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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Mid Life Crisis 1
#26596017 - 04/12/20 03:35 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Be me.
Have a good job and get to travel the world and live on various continents with disposable time and income.
Have a beautiful loving wife with no marriage problems to speak of.
Have good health and a few good friends around.
Own multiple homes and have a stable retirement sufficient to retire comfortably 30 years early if you so choose.
...
The bottom line is the unhappiness. I am only half way though my life and I don't feel like anything is challenging anymore and I am feeling like I have lost all inspiration and drive that I had when I was younger. Everything that I have ever set out to do in my life seems like it has been accomplished already.
In all reality I would just like to quit my job and become a web developer. It sucks to say that success is very bad for me...because I have lost all my ideas, imagination and drive. I've been trying for years to think of great ideas for something to do online and even purchased a domain which now sits dormant like a blank piece of paper and I feel pathetic.
I'm an intermediate level programmer even though it has never been my profession. The internet has changed so much that I'm not even sure how to proceed. This is one of the communities that has survived quite a long time but I feel like it's mostly people my age and older on here.
I am clueless, I feel old and tired, and I don't understand the world anymore. I don't care about making money and sometimes wish I was dirt poor again living in an tiny apartment with nothing to my name. Maybe I just need to start spending more time here on The Shroomery.
Tell me what the internet is missing and perhaps I can make it a reality. Your thoughts/opinions are much appreciated.
Inspire me to do something except sit here and wait to die.
Thank you.
  
Edited by blackdragon999 (04/12/20 03:51 PM)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 1 second
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learn a language. Then go to the country of said language and experience their culture. eat ome mushrooms
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: learn a language. Then go to the country of said language and experience their culture. eat ome mushrooms 
I did that 10 years ago, and I ended up staying.
The only languages I am interested at this point are Python, Java, PHP, and C++
--------------------

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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,471
Last seen: 1 hour, 52 minutes
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You need people to talk,share and vent with so in ways this place is a great source of people who care. Share life experience, story and eventually friendships here or anyehere.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,471
Last seen: 1 hour, 52 minutes
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Also you have a challenge right now in being able to stay positive and finding a way to be happier. There's productive things to do talk to us here and use the internet and YouTube to find therapy in maybe meditation, psychedelic etc.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 1 second
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Nah you only need yourself. People die and some people are left with themselves. Anyway the mind is infinite. Then start learning those languages man buy some books and just do it
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
Seriously_trippin said: ...use the internet and YouTube to find therapy in maybe meditation, psychedelic etc.
That is surely the story of the past many years. My ultimate resource at this point is fresh ideas. This forum seems to have a people with a higher caliber of enlightenment and wisdom (don't laugh) than most places on the internet these days.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Nah you only need yourself. People die and some people are left with themselves. Anyway the mind is infinite. Then start learning those languages man buy some books and just do it 
The languages are not an obstacle. I just need a clear vision. The internet sucks so badly nowadays so I know there is something to be done about that. It's only a matter of time.
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Northerner
splelling chceker


Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,141
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 39 minutes, 56 seconds
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Plant trees. Leave something behind that is greater than the sum of everything you have done and brings life. In hundreds of years those trees and their offspring will still be bringing life and joy to humans and creatures alike.
I'm also middle age, financially secure, happy family, yada, yada... I feel you man.
I started conservation work a few years ago. There are things you can do that can make a difference, give you the purpose you seek. I don't think you'll find them on the internet though.
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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
Northerner said: Plant trees. Leave something behind that is greater than the sum of everything you have done and brings life. In hundreds of years those trees and their offspring will still be bringing life and joy to humans and creatures alike.
I'm also middle age, financially secure, happy family, yada, yada... I feel you man.
I started conservation work a few years ago. There are things you can do that can make a difference, give you the purpose you seek. I don't think you'll find them on the internet though.
Ironically I did plant some trees some time ago but I'm never home to care much about them. I feel like I have something greater to contribute...but apparently not. I've become my disappointed uncle and my drunk grandfather all in one.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Just appreciate being alive. Find value in just being.
--------------------
Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: zZZz] 1
#26596130 - 04/12/20 04:35 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said:

Thanks bro.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Amanita86] 1
#26596138 - 04/12/20 04:38 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Amanita86 said: Just appreciate being alive. Find value in just being.
That's what sucks...I've got nothing but time to think about it because I've been stuck in this hotel for about 2 months now...waiting for this Covid to clear up so that I can fly out, many countries (including the one I'm trying to get to) have closed their borders...lots of time to sit and think.
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openmind
curious


Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 13,866
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: Be me.
Have a good job and get to travel the world and live on various continents with disposable time and income.
Have a beautiful loving wife with no marriage problems to speak of.
Have good health and a few good friends around.
Own multiple homes and have a stable retirement sufficient to retire comfortably 30 years early if you so choose.
...
Sounds rough

-OM
.
--------------------
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Northerner
splelling chceker


Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,141
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 39 minutes, 56 seconds
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Sorry to hear you're locked down. Lots of people need the fucking huge wake up call that this turmoil is bringing.
Trees in a back yard are little more than natural ornaments. Though they will grow and give happiness too. In 50 years children will play under those trees you planted, build swings off their branches, carve their latest crushes name into the bark with a pen knife, and the tree will continue to grow. Life will be in it's branches and flow from it's leaves. Though one day same fool will decide it is too big for a back yard and cut it down.
What is greater than the gift of life and happiness? A website? How is a website going to make anyone's life any better? Sell more shit to them? Bring some sort of comfort or happiness to them? There's very few parts of the internet designed to do anything but make money. By the sounds of it you've already got enough money so that seems like a pretty futile act.
Planting a tree and walking away is one thing. But continuing to plant trees in areas that need them, and doing it again and again, then going back a few years later and seeing that the trees you planted are now 5 feet tall, knowing that in a few years the trees you are now planting are will be that big, that in 20 years those trees will tower above your head and be teeming with life. It's a sort of satisfaction that sits deep in your soul.
Working with a conservation group that is established really helps. I've visited areas my group visited 25 years ago, I have seen the difference these actions will make. Life is all about delayed gratification as you well know. Conservation work is just a different sort of delayed gratification. It's menial and quiet, it forces you to be alone with nature. It forces you to think deeper. Faith in the outcomes of your actions without ever truly being able to see them to their full potential is required.
You can take everything from a man but his beliefs.
Just throwing it out there. Other people have gone and sat on a mountain for a year until they sort this out, others just fall deeper into the trap of trying to make their fictitious numbers bigger and bigger.
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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: openmind]
#26596186 - 04/12/20 04:57 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
openmind said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: Be me.
Have a good job and get to travel the world and live on various continents with disposable time and income.
Have a beautiful loving wife with no marriage problems to speak of.
Have good health and a few good friends around.
Own multiple homes and have a stable retirement sufficient to retire comfortably 30 years early if you so choose.
...
Sounds rough

