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Registered: 05/03/19 Posts: 796 Loc: |
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Add to that, that after you become all of that shit that just mentioned, they will cheat on you because your manliness is gone and you aint that guy no more.
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consecrated woman ✝️ Registered: 11/25/14 Posts: 1,517 Last seen: 5 days, 1 minute |
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Quote: Show me 1 video on a porn site that genuinely fits this criterion. It's obvious as fuck that none of it is being done because of female sexual desire, the system is always behind it. -------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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Anonymous #6 |
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Deep down, I don't like doing dishes. So if I decide to do it to make someone else happy and benefit me it's rape because I have feelings and I'm a strong independent woman!
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Anonymous #3 |
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Or it could be you mutually taking on tasks that makes it easier for your partner to take on tasks that ultimately benefit the group as a whole. That’s what nobody who brings up the verse about how a woman should be subservient to the male gets. Both become subservient to each other, ultimately benefiting the whole. Tasks no longer become taxing, because you’re happy to do it for your partner, and that kicks off a never ending cycle that brings you together as opposed to causing division.
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Anonymous #5 |
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Quote: You want everyone to send you porn?
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: man you are wrong. Go to any porn site and there are amateur video/home made videos, of chicks in walmart parking lots and shit- by themselves- fucking themselves and recording it with their iphone. If that isn't fueled by their own desire and fantasy, the only other thing I can think would be causing it is them watching porn where chicks do the same thing for money because guys find it hot, and then they too want to be thought of as hot so they go and do it. And I will say in alot of the amateur videos the girls probably are just doing it because this whole porn thing has just become natural. They just figure this is how the world works, they let someone film them but idk... I still think a lot of them get off on it. I know they do. Everyone is different. But I would agree that porn is probably being used as some sort of a weapon to change how people think about sex and desensitize us. but I really don't give a fuck at this point. If it means staying out of shitty relationships and fucking everything that moves then I'll partake from time to time. I wish I had the self control not to but I don't
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consecrated woman ✝️ Registered: 11/25/14 Posts: 1,517 Last seen: 5 days, 1 minute |
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It seems like you might be conflicted enough on the issue that there's a possibility you'll change your mind. I don't know if the shroomery allows porn to be posted in public but I think a mass debate should be coming.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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Anonymous #5 |
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Quote: Sounds like you’re more than willing to get your fingers dirty to do the research needed.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: I'm obviously conflicted. its an example of the classic battle between spiritual and physical. My soul believes it is wrong- and not really for the reasons you are bringing to the table- but because I just think its wrong to indulge yourself like an animal, when you can do it whenever and lean on it like a coping mechanism... it takes something away from a persons character in my opinion. But at the same time... fucking around with less than respectable women just for sex does the same exact thing. I'm left with no real solution so I choose the less damaging of the two.
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Stranger Registered: 01/19/15 Posts: 2,770 Loc: South Florida Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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Quote: It’s not a classic battle between physical and spiritual (assuming there is a spiritual), that’s a controversy that we invented. Why is it wrong to indulge “like an animal”? How does it take away from character? It sounds to me like you’re the victim of negative stereotypes about sexuality. There seems to be a surprising amount of people on this site with toxic views on sexuality and it’s probably why they don’t have a healthy mindset. Granted I do think society puts too much value on sex, but that’s just as bad as “spiritually” that believes it holds you back (and those people usually end up stunted). People really need to stop warring against sex. -------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Anonymous #7 |
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Alyssa responded on 05/27/19 07:25 AM:
Sympathy and empathy are bullshit virtues anyway. Clearly you want everything to work in YOUR favor and ONLY your favor. Believe it or not some people actually get the most love by giving others what they love. Based on most of your comments you only look at the negative side of the paradox. You have to give IT to get IT; it sounds like instead you've moved on to demanding IT. You ask for help but then piss on anyone actually trying to do so. You ranted about the economy in MM, yet when a reply about how to make unlimited funds without ever having to stand up from your computer, let alone leave your house, replied along the lines of, "Yea but then I'd have to give them my ID/SS." What job doesn't need your identification? You are either trolling, being lazy, or being a lazy troll. Edited by Anonymous (05/29/20 04:22 PM)
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Anonymous #4 |
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Bunch of retards in this thread lol
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Anonymous #8 |
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Man, I couldn't have found this post at a more relevant time in my life. It's funny, but I was just having the same sort of feeling a few days ago... that the whole NoFap thing was all just bullshit. Funny enough, I came to this feeling after drinking some mushroom tea last weekend by myself. Tripping by myself is often a more introspective experience where I reflect on myself and some of my life choices. This time, I was reflecting on the fact that I hadn't watched porn in two years, and I was starting to wonder whether I had actually accomplished anything by abstaining from it for that long.
