to be happy/healthy
and i just feel like i must be some hybrid alien motherfucker then
I think I understand why some people strictly believe and will preach that social interaction is absolutely necessary for happiness. It's because they are unable to conceptualize life experiences of other people. Many people think that their own life experiences and head spaces are perfectly representative for all other humans. You tell these people that you don't need social interaction to feel happiness and they go ape shit lIke you're absurd and out of line and must be lying to yourself. It's just not possible for them to accept that different people experience reality differently from each other. What they don't realize which I do, is that I have a different experience of reality than they do.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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It's a blessing. 
Almost never get angrey.
Not so long ago i used to work with this one guy, who he told me to start brooming the floor.
I just ignored him. He grabbed me and threw me to the broom and he said broom. I got really mad at him and almost fought him. He ended up getting scared. After that we became friends. He isn't a bad guy.
I think he just had a bad day.
Gave him some cool chocolate.
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TheEschatologist
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/18
Posts: 354
Last seen: 19 days, 12 hours
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Re: Being alone [Re: trees] 3
#26641259 - 05/01/20 12:45 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hey, I'm not a well known member but if anyone on here ever feels like they just need someone to talk to, I'm available 
Being alone seems to suit some better than others, but I don't think anyone is immune to loneliness - or at the very least getting a bit bored with your own ruminations. I'm in the extreme introvert camp and have had periods in life where I wanted nothing more than to be cut off from the world indefinitely. That's nice for a while if you can achieve it, but the trap is becoming self-obsessed and losing your ability to relate to the world outside of your skull. I have a few relatives and friends that have gone this way and it's clear they're not happy, but the only thing tormenting them is just themselves.
Connecting with people is a good way to grow as a person, even if it's tiring. Finding a little tribe of decent friends seems to be more luck of the draw than anything else though. I wish I could just go out and meet people but I have some social anxiety and really don't like small talk or all the rituals around feigning friendliness. "So what's your childhood trauma?" is not the best opener for making new acquaintances...
Wishing everyone peace in their solitude, or lack thereof TE
Edited by TheEschatologist (05/01/20 12:48 PM)
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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I'd get pissed at the guy too, to be honest. Good thing you didn't fight! I'm not sure I would have had the same restraint in that situation, I would have at least verbally retaliated.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Quote:
TheEschatologist said: Hey, I'm not a well known member but if anyone on here ever feels like they just need someone to talk to, I'm available 
TE
Same.
Yeah sorry to bring it up. If he would have done it in a joking way it would have been ok or even asked nicely.
It was meant to hurt. If i did pick up the broom and listend it wouldn't have been good.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Quote:
watermelon mon said:
Quote:
TheEschatologist said: Hey, I'm not a well known member but if anyone on here ever feels like they just need someone to talk to, I'm available 
TE
Same.
Yeah sorry to bring it up. If he would have done it in a joking way it would have been ok or even asked nicely.
It was meant to hurt. If i did pick up the broom and listend it wouldn't have been good.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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mongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger



Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,351
Loc: UK
Last seen: 3 days, 4 hours
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Re: Being alone [Re: Shenmue]
#26641439 - 05/01/20 02:16 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shenmue said: I honestly don't regret it though because it's given me a lot of time to think about life and the universe. When you're alone and have the internet you learn a lot of shit!!
Yeah I need me some solitude
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Magenta
I care!!


Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
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Besides cycling what do you like to do for fun mate? Do you do art stuff like drawing or play music or anything?
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
watermelon mon said:
Yeah sorry to bring it up. If he would have done it in a joking way it would have been ok or even asked nicely.
It was meant to hurt. If i did pick up the broom and listend it wouldn't have been good.
I think your reaction was a good one.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I like to garden & cook all kinds of food.
Enjoy watching birds / clouds. Playing with cats / dogs.
Listening to nature. Like the water and stuff. It sounds peaceful.
Starting fires to chill at.
Need to buy some paint. I used all of my old paintings in my fireplace.
I mostly only just bicycle it makes me feel good. It takes away anxiety. Gives off a rush. You get to go everywhere and see everything. I never see anyone out there bicycleing. Just those robot looking people in spandex. They're cool. They probably shouldn't ride in the road with the cars though. I never road one of those bicycles.
I want to find a cool tree on the water to climbe and hang some wind chimes there. Also want to make some cartoons and go somwhere that is hot, all of the time.
When i was a kid everybody used to send me up to the weed man. So i road a bicycle. At first i was like shit this is going to be, a far long ride. Man it was so much fun.
Then after a trip back in 2012. I never stopped riding my bicycle. Almost everyday after that. I never stopped.
