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Registered: 10/25/19 Posts: 1,224 |
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Bodhi Registered: 08/16/16 Posts: 26,731 Loc: The Primordial Mind |
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Quote: Still, it’s come a long way. Long ago, those who were like you hit it and denied themselves and practiced self deception for fear of torture and death and all kinds of horrible ignorant things. Fast forward through history and you can see that gradually the human spirit triumphs in little way. Starting off like 2 spores, gradually consolidating a hold upon a substrate and then finally growing strong and emerginginto the fruiting stage. Now , in our country - although people can and do still do some horrible shit , it’s so much so less than before. Not to mention that now it’s mostly people just being disapproving or voicing their own ignorant views , but not having the power to do anything about it - not in a way that effects your life majorly. Now you can be who you wanna be, even flaunt it, whatever you want. People in general overall have become more understanding and compassionate towards gay and lesbian individuals - imagine if the majority still held such an ignorant ire towards them? Yeah. -------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Stranger Registered: 01/19/15 Posts: 2,770 Loc: South Florida Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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Quote: It's still and adjustment period for me. For the longest time I have thought it to be something wrong and immoral based on what I saw on TV and hearing people say "that's so gay". It's only recently that I'm working past all of that. -------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Shaman Registered: 05/15/11 Posts: 442 Last seen: 2 years, 9 months |
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Quote: Some of em. I'm about 20 years out, tried kissing, sucking a dick, no anal, but whatever. I tried enough to know it doesn't do anything for me. I'll still make out with a guy to turn a girl on, but it's the girl watching that turns me on. I'd probably get turned on sucking a girl's dick, dunno, haven't been with any trans women.
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floccinocci floofinator ![]() Registered: 01/08/03 Posts: 5,248 |
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Quote: I grew up in a conservative town and internalized a lot of the things I heard (including "gay" being synonymous with "bad.") What can I say, I was a sensitive guy and just thought way too fucking much. I caused so much damage in my life because I hated myself and couldn't get on with it. At the same time I was accepting of the few gay people I knew. I had a girlfriend at 22, and it was intimate but only got so far because she had her own stuff. But I was into it, or at least got aroused from the physical contact. If she didn't have issues of her own I might have ended up with her for awhile, who knows. But instead I went on to lead a self-destructive life, failing to find an adult frame of mind and never taking responsibility. When the pain became great enough I recognized that there was one thing I needed to do to get right with myself. Because only I knew who I noticed walking down the street, or who I dreamed about. That was eight years ago. All of the work I did culminated in meeting someone and, for the first time at age 36 (!) finding love. By the time love came and smacked me in the face I had believed I was incapable of it. Quote: Through my super closeted fearful life I saw straight couples holding hands out in public and believed that wasn't a reality I would ever experience. I think I was subconsciously subscribed to that delusion, until one day earlier this year. I met him at a club and we hit it off. No grindr, app, etc required. The universe put us together in the same place. Fast forward, walking about in public holding hands cause fuck all'yall and whatever you think, it's MY turn to feel good, and be with someone I want to be with, someone who wants to be with me. To think I denied myself that, because I couldn't believe. Every experience in the past 8 years since that change in life direction, prepared me to be in the right place and mind to find love naturally. Holy fuck, I have arrived. And there is light at the end of the tunnel
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Dex Registered: 06/04/16 Posts: 4,613 Loc: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Last seen: 11 months, 19 days |
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While I do wish the trans peeps would stop stealing all the bisexual girls from my wife and I... I respect the game
-------------------- Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.