-OM
.
If you ever get to that point...you will understand.
--------------------

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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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I think you need a fast red convertible and a girlfriend half your age 
Perhaps buy a motorcycle and join one of those clubs where they give you leather jackets with skulls on them
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
Northerner said: Sorry to hear you're locked down. Lots of people need the fucking huge wake up call that this turmoil is bringing.
Trees in a back yard are little more than natural ornaments. Though they will grow and give happiness too. In 50 years children will play under those trees you planted, build swings off their branches, carve their latest crushes name into the bark with a pen knife, and the tree will continue to grow. Life will be in it's branches and flow from it's leaves. Though one day same fool will decide it is too big for a back yard and cut it down.
What is greater than the gift of life and happiness? A website? How is a website going to make anyone's life any better? Sell more shit to them? Bring some sort of comfort or happiness to them? There's very few parts of the internet designed to do anything but make money. By the sounds of it you've already got enough money so that seems like a pretty futile act.
Planting a tree and walking away is one thing. But continuing to plant trees in areas that need them, and doing it again and again, then going back a few years later and seeing that the trees you planted are now 5 feet tall, knowing that in a few years the trees you are now planting are will be that big, that in 20 years those trees will tower above your head and be teeming with life. It's a sort of satisfaction that sits deep in your soul.
Working with a conservation group that is established really helps. I've visited areas my group visited 25 years ago, I have seen the difference these actions will make. Life is all about delayed gratification as you well know. Conservation work is just a different sort of delayed gratification. It's menial and quiet, it forces you to be alone with nature. It forces you to think deeper. Faith in the outcomes of your actions without ever truly being able to see them to their full potential is required.
You can take everything from a man but his beliefs.
Just throwing it out there. Other people have gone and sat on a mountain for a year until they sort this out, others just fall deeper into the trap of trying to make their fictitious numbers bigger and bigger.
I would like to get away from everything but I just end up feeling restless in nature. Hard to relax and slow down.
--------------------

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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
Tripsurfer said: I think you need a fast red convertible and a girlfriend half your age 
Perhaps buy a motorcycle and join one of those clubs where they give you leather jackets with skulls on them
I live in a place where every girl is half my age and every vehicle is a motorcycle. Maybe if I grow a mustache and have all those things...I can be a real 80's man.
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Asclepius
Human Being



Registered: 01/09/18
Posts: 2,209
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If you truly don't care about making money, and have enough of it set aside to provide a good life for your family, you know what you must do -- the answer is inside of you! Chase your passions to create something new with coding langauges. Search for what you think the internet is lacking, some unique service that no one else has thought to provide. Allow yourself to be the real you.
Brother, most of us work shit jobs for meager wages because we have no choice. It's hard to chase one's passions when worrying about putting food on the table. If you don't share in these worries, what's stopping you is the only question you should be asking yourself. The only roadblock is you getting in the way of yourself.
-------------------- A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive
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Northerner
splelling chceker


Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,141
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 39 minutes, 56 seconds
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I would like to get away from everything but I just end up feeling restless in nature. Hard to relax and slow down.
Now you are getting closer to the core of the issue.
This is why men sit on a mountain for a year, to learn to be alone and calm again.
Quit media, don't Facebook or WhatsApp, definitely don't watch the news, don't watch commercial television. Everything will keep going, even if you don't watch or listen. Much of it is lies and emotional manipulation anyway. Stop being a slave to the noise. It is designed to addict you and instill fear, literally.
There is nothing anyone can tell or give you that will bring inner peace. It's you, only you. The answer is a resolution more than an action. Your actions though will give you the headspace to whether or not you can find that resolution. Many men don't though. They just fill their lives with more things, fast cars, fast women, more toys, more money, more websites, more media, and avoid, avoid, avoid the frank realities of being alone with themselves.
My solution of planting trees is something that works for me, it may not be the thing that is good for you. But your connection to life, death, and this world without all it's trimmings is incontrovertible. You're just an animal on this planet, possibly even with a soul or spirit.
--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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budmanman
OTD Masterbater



Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
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Give me some money, I lost my job cause of the virus and owe 140k on and its stressing me out. Giving me the money will make you happy, says so somewhere in the bible.
-------------------- Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal. And I am mentally unstable.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 1 second
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: budmanman] 1
#26596496 - 04/12/20 07:27 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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No vision? What do you want out of life? Because only you can answer that one
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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MycQueen
Benevolent Monarch of Agaricales



Registered: 12/27/19
Posts: 105
Loc:
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Hey dragon, sorry to hear you feel stuck and literally are right now. Maybe you're just homesick, missing your wife, family & nice homes. Maybe you just need some quality time. Go away with your wife when you get home, some place special to you both to rekindle the flames of passion for life. Maybe you are exactly where you need to be right now, so you can have some time alone far from your familiar surroundings, chatting with us Shroomery folk to think up the next big thing! Sometimes life gets in the way of our dreams and we get so busy trying to put food on the table or achieve the next goal, we forget what once brought us joy and laughter. Sometimes the more stuff we acquire along the way, the more we loose ourselves. Spend at least a few hours tonight & think back to when you were a kid, teenager or young adult back in that apartment... what were the things you liked, wished or dreamed you'd like to do, be or existed? Did you ever think 'wow it'd be cool if this was a thing or if they made that'? I can bet you are not the only person feeling this way. If a friend came to you with the exact problem you now have, how would you help them, what would you recommend? That same answer maybe just what you need or the seed idea for your next project. If that doesn't work, take a shroom trip & ask the mushrooms what they'd have you do with your language skills for the internet and the world... it worked for Terrance McKenna.
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brk
Unless...



