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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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My dad gave me his old bike but I have not taken it out for a ride yet. Have not left the property in quite a while, just back and forth from the house to the yard.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi]
#26644679 - 05/02/20 09:02 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Infinite donuts
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 2
#26644688 - 05/02/20 09:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi] 1
#26644749 - 05/02/20 09:39 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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C'mon thats too good
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Being alone [Re: Envix] 1
#26644764 - 05/02/20 09:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Mobius donut, the endless dessert
I like that it looks like something Homer Simpson would eat
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
Envix said:
Quote:
ninja cat 09 said: Sometimes I wish I could get angry more often. I think it means that I don't care enough. But caring too much takes control away from me and my actions.
Me and the reason my girlfriends always leave me
Sounds like toxic relationships, I always avoided women who tried to make me jealous or were controlling or overly insecure (I made that mistake once before, and boy was it a bad one). I didn't have a relationship for the longest time, only fuck buddies, but now that I'm in a really healthy relationship I'm glad I waited.
Quote:
Envix said: Its a shame we have to pay a licensed professional just to be able to open up and share some deep insight into our lives. No wonder so many people are depressed and lonely.
It kind of is, but I've found it easier to share that type of stuff with internet friends. Paying for it is worth it IMHO. Even very good internet friends won't be able to tell you about your quirks or problems or help you out as well as a therapist could.
Quote:
watermelon mon said: What kind of podcasts do you like ?
You should fix up your bike. Sorry to hear about falling down. I know what you mean about how the trails get old. Somehow i like to try and keep it fresh in my mind. Most of my ride is on the water. Water never gets old.
Comedy, cyber security, organized crime, there's this Mexican podcast I like a lot about serial murderers called Leyendas Legendarias (Legendary Legends) if you speak any spanish you should check it out!
I'll probably fix it up this week. I've been locked inside waaay too long, getting nothing done. I love having a mountain bike on the city, the few bike paths that exist are really shitty and only a mountain bike can really handle them, and sometimes not even that.
Quote:
watermelon mon said: About a year ago i seen 3 of them at the store. They were all laughing. One of them said that she loves watermelon. They were buying chips. The other one said that she is going to put mapel syrup on her chips. While they all laughed. I got scared and i was like what the fuck. It was for real. 
Feel free to talk about anything you want.
Once when I was at the beach some girls invited me to their car, I don't know if it was because they thought I was cute or I was the only male around. I said no, because fuck getting in a strangers' car in Guerrero. I kinda regret it though.
For some reason on that same trip I thought it would be OK to get in a car with a bunch of guys. I think the risk was bigger then 
Thankfully the guys were cool, they were all gay and they all treated me with respect, which reinforced my questioning of the predominantly homophobic views that are around the city I live in.
I gotta move...
Were they laughing at you or with you? Do you know why? Maybe they were stoned too.
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Re: Being alone [Re: psi]
#26647723 - 05/04/20 08:19 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said: My dad gave me his old bike but I have not taken it out for a ride yet. Have not left the property in quite a while, just back and forth from the house to the yard.
You got pics? Is it any good?
We've still got my mom's old track bikes. They're heavy as fuck, but apparently they were the shit back in the day.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Those podcasts sound good.
At first i though what happened at the store was a coincidence. Until i realized that i got doxed off here. I dont think they meant it in a seriously harmful way.
Something like that has happened quite a few times. It's always been in a really passive aggressive way. If i did end up confronting any of the people who did it. They would probably just try to gas light me.
It also doesn't make me angry. So i dont see the point.
I've been in the groups before. They kind of all just sit around talking bad about other people.
But then they are mostly nice to that persons face.
It's really scary. They always need that one person to ostracize and scapegoat. I completely understand the psychology behind this. It's really disturbing.
I know that non of these people are solid people. They might seem like it. If and when shit really goes down. They will all turn on each other. They will all steal , snitch and just betray.
I've seen these kinds of clicks or groups many times. I'm weird enough to have been the guy they hate. Also not so weird that I've rolled with them.
They might seem cool but they aren't.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/04/20 07:45 PM)
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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That sounds horrible man, did you know these girls? Or did they have a friend of a friend in common? Seems like a weird thing to make fun of someone about.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I have no idea who any of them are. That one time was the nicest anyone has gone about it.
Where are you thinking about moving to ? I love where I'm at. I'm looking for a different life style though. I can't complain. Something fresh would be cool. Like on the ocean. Bicycleing / surfing & fishing.
Can make anything work.
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Damn man, that really sucks. Maybe a change of view would be best. Having your shroomery username out there isn't the best :/
I'm hoping to move to Canada, but I got some health issues worrying me for now. Maybe I'll wait for this corona thing to blow over or at least slow down.
I'd love to live on the beach or near it. I wanna move to Victoria, Vancouver or the Vancouver Islands. I've visited Nanaimo and it's amazing.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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That sounds awesome. Well wishes on the health. You should do it.
Yeah it sucks. Going somewhere new will be good.
The only reason why i still came / come on here, it's because i figured that they probably dont really care. Everybody thinks they are super important or something, when really no one actually cares. Criticisms isn't always a bad thing. Depending on how you look at it.
Especially if you don't do or say anything wrong. I mostly keep it happy & positive. Sometimes everything can't be happy or positive.
The last time i drank it was about March 16th. I've felt a lot better. It took a bit of time. My mind works better now.
Exercising really helps the most.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/04/20 09:32 PM)
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pixelpopper
Crap Artist

Registered: 09/20/13
Posts: 4,022
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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I get depressed often in my solitude, but honestly its not so much being alone. Its the constant realization that I can't live my life this way and that I am eventually going to have to get a job at Walmart because society has no options for dudes that are happy in solitude but lack the financial background to buy some off grid land and build a small house
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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The hardest lesson I ever had to learn about this human condition I was born into is that, no matter what we do or who we surround ourselves with, we are always, inherently, alone.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Quote:
pixelpopper said: I get depressed often in my solitude, but honestly its not so much being alone. Its the constant realization that I can't live my life this way and that I am eventually going to have to get a job at Walmart because society has no options for dudes that are happy in solitude but lack the financial background to buy some off grid land and build a small house
IT is pretty OK at that, most of it is working on things on your own, but you do have to deal with people on a daily basis, as you would at walmart or likely any other job. Why not try the park ranger route?
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: The hardest lesson I ever had to learn about this human condition I was born into is that, no matter what we do or who we surround ourselves with, we are always, inherently, alone.
Why u gotta be like that?
I mean, you're right. I've always been blaming my loneliness on personal factors, like not being good at socializing, or social cues, just not being interesting or recently my aspergers (which I didn't know I had). But just admitting I'm likely always inherently alone is a tough lesson.
I've heard that that's why people miss the army when they leave. They don't have that camaraderie that only comes from life-risking adventure. Maybe that's why its so easy to make friends at the climbing wall.
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