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Anonymous #1

I think No Fap is bullshit
    #26583930 - 04/07/20 12:36 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

So the no fap trend has made me call into question masturbation over and over again over the last few years.  A while back I participated in this and didn't 'fap' for close to a year if not longer.  Looking back at that time, I did have a much clearer mind, I was able to focus more and my days/priorities/goals everything were much more defined.  That is, if I had a goal, if I had something to do over the course of a day or even 6 months, it would always be clear in my mind.  I would never get sidetracked by my own drifting thoughts/focus and other peoples bullshit was clear as day especially when it was intentionally aimed at distracting me from my goal. 

I also had quit doing all drugs just before this period of 'no fap', so I am not sure if one or the other caused this clarity or both.  If both, I'm not sure which played a bigger role.  I also had developed a no lose philosophy, constantly repeating mantras in my head saying losing or being unhappy was not an option. This also contributed to clarity. 

Eventually though, most likely due to the combination of stress and being horny as fuck, I gave in to sexual urges.  At first since I had sworn off pornography and I viewed watching a few vids and getting a quick release as more detrimental than finding a random woman and fucking her, I did just that and found a random woman and we fucked a few times over the course of two nights. The sex was barbaric, animalistic, just primal devastation resulting from all my pent up sexual energy.  I mean, we did some nasty shit that wasn't even discussed, just totally unconscious sexual urges that manifested themselves uncontrollably on my behalf. I felt bad the next day, as if I had just scarred this woman for life. I felt bad again when she expected to see me again and I had to make up some cute bullshit excuse as to why I didn't think it would work out. In reality I didn't find her very attractive and she just wasn't my type at all. Total downgrade for me, was not the kind of woman you bring home to mom.

Shortly after this, still encased in the aura of shame and regret from the experience, I meet another young lady that I am not very attracted to physically, but my hornyness and her slutty demeanor just meshed automatically. Before long against all logic and reason I invite her to my place with the intentions of fucking her and right before it happens she expresses her concern that it will be a one night thing, so of course, being a guy with a semi-hard dick ready to go to war I say some stupid shit consisting of the assurance that it will not be a meaningless one night fuck.  Fast forward months and months later, this woman is still coming around regularly, the sex is fucking amazing, but I am feeling crowded and forced to participate in a relationship I don't want to be in.

Now if we can just go back to the day I deemed pornography and 'fapping' a destructive thing to do, and decide otherwise, that it is a perfectly healthy and safer alternative to fucking random women and getting involved in shitty relationships that consume all your time, energy, and emotional freedom, none of this shit would have ever happened and I might have had the time to discover a cure for cancer or some shit. 

so this is where I am at with 'no fap'.  Sure, it might allow you to focus and have more clarity, but what good is that focus and clarity going to do when you get involved with some bitch you don't really even like just so you can get a nut in a way you deem superior to jacking off? The only way I can get down with 'no fap' is if you also abstain from fucking women too, or if you actually are in a relationship with a respectable women you plan to be with for the long run and you only allow yourself to get off with her. Otherwise, all of the benefits are going to be constantly tested by the fact that you are a man and you need to release your fucking seed.

I always considered myself more level headed than most, but let me tell you, having a years worth of sexual tension just brewing beneath the surface made me the most confused and divided I had ever been in my entire life.  I understand how porn can be destructive to young kids and men who never leave the house, I understand it can provide a false sense of accomplishment, it inhibits their drive to seek out the real deal, but for those of us who have little issue getting out and getting the real deal and interacting with women, who have shit to lose and things to do, I can no longer agree that porn is this evil thing.

I have been testing this out for a few months, going without fapping and porn, and then trying it out again.  I make the most impulsive and regrettable decisions involving women when I have not 'fapped' within a few days prior to making the decision. I would say after about the 3rd or 4th day, I will compromise plans and goals I was completely committed to and excited to tackle in pursuit of a momentary orgasm fucking some girl which is always followed by regret and a wasted morning the next day while I wait for the girl to leave. Not to mention these types of encounters often end up involving alcohol.  When I come across the opportunity to get laid and I have satisfied myself within the aforementioned time frame, that animal desire that would otherwise suffocate any ability to reason, it just doesn't even exist. I am able to prioritize rationally and do the RIGHT THING for myself. 

I am very curious what other men have to say about this. I don't necessarily believe what I have said is true for everyone either, I know in my early 20's and late teens even, I never 'fapped'.  I only did it when the desire was intense, which wasn't as often as it has become in my late 20's.  I think it must have to do with hormones increasing in what my body considers it's 'prime'.  I love being an intellectual person,  being able to think rationally and be reasonable, but ever since my sexual desire began increasing like this, I feel like all the fucking irresponsible meatheads I used to shake my head at in high school.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #26584531 - 04/07/20 05:34 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26585801 - 04/08/20 08:02 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.



Well, that's another thing I got hung up on.  When I was experiencing a lot of clarity and I guess you could say 'higher levels of consciousness', it was great and everything but I think one of the reasons I started developing such strong sexual desires (apart from the hormonal element) was that I felt like less of a man.  It was like regardless of the benefits and the clarity and being so 'with it', I felt like others were seeing me as this virgin or something that lacked a strong male essence, and not only did it feel like others saw this in me, I felt it in myself.  It's like sex is an element of life and just like good nutrition we are lacking if we don't get a decent portion of it. 

There is a huge noticeable difference in social situations now, especially around women, compared to the time when I was abstaining from everything.  When I was abstaining I think I was completely blind to sexual cues, I was probably timid when I did pick up on them because anything involving sex was just - I didn't know how to handle it, reject it, etc. also, feeling like less of a man for not having been with a woman for a while my confidence was lower.  I think I was even less assertive and stable when talking to other men.  Now, after my streak of fucking random women and having sex consistently, all of that seemed to change.  When I am around women now it's like effortless confidence, and its obvious they pick up on it and react to it and it changes the entire dynamic.  Before it was as if I had something to prove to the women and now it seems like they now have something to prove to me.

But yeah. Balance.  That's a hard one for me.  Currently I am trying to let a relationship die but the sex keeps roping me back in.  I've told myself 40 times now "I'm just gonna fuck her one last time". Every time I end up having her over 3-4 nights in a row.  When I get the damn thought of it in my head I just can't let it go, and it seems that the one night, the one last time, is just never enough.  Its crazy.  I never thought I would end up a person that is addicted to sex... I never gave a fuck about it before. Now I can't imagine going 2 weeks or more without it.


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Anonymous #3

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26585918 - 04/08/20 09:13 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him.  Until that takes place the games continue.


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Anonymous #4

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #26585997 - 04/08/20 09:38 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds more like low t to me. Abstaining is supposed to increase sexual urge. Id recommend heavy excersice to increase t levels if you feel like 'less of a man'.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #26586060 - 04/08/20 10:10 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him.  Until that takes place the games continue.



word. very well said. lol

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Sounds more like low t to me. Abstaining is supposed to increase sexual urge. Id recommend heavy excersice to increase t levels if you feel like 'less of a man'.




I'm sure during that time I could have been exercising more, but I had no lack of sexual urge, I was actually bothered often by sexual thoughts every time I had a casual encounter with women in public.  They were thinking about how nice a guy I was and I was thinking about all the ways I could dominate them sexually. Got to be pretty annoying honestly. But I wasn't feeling like a man because I had no recent sexual experiences, so women became more intimidating.  When you have recently laid out a few women and just sexually taken control of them and made them quiver and shriek and just fold for you, that sense of power and control as a man undeniably carries over into other aspects of your life.  I think I was lacking that.


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Anonymous #4

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26586478 - 04/08/20 02:00 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

For me nofap gives me more confidence in myself talking to women. It makes really beautiful women a lot less intimidating to strike up conversation with and decreases a lot of the social anxiety.


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OfflineThe Mycologist
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #26586483 - 04/08/20 02:02 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I gotta fap so I can think about the important stuff.

Those damn women cloud my mind.


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #26586949 - 04/08/20 05:52 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
For me nofap gives me more confidence in myself talking to women. It makes really beautiful women a lot less intimidating to strike up conversation with and decreases a lot of the social anxiety.




I guess, I can and can't relate.  If I come into contact with a really attractive chick and I know I just fapped to some less then respectable adult content the night before, my confidence might take a hit.  Also, I totally get that it only makes sense that a guy would have more confidence talking to women if he has some ammunition in the chamber so to speak. 

On the other hand if you haven't fapped or had sex in weeks I can also see (based on my experiences) how all that sexual tension could cause you to say some stupid shit or, the sexual thoughts could get in the way of interacting at all.  And also like I said, in my experience I felt like a prude nice guy.  Women don't want prude nice guys in my experience, they want primal animalistic guys who will rip their clothes off and dominate them. 

I guess its a really subjective matter... Could have really just been my experience at that time.  I know more recently when I haven't fapped for a while and I do fall into the trap of inviting a chick over instead of just fapping, the sex is fucking great.  Compared to if I have fapped the sex seems like I am just going through the motions. 