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 10,210
Loc: SA
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: MycQueen] 1
#26597102 - 04/13/20 02:01 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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It didn't work for Rizohunter....
-------------------- "To the young it gives a vision of the dead and gone. While the old receive a passion to survive, and the pattern picks the pockets of the palindrome, before the oscillating rhythm takes to flight..." - Rishloo

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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,471
Last seen: 1 hour, 52 minutes
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: brk]
#26597128 - 04/13/20 02:31 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
brk said: It didn't work for Rizohunter.... 
Miss that guy for whatever reason. Not the dancing though.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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HappySloth



Registered: 01/24/19
Posts: 280
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Hi fren,
The nature of the mind is that it always wants more.
It is always seeking the next "thing" or "lover" to fulfill it.
The sense of happiness from this is fleeting and does not last. As soon as one thing is gained, you will need another.
The mind always wants to add more.
Go now and sit on a bench and look at te view. See how long you can spend there before your mind starts to tell you that you need more, maybe a drink or some food, maybe talk to someone or a friend... but its just never enough to satisfy and make us happy.
This is the nature of the human mind and what we are all learning to tame.
I want you to try this. Try paying much more attention to your quality of thought.
Are you trying to add more? Then try this stop thinking about that and start thinking about the things that you are grateful for?
Its very difficult to be grateful for what you have and be unhappy because you want more.
The mind is strange thing. True happiness and true contentness actuially comes from peace.
Peace can be learnt by meditation. It can be learnt by sitting on the bench and practicing watching your mind. Every time the thought or urge to add more comes, I want you to stop thinking about that and either clear your mind completely by remaining in the present moment and enjpoying the view or concentatng on thoughts about being humble and grateful for everything you have!
This is training for your mind. Training for PEACE OF MIND. Which is where true happiness comes from!
The more we practice this the more the mind learns it cannot just keep trying to gain these temporary moments of happiness and a much deeper peace arises, from this grows true happiness, true contentness and joy for life.
I'll try and help or explain further if needed
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 4 hours
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You're perfect, yes, it's true!
But without me, you're only you...
--------------------
  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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HappySloth



Registered: 01/24/19
Posts: 280
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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The crisis is essentially the realisation that constantly seeking more only produces a temporary dopamine hit not happiness.
Happiness actually arises from peace of mind. It is quite a skill.
Its in fact the exact opposite of what most people have been trained to and are trying to do...
Most people seek a temp hit of dopamine from aquiring a new object. This isn't happiness.
True happiness arises from the peace of being content with what is. Be here now.
When you've learnt peace then a true joy for all life emerges.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
budmanman said: Give me some money, I lost my job cause of the virus and owe 140k on and its stressing me out. Giving me the money will make you happy, says so somewhere in the bible.
I'm sorry to hear about your job. A lot of people are struggling right now. Hopefully you can get back to work soon.
--------------------

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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
Asclepius said: If you truly don't care about making money, and have enough of it set aside to provide a good life for your family, you know what you must do -- the answer is inside of you! Chase your passions to create something new with coding langauges. Search for what you think the internet is lacking, some unique service that no one else has thought to provide. Allow yourself to be the real you.
Brother, most of us work shit jobs for meager wages because we have no choice. It's hard to chase one's passions when worrying about putting food on the table. If you don't share in these worries, what's stopping you is the only question you should be asking yourself. The only roadblock is you getting in the way of yourself.
You are right about that. There is a point when it's hard to see who you really are if you cover yourself in distractions.
--------------------

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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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ummmm, if those are your achievements in the 1st post, just sit back and enjoy it! I WISH I was in that position. I fucking hate working because I have to, but at least I have a great job. Hopefully in a few more years the hubby and I will retire. Then it's travelling some and just enjoying life. I'd retire right this very minute if I could. If I'm vegging in front of a TV, so fucking what? I earned that right. I love just sitting and doing nothing. BUT, I have been working since I was 12yo, and grew up poor.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
Northerner said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I would like to get away from everything but I just end up feeling restless in nature. Hard to relax and slow down.
Now you are getting closer to the core of the issue.
This is why men sit on a mountain for a year, to learn to be alone and calm again.
Quit media, don't Facebook or WhatsApp, definitely don't watch the news, don't watch commercial television. Everything will keep going, even if you don't watch or listen. Much of it is lies and emotional manipulation anyway. Stop being a slave to the noise. It is designed to addict you and instill fear, literally.
There is nothing anyone can tell or give you that will bring inner peace. It's you, only you. The answer is a resolution more than an action. Your actions though will give you the headspace to whether or not you can find that resolution. Many men don't though. They just fill their lives with more things, fast cars, fast women, more toys, more money, more websites, more media, and avoid, avoid, avoid the frank realities of being alone with themselves.
My solution of planting trees is something that works for me, it may not be the thing that is good for you. But your connection to life, death, and this world without all it's trimmings is incontrovertible. You're just an animal on this planet, possibly even with a soul or spirit.
I posted before I read the whole thread, I love this post!
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
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That is a phenomenal post.
The going off to be alone part particularly -- that resonates with me so much. Just shutting the world off and going away to a cabin in the mountains somewhere in northwestern Wyoming. Or Colorado or Montana. Maybe New Mexico. No cable. God I'd like to abandon the internet too.
No more hearing/seeing these politically obsessed liberal and conservative freaks cry all day about politicians. No more rush hour traffic surrounded by an ocean of unhappy people. No more massive corporations begging telling me I need their product at every turn. Shit I'd like to smash this stupid smart phone too that I always got my face buried in. No more wasting my time watching completely meaningless sports like I've done so much of life. No more stupid petty drama and fake people who sit around judging everyone.
Just the quiet of the mountain and nature. I swear I daydream about that lifestyle all the time now.
Once upon a time I hated the idea of living out somewhere remote and rural. Now I fantasize about it. I loathe the city life now. I've been in the city virtually my entire life and I'm to the point where I despise it at this point. So many awful human beings. It's loud. It's dirty. It's crime ridden.
One day, man. One day.
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla] 1
#26598055 - 04/13/20 01:30 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I like both actually (city and country), mostly a city person though. I know what you mean though. BUT, YOU can turn off some of those things, sooooo...
This is pretty spectacular though. We are VERY lucky!
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
This is pretty spectacular though. We are VERY lucky!