I can't do the indoor bicycleing. It's not the same. So i need to get away from ice and snow.
Tried fat bikes but they aren't for the ice. They go really well in the sand.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/02/20 01:55 PM)
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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What do you do for fun ?
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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I used to love biking everywhere until I fell off my bike, nothing bad happened thankfully, but it sorta made me less willing to use my bike as often. I'll probably be patching up the flat tire my bike has though, no use in just having it collecting dust, especially since I haven't been getting enough exercise recently.
There's not a whole lot of places to ride though, or at least not that I know of. And they get repetitive quickly.
Other than that I tend to my plants, I've been taking a cyber security course to brush up on my skills because I haven't practiced a lot since my last IT related job.
I think I'm becoming boring. I don't read, train or learn as much as I used to. I listen to plenty of podcasts though.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Quote:
ninja cat 09 said: Sometimes I wish I could get angry more often. I think it means that I don't care enough. But caring too much takes control away from me and my actions.
Me and the reason my girlfriends always leave me
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Quote:
TheEschatologist said: "So what's your childhood trauma?" is not the best opener for making new acquaintances...
God i wish somebody would ask me something like that seriously like my coworkers or somethin where i can actually feel invested in a real conversation and human connection. I get so bored of idle chatter.
Its a shame we have to pay a licensed professional just to be able to open up and share some deep insight into our lives. No wonder so many people are depressed and lonely.
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix]
#26644457 - 05/02/20 07:09 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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What kind of podcasts do you like ?
You should fix up your bike. Sorry to hear about falling down. I know what you mean about how the trails get old. Somehow i like to try and keep it fresh in my mind. Most of my ride is on the water. Water never gets old.
Quote:
Envix said:
Quote:
ninja cat 09 said: Sometimes I wish I could get angry more often. I think it means that I don't care enough. But caring too much takes control away from me and my actions.
Me and the reason my girlfriends always leave me
I never really met anyone because i don't want to play the game.
Do understand how it works. A lot of the time when I'm riding my bike and chicks who are together see me coming, they start laughing. they look happy so thats cool.
About a year ago i seen 3 of them at the store. They were all laughing. One of them said that she loves watermelon. They were buying chips. The other one said that she is going to put mapel syrup on her chips. While they all laughed. I got scared and i was like what the fuck. It was for real. 
Feel free to talk about anything you want.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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My dad gave me his old bike but I have not taken it out for a ride yet. Have not left the property in quite a while, just back and forth from the house to the yard.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi]
#26644679 - 05/02/20 09:02 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Infinite donuts
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 2
#26644688 - 05/02/20 09:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi] 1
#26644749 - 05/02/20 09:39 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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C'mon thats too good
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 1
#26644764 - 05/02/20 09:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Mobius donut, the endless dessert
I like that it looks like something Homer Simpson would eat
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
Envix said:
Quote:
ninja cat 09 said: Sometimes I wish I could get angry more often. I think it means that I don't care enough. But caring too much takes control away from me and my actions.
Me and the reason my girlfriends always leave me
Sounds like toxic relationships, I always avoided women who tried to make me jealous or were controlling or overly insecure (I made that mistake once before, and boy was it a bad one). I didn't have a relationship for the longest time, only fuck buddies, but now that I'm in a really healthy relationship I'm glad I waited.
Quote:
Envix said: Its a shame we have to pay a licensed professional just to be able to open up and share some deep insight into our lives. No wonder so many people are depressed and lonely.
It kind of is, but I've found it easier to share that type of stuff with internet friends. Paying for it is worth it IMHO. Even very good internet friends won't be able to tell you about your quirks or problems or help you out as well as a therapist could.
Quote:
watermelon mon said: What kind of podcasts do you like ?
You should fix up your bike. Sorry to hear about falling down. I know what you mean about how the trails get old. Somehow i like to try and keep it fresh in my mind. Most of my ride is on the water. Water never gets old.
Comedy, cyber security, organized crime, there's this Mexican podcast I like a lot about serial murderers called Leyendas Legendarias (Legendary Legends) if you speak any spanish you should check it out!
I'll probably fix it up this week. I've been locked inside waaay too long, getting nothing done. I love having a mountain bike on the city, the few bike paths that exist are really shitty and only a mountain bike can really handle them, and sometimes not even that.
Quote:
watermelon mon said: About a year ago i seen 3 of them at the store. They were all laughing. One of them said that she loves watermelon. They were buying chips. The other one said that she is going to put mapel syrup on her chips. While they all laughed. I got scared and i was like what the fuck. It was for real. 
Feel free to talk about anything you want.