Bottom line still is this... I gotta fucking fap to prevent myself from getting involved in stupid relationships, or hanging out with chicks primarily just for sex.  The shame and consequences of fapping are much less than the shame and consequences of fucking women casually all the time.  Like... it has really taken a toll on my productivity and I could probably be in a much better place than I am today if I just jacked off instead of had sex in certain circumstances.  But thats me


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: The Mycologist] * 1
    #26586953 - 04/08/20 05:55 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

The Mycologist said:
I gotta fap so I can think about the important stuff.

Those damn women cloud my mind.



yeah man.  its crazy.  I have sat in front of my computer debating between fapping and inviting a chick over, I tell myself neither...and after imagining myself screwing the chick 80 different ways for 2 hours while I pretend to focus on important shit I go back to consciously debating and after I decide to and complete a successful fap session I realize I could have just fapped 3 hours prior and focused on important shit for an extra 2 hours.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #26587762 - 04/09/20 12:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.




It's more like religion/spirituality has a habit of suppressing a natural aspect of humanity in the BELIEF that it leads to some higher state (spoiler it doesn't and there aren't any). There is no such thing as transmuting the energy of sexual desire.

That being said NoFap is BS. There isn't any evidence that it does what it claims to do and it's very damaging to people's well-being. It doesn't improve focus or drive. However if you are masturbating EVERY day then it's something you might want to look into.

Nothing makes you "less of a man", that's just more societal bullshit.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10] * 1
    #26588333 - 04/09/20 08:51 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

You guys make sex sound like a bad thing which is why your rules/obsessed by it. The amount of people who tried to “transform” that energy failed and that’s how you end up with those sexual assault scandals by gurus, monks, and priests. That’s what happens when you make an enemy of something that isn’t it. I swear you guys’ attitude isn’t that different from Christians really.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #26588477 - 04/09/20 10:03 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him.  Until that takes place the games continue.




There isn’t a difference between the two. For a forum on psychedelics you have some repressive views on sexuality


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #3

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26588890 - 04/09/20 01:36 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I don’t think you have any clue as to what that means then.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #26588977 - 04/09/20 02:16 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
I don’t think you have any clue as to what that means then.




I mean if you are implying it in cases of rape or like the OP with them staying in a relationship just because the sex is great then I can see it.

But maybe the fault is in your saying and a misunderstanding that we have any true control over our actions. Free will is but an illusion after all.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #3

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10] * 1
    #26589040 - 04/09/20 02:58 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you.  I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #26589055 - 04/09/20 03:07 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you.  I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.




I can promise those vibes are just in your head.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26589281 - 04/09/20 05:04 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

a man's got to mitigate the vibes, as opposed to letting the vibes mitigate him.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26589344 - 04/09/20 05:39 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
a man's got to mitigate the vibes, as opposed to letting the vibes mitigate him.




Vibes are just your imagination and are terribly misleading.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #26591076 - 04/10/20 01:18 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you.  I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.



That would be a good instinct.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #26591095 - 04/10/20 01:27 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Instincts aren’t always correct and can mislead, happens all the time


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26591111 - 04/10/20 01:35 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Instincts aren’t always correct and can mislead, happens all the time




I guess.




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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10] * 1
    #26591169 - 04/10/20 02:02 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Instincts aren’t always correct and can mislead, happens all the time



Perhaps for you.

I can say, with experience, mine have never steered me wrong.

In fact, the only time I've ever been steered wrong in this life is when my head is in charge, rather than my gut (instinct).


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26591247 - 04/10/20 02:39 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Instincts aren’t always correct and can mislead, happens all the time



Perhaps for you.

I can say, with experience, mine have never steered me wrong.

In fact, the only time I've ever been steered wrong in this life is when my head is in charge, rather than my gut (instinct).




I can name a more than a few times where my gut was wrong and my head was not but I listened to my gut because it "felt right" rather than what was right.

So I guess nothing is proven in the end.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26591250 - 04/10/20 02:40 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Back on topic, NoFap is just rooted in a mistaken and unhealthy view of human sexuality.


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As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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OfflineBabylon
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26592664 - 04/11/20 03:48 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

hooking up with random women is definitely worse than masturbating.  The whole point of abstaining is to turn that sexual energy in other directions, if that direction is a woman you don't belong with that's worse than wasting the energy.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Babylon]
    #26592866 - 04/11/20 07:22 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Babylon said:
hooking up with random women is definitely worse than masturbating.  The whole point of abstaining is to turn that sexual energy in other directions, if that direction is a woman you don't belong with that's worse than wasting the energy.




yep. agreed.  Now I have a whole new problem.  Initially I just had to fight the urge to watch porn and fap.. But because I didn't do those things and I went out and got hooked on sex with someone I'm not into, I'm addicted to it.  Now, even if I use porn to try and quell the urges it isn't satisfying. I think I need like a year of abstinence.  I know I do actually. Because the thought of it terrifies me, and that shouldn't be the case.  Pretty sure I am using sex as a distraction from something important I should be dealing with but I don't know what that is.

Another issue is that I live alone, and I get fucking lonely.  So, sometimes I don't even care that I'm not that into this chick, its just nice having someone around. It's a hard situation.  If I do everything I feel I should do for myself I would be left completely alone and devoid of pleasure.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Babylon]
    #26593192 - 04/11/20 10:39 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Babylon said:
hooking up with random women is definitely worse than masturbating.  The whole point of abstaining is to turn that sexual energy in other directions, if that direction is a woman you don't belong with that's worse than wasting the energy.




Worse that masturbating? There’s nothing wrong with either of those options abstinence is just a negative attitude towards sexuality and it doesn’t work also. Just look at the many scandals from those pope who claim to “abstain”. All you are doing is just warring against yourself. There’s no “turning the energy elsewhere” or “wasting it”. It’s not anger.

Abstinence doesn’t work, it just creates psychologically damaged humans. You need to embrace your sexuality and then it will have less control over you and you won’t feel compelled to sleep with any one just for company.

But it doesn’t sound like sex is the problem (it rarely is). I seems more like a cover for not wanting to be alone. In other words you need to learn to be by yourself that way you don’t feel the need to jump into things just to not be lonely. In future with the security in knowing you don’t need someone in your life you’ll actually be better adjusted to having someone else in your life.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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InvisiblebodhisattaMDiscordReddit
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26593308 - 04/11/20 11:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
You guys make sex sound like a bad thing which is why your rules/obsessed by it. The amount of people who tried to “transform” that energy failed and that’s how you end up with those sexual assault scandals by gurus, monks, and priests. That’s what happens when you make an enemy of something that isn’t it. I swear you guys’ attitude isn’t that different from Christians really.




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OfflineBabylon
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26594611 - 04/11/20 11:31 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Quote:

Babylon said:
hooking up with random women is definitely worse than masturbating.  The whole point of abstaining is to turn that sexual energy in other directions, if that direction is a woman you don't belong with that's worse than wasting the energy.




Worse that masturbating? There’s nothing wrong with either of those options abstinence is just a negative attitude towards sexuality and it doesn’t work also. Just look at the many scandals from those pope who claim to “abstain”. All you are doing is just warring against yourself. There’s no “turning the energy elsewhere” or “wasting it”. It’s not anger.

Abstinence doesn’t work, it just creates psychologically damaged humans. You need to embrace your sexuality and then it will have less control over you and you won’t feel compelled to sleep with any one just for company.

But it doesn’t sound like sex is the problem (it rarely is). I seems more like a cover for not wanting to be alone. In other words you need to learn to be by yourself that way you don’t feel the need to jump into things just to not be lonely. In future with the security in knowing you don’t need someone in your life you’ll actually be better adjusted to having someone else in your life.




I'm pro sex, masturbation, casual, or whatever, but absitinence is definitely powerful.  There's a reason monks and nuns are celibate, there's a reason it's a common part of magical traditions all over the world.  If you redirect your sexual energy toward something else you can accomplish quite a lot.

I don't think it's healthy, that's why it's commonly used by wizards and monks, they aren't healthy people they are magical, or spiritual people. 

I agree with you that he'll be happier if he learns to enjoy his own company.  It doesn't sound like he has a magical goal for his abstinence, so much as he's simply trying to build himself a better life, and abstinence isn't going to get him there.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Babylon] * 1
    #26594713 - 04/12/20 12:25 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Monks and nuns aren’t magic, you would be surprised at the number of sex scandals among them just like catholic priests. It’s what happens when you war against your own being. There isn’t an energy to redirect it just hurts you later on. Abstinence has been shown not to work, it’s failed time and again.

Which is why it’s healthier to embrace it rather than “redirect it”.

You can’t really be pro sex and masturbation and hold regard for alleged abstinence


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OfflineBabylon
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26594864 - 04/12/20 02:04 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Monks and nuns aren’t magic, you would be surprised at the number of sex scandals among them just like catholic priests. It’s what happens when you war against your own being. There isn’t an energy to redirect it just hurts you later on. Abstinence has been shown not to work, it’s failed time and again.

Which is why it’s healthier to embrace it rather than “redirect it”.

You can’t really be pro sex and masturbation and hold regard for alleged abstinence





I'm in favor of people doing what they like with their bits, whether that is everything, nothing, or whatever in between.  I don't think you can really be pro sex without also being in favor of people's sexual choices when that choice is abstinence.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Babylon]
    #26595487 - 04/12/20 10:48 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I am pro sex but usually that position doesn’t come from a condescending place


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OfflineAlyssa
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26643882 - 05/02/20 02:32 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Reddit is a moronic website. Nofap is done for all the wrong reasons.