--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla] 1
#26598073 - 04/13/20 01:34 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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You could visit you know....
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla] 1
#26598126 - 04/13/20 01:59 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said: That is a phenomenal post.
The going off to be alone part particularly -- that resonates with me so much. Just shutting the world off and going away to a cabin in the mountains somewhere in northwestern Wyoming. Or Colorado or Montana. Maybe New Mexico. No cable. God I'd like to abandon the internet too.
No more hearing/seeing these politically obsessed liberal and conservative freaks cry all day about politicians. No more rush hour traffic surrounded by an ocean of unhappy people. No more massive corporations begging telling me I need their product at every turn. Shit I'd like to smash this stupid smart phone too that I always got my face buried in. No more wasting my time watching completely meaningless sports like I've done so much of life. No more stupid petty drama and fake people who sit around judging everyone.
Just the quiet of the mountain and nature. I swear I daydream about that lifestyle all the time now.
Once upon a time I hated the idea of living out somewhere remote and rural. Now I fantasize about it. I loathe the city life now. I've been in the city virtually my entire life and I'm to the point where I despise it at this point. So many awful human beings. It's loud. It's dirty. It's crime ridden.
One day, man. One day.
Same. It gets a bit lonely. Not like the city though. It makes me very lonely to be around all of those people. This quatrain stuff has me feeling less lonely then i did before.
It's very strange. Right before it happend all I seen were couples everywhere.
It didn't make me feel jealous. I was happy to see them. I wish them well.
wasnt just one or two literally everyone everywhere. It just made me feel like a bit of a loser. It's something I've never accomplished. I was close though. The only people I was close with, they just wanted me to drive them places.
Edited by watermelon mon (04/13/20 02:05 PM)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
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I'd drive you places
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Thanks man. You too.
I've been talking to over 100 chicks on the internet. From a bunch of different countries.
Just small talk. It's fun. I just tell them positive things. Nothing too much.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Wont do anything stupid.
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Mudbrain
Stranger

Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 32
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If you were a painter, it would sound like you're having a bit of a block. You were saying you'd like to be a web designer, so I'd challenge you to making some websites, three or so a day, for two weeks. Maybe something with a minimum of three pages at least. Try different formats of website, different kinds. Try WordPress vs straight HTML/css vs Dreamweaver etc.
They could be on/of anything, and at first, yeah they'll be stupid as hell, things you throw together just to make the quota, but by the time you're in your second week doing this, your subconscious will have come forward to give you some better guidance on what you want/need right now.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear when you overload your creativity with a "quality doesn't matter, only quantity" it frees your creative self from the pressure of being "good" or "worthwhile." The trick is to push quantity a to where it's almost un-doable; if you can make 3 websites a day no problem, then up the daily quota to where it puts enough pressure on you that you're having to push to meet that deadline.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26599378 - 04/14/20 01:13 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mudbrain said: If you were a painter, it would sound like you're having a bit of a block. You were saying you'd like to be a web designer, so I'd challenge you to making some websites, three or so a day, for two weeks. Maybe something with a minimum of three pages at least. Try different formats of website, different kinds. Try WordPress vs straight HTML/css vs Dreamweaver etc.
They could be on/of anything, and at first, yeah they'll be stupid as hell, things you throw together just to make the quota, but by the time you're in your second week doing this, your subconscious will have come forward to give you some better guidance on what you want/need right now.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear when you overload your creativity with a "quality doesn't matter, only quantity" it frees your creative self from the pressure of being "good" or "worthwhile." The trick is to push quantity a to where it's almost un-doable; if you can make 3 websites a day no problem, then up the daily quota to where it puts enough pressure on you that you're having to push to meet that deadline.
I feel like I have enough pressure at my actual job and it would probably ruin my interest in coding...I would just end up wanting to kick babies at the end of the first week. I'd also rather catch Covid-19 than use WordPress. I do understand in a sense what you are saying though,thank you. I have been locked in my room thinking too much.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26599390 - 04/14/20 01:34 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said: That is a phenomenal post.
The going off to be alone part particularly -- that resonates with me so much. Just shutting the world off and going away to a cabin in the mountains somewhere in northwestern Wyoming. Or Colorado or Montana. Maybe New Mexico. No cable. God I'd like to abandon the internet too.
No more hearing/seeing these politically obsessed liberal and conservative freaks cry all day about politicians. No more rush hour traffic surrounded by an ocean of unhappy people. No more massive corporations begging telling me I need their product at every turn. Shit I'd like to smash this stupid smart phone too that I always got my face buried in. No more wasting my time watching completely meaningless sports like I've done so much of life. No more stupid petty drama and fake people who sit around judging everyone.
Just the quiet of the mountain and nature. I swear I daydream about that lifestyle all the time now.
Once upon a time I hated the idea of living out somewhere remote and rural. Now I fantasize about it. I loathe the city life now. I've been in the city virtually my entire life and I'm to the point where I despise it at this point. So many awful human beings. It's loud. It's dirty. It's crime ridden.
One day, man. One day.
I raised in Montana...and I have a lingering fear of small towns after watching everyone I grew up destroy their lives after realizing that it was probably to much effort and risky to wander too far away from their home town, it seems like an excellent place to be if you are very young or very old. My parents are boomers that live in a quiet little small town and have had their home burglarized multiple times and have had windows smashed in their vehicles in the past few years. You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: ummmm, if those are your achievements in the 1st post, just sit back and enjoy it! I WISH I was in that position. I fucking hate working because I have to, but at least I have a great job. Hopefully in a few more years the hubby and I will retire. Then it's travelling some and just enjoying life. I'd retire right this very minute if I could. If I'm vegging in front of a TV, so fucking what? I earned that right. I love just sitting and doing nothing. BUT, I have been working since I was 12yo, and grew up poor.
I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
Ummm for 2 years plus I lived in Wyoming on a work transfer and not once did I have to Rambo it out with rural wandering rogue bloodthirsty meth heads
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HappyHigh
Stranger

Registered: 05/05/17
Posts: 892
Last seen: 2 days, 4 hours
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26599581 - 04/14/20 05:47 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think you have a issue achieving your goals too easily. You seem to be well off mentally and physically. If there is something you can't accomplish on your own you have the money to pay some one to do it. Maybe try a hobby WAY outside your means. I was the same way in life for many years felt like nothing really mattered no matter how good or bad things where i was in same spot mentally. I started working on cars that got easy so moved to the motors that's kept me gong 6 years. always a new part or something i could upgrade even if it's replacing something i upgraded 4 times, on cars there is never a limit but money.
-------------------- Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
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Blu Spore


Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 1,320
Loc: Canada
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It will not matter whether we live in the city or in the country side; if our mind is restless for achievement and results than we won't find peace. It won't solve anything to just move away because the restlessness will follow.
It could be some sort of meditation practice or spiritual practice that could help. You know, working on the inner being or some shit But how one goes about this is a personal thing, feel around until something resonates with you. The mind will often protest when you begin a practice like this. It will resist and say "this is stupid" "what a waste of time" "these people are clueless flakes" (this could be if you doing some group practice). This voice is often part of the root of the problem. Identification with achievements, status, doing, craving ect....
Might be hard to find a teacher or group you gel with, I finally found a good group which I like. Not pretentious or weird or anything. For famous teachers I quite like Eckhart Tolle. Good luck to you!
And I agree with the other poster planting trees is very rewarding but again this is a personal thing.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said:
Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: ummmm, if those are your achievements in the 1st post, just sit back and enjoy it! I WISH I was in that position. I fucking hate working because I have to, but at least I have a great job. Hopefully in a few more years the hubby and I will retire. Then it's travelling some and just enjoying life. I'd retire right this very minute if I could. If I'm vegging in front of a TV, so fucking what? I earned that right. I love just sitting and doing nothing. BUT, I have been working since I was 12yo, and grew up poor.
I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
I didn't get an arrogant feel from your post. I was posting how I felt about those achievements. Coming form a poor background has made me feel and act a certain way pertaining to wealth and such. I do see a lot of people who are monetarily set, but mentally and in relationships they are fucked up. Money can't buy happiness, but it can help one find it. Plus it makes life easier in a lot of ways. Good luck to you and I hope you find your inner peace.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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OP. Have you tried just enjoying the moment? Don't think about the past or future YOU ARE ALIVE. Really sit back and appreciate existence. At the end of the day goals dont matter. You can do everything you set out to do but happiness can only come from within. (Its funny cos someone used to tell me that growing up and I thought they were full of shit but lately I'm starting to think they were on to something)
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Blu Spore said: It will not matter whether we live in the city or in the country side; if our mind is restless for achievement and results than we won't find peace. It won't solve anything to just move away because the restlessness will follow.
It could be some sort of meditation practice or spiritual practice that could help. You know, working on the inner being or some shit But how one goes about this is a personal thing, feel around until something resonates with you. The mind will often protest when you begin a practice like this. It will resist and say "this is stupid" "what a waste of time" "these people are clueless flakes" (this could be if you doing some group practice). This voice is often part of the root of the problem. Identification with achievements, status, doing, craving ect....
Might be hard to find a teacher or group you gel with, I finally found a good group which I like. Not pretentious or weird or anything. For famous teachers I quite like Eckhart Tolle. Good luck to you!
And I agree with the other poster planting trees is very rewarding but again this is a personal thing.
I think it's more a case of how you treat the goals. Usually striving for achievement is to compensate for a perceived inferiority. Often times we are concerned with the outcome of our deeds rather than the doing.
Meditation won't solve the issue, and in some cases can make it worse. There's nothing wrong with "craving" or wanting to do things but it helps to ask WHY you want to do that. Is it because it's something you like (for me it's going to Butterfly World) or because of someone saying you ought to or to prove something (me studying accounting for example).
This probably explains it better than I can: https://zenpencils.com/comic/hiphop/
In short the problem is that most people tend to be outcome focused and forget to enjoy the process. Achievement is nice but it's hollow if that's all you care about.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
Edited by Thanatos10 (04/14/20 11:46 AM)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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you have to create your own happiness.
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said:
you have to create your own happiness.
Something like that but that comic really changed my perspective. It made me question why I was doing things and how long had it been since I did something just because I liked it and nothing else. Alan Watts said the same thing: https://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
spirit_shadow said:
you have to create your own happiness.
Something like that but that comic really changed my perspective. It made me question why I was doing things and how long had it been since I did something just because I liked it and nothing else. Alan Watts said the same thing: https://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/
I just looked at comic. Yeah I used to be like that when I was young but luckily my whole perspective on life was changed around high school and now I try to create my own happiness(MUCH easier said than done)
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
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It's just worth reading now and then whenever I feel like I "HAVE" to do something. I may not get rich but I'll lead a life I enjoy which is something better.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Yeah I feel you. Those "HAVE TO" feelings are annoying for sure.
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Yeah I feel you. Those "HAVE TO" feelings are annoying for sure.
Almost makes me regret that I blew my chance to be an Entomologist.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Nah dont regret things if you can. Is it possible for you to continue entomology? And if not could you still do it as a hobby?
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Nah dont regret things if you can. Is it possible for you to continue entomology? And if not could you still do it as a hobby?
It's more of a hobby actually. My dream as a kid was to travel the world and document and see all the animals in different places around the globe. I wanted to do what the people in the nature documentaries did.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Can you still persue that?
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: OP. Have you tried just enjoying the moment? Don't think about the past or future YOU ARE ALIVE. Really sit back and appreciate existence. At the end of the day goals dont matter. You can do everything you set out to do but happiness can only come from within. (Its funny cos someone used to tell me that growing up and I thought they were full of shit but lately I'm starting to think they were on to something)
I've been trying to get this point across.
I could have been in The Toadies as a drummer. I tried out for them when they were in Fort Worth Texas as teens. I was on a druggy path that would have more than likely ensured I OD'd on something before I was 30. I never went back to play with them even though they invited me to. That was my chance and I missed it. Do I regret it? Some, but mostly no. I would have been able to afford the drugs I was doing so I might not be here right now. If I made ANY other choices or anything in my life happened any differently, I would not be where I am at this moment.
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Can you still persue that?
Not likely. THere aren't many opportunities around here for it alas.
I don't think the problem is wanting achievement and status, that's fine every now and then. The problem with a Mid life crisis I think is when you stop and wonder what was it all for. You will suffer in life if you always worry about the outcome and don't enjoy the work.
I heard it said that happiness isn't by distancing from desires and wants (I mean they are yours so you just war against yourself) but it's like climbing a mountain. There is no joy in just taking a helicopter to the top or just wandering the base, the joy is in the climbing. In other words goals are fine as long as you are in the moment of doing them.
But if all you do is chase status, fame, rewards, etc then you'll be like the comic I linked, you don't like what you are doing because you want something out of it.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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I agree 100% it's so cliche but it really is about the journey. The reward is just the cherry on top.
Edit: yeah it is tuff if you live in an area that the subject doesn't exist. Still not impossible though :p
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InfiniteDreams


Registered: 10/25/19
Posts: 1,224
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In 2019 we brought you Rambo: Last Blood.
Now for 2020, anticipation is rising for Rambo: (and the) Rural Wandering Rogue Bloodthirsty Meth Heads
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26601159 - 04/14/20 05:47 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
Ummm for 2 years plus I lived in Wyoming on a work transfer and not once did I have to Rambo it out with rural wandering rogue bloodthirsty meth heads

