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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Thanks man. You too.
I've been talking to over 100 chicks on the internet. From a bunch of different countries.
Just small talk. It's fun. I just tell them positive things. Nothing too much.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Wont do anything stupid.
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Mudbrain
Stranger

Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 32
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If you were a painter, it would sound like you're having a bit of a block. You were saying you'd like to be a web designer, so I'd challenge you to making some websites, three or so a day, for two weeks. Maybe something with a minimum of three pages at least. Try different formats of website, different kinds. Try WordPress vs straight HTML/css vs Dreamweaver etc.
They could be on/of anything, and at first, yeah they'll be stupid as hell, things you throw together just to make the quota, but by the time you're in your second week doing this, your subconscious will have come forward to give you some better guidance on what you want/need right now.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear when you overload your creativity with a "quality doesn't matter, only quantity" it frees your creative self from the pressure of being "good" or "worthwhile." The trick is to push quantity a to where it's almost un-doable; if you can make 3 websites a day no problem, then up the daily quota to where it puts enough pressure on you that you're having to push to meet that deadline.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Mudbrain]
#26599378 - 04/14/20 01:13 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mudbrain said: If you were a painter, it would sound like you're having a bit of a block. You were saying you'd like to be a web designer, so I'd challenge you to making some websites, three or so a day, for two weeks. Maybe something with a minimum of three pages at least. Try different formats of website, different kinds. Try WordPress vs straight HTML/css vs Dreamweaver etc.
They could be on/of anything, and at first, yeah they'll be stupid as hell, things you throw together just to make the quota, but by the time you're in your second week doing this, your subconscious will have come forward to give you some better guidance on what you want/need right now.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear when you overload your creativity with a "quality doesn't matter, only quantity" it frees your creative self from the pressure of being "good" or "worthwhile." The trick is to push quantity a to where it's almost un-doable; if you can make 3 websites a day no problem, then up the daily quota to where it puts enough pressure on you that you're having to push to meet that deadline.
I feel like I have enough pressure at my actual job and it would probably ruin my interest in coding...I would just end up wanting to kick babies at the end of the first week. I'd also rather catch Covid-19 than use WordPress. I do understand in a sense what you are saying though,thank you. I have been locked in my room thinking too much.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26599390 - 04/14/20 01:34 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said: That is a phenomenal post.
The going off to be alone part particularly -- that resonates with me so much. Just shutting the world off and going away to a cabin in the mountains somewhere in northwestern Wyoming. Or Colorado or Montana. Maybe New Mexico. No cable. God I'd like to abandon the internet too.
No more hearing/seeing these politically obsessed liberal and conservative freaks cry all day about politicians. No more rush hour traffic surrounded by an ocean of unhappy people. No more massive corporations begging telling me I need their product at every turn. Shit I'd like to smash this stupid smart phone too that I always got my face buried in. No more wasting my time watching completely meaningless sports like I've done so much of life. No more stupid petty drama and fake people who sit around judging everyone.
Just the quiet of the mountain and nature. I swear I daydream about that lifestyle all the time now.
Once upon a time I hated the idea of living out somewhere remote and rural. Now I fantasize about it. I loathe the city life now. I've been in the city virtually my entire life and I'm to the point where I despise it at this point. So many awful human beings. It's loud. It's dirty. It's crime ridden.
One day, man. One day.
I raised in Montana...and I have a lingering fear of small towns after watching everyone I grew up destroy their lives after realizing that it was probably to much effort and risky to wander too far away from their home town, it seems like an excellent place to be if you are very young or very old. My parents are boomers that live in a quiet little small town and have had their home burglarized multiple times and have had windows smashed in their vehicles in the past few years. You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: ummmm, if those are your achievements in the 1st post, just sit back and enjoy it! I WISH I was in that position. I fucking hate working because I have to, but at least I have a great job. Hopefully in a few more years the hubby and I will retire. Then it's travelling some and just enjoying life. I'd retire right this very minute if I could. If I'm vegging in front of a TV, so fucking what? I earned that right. I love just sitting and doing nothing. BUT, I have been working since I was 12yo, and grew up poor.
I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,484
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said: You would pretty much have to live Rambo style out in the woods if you want to avoid the methheads.
Ummm for 2 years plus I lived in Wyoming on a work transfer and not once did I have to Rambo it out with rural wandering rogue bloodthirsty meth heads
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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HappyHigh
Stranger

Registered: 05/05/17
Posts: 892
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
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Re: Mid Life Crisis [Re: Niffla]
#26599581 - 04/14/20 05:47 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think you have a issue achieving your goals too easily. You seem to be well off mentally and physically. If there is something you can't accomplish on your own you have the money to pay some one to do it. Maybe try a hobby WAY outside your means. I was the same way in life for many years felt like nothing really mattered no matter how good or bad things where i was in same spot mentally. I started working on cars that got easy so moved to the motors that's kept me gong 6 years. always a new part or something i could upgrade even if it's replacing something i upgraded 4 times, on cars there is never a limit but money.
-------------------- Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
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Blu Spore


Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 1,320
Loc: Canada
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It will not matter whether we live in the city or in the country side; if our mind is restless for achievement and results than we won't find peace. It won't solve anything to just move away because the restlessness will follow.
It could be some sort of meditation practice or spiritual practice that could help. You know, working on the inner being or some shit But how one goes about this is a personal thing, feel around until something resonates with you. The mind will often protest when you begin a practice like this. It will resist and say "this is stupid" "what a waste of time" "these people are clueless flakes" (this could be if you doing some group practice). This voice is often part of the root of the problem. Identification with achievements, status, doing, craving ect....
Might be hard to find a teacher or group you gel with, I finally found a good group which I like. Not pretentious or weird or anything. For famous teachers I quite like Eckhart Tolle. Good luck to you!
And I agree with the other poster planting trees is very rewarding but again this is a personal thing.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
blackdragon999 said:
Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: ummmm, if those are your achievements in the 1st post, just sit back and enjoy it! I WISH I was in that position. I fucking hate working because I have to, but at least I have a great job. Hopefully in a few more years the hubby and I will retire. Then it's travelling some and just enjoying life. I'd retire right this very minute if I could. If I'm vegging in front of a TV, so fucking what? I earned that right. I love just sitting and doing nothing. BUT, I have been working since I was 12yo, and grew up poor.
I wasn't trying to be arrogant about it...but things like that have always been easy for me. I've watched so many people work for almost nothing until they fall apart, get replaced by younger workers and die with nothing. That fear definitely can carry you along way. Since I have always been socially awkward it was easy to focus more on things rather than people. But now I wish that I was poor...and that I had more friends.
I didn't get an arrogant feel from your post. I was posting how I felt about those achievements. Coming form a poor background has made me feel and act a certain way pertaining to wealth and such. I do see a lot of people who are monetarily set, but mentally and in relationships they are fucked up. Money can't buy happiness, but it can help one find it. Plus it makes life easier in a lot of ways. Good luck to you and I hope you find your inner peace.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 32 minutes
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OP. Have you tried just enjoying the moment? Don't think about the past or future YOU ARE ALIVE. Really sit back and appreciate existence. At the end of the day goals dont matter. You can do everything you set out to do but happiness can only come from within. (Its funny cos someone used to tell me that growing up and I thought they were full of shit but lately I'm starting to think they were on to something)
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Blu Spore said: It will not matter whether we live in the city or in the country side; if our mind is restless for achievement and results than we won't find peace. It won't solve anything to just move away because the restlessness will follow.
It could be some sort of meditation practice or spiritual practice that could help. You know, working on the inner being or some shit But how one goes about this is a personal thing, feel around until something resonates with you. The mind will often protest when you begin a practice like this. It will resist and say "this is stupid" "what a waste of time" "these people are clueless flakes" (this could be if you doing some group practice). This voice is often part of the root of the problem. Identification with achievements, status, doing, craving ect....
Might be hard to find a teacher or group you gel with, I finally found a good group which I like. Not pretentious or weird or anything. For famous teachers I quite like Eckhart Tolle. Good luck to you!
And I agree with the other poster planting trees is very rewarding but again this is a personal thing.
I think it's more a case of how you treat the goals. Usually striving for achievement is to compensate for a perceived inferiority. Often times we are concerned with the outcome of our deeds rather than the doing.
Meditation won't solve the issue, and in some cases can make it worse. There's nothing wrong with "craving" or wanting to do things but it helps to ask WHY you want to do that. Is it because it's something you like (for me it's going to Butterfly World) or because of someone saying you ought to or to prove something (me studying accounting for example).
This probably explains it better than I can: https://zenpencils.com/comic/hiphop/
In short the problem is that most people tend to be outcome focused and forget to enjoy the process. Achievement is nice but it's hollow if that's all you care about.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
Edited by Thanatos10 (04/14/20 11:46 AM)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 32 minutes
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you have to create your own happiness.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said:
you have to create your own happiness.
Something like that but that comic really changed my perspective. It made me question why I was doing things and how long had it been since I did something just because I liked it and nothing else. Alan Watts said the same thing: https://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 32 minutes
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
spirit_shadow said:
you have to create your own happiness.
Something like that but that comic really changed my perspective. It made me question why I was doing things and how long had it been since I did something just because I liked it and nothing else. Alan Watts said the same thing: https://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/
I just looked at comic. Yeah I used to be like that when I was young but luckily my whole perspective on life was changed around high school and now I try to create my own happiness(MUCH easier said than done)
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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It's just worth reading now and then whenever I feel like I "HAVE" to do something. I may not get rich but I'll lead a life I enjoy which is something better.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 32 minutes
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Yeah I feel you. Those "HAVE TO" feelings are annoying for sure.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Yeah I feel you. Those "HAVE TO" feelings are annoying for sure.
Almost makes me regret that I blew my chance to be an Entomologist.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 32 minutes
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Nah dont regret things if you can. Is it possible for you to continue entomology? And if not could you still do it as a hobby?
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Thanatos10
Stranger


Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Nah dont regret things if you can. Is it possible for you to continue entomology? And if not could you still do it as a hobby?
It's more of a hobby actually. My dream as a kid was to travel the world and document and see all the animals in different places around the globe. I wanted to do what the people in the nature documentaries did.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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