Once when I was at the beach some girls invited me to their car, I don't know if it was because they thought I was cute or I was the only male around. I said no, because fuck getting in a strangers' car in Guerrero. I kinda regret it though.
For some reason on that same trip I thought it would be OK to get in a car with a bunch of guys. I think the risk was bigger then 
Thankfully the guys were cool, they were all gay and they all treated me with respect, which reinforced my questioning of the predominantly homophobic views that are around the city I live in.
I gotta move...
Were they laughing at you or with you? Do you know why? Maybe they were stoned too.
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi]
#26647723 - 05/04/20 08:19 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said: My dad gave me his old bike but I have not taken it out for a ride yet. Have not left the property in quite a while, just back and forth from the house to the yard.
You got pics? Is it any good?
We've still got my mom's old track bikes. They're heavy as fuck, but apparently they were the shit back in the day.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Those podcasts sound good.
At first i though what happened at the store was a coincidence. Until i realized that i got doxed off here. I dont think they meant it in a seriously harmful way.
Something like that has happened quite a few times. It's always been in a really passive aggressive way. If i did end up confronting any of the people who did it. They would probably just try to gas light me.
It also doesn't make me angry. So i dont see the point.
I've been in the groups before. They kind of all just sit around talking bad about other people.
But then they are mostly nice to that persons face.
It's really scary. They always need that one person to ostracize and scapegoat. I completely understand the psychology behind this. It's really disturbing.
I know that non of these people are solid people. They might seem like it. If and when shit really goes down. They will all turn on each other. They will all steal , snitch and just betray.
I've seen these kinds of clicks or groups many times. I'm weird enough to have been the guy they hate. Also not so weird that I've rolled with them.
They might seem cool but they aren't.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/04/20 07:45 PM)
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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That sounds horrible man, did you know these girls? Or did they have a friend of a friend in common? Seems like a weird thing to make fun of someone about.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I have no idea who any of them are. That one time was the nicest anyone has gone about it.
Where are you thinking about moving to ? I love where I'm at. I'm looking for a different life style though. I can't complain. Something fresh would be cool. Like on the ocean. Bicycleing / surfing & fishing.
Can make anything work.
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Damn man, that really sucks. Maybe a change of view would be best. Having your shroomery username out there isn't the best :/
I'm hoping to move to Canada, but I got some health issues worrying me for now. Maybe I'll wait for this corona thing to blow over or at least slow down.
I'd love to live on the beach or near it. I wanna move to Victoria, Vancouver or the Vancouver Islands. I've visited Nanaimo and it's amazing.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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That sounds awesome. Well wishes on the health. You should do it.
Yeah it sucks. Going somewhere new will be good.
The only reason why i still came / come on here, it's because i figured that they probably dont really care. Everybody thinks they are super important or something, when really no one actually cares. Criticisms isn't always a bad thing. Depending on how you look at it.
Especially if you don't do or say anything wrong. I mostly keep it happy & positive. Sometimes everything can't be happy or positive.
The last time i drank it was about March 16th. I've felt a lot better. It took a bit of time. My mind works better now.
Exercising really helps the most.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/04/20 09:32 PM)
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pixelpopper
Crap Artist

Registered: 09/20/13
Posts: 4,022
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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I get depressed often in my solitude, but honestly its not so much being alone. Its the constant realization that I can't live my life this way and that I am eventually going to have to get a job at Walmart because society has no options for dudes that are happy in solitude but lack the financial background to buy some off grid land and build a small house
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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The hardest lesson I ever had to learn about this human condition I was born into is that, no matter what we do or who we surround ourselves with, we are always, inherently, alone.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
pixelpopper said: I get depressed often in my solitude, but honestly its not so much being alone. Its the constant realization that I can't live my life this way and that I am eventually going to have to get a job at Walmart because society has no options for dudes that are happy in solitude but lack the financial background to buy some off grid land and build a small house
IT is pretty OK at that, most of it is working on things on your own, but you do have to deal with people on a daily basis, as you would at walmart or likely any other job. Why not try the park ranger route?
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: The hardest lesson I ever had to learn about this human condition I was born into is that, no matter what we do or who we surround ourselves with, we are always, inherently, alone.
Why u gotta be like that?
I mean, you're right. I've always been blaming my loneliness on personal factors, like not being good at socializing, or social cues, just not being interesting or recently my aspergers (which I didn't know I had). But just admitting I'm likely always inherently alone is a tough lesson.
I've heard that that's why people miss the army when they leave. They don't have that camaraderie that only comes from life-risking adventure. Maybe that's why its so easy to make friends at the climbing wall.
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