The only relevant point on the matter is this: porn is rape. It's often child rape. I don't give a fuck how motherfuckers try to weasel out of this reality via any of innumerable possible men-are-more-capable-of-rational-thought bullshit dazzles. Economic and physical coercion are employed so crusty fuckstains can consider consent superfluous to sex. Therefore, abstain from PMO, end of story.

But as for MO, the physiological necessities of sentient life are of the highest importance in the universe. Erogenous zones are erogenous for a divine reason. The imperative to indulge in self-love is obvious to anyone unencumbered by repressive dogma. Giving in to the temptation when it's socially unacceptable is an even more celestial dimension of bliss.

Writing erotic fiction is a damn respectable use of time. What the shitfuck happened to imagination and creativity??


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26646405 - 05/03/20 04:19 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alyssa said:
Reddit is a moronic website. Nofap is done for all the wrong reasons.

The only relevant point on the matter is this: porn is rape. It's often child rape. I don't give a fuck how motherfuckers try to weasel out of this reality via any of innumerable possible men-are-more-capable-of-rational-thought bullshit dazzles. Economic and physical coercion are employed so crusty fuckstains can consider consent superfluous to sex. Therefore, abstain from PMO, end of story.

But as for MO, the physiological necessities of sentient life are of the highest importance in the universe. Erogenous zones are erogenous for a divine reason. The imperative to indulge in self-love is obvious to anyone unencumbered by repressive dogma. Giving in to the temptation when it's socially unacceptable is an even more celestial dimension of bliss.

Writing erotic fiction is a damn respectable use of time. What the shitfuck happened to imagination and creativity??




What is PMO?


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26647204 - 05/03/20 11:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

It's definitely pretty dumb. If my dick wants me to jerk it off I jerk it off.


--------------------
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InvisiblebodhisattaMDiscordReddit
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26647454 - 05/04/20 04:44 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Alyssa said:
Reddit is a moronic website. Nofap is done for all the wrong reasons.

The only relevant point on the matter is this: porn is rape. It's often child rape. I don't give a fuck how motherfuckers try to weasel out of this reality via any of innumerable possible men-are-more-capable-of-rational-thought bullshit dazzles. Economic and physical coercion are employed so crusty fuckstains can consider consent superfluous to sex. Therefore, abstain from PMO, end of story.

But as for MO, the physiological necessities of sentient life are of the highest importance in the universe. Erogenous zones are erogenous for a divine reason. The imperative to indulge in self-love is obvious to anyone unencumbered by repressive dogma. Giving in to the temptation when it's socially unacceptable is an even more celestial dimension of bliss.

Writing erotic fiction is a damn respectable use of time. What the shitfuck happened to imagination and creativity??




What is PMO?



Fucking google bro.
Porn, masturbating, orgasm.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: bodhisatta]
    #26647563 - 05/04/20 06:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

bodhisatta said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Alyssa said:
Reddit is a moronic website. Nofap is done for all the wrong reasons.

The only relevant point on the matter is this: porn is rape. It's often child rape. I don't give a fuck how motherfuckers try to weasel out of this reality via any of innumerable possible men-are-more-capable-of-rational-thought bullshit dazzles. Economic and physical coercion are employed so crusty fuckstains can consider consent superfluous to sex. Therefore, abstain from PMO, end of story.

But as for MO, the physiological necessities of sentient life are of the highest importance in the universe. Erogenous zones are erogenous for a divine reason. The imperative to indulge in self-love is obvious to anyone unencumbered by repressive dogma. Giving in to the temptation when it's socially unacceptable is an even more celestial dimension of bliss.

Writing erotic fiction is a damn respectable use of time. What the shitfuck happened to imagination and creativity??




What is PMO?



Fucking google bro.
Porn, masturbating, orgasm.





alright. well.  how would amateur/homemade porn be considered rape?  Have you seen how many people(women) just willingly put themselves on the internet?

Shit.  You can even just go on tinder and these chicks are halfway exposing themselves these days.


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InvisibleDouble
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26647641 - 05/04/20 07:38 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Masturbation has saved my life man. Everytime i start to get motivated to ask a girl out on date, have a wonderful time, and some wonderful sex afterwards. BOOM! Masturbation is there for me. All i gotta do is bust a nut and I aint making plans with no girl no more. I ain't calling/texting nobody.

I just saved myself some money, time, and problems. It's problematic to get involved with women, not because women are the problem, but because im straight and thats what i get. Maybe we can ask the gay guys in the forum if its just as problematic to get involved with men.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Double]
    #26647728 - 05/04/20 08:23 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Double said:
Masturbation has saved my life man. Everytime i start to get motivated to ask a girl out on date, have a wonderful time, and some wonderful sex afterwards. BOOM! Masturbation is there for me. All i gotta do is bust a nut and I aint making plans with no girl no more. I ain't calling/texting nobody.

I just saved myself some money, time, and problems. It's problematic to get involved with women, not because women are the problem, but because im straight and thats what i get. Maybe we can ask the gay guys in the forum if its just as problematic to get involved with men.



man I'm tellin you

there is obviously always going to be two very different sides to this debate though.  There are those guys out there who have made it their primary goal in life to get involved with women and they don't see it like we do.

They see all the money spent, time wasted etc. as collateral costs of completing their mission or whatever.  They want to be this alpha male, female dominator, or some shit. 

They can have all that.

They look at people like us like we are missing out on something because we aren't having sex with real women all the time.  "gotta stop watching porn and masturbating or youll never go out and get a real women"  I get that argument for virgins and shit but that isn't the issue here.  Getting a real women isn't the issue. The issue is we want to be with ourselves, and own our selves, and have control over our fucking own lives.  You start bringing women into the picture and you become prone to being manipulated into their own fantasy princess visions of you in a fucking tuxedo, in a van with 5 kids, going to soccer games and all that horseshit. Next thing you know your life is fucking gone.  All those goals and dreams you had, gone.  You are now a workhorse for this stupid bitch and all her goals and dreams. 

Yeah man fuck that.


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InvisibleDouble
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26647747 - 05/04/20 08:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Add to that, that after you become all of that shit that just mentioned, they will cheat on you because your manliness is gone and you aint that guy no more.


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OfflineAlyssa
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26648093 - 05/04/20 11:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
alright. well.  how would amateur/homemade porn be considered rape?  Have you seen how many people(women) just willingly put themselves on the internet?

Shit.  You can even just go on tinder and these chicks are halfway exposing themselves these days.



Show me 1 video on a porn site that genuinely fits this criterion. It's obvious as fuck that none of it is being done because of female sexual desire, the system is always behind it.


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.


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Anonymous #6

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26648179 - 05/04/20 11:57 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Deep down, I don't like doing dishes. So if I decide to do it to make someone else happy and benefit me it's rape because I have feelings and I'm a strong independent woman!


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Anonymous #3

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #26649056 - 05/04/20 07:56 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Or it could be you mutually taking on tasks that makes it easier for your partner to take on tasks that ultimately benefit the group as a whole.  That’s what nobody who brings up the verse about how a woman should be subservient to the male gets.  Both become subservient to each other, ultimately benefiting the whole.  Tasks no longer become taxing, because you’re happy to do it for your partner, and that kicks off a never ending cycle that brings you together as opposed to causing division.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26649090 - 05/04/20 08:17 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alyssa said:
Show me 1 video on a porn site that genuinely fits this criterion. It's obvious as fuck that none of it is being done because of female sexual desire, the system is always behind it.




You want everyone to send you porn?


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa] * 1
    #26649893 - 05/05/20 06:44 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alyssa said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
alright. well.  how would amateur/homemade porn be considered rape?  Have you seen how many people(women) just willingly put themselves on the internet?

Shit.  You can even just go on tinder and these chicks are halfway exposing themselves these days.



Show me 1 video on a porn site that genuinely fits this criterion. It's obvious as fuck that none of it is being done because of female sexual desire, the system is always behind it.




man you are wrong.  Go to any porn site and there are amateur video/home made videos, of chicks in walmart parking lots and shit- by themselves- fucking themselves and recording it with their iphone. 

If that isn't fueled by their own desire and fantasy, the only other thing I can think would be causing it is them watching porn where chicks do the same thing for money because guys find it hot, and then they too want to be thought of as hot so they go and do it. 

And I will say in alot of the amateur videos the girls probably are just doing it because this whole porn thing has just become natural.  They just figure this is how the world works, they let someone film them but idk... I still think a lot of them get off on it. I know they do.

Everyone is different. But I would agree that porn is probably being used as some sort of a weapon to change how people think about sex and desensitize us.

but I really don't give a fuck at this point.  If it means staying out of shitty relationships and fucking everything that moves then I'll partake from time to time.  I wish I had the self control not to but I don't


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OfflineAlyssa
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26651075 - 05/05/20 03:37 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

It seems like you might be conflicted enough on the issue that there's a possibility you'll change your mind. I don't know if the shroomery allows porn to be posted in public but I think a mass debate should be coming.


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26651210 - 05/05/20 04:46 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alyssa said:
It seems like you might be conflicted enough on the issue that there's a possibility you'll change your mind. I don't know if the shroomery allows porn to be posted in public but I think a mass debate should be coming.