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Miss Ann Thrope Registered: 03/26/12 Posts: 17,138 Loc: Lashed to the py |
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Quote: Yeah, and now that I have some sleep behind me will hopefully be able to help somewhat but do fairly understand that it may not be possible for me to properly explain the why so much as give a better comprehension of the what and how because there is not, to my knowledge, information available to the trans community as to why it happens -- the most we have right now is evidence that hormone therapy or gender affirming genital surgeries can alleviate the effects it is not "just" self conscious tho, and will come back to this in a second post discussing some of my more severe issues of dysphoria and my almost complete recovery from them as isolated examples but the ridicule and stuff makes things much worse and while not presuming you to be an actual transphobe am just going to get out in front of the bus and point out that the study that people like to quote claiming that trans women commit suicide at the same rate before and after surgery is recognized by the scientist who lead the study as being a misrepresentation of the work: Quote: Quote: https://www.transadvocate.com/fa possibly the most interesting part of the above is the relationship that is drawn to treatment of bipolar and schizophrenia having issues of increased risk of suicide and while it is not mentioned there, will make just a brief reminder that it is well known anti-depressants often increase suicidal ideations but they are still prescribed -- just their use is monitored and controlled by health professionals to try and maximize the good effects and minimize the bad and even more recent data shows that issues of suicide are strongly alleviated by having a supportive family network ![]() will come back to make a second post 'shortly,' (dunno how long typing up my rambling will take) but this just helps to recognize that at least one part of the "why" is because of broader social treatment and this is likely where some of your girlfriend's issue comes in it is important to recognize that dysmorphia and dysphoria are related but not the same thing but very much any issues of appearance are going to be exacerbated by social conditions
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Dex Registered: 06/04/16 Posts: 4,613 Loc: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Last seen: 11 months, 19 days |
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I just want a legit mff threesome again and you peeps aren't helping my cause.
-------------------- Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion. Edited by ichugwindex (04/24/20 09:41 PM)
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Miss Ann Thrope Registered: 03/26/12 Posts: 17,138 Loc: Lashed to the py |
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alright, so, being a pain in the ass about this
breaking straight into discussing the "how" of dysphoria first and formost, let's ironically talk straight cis men specifically, let's look at bodybuilders who use steroids for faster and larger gains for body builders, it is recognized as being dysmorphia rather than dysphoria: Quote: https://medical-dictionary.thefr this shows dysmorphia as more severe in its psychological effects than dysphoria also note that this is very clearly not cis men pursuing an ideal of a more feminized body but of perceptions of their own male body not being sufficiently masculine to be a good representative of the male body to be clear: working out and improving physical image and health is natural and healthy for humans it can just take really severe turns where you get guys injecting their muslces with cement mixes to look bigger and "more manly" so now for touching on dysphoria in trans women (and hopefully can at least touch on trans men, because they get under represented everywhere) ![]() let's talk about the imagery used in this comic she takes a picture of herself, and sees a photo that makes her look like she looks to us as the outside viewer dysphoria shows up, and changes how she sees the image but even after that change, we the viewer see her as a sad version of what she looked like in the first appearance of the photo, not the second so if she looks like she does and not like dysphoria tells her "he" does, why is there the issue? well, a big part of it is she knows there are social expectations of what women look like, and what men look like and as a woman, she wants to be recognized as a woman think this is not even too incomprehensible to cis men -- no cis dude particularly likes being told he needs to get off his period and man up, it is taken as an insult to question just how manly he is this also feeds back into the above mentioned issues of dysmorphia that can develop -- someone with psychological insecurities may make himself outwardly hyper masculine to stop people treating him as non-male what happens, for me, in instances like the comic portrays is I don't have a beard, I went through a year of lasers to the face to ensure that but if I don't shave for a week, will notice a hair or three of stubble poking up because laser is not perfect and my mind fixates on that, and goes "anyone who notices that is basically like seeing you with a beard" same goes for the "unfeminine" hair a bad hair day for me is not that I can't quite get it combed into place it's looking in the mirror and seeing that the structure of my facial bones and the raggedness of my hair have me looking like this fuck: ![]() as a side caveat -- noticed when trying to live a male life and presenting male that men with ponytails are basically the second most stereotyped hairstyle after the criminality associations of dreadlocks ![]() then there are the shoulders shoulder dysphoria is among some of the worst for me people assure me my shoulders are not even that broad but they feel enormous because of their relative size to my hips and the idealized image that is built into most of us born since the 80s is that of the hourglass figure for women -- and the lozenge figure for men women with big baby-feeding tits and baby-carrying hips and men with big broad shoulders for doing manly physical labour the problem of shoulder dysphoria for me is so much worse because it has to do with the body's silhouette -- one of the first subconcious