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Orange24
Stranger

Registered: 02/12/19
Posts: 214
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Finally!!!!
#26601913 - 04/15/20 01:41 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Over the last couple months I’ve slowly been working my way up with doses of mushrooms. I’ve been looking for years for ways to give me deeper insight into why I think, feel, react and respond the way I do to life. Started with 1.5g-3-3.5-5-6. I’d say the 5g trip and 6g trip were the most profound. I will say this though, if 5g is driving 100mph, 6g is like driving almost 200mpg. Barring the right set and setting 6g can be an unbelievable transformable experience. I’ve struggles with anxiety and depression for most of my life and I have never known why. Despite having all the things most people would long for I would still find myself confused as to why I was so restless and anxious all the time.
I’ve never know or understood ego death till today. Everything about me, my body, my mind, my thoughts and my carnal body completely dissolved. I became nothing and was able to non objectively observe my life from the closest most intimate seat in the house, and most important, ALL in the absence of fear.
I learned a lot about what it meant to surrender to the narrative you’ve been cast into; to allow life to just happen to you and stop trying to control every aspect. That control is a false sense we give ourselves because we’re afraid of an alternative outcome, atleast for me. I could go on and on, but today, I finally died to myself, all that was left was my breath. Eyes shut on top of a mountain, higher than anywhere in my county, caught the sunrise, sent my intent and had some tea. It’s hard to articulate as we all l know but I finally feel like I was able to let go and surrender to the story we all get to be in. More to come...but a hefty break to really learn to integrate this one is much needed.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,731
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Proud of you,
This is why we do what we do - for that, for this.
  
“ To whom was the true dharma transmitted? It was extinguished upon reaching the blind ass! “
- Zen Buddhist Suttra
Edited by The Blind Ass (04/15/20 01:59 AM)
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FrankRhizo
Interdimensional Travel Agent

Registered: 11/28/17
Posts: 295
Loc: Subterranean
Last seen: 6 months, 22 days
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You saw through the looking Glass and there's no going back. Congrats. You've opened your mind. Isn't it great to have a forum to share with like-minded people.
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Orange24
Stranger

Registered: 02/12/19
Posts: 214
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
FrankRhizo said: You saw through the looking Glass and there's no going back. Congrats. You've opened your mind. Isn't it great to have a forum to share with like-minded people.
I’d really love to be able to share this stuff in a local group of some kind; some sort of integration group where we could meet and breakdown the experience together/all the new downloaded information. However, I’m thankful there are people here who enjoy this as well and “understand” what I’m talking about.
It’s hard to articulate to someone that “my ability to think dissolved, I was just a breathing being, that’s all that was left of me” but to us it’s an incredibly beautiful experience!! It feels so good to know I don’t have to try so hard, to wrestle so hard with this need to impress or impose myself in a group setting. That my energy, my state of being and level of consciousness is enough to not only feel relaxed and separated from anxiety.
I knew what consciousness WAS, now I feel like consciousness is what I am, I’m my purest form. Man, hard to explain but I assume people here know this too. This is all new to me though and I’m still processing this dying experience I had in the most beautiful and peaceful of settings. Felt reborn in a sense.
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Turvenuija
Up shroom creek without a paddle

Registered: 11/07/18
Posts: 192
Last seen: 7 days, 11 hours
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I'm happy you made it, do you plan on increasing the dose gradually or experimenting otherwise?
Shroomery is a godsend, I often feel suffocated because society in general is still so hostile to the idea of mind altering substances and consciousness exploration. They hear "drug" and immediately label you as a person to avoid in their mind. I would also love to talk about these things with someone IRL but people with an interest in these things are very hard to find.
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CuspidCap
Stranger

Registered: 04/13/20
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Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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I wonder if given the Covid situation and many people staying at home, if this is a better time to have such a deep life-changing trip and then have to acclimate once regular life commences again. It's just a thought.
It's a great time to be able to take time and think deeply and search yourself for hours on end, but in a really different context than what we consider normal.
-------------------- "Doubt is an uncertain condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one."
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,731
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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This time period can either be used wisely, given the circumstances, or squandered. That’s all I will say.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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InfiniteDreams