Sounds like you’re more than willing to get your fingers dirty to do the research needed.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26651236 - 05/05/20 04:55 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alyssa said:
It seems like you might be conflicted enough on the issue that there's a possibility you'll change your mind. I don't know if the shroomery allows porn to be posted in public but I think a mass debate should be coming.




I'm obviously conflicted. 

its an example of the classic battle between spiritual and physical. 

My soul believes it is wrong- and not really for the reasons you are bringing to the table- but because I just think its wrong to indulge yourself like an animal, when you can do it whenever and lean on it like a coping mechanism... it takes something away from a persons character in my opinion. 

But at the same time... fucking around with less than respectable women just for sex does the same exact thing. 

I'm left with no real solution so I choose the less damaging of the two.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26663874 - 05/11/20 06:11 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Alyssa said:
It seems like you might be conflicted enough on the issue that there's a possibility you'll change your mind. I don't know if the shroomery allows porn to be posted in public but I think a mass debate should be coming.




I'm obviously conflicted. 

its an example of the classic battle between spiritual and physical. 

My soul believes it is wrong- and not really for the reasons you are bringing to the table- but because I just think its wrong to indulge yourself like an animal, when you can do it whenever and lean on it like a coping mechanism... it takes something away from a persons character in my opinion. 

But at the same time... fucking around with less than respectable women just for sex does the same exact thing. 

I'm left with no real solution so I choose the less damaging of the two.




It’s not a classic battle between physical and spiritual (assuming there is a spiritual), that’s a controversy that we invented.

Why is it wrong to indulge “like an animal”? How does it take away from character? It sounds to me like you’re the victim of negative stereotypes about sexuality. There seems to be a surprising amount of people on this site with toxic views on sexuality and it’s probably why they don’t have a healthy mindset.

Granted I do think society puts too much value on sex, but that’s just as bad as “spiritually” that believes it holds you back (and those people usually end up stunted). People really need to stop warring against sex.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Anonymous #7

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Alyssa]
    #26700427 - 05/27/20 08:48 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Alyssa responded on 05/27/19 07:25 AM:

Sympathy and empathy are bullshit virtues anyway.


Clearly you want everything to work in YOUR favor and ONLY your favor. Believe it or not some people actually get the most love by giving others what they love. Based on most of your comments you only look at the negative side of the paradox. You have to give IT to get IT; it sounds like instead you've moved on to demanding IT.

You ask for help but then piss on anyone actually trying to do so.

You ranted about the economy in MM, yet when a reply about how to make unlimited funds without ever having to stand up from your computer, let alone leave your house, replied along the lines of, "Yea but then I'd have to give them my ID/SS." What job doesn't need your identification? You are either trolling, being lazy, or being a lazy troll.


Edited by Anonymous (05/29/20 04:22 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #26701681 - 05/28/20 11:57 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Bunch of retards in this thread lol


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #26704748 - 05/29/20 02:04 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Man, I couldn't have found this post at a more relevant time in my life. It's funny, but I was just having the same sort of feeling a few days ago... that the whole NoFap thing was all just bullshit. Funny enough, I came to this feeling after drinking some mushroom tea last weekend by myself. Tripping by myself is often a more introspective experience where I reflect on myself and some of my life choices. This time, I was reflecting on the fact that I hadn't watched porn in two years, and I was starting to wonder whether I had actually accomplished anything by abstaining from it for that long.

I was addicted to porn for sure from a young age. I started watching it when I was 13 (I'm 27 now), mostly as an escape. I lived in an extremely abusive household with a lot of yelling and pain. Porn served as an outlet where I could just enjoy myself in private. However, once I grew out of that environment and started living on my own, I realized that I was still using that "outlet" even though it didn't quite serve that purpose anymore. I was no longer surrounded by yelling and hitting all the time, but I was still watching porn. I tried stopping, but I couldn't. I felt so disgusted with myself, so powerless every time I tried to quit and couldn't. After a while, I just gave up on quitting. I figured it was just going to be a part of my life, even if I wasn't happy with it.

A little over two years ago, I found out about NoFap - specifically, via their website, which has a forum. I joined the forum and became a quite active member of that community. I sort of used it as a public journal to talk about my experience with quitting porn, and I found some of the community members to be very supportive in achieving my goals. It was difficult for me to do. It took a lot of self-reflection, focus, and time to break the habit I had developed at 13 and reinforced for 12 years after that. It might be relevant to note that I didn't stop masturbating during this time - I really only wanted to cut porn out of my life. I don't believe masturbation is bad for me. I think it's a healthy way to explore sexuality when a partner is unavailable.

Fast-forward about two years, and we arrive at this month: I hadn't watched any porn, and I was really happy about that. I felt so accomplished. I decided I no longer needed the support of the NoFap community, since I had become a lot more self-sufficient in staying away from porn. So, I said my goodbyes and wished them all luck. A lot of things have changed in my life over these past two years, and I was starting to reflect on that.

Then, I had this creepy feeling while I was tripping by myself and out for a walk at night. At first, it was distant, but eventually it became clear as day: I quit porn for two years, but I'm still not happy. It felt like I had been... kind of ripped off, if that makes sense. It feels like I had been sold some snake oil. I put so much work into something that I believed would improve myself, but I still felt like me, flaws and all.

I decided "fuck it", and a few days later, I decided to watch some porn. That was a surreal experience. So many old thought patterns and habits that I hadn't experienced in over two years came back up as though they had never gone away in the first place. It was like looking at a past version of myself. Immediately after I was finished, I felt so disappointed in myself. However, after reflecting on it for a few days, I realized that I was really only disappointed in breaking that commitment to stay away from porn for the rest of my life, for resetting that "days without porn" counter back to zero. Tbh, those are kind of shallow reasons to be disappointed in myself.

Though I felt disappointed, I slowly started to realize that this was all an extremely valuable experience for me. I realized a few things: for one matter, porn isn't going to make me happy. I think I'm always going to have a complicated relationship with it due to my background. However, I also realized that staying away from porn isn't going to make me happy, either. Happiness, peace of mind, enlightenment, whatever you want to call it - it isn't something that you can work towards and achieve through external work. It's something that comes and goes, like the ebb and flow of the tides. There are going to be times in life where I don't feel okay, and I have to trust that that's just a part of being alive. All things pass, whether it's happiness, dissatisfaction with yourself, or even life itself.

Changing external factors about yourself is easy. You can move to a new place, change your job, change the people you hang out with, exercise more, or quit using porn. I'm not saying doing any of those things are bad for you (in fact, exercise in particular is a really healthy thing to do), but they won't solve all of your problems, and none of those things are really *you*. In the end, I felt like quitting porn for two years was like leveling up a character in an RPG. I had trained the "NoFap skill" for two years, if that analogy makes any sense. However, it didn't really change who I am, fundamentally. If you aren't satisfied with yourself, or if you feel like life is meaningless, or if you feel deeply lonely and isolated, or if you feel anxious - whatever it is, abstaining from porn, masturbation, or other sexual habits isn't necessarily going to make that shit go away. Porn, for me, is a parallel issue to some other deeply-rooted personal issues I deal with, and the only way I stand a chance to make any progress on them is by looking within, identifying where I'm really at, and acknowledging that this is who I am, flaws n' all.

Now, I look at my life with a different set of priorities. I just want to be a compassionate person who continues to learn from my experiences, to love (both myself and others), and to express myself creatively. I want to keep myself aimed in that direction whether I'm watching porn or not.

Hope some of that helps you. Reading your story certainly helped me :smile:


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26704849 - 05/29/20 02:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I completely agree with ya, man. It's been a pleasure reading through this discussion and the things you've had to offer here.

I never had a problem with sex growing up, really. I wasn't raised in a particularly religious household or anything like that. I was always taught that we are, in fact, animals and that sex is a healthy part of being alive. The thing that surprised me the most was how quickly that healthy vantage point faded away as soon as I started diving into all this NoFap shit. For me, it wasn't a spiritual or religious thing (though it is for many members of that community), but rather a personal development thing. That is, I thought that it would improve my life if I abstained from sexual activity for a while. Spoiler alert: it didn't work. I'm still just as human as I was before. The problem is that now I have to un-learn a bunch of garbage that I picked up from that community so that I can feel okay about sex again.

I like the way you worded it, too: "warring against sex". That's really what it feels like a lot of the time when reading some of the things people have to say within the NoFap community. It's weird because I didn't believe any of that abstinence garbage before I joined the NoFap forums, but it definitely influenced me. I feel this sense of guilt surrounding sex that I had never felt before, and I think that'll just take some time to heal. The first step, I guess, is having the humility to admit that I was influenced into believing some toxic things about human sexuality. I know that a healthy, more balanced mindset is achievable.

You've reminded me of a few really important things as well: free will is illusory, there is no such thing as "redirecting sexual energy towards something more positive", and that there's nothing wrong with being an animal. Thank you for participating in this discussion. Your words have helped me more than you know.


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Offlinehogstomper
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #26704937 - 05/29/20 03:21 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

The times that I've traveled away from home/internet for an extended period of time, and therefore inadvertently nofapped, it's like reset my sexuality and I feel way better.  If I have sex with my woman every day I feel normal; If I wack off every day I start to feel lazy and irritable.  I think nofap is often meant for people with porn addictions who just can't jerk casually and end up ruining their psyche and avoiding potential relationships.