prompts for how we try to classify individuals we see from a distance this is mitigated somewhat by carrying a purse in public; a visual cue that interrupts the lines of the body and is heavily gendered towards being representative of female likewise, as my transition gets further along my voice dysphoria actually gets worse because it is in my awareness that people visibly view me as a woman first, then take a shock and uncertainty in response to first hearing my voice so, shoulder dysphoria; hair dysphoria; facial hair dysphoria; voice dysphoria why the fuck isn't any of these examples "gender dysphoria"? well, they are; and you prolly did not actually pose the question to yourself because you recognized that but any one of these will typically trigger a cascade effect where all of them end up being felt and the resulting outcome is an episode of full-blown gender dysphoria -- severe discomfort with not fitting with my own(convoluted, far too societally-informed than inner-strength)view of what feminine presentation pertains to however, this is prolly a good point in this diatribe to insert a back-reference to the dna factor do not personally get "dna dysphoria"; do not think that is even a big thing, compared to trans people rolling their eyes over having recently dealt with such an argument and memeing it to the rest of us so did not per se take any offense to your earlier statements but called you out on it a bit because it cultivates a negative, and in a number of parts of the world dangerous, view of trans people and sure, as a Canadian on the Shroomery am not personally at much risk from such things but trans people through Russia and Eastern Europe have their lives endangered by such things and that was "just" starting with some white skinned folk that still do it; get outside of the Western world and it is publicly the popular thing to inflict suffering on us and other minorities but also fully recognize no one is actually attracted to dna, that would be dumb I find brunettes more attractive than blondes, and typically redheads more attractive than both but I don't look at a hot blonde and go "oh wow, she must actually be born a brunette because she's hotter than most blondes" and if meeting a brunette girl and finding out 4-6 months after the fact that she is a redhead who dyes her hair will tell her of my attraction to red heads, but never expect her to stop dyeing it if that's how she prefers to appear and likely won't start making a bunch of ginger jokes at her about how black hair can't cover up a lack of soul who knows tho, maybe on one of my future difficult trips I will shrink down to microscopic level and be trapped exploring my own strands of dna until coming to peace with it ![]() but in terms of gender dysphoria, my actual most difficult issues have been with genital dysphoria would get stuck at the toilet for an average of 15 minutes after every time of going pee just ruminating on suicide as a result of this big gross floppy thing hanging off me, reflecting on being a freak of a woman because only an extreme minority of women have penises and hated, absolutely hated awkward erections in public and around women I am attracted to felt like it made me exposed as being a man rather than a woman, and as a perverse creep unable to control sexual urges around a pretty woman despite neither of those being true -- women (even straight women) are far more likely to recognize me as a women in spite of the penis than men are and it is natural for the male organism to be aroused to the point of erection throughout the day none of my urges were prompted by kids or anything strange, so was at a worst case scenario a sex-driven man this has actually been almost entirely eliminated since going on hormone therapy tho no longer get awkward or unwanted erections -- still become 95%-100% erect when really aroused or with a partner it just takes more foreplay to get me where we are going, and no woman ever really objects to more foreplay ![]() so yeah, now am going to try to look at the above and come to a conclusion of "why" this all happens and, honestly, if having to provide an answer, would likely say it primarily comes down to social issues you may never have developed the Adonis Syndrome that other skinny ridiculed boys do, but it does happen but it is obviously a lot more complex than that and prolly coloured heavily by matters associated with individual psychology but it then becomes a question of what is healthy or not working out is physically and mentally healthy; popping large amounts of steroids or injecting muscles with cement is not transitioning with supports and professional medical input is healthy and maximizes the positive effects; the sorts of people who end up cutting their testicles off with scissors because their father beat into them that they had to grow up and continue the family line, are clearly not
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Miss Ann Thrope Registered: 03/26/12 Posts: 17,138 Loc: Lashed to the py |
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Quote: I just want to get back in touch with the girls who gave me a mff threesome in high school and convince them to try an fff at this point in their lives but they are each married to dudes now, so out the window
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Miss Ann Thrope Registered: 03/26/12 Posts: 17,138 Loc: Lashed to the py |
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Quote: ................................
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Feature not a bug Registered: 08/15/11 Posts: 25,987 Last seen: 6 hours, 21 minutes |
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Jesus. I read all that and so far get that society is the main reason? But also when you said you hate your genitals that is fucked(not that you have a penis) just the fact that it makes you feel so bad you want to die :/ but is it also a mental issue? Cos nobody has to say anything and my gf always beats herself up for no reason. As I said it has to be a hardware issue and not a software issue because I still dont get it. I'm the type of person that says fuck what others think(if it is in the context of negativity) but others like my gf get fixated on the smallest things and the reason still eludes me. So to summarize it is mainly from societies expectations and your own expectations(influenced by society)?