Registered: 10/25/19
Posts: 1,224
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Quote:
The Blind Ass said: This time period can either be used wisely, given the circumstances, or squandered. That’s all I will say.
Of course you could say the same about any given time period.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,731
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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True, but it’s more salient now that there is a pandemic and my folks are older as well, and work in the medical field/ front lines. Time is precious, it always is, but it’s been easier to appreciate that fact now and live accordingly, rather than just know it intellectually.
Waking each day and knowing they could have been exposed at work, or somewhere is a wake up call that keeps me awake rather than drifting back to sleep like I used to do.
And knowing that my situation is also shared by a significant portion of the global population is equally as powerful as it is helpful in making the most of my brief time here, and choosing thoughts, words, and actions that I will be able to to live in comfort and ease having done so over something else that I would regret if my family or friends or I passed or became very ill.
Edited by The Blind Ass (04/15/20 12:50 PM)
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Orange24
Stranger

Registered: 02/12/19
Posts: 214
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Turvenuija said: I'm happy you made it, do you plan on increasing the dose gradually or experimenting otherwise?
Shroomery is a godsend, I often feel suffocated because society in general is still so hostile to the idea of mind altering substances and consciousness exploration. They hear "drug" and immediately label you as a person to avoid in their mind. I would also love to talk about these things with someone IRL but people with an interest in these things are very hard to find.
I felt 6g was pretty intense. From some reports I’ve seen, and again I’m new to this, up into the 8-10g range it gets crazy bizarre. My deep dive into the use of psilocybin was specifically for what I got at 6g.
In your exp, what happens beyond this point?
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Turvenuija
Up shroom creek without a paddle

Registered: 11/07/18
Posts: 192
Last seen: 7 days, 11 hours
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Quote:
Orange24 said:
Quote:
Turvenuija said: I'm happy you made it, do you plan on increasing the dose gradually or experimenting otherwise?
Shroomery is a godsend, I often feel suffocated because society in general is still so hostile to the idea of mind altering substances and consciousness exploration. They hear "drug" and immediately label you as a person to avoid in their mind. I would also love to talk about these things with someone IRL but people with an interest in these things are very hard to find.
I felt 6g was pretty intense. From some reports I’ve seen, and again I’m new to this, up into the 8-10g range it gets crazy bizarre. My deep dive into the use of psilocybin was specifically for what I got at 6g.
In your exp, what happens beyond this point?
Technically I'm pretty new to this too, I have loads of tripping experience but very little wisdom to give. I don't have experience beyond 10g but at 9,8 grams dried I could no longer convince myself that what I was experiencing was just hallucination and all in my head, I can't tell you what I saw because I forgot the details but it was devastating and... kind of amazing. For weeks after it I felt that the sober world wasn't real, that there is something much much larger beyond the universe we perceive. I've since rationalized the experience differently to myself so I can avoid the trap of believing that the magic in "magic mushrooms" is no joke. Surely it's all in our heads?
I started having some persisting visuals and I thought I had hppd, I got advice from here to take a break so I did for a few months. They're gone now and I'm back to growing mushrooms. Interestingly my dreams have become more lucid and wacky, they used to be super boring or I didn't remember much about them. Seriously, be careful with going higher in dose but you're free to do it if you think you can. It turned my entire belief system on it's head, for good and maybe for bad. I've seen some people swear they will not go over 10g ever again, I need to find out why personally even if that might not be the smart thing to do.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Well no, it actually isn't "all in your head".
I suspect this is by far the hardest thing to realize, though once you accept it it explains so much.
The problem with recall from high dosage trips that open up these realms, IME, is mostly fixed by spending enough time there to become familiar with how it all presents. Trying to describe it to somebody who hasn't experienced it is mostly fruitless though.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Turvenuija
Up shroom creek without a paddle

Registered: 11/07/18
Posts: 192
Last seen: 7 days, 11 hours
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During trips the realization comes very easily, there's either accepting it or falling into desperate denial which I imagine wouldn't be fun during a heavy trip. It's so hard to accept after the fact when the oh so wise rational, sober brain is back in control.
The way I rationalized it during my break is this: Our perceived reality is always the brain's best effort to piece together a flawed picture of actual reality based on sensory input, past experience and loads of bias. I read somewhere it's called a reality tunnel. What if psychedelics mess up the brain's ability to do that and perceived reality changes completely? These otherworldly realms and other surreal experiences become a reality that's just as convincing as sober reality, if not more? The actual reality outside the brain can be just about anything but it has nothing to do with what the psychedelic is making the brain see as real.
During trips that rationalization seems stupid and it immediately goes out the window when the aliens come knocking again so I'm a bit torn in two on this one
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