--------------------
no justice no peace.  black trans lives matter.


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: hogstomper]
    #26704946 - 05/29/20 03:26 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah, definitely not denying that abstaining from porn and masturbation can be useful for some people who are damaging their lives with those behaviors. I'm just sharing my own story.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #26706884 - 05/30/20 10:28 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #8 said:
Man, I couldn't have found this post at a more relevant time in my life. It's funny, but I was just having the same sort of feeling a few days ago... that the whole NoFap thing was all just bullshit. Funny enough, I came to this feeling after drinking some mushroom tea last weekend by myself. Tripping by myself is often a more introspective experience where I reflect on myself and some of my life choices. This time, I was reflecting on the fact that I hadn't watched porn in two years, and I was starting to wonder whether I had actually accomplished anything by abstaining from it for that long.

I was addicted to porn for sure from a young age. I started watching it when I was 13 (I'm 27 now), mostly as an escape. I lived in an extremely abusive household with a lot of yelling and pain. Porn served as an outlet where I could just enjoy myself in private. However, once I grew out of that environment and started living on my own, I realized that I was still using that "outlet" even though it didn't quite serve that purpose anymore. I was no longer surrounded by yelling and hitting all the time, but I was still watching porn. I tried stopping, but I couldn't. I felt so disgusted with myself, so powerless every time I tried to quit and couldn't. After a while, I just gave up on quitting. I figured it was just going to be a part of my life, even if I wasn't happy with it.

A little over two years ago, I found out about NoFap - specifically, via their website, which has a forum. I joined the forum and became a quite active member of that community. I sort of used it as a public journal to talk about my experience with quitting porn, and I found some of the community members to be very supportive in achieving my goals. It was difficult for me to do. It took a lot of self-reflection, focus, and time to break the habit I had developed at 13 and reinforced for 12 years after that. It might be relevant to note that I didn't stop masturbating during this time - I really only wanted to cut porn out of my life. I don't believe masturbation is bad for me. I think it's a healthy way to explore sexuality when a partner is unavailable.

Fast-forward about two years, and we arrive at this month: I hadn't watched any porn, and I was really happy about that. I felt so accomplished. I decided I no longer needed the support of the NoFap community, since I had become a lot more self-sufficient in staying away from porn. So, I said my goodbyes and wished them all luck. A lot of things have changed in my life over these past two years, and I was starting to reflect on that.

Then, I had this creepy feeling while I was tripping by myself and out for a walk at night. At first, it was distant, but eventually it became clear as day: I quit porn for two years, but I'm still not happy. It felt like I had been... kind of ripped off, if that makes sense. It feels like I had been sold some snake oil. I put so much work into something that I believed would improve myself, but I still felt like me, flaws and all.

I decided "fuck it", and a few days later, I decided to watch some porn. That was a surreal experience. So many old thought patterns and habits that I hadn't experienced in over two years came back up as though they had never gone away in the first place. It was like looking at a past version of myself. Immediately after I was finished, I felt so disappointed in myself. However, after reflecting on it for a few days, I realized that I was really only disappointed in breaking that commitment to stay away from porn for the rest of my life, for resetting that "days without porn" counter back to zero. Tbh, those are kind of shallow reasons to be disappointed in myself.

Though I felt disappointed, I slowly started to realize that this was all an extremely valuable experience for me. I realized a few things: for one matter, porn isn't going to make me happy. I think I'm always going to have a complicated relationship with it due to my background. However, I also realized that staying away from porn isn't going to make me happy, either. Happiness, peace of mind, enlightenment, whatever you want to call it - it isn't something that you can work towards and achieve through external work. It's something that comes and goes, like the ebb and flow of the tides. There are going to be times in life where I don't feel okay, and I have to trust that that's just a part of being alive. All things pass, whether it's happiness, dissatisfaction with yourself, or even life itself.

Changing external factors about yourself is easy. You can move to a new place, change your job, change the people you hang out with, exercise more, or quit using porn. I'm not saying doing any of those things are bad for you (in fact, exercise in particular is a really healthy thing to do), but they won't solve all of your problems, and none of those things are really *you*. In the end, I felt like quitting porn for two years was like leveling up a character in an RPG. I had trained the "NoFap skill" for two years, if that analogy makes any sense. However, it didn't really change who I am, fundamentally. If you aren't satisfied with yourself, or if you feel like life is meaningless, or if you feel deeply lonely and isolated, or if you feel anxious - whatever it is, abstaining from porn, masturbation, or other sexual habits isn't necessarily going to make that shit go away. Porn, for me, is a parallel issue to some other deeply-rooted personal issues I deal with, and the only way I stand a chance to make any progress on them is by looking within, identifying where I'm really at, and acknowledging that this is who I am, flaws n' all.

Now, I look at my life with a different set of priorities. I just want to be a compassionate person who continues to learn from my experiences, to love (both myself and others), and to express myself creatively. I want to keep myself aimed in that direction whether I'm watching porn or not.

Hope some of that helps you. Reading your story certainly helped me :smile:




man this reminds me of my experience quitting drugs...

I quit doing pills and smoking weed everyday like 2 years ago... and I often found myself standing on some illusive pedestal and looking down on everyone who still smoked weed and judging people who did drugs as if I was now somehow better than them, that I could help them and solve their problems because I had quit, etc.  Then life got pretty difficult for me and stressful due to unrelated shit, just life in general, and guess who started craving drugs.  Also, when this COVID shit hit, and I got laid off, I actually was feeling really disconnected from myself, from my spirituality, from GOD, and I had the time to dabble with some edibles and I had a great experience. 

the thing that I have learned and it seems you have learned as well is, nobody can define certain things as good and bad in a general sense.  Everything is so relative and dependent on so many subjective situational/circumstantial variables... but yet it is ingrained in us all the way we communicate and perceive others in society to generalize when we observe others and their behaviors/actions/lifestyles/choices etc. 

Every person is so complex and unique.  They might just be doing what is exactly right for them in that moment.  Who is anyone else to say that it is wrong.  And hell, sometimes we might be spot on when we judge someone else and generalize something about them... and I guess that is what makes it difficult.  The way our brains work sort of reinforces this tendency in us.  We make flash judgments to protect ourselves and make the right choices about who we interact with/respect/avoid.  So if we often see our judgments prove to be accurate, it's hard to know when they aren't unless we are proven wrong and we aren't always able to see that unfold. 

IDK. 

I also learned that when you quit something whether it be drugs or porn... and if you do it to better yourself, that is you do it to rid yourself of something in this moment to be better in the next... and then you constantly keep track of how long you have been free of that certain thing.. are you really free from it?  To me that's like making a promise to yourself to get rid of the rear view mirror in your car and then constantly looking over your shoulder while driving.  You get rid of the mirror so you can rid yourself of the tendency and option to look back while you focus completely on whats ahead and open up that space in your mind to whatever new opportunities lie ahead.  If you are counting days and shit, especially for two years, I feel like that habit you left behind still owns you to some extent. 

I think it would be better to just drop the ball here and there and relapse so long as you are still committed to moving forward.  You have to forgive yourself, and focus more on doing better than the fact that you relapsed. 



As far as porn goes I think it is fucking terrible.  I still stand by what i said earlier in the post.  It's way better to have a porn addiction than a real life vagina addiction.  The addiction to real sex comes with so many more downsides in my opinion.  But, then again, that is probably different for each individual.  I know when I watch porn because I am depressed... it's as good as heroin.. I get hooked until my nuts just can't even take it anymore.  I lose all fucking desire to do anything in the real world and I just feel like a total fuck up...but I also have the voice in the back of my head that says hey, I can just watch more porn and forget I am a fuck up.. TERRIBLE CYCLE.

I definitely think there are benefits from quitting porn.. you become more sensitized to life.  But there are then issues with being so sensitized to life... wanting to fuck every woman you come into contact with, and all that shit. 

It's a difficult game of finding a balance.  Or, finding a great fucking woman who you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with/having a kid with who will serve as your outlet for all that sexual energy.  Idk. 



I gotta say though I don't know how all those no fap guys in those forums don't fap, dont have sex, and still feel like men.  that's my issue as I have said in previous posts. In my experience if I haven't really taken control in a sexual situation whether it be imagined watching porn, or in real life having sex... I just feel like a wuss. And I know that is really shallow and stupid but that's how it is for me lately.  has to be hormones or something.


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26708155 - 05/31/20 12:01 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, I can relate to the feeling of standing on a pedestal, looking down at people who are still struggling with problems that I've overcome. I felt that way with porn for a while. In the end, I'm sure all that did was make me look like a jerk off (no pun intended), and it made me feel like a failure when I did watch porn again. That image of a better person that I had molded myself into backfired.

As for what you said about the difference between good and bad, I've thought about that a good amount, especially considering that I thought I was being "good" by quitting porn for so long. The thing about good and bad is that they create one another. Good doesn't mean anything without bad to contrast it with. The moment I started believing I was becoming a better person is the same moment I allowed myself to do something I perceived as bad. The more deeply I started to believe that I was being a good person, the taller that illusory pedestal became in my mind. I guess what I'm trying to say is that good and bad are two halves of a single whole, and that when either one is taken to the extreme, it can start to act like the other. To that end, I guess the growth that I went through is that it's not very useful to think of people as good or bad. People are all a mixture of the two, really, and every action has consequences.