-------------------- Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Dex Registered: 06/04/16 Posts: 4,613 Loc: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Last seen: 11 months, 19 days |
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![]() Perhaps a trade is in order so we can both do our thing. -------------------- Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.
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splelling chceker Registered: 07/29/12 Posts: 14,244 Loc: FNQ Last seen: 3 seconds |
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Quote: Yeah, I remember. Bonkers film. Actually enjoyed it. --------------------
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Willow Trees Registered: 04/05/13 Posts: 7,800 Last seen: 3 years, 3 months |
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Everthing is cool.
We just are. This just is. Life is pretty short. So it's good to chill.
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Bodhi Registered: 08/16/16 Posts: 26,731 Loc: The Primordial Mind |
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yeah it was really pretty good. The lead actress became my ideal type of woman, regarding appearances, and I mainly ended up dating woman that had that look for several years after .
. Ahh youth. I think that actress has been in some big name movies, but she looks fairly different nowadays. Good times good times.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Miss Ann Thrope Registered: 03/26/12 Posts: 17,138 Loc: Lashed to the py |
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Quote: Think the most important take away is to recognize that some people internalize society's input a lot more than others, and a lot of this is personal psychological factos such as childhood upbringing nobody has to say anything, but your girlfriend quite probably has memory of a million little public comments, commercials with women with idealized bodies being happy, and so forth and just to be clear with regards to the above was not and am still not one of the people who found: ![]() to be in any way offensive but do recognize that messaging like that sinks into the mind and colours how we perceive ourselves and, even heavier than that, is that we can (and do) also formulate ideas that since that is what is publicly applauded, that is the minimum necessity to be taken seriously in public just like guys who think they have to look like Ahnuld to be taken seriously as someone who can do manly things
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Feature not a bug Registered: 08/15/11 Posts: 25,987 Last seen: 6 hours, 21 minutes |
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That is so crazy. Yeah and I never once thought about body builders. That kinda has me like
-------------------- Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Stranger Registered: 01/19/15 Posts: 2,770 Loc: South Florida Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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It's easy to discount it when it doesn't happen to you, just like it's easy to take for granted how smooth straight people have it than gay people.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Psychedelic Cowboy Registered: 03/31/19 Posts: 1,446 Loc: SW US Last seen: 21 hours, 15 minutes |
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Quote: Social constructs have everything to do with history. Things that actually happened. People didn't just randomly decide their traditions, rituals, laws, customs, etc. Even if it seems as such looking back in time from our current position. Ideas are usually brought forth as a solution to a problem or question. Unfortunately, much of history has been lost, destroyed, forgotten, written off as unimportant, or misrepresented through bias of the victors. We're not working with the whole picture here as you indicated. But it is no coincidence or random event that we ended up like this. The problem with believing that these things don't matter is you never see the relationship between the social constructs and how society is actually doing. If you can't identify the relationship, you can't assess how things are going and take corrective measures when things go awry. You not only don't know the real nature of the problem, but you also don't know how to fix it. I believe the root reason that being anything but hetero and having kids is a negative is that it means you aren't giving your special gift back to the society that gives you everything. It is an action that states you're only out for yourself and personal pleasures and preferences and refuse to give children back to the world -completing the circle of life and are literally shirking natural responsibilities. At the micro level of one's personal life... this may not have any perceivable negative consequences- but at the macro level there are many. Any and every single form of organized humans that ever existed have relied on men and women partnering up to make children to ensure the survival of the group since the dawn of humanity. Ranging from multinational empires all the way down to the familial level. Each and every group relies on as many people reproducing as possible. The more, the merrier. You can't build a Rome or New York or Tokyo without lots and lots of people. Can't grow and build if people aren't having more than 1 child per person on average. Deep down I think it is a natural reaction for people to feel negatively about lifestyles, actions, etc that do not contribute to this most basic need of civilizations- to grow. At the micro level, I don't give a shit what you all are putting in or on your genitals and it has had zero perceivable impact on my personal life that people exist that wander from the typical path. But at the macro level, there are real negative consequences to people feeling free to abandon hetero child-having relationships for alternatives that don't positively yield children. If nothing else, if