Brokeback Mountain was filmed in Wyoming. Other than that, I don't know much about it really.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
HappyHigh said: ...Maybe try a hobby WAY outside your means...
I'm sad to say that most of those things are illegal. But I'm searching my soul.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said:
Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
Ummm for 2 years plus I lived in Wyoming on a work transfer and not once did I have to Rambo it out with rural wandering rogue bloodthirsty meth heads

Brokeback Mountain was filmed in Wyoming. Other than that, I don't know much about it really.
It's basically Montana but east of Montana. Right next to Montana. You grew up in Montana so you gotta know at least that much...
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Mudbrain
Stranger

Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 32
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26601343 - 04/14/20 06:59 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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No problem blackdragon! I realized after you replied that I have no idea what a web developer is, or what they actually do - you can probably tell because I'm all, "go make some low-expectation websites!"
But I'd encourage you to do something you've always wanted to do, and do it in a way that doesn't add more emotional stress to yourself.
And honestly, if you're just feeling tired and at loose ends, that's okay too- the midlife crisis doesn't seem to last forever... Just long enough to be a real bummer, no matter how successful you are.
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Babylon
Shaman


Registered: 05/15/11
Posts: 442
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26601392 - 04/14/20 07:16 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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You know the internet sucks, you have the beginnings of an understanding of how to fix some of it. You sound like you are asking for ways other people would like it to be fixed, but why don't you fix what you want to fix? You'll probably have to spend some cash for hosting, but it sounds like cash is not a problem for you and hosting is not that expensive anyways.
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MycQueen
Benevolent Monarch of Agaricales



Registered: 12/27/19
Posts: 105
Loc:
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
I think most of us here are socially awkward IRL and have found a haven here at the Shroomery. You are most definitely not alone on that one.
You don't have to be poor, make some more friends and share your good fortune with them. One could argue that you are making more friends right here, right now.
Be a mentor or angel investor.
Use your gifts/talents to start a non-profit, web site, program or app with a free service to help the type of people you've had to watch fall apart with nothing. Then maybe get a marketing company to help you reach the folks that need help most. Who were the type of folks that needed help, whether they were aware of it or not? What did they all have in common, need, or were lacking? Where could they go to get the help they needed? When could they have used intervention or help? How could they prevent this from happening?
We all have experiences and wisdom that can help each other - previous, current and coming generations. We just need to find a way to share it and have it be applied to each persons current situation. We all need help of some sort at some time, whether we want to admit it or not. We need to help each other, even from a distance to make it through.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: MycQueen]
#26602284 - 04/15/20 07:45 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26603488 - 04/15/20 05:11 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mudbrain said: No problem blackdragon! I realized after you replied that I have no idea what a web developer is, or what they actually do - you can probably tell because I'm all, "go make some low-expectation websites!"
But I'd encourage you to do something you've always wanted to do, and do it in a way that doesn't add more emotional stress to yourself.
And honestly, if you're just feeling tired and at loose ends, that's okay too- the midlife crisis doesn't seem to last forever... Just long enough to be a real bummer, no matter how successful you are.
In a way I'm glad I got back to the Shroomery. I'll probably be hanging around a lot more often because I like the environment here.
A web developer just builds/maintains a website. In a way, behind every website is an architect. I am much more of an artist than an mathematician so I view most things I learn as a tool to create better art. Web development seems to provide a venue to express that. Pure programming is usually very technical and often monotonous so as someone who loves to create things it's more of a means rather than an end.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Babylon] 1
#26603525 - 04/15/20 05:26 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Babylon said: You know the internet sucks, you have the beginnings of an understanding of how to fix some of it. You sound like you are asking for ways other people would like it to be fixed, but why don't you fix what you want to fix? You'll probably have to spend some cash for hosting, but it sounds like cash is not a problem for you and hosting is not that expensive anyways.
Most younger people now seem to be more or less preoccupied with their phones opposed to people in my general age group (computer people). One of the things I like about forums like this is that people actually take the time to type a response and have a conversation rather than a quick acronym or emoji.
But yes, I am fishing for ideas from different age groups. I'm not interested in making money at all really. I feel like I have woken up after a long sleep and I'm now the VCR/Tapedeck uncle
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Awww blackdragon999, you are not the tapedeck uncle..... you are the CD uncle 
Edit: much better than tapedecks
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: MycQueen]
#26603562 - 04/15/20 05:38 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
MycQueen said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
I think most of us here are socially awkward IRL and have found a haven here at the Shroomery. You are most definitely not alone on that one.
You don't have to be poor, make some more friends and share your good fortune with them. One could argue that you are making more friends right here, right now.
Be a mentor or angel investor.
Use your gifts/talents to start a non-profit, web site, program or app with a free service to help the type of people you've had to watch fall apart with nothing. Then maybe get a marketing company to help you reach the folks that need help most. Who were the type of folks that needed help, whether they were aware of it or not? What did they all have in common, need, or were lacking? Where could they go to get the help they needed? When could they have used intervention or help? How could they prevent this from happening?
We all have experiences and wisdom that can help each other - previous, current and coming generations. We just need to find a way to share it and have it be applied to each persons current situation. We all need help of some sort at some time, whether we want to admit it or not. We need to help each other, even from a distance to make it through.
Yes sometimes I am socially awkwerd sometimes I'm not. Always find a way to get a long with everybody without agreeing with them.
I do better and have more confidence away from, where I'm from. It's way more of a thrill.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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spirit_shadow said: Awww blackdragon999, you are not the tapedeck uncle..... you are the CD uncle 
Edit: much better than tapedecks 
Yeah...traumatized watching my stepdad trying to figure out how to rewind DVDs circa 1990's. Meanwhile before MP3 was a thing....burning 100s of CD's to my computer only to realize it copied all of the scratches on the CD and that my favorite songs would continue to skip forever.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I'm glad to see you back. You're adding in here (not just this thread).
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said:
Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Awww blackdragon999, you are not the tapedeck uncle..... you are the CD uncle 
Edit: much better than tapedecks 
Yeah...traumatized watching my stepdad trying to figure out how to rewind DVDs circa 1990's. Meanwhile before MP3 was a thing....burning 100s of CD's to my computer only to realize it copied all of the scratches on the CD and that my favorite songs would continue to skip forever.
The good old days
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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InfiniteDreams


Registered: 10/25/19
Posts: 1,224
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I am much more of an artist than an mathematician so I view most things I learn as a tool to create better art. Web development seems to provide a venue to express that. Pure programming is usually very technical and often monotonous so as someone who loves to create things it's more of a means rather than an end.
Math at its core is as pure as art. It is not monotonous. It is a failure of the education system in the way that mathematics is taught.
Pure math brings joy of the same kind as music or any visual art.
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susurrador
Psychedelic Cowboy