I also totally understand what you mean about keeping track of how long you've been sober (or porn-free, or whatever you wanna call it). Over the past two years, I thought about porn (even if it was just how relieved I was that I wasn't watching it) more than I ever did while I was watching it frequently. In the end, it wasn't the porn that had a stranglehold over me. It was me that had a stranglehold over me.

For now, I'm just focusing on forgiving myself and trying to distinguish between ideas that are useful to me and ideas that only exist to hold me back. For example, one thought I had when I started watching porn again is that I failed to keep my commitment to stay away from the stuff - therefore, I'm a failure. That thought doesn't serve me at all, no matter how true it may be. It will only hold me back, and if I truly believe that I'm a failure, that will impact other aspects of my life as well. As I'm sure you're aware, there are also a lot of toxic ideas that come from the NoFap community as well. Basically, I'm just trying to figure out which seeds I want to keep planted in the garden of my mind, if that makes sense.

As for porn being "fucking terrible", I don't think it's so obvious. It's clear that it can harm people when used without moderation or control, but I don't think it's always harmful. At the very least, I'd say it's risky to get involved with it, because some people are susceptible to addiction with it and whatnot. There's also a question of how it impacts your sex life, and I don't think there's an obvious answer there, either. Personally, I think I'll always have a complicated relationship with porn, but I'm slowly starting to realize that that's nothing I need to get too torn up over. There will be times where it's distressing for me, but that's okay. The important thing is that I remain aware of where I'm at with it.

TBH, I don't really know what it means to "be a man". The differences between masculinity and femininity vary between cultures, which suggests to me that "manliness" is a man-made idea. Personally, my own view of masculinity isn't tied in with the frequency of my sexual activity, so I don't feel like a wuss if I haven't fapped / had sex in a while. Everyone is different, though!


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Anonymous #1

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #26708546 - 05/31/20 06:28 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #8 said:
Yes, I can relate to the feeling of standing on a pedestal, looking down at people who are still struggling with problems that I've overcome. I felt that way with porn for a while. In the end, I'm sure all that did was make me look like a jerk off (no pun intended), and it made me feel like a failure when I did watch porn again. That image of a better person that I had molded myself into backfired.

As for what you said about the difference between good and bad, I've thought about that a good amount, especially considering that I thought I was being "good" by quitting porn for so long. The thing about good and bad is that they create one another. Good doesn't mean anything without bad to contrast it with. The moment I started believing I was becoming a better person is the same moment I allowed myself to do something I perceived as bad. The more deeply I started to believe that I was being a good person, the taller that illusory pedestal became in my mind. I guess what I'm trying to say is that good and bad are two halves of a single whole, and that when either one is taken to the extreme, it can start to act like the other. To that end, I guess the growth that I went through is that it's not very useful to think of people as good or bad. People are all a mixture of the two, really, and every action has consequences.

I also totally understand what you mean about keeping track of how long you've been sober (or porn-free, or whatever you wanna call it). Over the past two years, I thought about porn (even if it was just how relieved I was that I wasn't watching it) more than I ever did while I was watching it frequently. In the end, it wasn't the porn that had a stranglehold over me. It was me that had a stranglehold over me.

For now, I'm just focusing on forgiving myself and trying to distinguish between ideas that are useful to me and ideas that only exist to hold me back. For example, one thought I had when I started watching porn again is that I failed to keep my commitment to stay away from the stuff - therefore, I'm a failure. That thought doesn't serve me at all, no matter how true it may be. It will only hold me back, and if I truly believe that I'm a failure, that will impact other aspects of my life as well. As I'm sure you're aware, there are also a lot of toxic ideas that come from the NoFap community as well. Basically, I'm just trying to figure out which seeds I want to keep planted in the garden of my mind, if that makes sense.

As for porn being "fucking terrible", I don't think it's so obvious. It's clear that it can harm people when used without moderation or control, but I don't think it's always harmful. At the very least, I'd say it's risky to get involved with it, because some people are susceptible to addiction with it and whatnot. There's also a question of how it impacts your sex life, and I don't think there's an obvious answer there, either. Personally, I think I'll always have a complicated relationship with porn, but I'm slowly starting to realize that that's nothing I need to get too torn up over. There will be times where it's distressing for me, but that's okay. The important thing is that I remain aware of where I'm at with it.

TBH, I don't really know what it means to "be a man". The differences between masculinity and femininity vary between cultures, which suggests to me that "manliness" is a man-made idea. Personally, my own view of masculinity isn't tied in with the frequency of my sexual activity, so I don't feel like a wuss if I haven't fapped / had sex in a while. Everyone is different, though!




well i say it is terrible because it's just too easy.  You watch it, you get off, and you can go back to it whenever you want for whatever reason and get off and get off and get off again.  When you are naturally 'horny', and you find a woman, and you fuck her... you both feel fucking great afterwards.  I never have watched porn and proceeded to go through the remainder of the day feeling like a conquering beast.  I usually feel like a whimp trying to hide my shame. Some of that might just be due to a certain level of stigma associated with watching porn/masturbating but I think a lot of it is because I know it's fake.. I know its just a method of dopamine release like all the other vices we all use and don't need.  It makes me weak. 

Also, you watch that shit and you build associations in your mind that translate into your subconscious associations/judgments in real life.  I know when I have watched alot of it I start looking at women I see in real life and thinking of them in the situations I saw in porn.  And if you really think about that, that is really fucked up.  A woman who might have just gotten out of church or visiting her mother in the hospital or something, who I could interact with with compassion and kindness and maybe sprout a relationship with her maybe shes my soul mate who knows, but I just watched porn this morning and I can't think of her any other way than on all fours and naked and sweaty.  lol...and so the interaction is awkward and short. 

I don't think a lot of people think about shit like that.  They just assume their naughty thoughts like that are deep in their own mind and don't effect how their day/interactions unfold but they do, people can read that something aint right with you.

And then, there are alot of times I have been watching porn and you just notice a trend of shitty people.. there seems to be a lot of decent people who get involved with porn but there are SO many shitty ones.  You can just tell by watching them. idk.  There is just a dirty vibe about all of it. 

not ALL of it, but a lot of it. 


And again. I'm not writing it off completely.



when I say I don't feel like a man if I haven't had sex in a while I mean... I just start feeling like a pacifist or something... like a guy who just lets life roll and never reaches out and takes anything for himself.  and i feel like other people sense that and start taking advantage of me, my kindness etc. I sort of believe this too.. in my experience I have gone out and gotten laid, boosted my self esteem and people seem to respect me more..


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OfflineBrahmastra
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26710132 - 05/31/20 10:02 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I think it’s more about having a healthy outlook on sexuality.

You do have a point about counting the days because you aren’t really rid of it at that stage, you just worry about “sinking back down”.

As for porn I look at it as a tool, one where you am safely explore things that interest you without hurting someone (obviously certain forms excludes). Like any tool there is the potential for abuse but from what studies suggest porn addiction is less about the porn itself and rather a symptom of a deeper issue within you. It’s the same with any addiction, it’s just medicating for something else.

Also “feeling like a man” is a loaded term, mostly rooted in the cultural idea of toxic masculinity. One can be firm without being a doormat but such traits aren’t exclusive to men.


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OfflineBrahmastra
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Brahmastra]
    #26710247 - 06/01/20 12:10 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Also I’d like to add that the counting of days doesn’t exactly mean it still has a hold. It can also serve as a reminder that you don’t need the thing you are formerly addicted to. An alcoholic who forgets what happened can easily slide back down again but by reminding themselves how long they went without a drink it lessens that “need” feeling they get for a drink.

It depends how you use it, everything can be a tool depending on your mindset and everything can be abused like anything else. It’s when you start labeling good and bad that you run into trouble. It’s largely why I don’t buy the “transmute sexual energy” because it usually is running from it.

I kinda agree on some of the thoughts on porn but I think porn is more a symptom of the problem society seems to have with sexuality. We call it taboo and that toxic relationship bleeds into many aspects of society. For crying out loud we don’t even have decent sex ed.


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26711427 - 06/01/20 12:43 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I never have watched porn and proceeded to go through the remainder of the day feeling like a conquering beast.  I usually feel like a whimp trying to hide my shame. Some of that might just be due to a certain level of stigma associated with watching porn/masturbating but I think a lot of it is because I know it's fake.. I know its just a method of dopamine release like all the other vices we all use and don't need.  It makes me weak.




In my experience, the shame I felt about viewing porn was just as damaging as porn itself (if not more). The shame was originally planted in me by my parents, who had very strict and disapproving views about porn. After a while, it became somewhat of a reflex for me. The shame was what prevented me from reaching out about it for so long when, ironically, reaching out was the thing that really started the healing process for me. Once I started talking with people I trusted about porn, I realized that porn usage is far more common than I originally thought, and that the shame surrounding it is also common.

The really fucked up part is that, even though I was "clean" for two years and didn't watch any porn at all, I still felt so ashamed about it the entire time. It was a deep, painful flavor of shame that was more like a complete disgust with myself. I would look back at my past while meditating and think "wow, I used to be such a disgusting porn addict. Fuck me." I don't think that's a healthy way to be looking at myself at all.