your group isn't growing, it eventually reaches a state where more people need care than there are people to provide that care- be it healthcare, providing food, working the jobs, etc. Society is already going to have a certain number of people that don't have children for a wide variety of reasons outside their control- death, disease, infertility, miscarriage, genetic issues, low reproduction value or unable to attract a mate, infant death... the list is long. Then for it to also become socially acceptable and even encouraged in some circles to explore these alternative lifestyles that do not yield children- we're compacting the problem. If it becomes mainstream enough, it could become a serious societal problem. Then we're relying on the importation of people who don't necessarily share our collective values to make economic ends meet and our society weakens and splinters as a result. This helped lead to the fall of the old Roman Empire. Not people being gay or alt, but importing people who didn't share Roman values to bolster the society that was no longer growing enough to keep the coffers full of coin. But as we all know, it is an extremely difficult task getting people to behave on a personal level in a way that is good for the group overall, particularly today and especially if the desired behavior or action itself is difficult. We're all very connected today, but not in a tribal sense. Not in the sense that we're all on board for whatever is best for the group- for our survival. And that is a result of the fact that you can survive mostly alone today without any difficulty other than psychological issues that can develop out of isolation. So we're largely no longer concerned with survival- just pleasure, (in first world countries at least) resulting in fewer people being willing to accept real responsibilities that are good for the survival of the group (like having a family and providing food and knowledge for them). There are other ways one can contribute to society other than having kids, but no other way of contributing that has anywhere near the potential impact and reach of your DNA echoing through time. Having one child could lead to millions and billions of people contributing to the survival of humanity across the universe. Even a contribution to humanity like the invention and implementation of the internet is tiny compared to what making babies can do. Today's society also has less ammo than ever before to convince people to do this chore that is very necessary for the continuation of our respective groups- seeing as how the survival argument is weak amidst so much pleasure seeking and plenty. When people are eating hot cheetos and playing Wii golf in the air conditioning, a serious thought on survival and the merits of doing something difficult and at times unpleasant are becoming a rarity. Even for straight people, so this isn't just a qualm with alternative lifestyles. The difference is there is nothing that will fix alternative couples' inability to have biological children and raise them in a manner that will be conducive to the children growing up and living a hetero, childbearing lifestyle that continues contributing to the survival of the group. You can't deliver the entirety of the parental experience with 2 moms, 2 dads, f to m dad or m to f mom (or whatever non-traditional arrangement) in a manner that will communicate all the secrets that are supposed to be passed down from straight real male dad and straight real female mom to the children so they grow up to do the same. So sure, homosexuality is cool for homosexuals. Heterosexuality and childbearing is cool for everyone. Hopefully there are enough buffers out there to keep the abandonment of this truth from fucking our society in the ass... metaphorically. Again, no personal-life-level qualms with alternative lifestyles, but there is no getting around the fact that if you are not hetero and having kids, you are a net drain on society in the end. It is excusable if there is no choice involved, but I think people have convinced themselves and others lately that there is no choice, when for most people it is in-fact a conscious choice that rapidly becomes difficult to backpeddle on because people become so entirely submerged and intertwined in the culture of the various alternative lifestyles. And once you make the switch, you're rarely welcomed back to where you started without things being different or extremely difficult. Same way that it is difficult for some people to come out of the closet in the first place. They're so submerged in hetero culture that revealing a different self and being accepted can seem impossible or at least very difficult and stressful. And I don't think much of this will change until science reaches a point where men and women are no longer needed in the process of creating more humans and that unnatural process becomes widely embraced by society. Or perhaps we figure out how to survive and continue and prosper without growth... but just the fact that science and technology steady fractals out in ever more numerous and specialized fields... we will never run out of things for people to do, no matter how many people exist. TL;DR *Not having kids is generally bad for society and survival of the group. *Society today is losing awareness of history. *History shapes today's social constructs. *Some of today's accepted social constructs have a net drain on society. *The negative impact is not really perceivable on an individual level and therefore most people will never take the initiative to hold themselves personally responsible for the solution. *If you are mentally and physically capable of having kids, you should be hetero and make babies and do your damndest to raise them well. It was done by others to permit you your chance at life and to build everything you see around you. Now pass it down. And sorry for the essay, the coffee is really good this morning.
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