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OfflineGrapefruit
Freak in the forest
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Friends and family * 2
    #26602645 - 04/15/20 10:48 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

It's in our cards as people that when we find others who seem like friends or allies, then by blood or no we build bonds with them.

My question is how much value do you see in those bonds? Society is always telling us about the perils of loneliness and the suggestion tends to be that we should do what we can in avoidance of it. To me it seems that dealing with loneliness is frequently easier than dealing with the troubles that come with attachment.


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Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. 

"Chat your fraff
Chat your fraff
Just chat your fraff
Chat your fraff"


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Offlinethealienthatategod
retrovertigo
Female

Registered: 10/10/17
Posts: 2,642
Last seen: 4 months, 20 days
Re: Friends and family [Re: Grapefruit]
    #26602748 - 04/15/20 11:31 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

situational loneliness can be treated as an illness, and in that case, time will be spent searching for a cure, or one can be comfortable in the situation and humor and create life as they please.  i prefer loneliness as i am very selfish, and selfishly, i am most happy when the adventures i have of are of my own choosing.  in loneliness, there is no one to say no. 

YET, there is such a thing as too much self-sufficiency.  it seems to me it's a very delicate balance.  humans need to cultivate their own curiosities and serenity, but meaningful relationships are also wonderful when they can be cut loose from waves of entangling debris and freed from imposed boundaries.

i find the most joy in having random conversations with complete strangers, which probably says a lot about how i actually feel about loneliness and meaningful relationships.


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InvisibleRahz
Alive Again
Male


Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
Re: Friends and family [Re: thealienthatategod]
    #26602808 - 04/15/20 12:00 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Not all attachment bonds come with a lot of trouble. And for those that do, there are lessons to be learned that can't be learned alone.

Ultimately, taking worldly advice for such an intimate matter seems to require a certain amount of numbness to one's own needs.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleYellow Pants
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 1,386
Loc: Flag
Re: Friends and family [Re: thealienthatategod]
    #26603355 - 04/15/20 04:03 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

thealienthatategod said:
situational loneliness can be treated as an illness, and in that case, time will be spent searching for a cure, or one can be comfortable in the situation and humor and create life as they please.  i prefer loneliness as i am very selfish, and selfishly, i am most happy when the adventures i have of are of my own choosing.  in loneliness, there is no one to say no. 

YET, there is such a thing as too much self-sufficiency.  it seems to me it's a very delicate balance.  humans need to cultivate their own curiosities and serenity, but meaningful relationships are also wonderful when they can be cut loose from waves of entangling debris and freed from imposed boundaries.

i find the most joy in having random conversations with complete strangers, which probably says a lot about how i actually feel about loneliness and meaningful relationships.




:werd:
When alone it seems easier to cure a illness like a mental/emotional one as opposed to being with people all the time.  It works better to self examine and get to the root of the self issue.


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OfflineWASTE

Registered: 12/15/19
Posts: 114
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 days, 8 hours
Re: Friends and family [Re: Yellow Pants]
    #26604102 - 04/15/20 08:56 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I feel that solitude is more culturally demonized than its flip side. I can't even think of a word to describe the state of constantly being around other humans, but I've met plenty of people that absolutely despise being alone. Usually they recognize that being alone causes them to dwell on daunting thoughts, but have no recourse to work through them.

Maybe I have a personal bias being a person who really values alone time, but I think we should strive to feel comfortable in both settings. I see it as a matter of maximizing pleasure - theres a lot of good that I get from being with people that I can't get alone and vice versa. It's probably a bad thing to avoid solitude/social interaction out of fear rather than by choice.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Friends and family [Re: Rahz]
    #26605817 - 04/16/20 12:57 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Rahz said:
Not all attachment bonds come with a lot of trouble. And for those that do, there are lessons to be learned that can't be learned alone.



I have very, very, very little trouble that comes from my attachments with people; and being a truly social creature, I have many.

If anything, I would say that to have them is the biggest source of inspiration/motivation to become a better person.

I can't see why one would not just stagnate over time if one had no reason to adjust ones behaviours.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineGrapefruit
Freak in the forest
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Friends and family [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26606036 - 04/16/20 03:01 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I think it takes quite a bit of effort to keep relations suspended in the modern ether, maybe once it was not a problem, but these days it seems to be just another manner by which you can fritter away energy uselessly. I tend to feel better just focusing on the world in front of me. Besides which it's always felt a bit false to me to express a preference for one human over another, even when you feel like you have strong bonds, it just is what it is no need to say anything over it. Holding onto friendship feels just as ridiculous as holding onto enmity, I'm not sure there can be anything to learn from doing so. Why not just let go of it and take more of an interest in the next person you meet?


--------------------
Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. 

"Chat your fraff
Chat your fraff
Just chat your fraff
Chat your fraff"


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Invisibleblackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
Re: Friends and family [Re: Grapefruit]
    #26608370 - 04/17/20 03:11 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Grapefruit said:
...To me it seems that dealing with loneliness is frequently easier than dealing with the troubles that come with attachment.




Definitely easier. Unless you attach yourself to someone worthwhile.


--------------------








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InvisibleRahz
Alive Again
Male


Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
Re: Friends and family [Re: blackdragon999]
    #26608513 - 04/17/20 04:18 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Easy is not necessarily better.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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OfflineInnerWisdom
Male


Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 days, 10 hours
Re: Friends and family [Re: Rahz]
    #26628618 - 04/26/20 01:27 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:whathesaid:

People are usually social beings who need to be connected to others in some form or way. True loneliness never ends in anything good for that person I don't think, unless it is completely voluntary. I can only speak for myself and most people I know, but having people in our lives that we love leads to a spiritual wellbeing, although they may cause grief and empathic suffering.


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Friends and family [Re: Grapefruit]
    #26628628 - 04/26/20 01:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Grapefruit said:
It's in our cards as people that when we find others who seem like friends or allies, then by blood or no we build bonds with them.

My question is how much value do you see in those bonds? Society is always telling us about the perils of loneliness and the suggestion tends to be that we should do what we can in avoidance of it. To me it seems that dealing with loneliness is frequently easier than dealing with the troubles that come with attachment.





The bonds of brotherhood and family and loved ones are by far the most valuable commodity in this world, and a true spiritual brother or sister is worth the entire world.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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