I'm not saying that porn is harmless. It, like any other piece of technology or drug we come across, can be used or abused. I guess I'm just saying that the shame I felt surrounding my porn habits only made matters worse, and it's been much harder for me to weed out the deep-rooted shame in my life than it was for me to simply quit viewing porn.

Quote:

Also, you watch that shit and you build associations in your mind that translate into your subconscious associations/judgments in real life.  I know when I have watched alot of it I start looking at women I see in real life and thinking of them in the situations I saw in porn.  And if you really think about that, that is really fucked up.  A woman who might have just gotten out of church or visiting her mother in the hospital or something, who I could interact with with compassion and kindness and maybe sprout a relationship with her maybe shes my soul mate who knows, but I just watched porn this morning and I can't think of her any other way than on all fours and naked and sweaty.  lol...and so the interaction is awkward and short.




In my opinion, it's perfectly natural for you to imagine a woman you're attracted to all naked and sweaty. It's a part of being human to be sexually attracted to someone and to entertain the idea of having sex with them in positions you find enjoyable. It's not an evil vision that needs to be weeded out from your mind. It's just a thought, like anything else that flows through your head. I find that it's easier to just let the sexual imagery flow through me rather than trying to fight it. It feels more authentic, and I don't feel like I'm hiding anything. Throughout my life, I've been able to maintain platonic friendships with many women I find attractive, and I think the only way I was able to maintain those friendships was by allowing myself to feel attracted to them and to, sometimes, think about them in a sexual way. If I had tried fighting against those feelings, I think I would have just wound up pushing them away.

Quote:

I don't think a lot of people think about shit like that.  They just assume their naughty thoughts like that are deep in their own mind and don't effect how their day/interactions unfold but they do, people can read that something aint right with you.




I think it's a lot easier for someone to read that something ain't right with you when you believe there's something wrong with you. If having an innate biological desire to have sex with someone you find attractive is shameful for you, that internal struggle might show itself in your actions. However, if you are comfortable with the sexual feelings you have, then there's nothing to be ashamed of, and you'll realize that there's nothing wrong with you, and your interactions with people you feel attracted to will feel more normal.

Quote:

when I say I don't feel like a man if I haven't had sex in a while I mean... I just start feeling like a pacifist or something... like a guy who just lets life roll and never reaches out and takes anything for himself.  and i feel like other people sense that and start taking advantage of me, my kindness etc. I sort of believe this too.. in my experience I have gone out and gotten laid, boosted my self esteem and people seem to respect me more..



I'd consider myself a pacifist, for the most part. I'm against violence unless it is literally the only option. I don't think there's anything unmanly about being a pacifist.

I'm thinking you might have meant to say that you feel passive, which is a position where you're not taking any action. A passive person typically allows other people to take action. While being passive isn't always the best approach in all situations, being passive can be incredibly useful in some situations. For example, when you have a mosquito bite, scratching at it (taking action) only makes it worse. The best solution to a mosquito bite is simply to leave it alone - to be passive. I don't think that being passive is unmanly. Sometimes, it's the smartest thing to do.

Finally, I think attaching your self esteem to how active your sex life is will only bring suffering in the long term. Eventually, your sexuality will fade. There will be points in your life where sex is unavailable, and as you get older it will be more and more difficult to achieve erections. I think it's wiser to derive self-esteem from a source that doesn't depend on the frailty of the human body.


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Anonymous #8

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Brahmastra]
    #26711448 - 06/01/20 12:51 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Brahmastra said:
I think it’s more about having a healthy outlook on sexuality.

You do have a point about counting the days because you aren’t really rid of it at that stage, you just worry about “sinking back down”.

As for porn I look at it as a tool, one where you am safely explore things that interest you without hurting someone (obviously certain forms excludes). Like any tool there is the potential for abuse but from what studies suggest porn addiction is less about the porn itself and rather a symptom of a deeper issue within you. It’s the same with any addiction, it’s just medicating for something else.

Also “feeling like a man” is a loaded term, mostly rooted in the cultural idea of toxic masculinity. One can be firm without being a doormat but such traits aren’t exclusive to men.



This is a really useful comment, I think. That fear of "sinking back down" was definitely damaging to me. It left me in a perpetual state of tension for about two years, where I constantly believed I was a filthy addict even though I wasn't giving in to my compulsion at all during that time. It's healthy to use a daily counter as a lens for seeing how far you've come along, but it becomes a problem when it only serves as a reminder of old habits you aren't proud of, perpetuating the feelings of shame and resentment towards yourself.

I like the idea of looking at porn as a tool. I think of drugs the same way. Tools are morally neutral - their usage is the morally relevant part. Using porn as a tool for exploring sexuality and entertaining fantasies is fine, but it can crush you if it's used as a medication for a deeper-rooted issue. I'm discovering that it's much more worth my time to address the deeper-rooted issues than it is to worry myself sick over how much porn I'm watching.


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OfflineBrahmastra
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #26712138 - 06/01/20 06:44 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Rarely is porn the issue.

Like any addiction the problem is usually something else, but it’s easy to blame the object because the issue is more nebulous and complex.


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OfflineTotodile386
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NoFap Is Not Bullshit [Re: Brahmastra]
    #26824595 - 07/15/20 08:13 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Hi,

I couldn't disagree more.

I say programs like NoFap are what society needs the most, even if they don't even know it.

Do you even fucking know what "porno" comes from? -- "Porn" and "fornication" mean the same thing; they come from the same origin word.

Do you know what "fornication" is? It's adultery -- cheating, cucking -- sin! SIN!

Porn is literally sin.

It is written in the Scripture: Do not commit fornication/adultery. (Exodus 20)

So, why not? Well, there's no excuse to do so.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." -- Jesus Christ (Matthew 5)

"She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore." -- Jeremiah 3:8

Fornication, which is ABSOLUTELY level with porno, is sin, and what's more insidious, it is sin against your own body. Porno is a great evil done under the sun, and people, mainly men, fail to even realize this until it's much too late.

But don't fret too much. This was predicted in the Scripture.

Proverbs 7:
(1) My son, keep my words
    and store up my direction within you.
(2) Keep my direction, and you will live;
    guard my teachings as the apple of your eye!
(3) Bind them on your fingers;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
(4) Say to wisdom, “You are my fellow sister,”
    and to insight, “You are my kin relative.”
(5) They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
    from the unsustainable woman with her empty, seductive words.

(6) At the window of my house
    I looked down through the lattice.
(7) I saw among the simple,
    I noticed among the young men,
    a youth who had no sense.
(8) He was going down the street near her (the prostitute's) corner,
    walking along in the direction of her house

(9) at twilight, as the day was fading,
    as the dark of night set in.

(10) Then out came a woman to meet him,
    dressed like a prostitute and with wayward intent.
(11) She is unpredictable and defiant,
    her feet never stay at home;
(12) now in the street, now in the squares,
    at every corner she lurks.
(13) She took hold of him and kissed him
    and with a brazen face she said:

(14) “Today I fulfilled my obligations,
    and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
(15) So I came out to meet you;
    I looked for you and have found you!
(16) I have covered my bed
    with colored linens from Egypt.
(17) I have perfumed my bed
    with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
(18) Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
    let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
(19) My husband is not at home;
    he has gone on a long journey.
(20) He took his purse filled with money
    and will not be home till full moon.”

(21) With persuasive words she led him astray;
    she seduced him with her smooth talk.
(22) All at once he followed her
    like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose
(23)    till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
    little knowing it will cost him his livelihood.

(24) Now then, my sons, listen to me;
    pay attention to what I say.
(25) Let not your heart turn to her ways
    or stray into her paths.
(26) Many are the victims she has brought down;
    her defeated are a mighty crowd.
(27) Her house is the fast-track to the grave,
    leading down to the chambers of death.

Also, have you ever had a drug that was "adulterated"? That's what porno and sin does to your very soul when you let it! :mad:

Definition of adulterated:

a·dul·ter·ate
/əˈdəltəˌrāt/
verb
past tense: adulterated; past participle: adulterated
render (something) poorer in quality by adding another substance, typically an inferior one.


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Anonymous #1

Re: NoFap Is Not Bullshit [Re: Totodile386]
    #26825698 - 07/15/20 05:50 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Totodile386 said:
Hi,

I couldn't disagree more.

I say programs like NoFap are what society needs the most, even if they don't even know it.

Do you even fucking know what "porno" comes from? -- "Porn" and "fornication" mean the same thing; they come from the same origin word.

Do you know what "fornication" is? It's adultery -- cheating, cucking -- sin! SIN!

Porn is literally sin.

It is written in the Scripture: Do not commit fornication/adultery. (Exodus 20)

So, why not? Well, there's no excuse to do so.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." -- Jesus Christ (Matthew 5)

"She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore." -- Jeremiah 3:8

Fornication, which is ABSOLUTELY level with porno, is sin, and what's more insidious, it is sin against your own body. Porno is a great evil done under the sun, and people, mainly men, fail to even realize this until it's much too late.

But don't fret too much. This was predicted in the Scripture.