Registered: 03/31/19
Posts: 1,432
Loc: SW US
Last seen: 10 months, 6 hours
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Make babies, OP!! It is the missing link.
Sounds like a terrible idea to most reasonable people... but it is a huge responsibility and it is a fact that people get more satisfaction out of life by taking on long term challenges and bearing the burden of the additional responsibility for your clan.
Seriously. It is a huge task that would keep you going into old age.
I'm only assuming you don't have offspring because you didn't mention it in your post.
-------------------- "If it doesn't work, you can always hit him with it."
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: MycQueen]
#26603989 - 04/15/20 08:17 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
MycQueen said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
I think most of us here are socially awkward IRL and have found a haven here at the Shroomery. You are most definitely not alone on that one.
You don't have to be poor, make some more friends and share your good fortune with them. One could argue that you are making more friends right here, right now.
Be a mentor or angel investor.
Use your gifts/talents to start a non-profit, web site, program or app with a free service to help the type of people you've had to watch fall apart with nothing. Then maybe get a marketing company to help you reach the folks that need help most. Who were the type of folks that needed help, whether they were aware of it or not? What did they all have in common, need, or were lacking? Where could they go to get the help they needed? When could they have used intervention or help? How could they prevent this from happening?
We all have experiences and wisdom that can help each other - previous, current and coming generations. We just need to find a way to share it and have it be applied to each persons current situation. We all need help of some sort at some time, whether we want to admit it or not. We need to help each other, even from a distance to make it through.
It may sound cold/selfish of me to say this but I really don't get much joy out of helping random people. I put all my love into my wife and my art. I like children between the hours of 10am and 5pm as long as they are outside and are not crying. Since we have not assembled any children of our own, we enjoy being an uncle/aunt. My life has been like a TV set that only gets 2 channels in concurrent cycles of about 1-3 years at a time. - Channel 1: Depression, hopelessness and fear with a strong desire to isolate myself and neglect my friends, family and responsibilities. Even though I would like to be close to them I feel completely unable.
- Channel 2: Anger and frustration accompanied with a seemly unlimited source of drive and determination. Animosity towards people outside of my immediate circle for no other reason besides that they exist, also a high amount of preservation,protectiveness and caring for people close to me.
I find that I am somewhere towards the end of my first cycle. Despite what you may think. "Angry" is my creative/destructive phase. If I was able to think positively and at the same time get anything done...I definitely would.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26603998 - 04/15/20 08:21 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Niffla said:
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blackdragon999 said:
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Niffla said:
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blackdragon999 said: You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
Ummm for 2 years plus I lived in Wyoming on a work transfer and not once did I have to Rambo it out with rural wandering rogue bloodthirsty meth heads

Brokeback Mountain was filmed in Wyoming. Other than that, I don't know much about it really.
It's basically Montana but east of Montana. Right next to Montana. You grew up in Montana so you gotta know at least that much...
The shape of Montana makes it look like it has a face...so I guess that's pretty cool.
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O_Dweeds
Humanitarian Magician


Registered: 09/27/14
Posts: 942
Loc: Molecular (Creating, Watc...
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26604007 - 04/15/20 08:27 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mudbrain said: If you were a painter, it would sound like you're having a bit of a block. You were saying you'd like to be a web designer, so I'd challenge you to making some websites, three or so a day, for two weeks. Maybe something with a minimum of three pages at least. Try different formats of website, different kinds. Try WordPress vs straight HTML/css vs Dreamweaver etc.
They could be on/of anything, and at first, yeah they'll be stupid as hell, things you throw together just to make the quota, but by the time you're in your second week doing this, your subconscious will have come forward to give you some better guidance on what you want/need right now.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear when you overload your creativity with a "quality doesn't matter, only quantity" it frees your creative self from the pressure of being "good" or "worthwhile." The trick is to push quantity a to where it's almost un-doable; if you can make 3 websites a day no problem, then up the daily quota to where it puts enough pressure on you that you're having to push to meet that deadline.
Corporate america, one of the most misunderstood forms of therapy.
-------------------- Oxygen. Water. Neil Young Our word "planet" comes from the Greek word planetes, meaning "wanderer." "There ain't no revolution, only evolution, but every time I'm in Georgia I eat a peach for peace." Gregg Allman
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: I'm glad to see you back. You're adding in here (not just this thread).
Quote:
susurrador said: Make babies, OP!! It is the missing link.
Sounds like a terrible idea to most reasonable people... but it is a huge responsibility and it is a fact that people get more satisfaction out of life by taking on long term challenges and bearing the burden of the additional responsibility for your clan.
Seriously. It is a huge task that would keep you going into old age.
I'm only assuming you don't have offspring because you didn't mention it in your post.
You would be correct in assuming that. Like I posted earlier...I probably make a better uncle than a dad. I'd be kind of a fake dad anyway because I'm rarely home. All that aside I've been disabled, and I like being disabled.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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tyrannicalrex said: I'm glad to see you back. You're adding in here (not just this thread).
I'm here in one capacity or another, thank you!
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susurrador
Psychedelic Cowboy


Registered: 03/31/19
Posts: 1,432
Loc: SW US
Last seen: 10 months, 6 hours
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I tried. It's the only answer I've come up with for myself to solve a similar issue.
I think as long as it is a cause that is bigger than yourself and has purpose and will continue after you die... it can scratch that itch.
I have a feeling it's about leaving a legacy because most people realize at some point that when they die there will be next to no evidence that we ever existed lost amongst a bunch of other scraps of evidence that other people existed.
Can be depressing and demoralizing.
-------------------- "If it doesn't work, you can always hit him with it."
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
InfiniteDreams said:
Quote:
blackdragon999 said: I am much more of an artist than an mathematician so I view most things I learn as a tool to create better art. Web development seems to provide a venue to express that. Pure programming is usually very technical and often monotonous so as someone who loves to create things it's more of a means rather than an end.
Math at its core is as pure as art. It is not monotonous. It is a failure of the education system in the way that mathematics is taught.
Pure math brings joy of the same kind as music or any visual art.
If I wake up dead, trapped inside the Mandelbrot set...I'll remember that you said that. I enjoy math like I enjoy mustard...very sparingly.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
susurrador said: I tried. It's the only answer I've come up with for myself to solve a similar issue.
I think as long as it is a cause that is bigger than yourself and has purpose and will continue after you die... it can scratch that itch.
I have a feeling it's about leaving a legacy because most people realize at some point that when they die there will be next to no evidence that we ever existed lost amongst a bunch of other scraps of evidence that other people existed.
Can be depressing and demoralizing.
Thank you. When I think about it...I don't think I've ever had a desire to leave a legacy.
The only exception to that is if I could find a way to upload my consciousness and live forever in a super computer.
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Mudbrain
Stranger

Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 32
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Haha, no, for real, InfiniteDreams is right: math is/can be beautiful and amazing! I had a professor blow my mind when he started talking about "other kinds" of math! When I learned there were things like graph theory, and... er... other things with names I didn't know, it blew my mind! I was so frustrated learning everything through the language of algebra, only to find a sort of poetry in geometry that teachers would keep hidden because "algebra is what every one uses."
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susurrador
Psychedelic Cowboy


Registered: 03/31/19
Posts: 1,432
Loc: SW US
Last seen: 10 months, 6 hours
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said:
Quote:
susurrador said: I tried. It's the only answer I've come up with for myself to solve a similar issue.
I think as long as it is a cause that is bigger than yourself and has purpose and will continue after you die... it can scratch that itch.
I have a feeling it's about leaving a legacy because most people realize at some point that when they die there will be next to no evidence that we ever existed lost amongst a bunch of other scraps of evidence that other people existed.
Can be depressing and demoralizing.
Thank you. When I think about it...I don't think I've ever had a desire to leave a legacy.
The only exception to that is if I could find a way to upload my consciousness and live forever in a super computer.
I'm under the impression the desire to leave a legacy is the solution one eventually comes around to, to solve the "life and strife and everything is meaningless because one day I'll die" problem that accompanies conscious life and forward thinking.
At least in my case that seems to be about the size of it.
-------------------- "If it doesn't work, you can always hit him with it."
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Mudbrain
Stranger

Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 32
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26604252 - 04/15/20 09:46 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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ODweeds, if you could meet me irl, you'd see I'm the LEAST corporate American person you could meet!
It was required reading back in the day, but in the book "Art and Fear" by Bayles and Orland, there's a story that's told about a professor who did an experiment with his classes:
The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an “A”.
Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.
All my professors back in the day swore by this method, and it's gotten me through a lot of tough spots ever since, especially when I get stuck in my head trying "my best" and fearing that my best will never be enough. I can see how it can come off as corporate-speak, but I sincerely didn't mean it in any such way.
*Edited to add the author names to the book
Edited by Mudbrain (04/15/20 09:56 PM)
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O_Dweeds
Humanitarian Magician


Registered: 09/27/14
Posts: 942
Loc: Molecular (Creating, Watc...
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26604415 - 04/15/20 11:26 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mudbrain said: ODweeds, if you could meet me irl, you'd see I'm the LEAST corporate American person you could meet!
It was required reading back in the day, but in the book "Art and Fear" by Bayles and Orland, there's a story that's told about a professor who did an experiment with his classes:
The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an “A”.
Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.
All my professors back in the day swore by this method, and it's gotten me through a lot of tough spots ever since, especially when I get stuck in my head trying "my best" and fearing that my best will never be enough. I can see how it can come off as corporate-speak, but I sincerely didn't mean it in any such way.
*Edited to add the author names to the book
I didn't mean it sarcastically; humorous, but only it the most honest & truthful way. Everyone is generally working towards finding their balance. For millions of people corporate america, like anything, truly is therapeutic for those with the right mindset.
Completely agree with the modus operandi. I can see it, or be it, but I can't be both.
-------------------- Oxygen. Water. Neil Young Our word "planet" comes from the Greek word planetes, meaning "wanderer." "There ain't no revolution, only evolution, but every time I'm in Georgia I eat a peach for peace." Gregg Allman
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
susurrador said: I tried. It's the only answer I've come up with for myself to solve a similar issue.
I think as long as it is a cause that is bigger than yourself and has purpose and will continue after you die... it can scratch that itch.
I have a feeling it's about leaving a legacy because most people realize at some point that when they die there will be next to no evidence that we ever existed lost amongst a bunch of other scraps of evidence that other people existed.
Can be depressing and demoralizing.
Wow, the thought of someone being demoralized and depressed by not "leaving a legacy" or having to leave one to make ones life justified/important etc...is depressing to me. I wish you well sir! I personally find that since I've created some art in my lifetime that it will be passed down and around and people will enjoy that and wonder who that guy was that painted the work. I do not care about "leaving a legacy" and find it strange that that would drive people to have kids, always have, not just you here and now. Nursing is also giving me the sense that even though I don't know the friends family and relatives of the people I'm helping, they will tell of me and those people will know and pass down the story. IRDC though, I ask for nothing in return and that's the beauty of nursing for me.
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Babylon
Shaman


Registered: 05/15/11
Posts: 442
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:
susurrador said: I tried. It's the only answer I've come up with for myself to solve a similar issue.
I think as long as it is a cause that is bigger than yourself and has purpose and will continue after you die... it can scratch that itch.
I have a feeling it's about leaving a legacy because most people realize at some point that when they die there will be next to no evidence that we ever existed lost amongst a bunch of other scraps of evidence that other people existed.
Can be depressing and demoralizing.
Wow, the thought of someone being demoralized and depressed by not "leaving a legacy" or having to leave one to make ones life justified/important etc...is depressing to me. I wish you well sir! I personally find that since I've created some art in my lifetime that it will be passed down and around and people will enjoy that and wonder who that guy was that painted the work. I do not care about "leaving a legacy" and find it strange that that would drive people to have kids, always have, not just you here and now. Nursing is also giving me the sense that even though I don't know the friends family and relatives of the people I'm helping, they will tell of me and those people will know and pass down the story. IRDC though, I ask for nothing in return and that's the beauty of nursing for me.
You just said you don't feel bad about not leaving a legacy because of your art. Your art IS your legacy...
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Babylon]
#26605436 - 04/16/20 10:22 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I thought I stated that as well. Either way it's not something I'll worry and think about bringing me to a negative state of being. I'm all about sensation, the now, the moment. I have been planning these last years of my life my whole life and things are coming to fruition. I do worry about it all imploding, but I can plan on preventing that.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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If I have to die first in order to leave a legacy I'm pretty sure I won't care much about it when I'm gone. Better to focus on my life now than to eventually be forgotten in a cemetery.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Yes, agreed.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 23 minutes, 2 seconds
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Transience is beauty.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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