Proverbs 7:
(1) My son, keep my words
    and store up my direction within you.
(2) Keep my direction, and you will live;
    guard my teachings as the apple of your eye!
(3) Bind them on your fingers;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
(4) Say to wisdom, “You are my fellow sister,”
    and to insight, “You are my kin relative.”
(5) They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
    from the unsustainable woman with her empty, seductive words.

(6) At the window of my house
    I looked down through the lattice.
(7) I saw among the simple,
    I noticed among the young men,
    a youth who had no sense.
(8) He was going down the street near her (the prostitute's) corner,
    walking along in the direction of her house

(9) at twilight, as the day was fading,
    as the dark of night set in.

(10) Then out came a woman to meet him,
    dressed like a prostitute and with wayward intent.
(11) She is unpredictable and defiant,
    her feet never stay at home;
(12) now in the street, now in the squares,
    at every corner she lurks.
(13) She took hold of him and kissed him
    and with a brazen face she said:

(14) “Today I fulfilled my obligations,
    and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
(15) So I came out to meet you;
    I looked for you and have found you!
(16) I have covered my bed
    with colored linens from Egypt.
(17) I have perfumed my bed
    with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
(18) Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
    let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
(19) My husband is not at home;
    he has gone on a long journey.
(20) He took his purse filled with money
    and will not be home till full moon.”

(21) With persuasive words she led him astray;
    she seduced him with her smooth talk.
(22) All at once he followed her
    like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose
(23)    till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
    little knowing it will cost him his livelihood.

(24) Now then, my sons, listen to me;
    pay attention to what I say.
(25) Let not your heart turn to her ways
    or stray into her paths.
(26) Many are the victims she has brought down;
    her defeated are a mighty crowd.
(27) Her house is the fast-track to the grave,
    leading down to the chambers of death.

Also, have you ever had a drug that was "adulterated"? That's what porno and sin does to your very soul when you let it! :mad:

Definition of adulterated:

a·dul·ter·ate
/əˈdəltəˌrāt/
verb
past tense: adulterated; past participle: adulterated
render (something) poorer in quality by adding another substance, typically an inferior one.




I feel you man. But. This doesnt provide solution to the issue i mentioned.  You ever notice how many guys are stuck with some chick they knocked up or are just dating for sex.  What if they just decided to choose the lesser of two evils? Sometimes totally abstaining is just beyond somepeoples level of self discipline


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: NoFap Is Not Bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26825723 - 07/15/20 06:07 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

(1) My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
    turn your ear to my words of insight,
(2) that you may maintain discretion
    and your lips may preserve knowledge.
(3) For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
    and her speech is smoother than oil;
(4) but in the end she is vile as gall,
    splintery as a double-edged sword.
(5) Her feet go down to loss;
    her steps lead straight to the grave.
(6) She gives no thought to the way of life;
    her paths wander aimlessly, and she does not know it.

The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Consider it pure joy, my fellows, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance! Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, Who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."


Edited by Totodile386 (07/15/20 06:09 PM)


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Anonymous #9

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Totodile386]
    #26825875 - 07/15/20 07:48 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

My advice for the OP from the perspective of other gender is to consider being at least semi-honest with the current girl about where the relationship is or isn't going.

OP, it's decent that at least you're conflicted over the fact that you're carrying on this relationship that you don't think is going to go anywhere. But whatever you decide to do about this NoFap question, also consider that there's someone else with feelings involved too.

You said that the first night you hooked up, she was reticent about it being a one night thing and you said what she wanted to hear even though it wasn't what you felt. But you also said that she's still coming around and that you think the sex is great.

Maybe she thinks the sex it great too. Maybe if you used a combination of the truth and some white lies to make her feel respected, she would be ok with continuing just a sexual relationship.

Maybe that sounds totally naive and I'll get laughed at for even suggesting it, but I would be open to such an arrangement with the right partner under the right circumstances, so it's not impossible.

It's definitely not cool to let a girl think you might be into more of a relationship in time, when you really have known since the beginning that you don't feel that way about her and are just in it for the sex. I don't know if you ever go out on actual dates or pretend to care about her in other ways, but even if you are really just hooking up for sex, if you don't tell her where you stand she might have hopes for more and it will be hurtful when you eventually end it.

There's nothing wrong with having a relationship that's only about sex, as long as both parties are ok with that. And then you could probably solve your dilemma by just carrying in more or less as you are, but without feeling like you're being pressured into a relationship you don't want to be in.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #26825926 - 07/15/20 08:08 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #9 said:
My advice for the OP from the perspective of other gender is to consider being at least semi-honest with the current girl about where the relationship is or isn't going.

OP, it's decent that at least you're conflicted over the fact that you're carrying on this relationship that you don't think is going to go anywhere. But whatever you decide to do about this NoFap question, also consider that there's someone else with feelings involved too.

You said that the first night you hooked up, she was reticent about it being a one night thing and you said what she wanted to hear even though it wasn't what you felt. But you also said that she's still coming around and that you think the sex is great.

Maybe she thinks the sex it great too. Maybe if you used a combination of the truth and some white lies to make her feel respected, she would be ok with continuing just a sexual relationship.

Maybe that sounds totally naive and I'll get laughed at for even suggesting it, but I would be open to such an arrangement with the right partner under the right circumstances, so it's not impossible.

It's definitely not cool to let a girl think you might be into more of a relationship in time, when you really have known since the beginning that you don't feel that way about her and are just in it for the sex. I don't know if you ever go out on actual dates or pretend to care about her in other ways, but even if you are really just hooking up for sex, if you don't tell her where you stand she might have hopes for more and it will be hurtful when you eventually end it.

There's nothing wrong with having a relationship that's only about sex, as long as both parties are ok with that. And then you could probably solve your dilemma by just carrying in more or less as you are, but without feeling like you're being pressured into a relationship you don't want to be in.




The problem with the relationship is summed up by these:

"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."

But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'

and

"Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the LORD your God."


Edited by Totodile386 (07/15/20 08:09 PM)


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Anonymous #10

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26825971 - 07/15/20 08:39 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Instead of NoFap, let's have AllFap, where you have to fap every day (and no other kind of sexual activity) for a month.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #26825989 - 07/15/20 08:54 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #10 said:
Instead of NoFap, let's have AllFap, where you have to fap every day (and no other kind of sexual activity) for a month.




Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensationality, idols, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.


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Anonymous #10

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Totodile386]
    #26826243 - 07/16/20 02:16 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Totodile386 said:
orgies



Oh no, not orgies! Anything but orgies! :aliceshocker:

Quote:

I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.



Well luckily the magical man in the sky who watches you poop doesn't exist so it's not much of a warning.

Plus masturbation is good for you, way better than abstaining. It has mental and physical health benefits and it feels good. In fact, masturbation probably decreases enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, and stuff like that. Masturbation saves lives!


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #26826396 - 07/16/20 06:45 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #10 said:
Oh no, not orgies! Anything but orgies! :aliceshocker:

Well luckily the magical man in the sky who watches you poop doesn't exist so it's not much of a warning.

Plus masturbation is good for you, way better than abstaining. It has mental and physical health benefits and it feels good. In fact, masturbation probably decreases enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, and stuff like that. Masturbation saves lives!




To your first statement, our God of Creation is most certainly not "magical skyman", so I guess you're right. I mean, unless you're insinuating that the One Holy God is a supposed "magical skyman who does unmentionable acts", which I don't want to say is what you're saying, because that's a fundamental misunderstanding of what the One God is, and if that's what you're saying, you're committing blasphemy!
I mean, in which case, cursed are you. No, really, woe to you, for you masquerade like a heathen angel of understanding, but inside, you are full of the bones of the dead, and all uncleanness. Let all the people see the obduracy of your wicked heart. :thumbdown:

To your second statement, no. No, no, no, no, no. First of all, sexual gratification is not equal to porno. It is evident that the daevil has created this false association in your head, and led you astray with false teaching, as though porno will make you live longer when it won't. Secondly, sexual gratification doesn't "benefit your health" any more than getting addicted to crack does, with all due respect for crack. Again, you are bowing down and worshiping this false daevil who tried to teach you something like "masturbating to sin will make you live longer", when it really doesn't.

The sad part is I know a portion of society is following this same exact daevil, committing people to an empty, sinful way, and it will destroy you. I'm just one person who tried to help, so you cannot say no one held out for you.

https://lifehopeandtruth.com/prophecy/prophets/prophets-of-the-bible/malachi-the-prophet/


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Totodile386] * 2
    #26826429 - 07/16/20 07:20 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

If you want to see something blasphemous, check out the thread in the pub where you can ask god a question because he’s being channeled through an administrator.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #26826479 - 07/16/20 08:08 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
If you want to see something blasphemous, check out the thread in the pub where you can ask god a question because he’s being channeled through an administrator.




Declared blasphemy and reported that thread.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Totodile386]
    #26826547 - 07/16/20 09:01 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Totodile386 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
If you want to see something blasphemous, check out the thread in the pub where you can ask god a question because he’s being channeled through an administrator.




Declared blasphemy and reported that thread.




You reported it? Really?  That’s an administrator’s thread, it’s there to stay.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #26826573 - 07/16/20 09:13 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Shroomery is cracking down on half-baked mods and admins. Shroomery isn't retarded.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26826579 - 07/16/20 09:13 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

This thread has been closed.

Reason:
Thread has drifted an ocean away from OP topic.


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