I was addicted to porn for sure from a young age. I started watching it when I was 13 (I'm 27 now), mostly as an escape. I lived in an extremely abusive household with a lot of yelling and pain. Porn served as an outlet where I could just enjoy myself in private. However, once I grew out of that environment and started living on my own, I realized that I was still using that "outlet" even though it didn't quite serve that purpose anymore. I was no longer surrounded by yelling and hitting all the time, but I was still watching porn. I tried stopping, but I couldn't. I felt so disgusted with myself, so powerless every time I tried to quit and couldn't. After a while, I just gave up on quitting. I figured it was just going to be a part of my life, even if I wasn't happy with it. A little over two years ago, I found out about NoFap - specifically, via their website, which has a forum. I joined the forum and became a quite active member of that community. I sort of used it as a public journal to talk about my experience with quitting porn, and I found some of the community members to be very supportive in achieving my goals. It was difficult for me to do. It took a lot of self-reflection, focus, and time to break the habit I had developed at 13 and reinforced for 12 years after that. It might be relevant to note that I didn't stop masturbating during this time - I really only wanted to cut porn out of my life. I don't believe masturbation is bad for me. I think it's a healthy way to explore sexuality when a partner is unavailable. Fast-forward about two years, and we arrive at this month: I hadn't watched any porn, and I was really happy about that. I felt so accomplished. I decided I no longer needed the support of the NoFap community, since I had become a lot more self-sufficient in staying away from porn. So, I said my goodbyes and wished them all luck. A lot of things have changed in my life over these past two years, and I was starting to reflect on that. Then, I had this creepy feeling while I was tripping by myself and out for a walk at night. At first, it was distant, but eventually it became clear as day: I quit porn for two years, but I'm still not happy. It felt like I had been... kind of ripped off, if that makes sense. It feels like I had been sold some snake oil. I put so much work into something that I believed would improve myself, but I still felt like me, flaws and all. I decided "fuck it", and a few days later, I decided to watch some porn. That was a surreal experience. So many old thought patterns and habits that I hadn't experienced in over two years came back up as though they had never gone away in the first place. It was like looking at a past version of myself. Immediately after I was finished, I felt so disappointed in myself. However, after reflecting on it for a few days, I realized that I was really only disappointed in breaking that commitment to stay away from porn for the rest of my life, for resetting that "days without porn" counter back to zero. Tbh, those are kind of shallow reasons to be disappointed in myself. Though I felt disappointed, I slowly started to realize that this was all an extremely valuable experience for me. I realized a few things: for one matter, porn isn't going to make me happy. I think I'm always going to have a complicated relationship with it due to my background. However, I also realized that staying away from porn isn't going to make me happy, either. Happiness, peace of mind, enlightenment, whatever you want to call it - it isn't something that you can work towards and achieve through external work. It's something that comes and goes, like the ebb and flow of the tides. There are going to be times in life where I don't feel okay, and I have to trust that that's just a part of being alive. All things pass, whether it's happiness, dissatisfaction with yourself, or even life itself. Changing external factors about yourself is easy. You can move to a new place, change your job, change the people you hang out with, exercise more, or quit using porn. I'm not saying doing any of those things are bad for you (in fact, exercise in particular is a really healthy thing to do), but they won't solve all of your problems, and none of those things are really *you*. In the end, I felt like quitting porn for two years was like leveling up a character in an RPG. I had trained the "NoFap skill" for two years, if that analogy makes any sense. However, it didn't really change who I am, fundamentally. If you aren't satisfied with yourself, or if you feel like life is meaningless, or if you feel deeply lonely and isolated, or if you feel anxious - whatever it is, abstaining from porn, masturbation, or other sexual habits isn't necessarily going to make that shit go away. Porn, for me, is a parallel issue to some other deeply-rooted personal issues I deal with, and the only way I stand a chance to make any progress on them is by looking within, identifying where I'm really at, and acknowledging that this is who I am, flaws n' all. Now, I look at my life with a different set of priorities. I just want to be a compassionate person who continues to learn from my experiences, to love (both myself and others), and to express myself creatively. I want to keep myself aimed in that direction whether I'm watching porn or not. Hope some of that helps you. Reading your story certainly helped me
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Anonymous #8 |
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I completely agree with ya, man. It's been a pleasure reading through this discussion and the things you've had to offer here.
I never had a problem with sex growing up, really. I wasn't raised in a particularly religious household or anything like that. I was always taught that we are, in fact, animals and that sex is a healthy part of being alive. The thing that surprised me the most was how quickly that healthy vantage point faded away as soon as I started diving into all this NoFap shit. For me, it wasn't a spiritual or religious thing (though it is for many members of that community), but rather a personal development thing. That is, I thought that it would improve my life if I abstained from sexual activity for a while. Spoiler alert: it didn't work. I'm still just as human as I was before. The problem is that now I have to un-learn a bunch of garbage that I picked up from that community so that I can feel okay about sex again. I like the way you worded it, too: "warring against sex". That's really what it feels like a lot of the time when reading some of the things people have to say within the NoFap community. It's weird because I didn't believe any of that abstinence garbage before I joined the NoFap forums, but it definitely influenced me. I feel this sense of guilt surrounding sex that I had never felt before, and I think that'll just take some time to heal. The first step, I guess, is having the humility to admit that I was influenced into believing some toxic things about human sexuality. I know that a healthy, more balanced mindset is achievable. You've reminded me of a few really important things as well: free will is illusory, there is no such thing as "redirecting sexual energy towards something more positive", and that there's nothing wrong with being an animal. Thank you for participating in this discussion. Your words have helped me more than you know.
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Strangler Registered: 03/11/05 Posts: 100 Last seen: 2 years, 2 months |
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The times that I've traveled away from home/internet for an extended period of time, and therefore inadvertently nofapped, it's like reset my sexuality and I feel way better. If I have sex with my woman every day I feel normal; If I wack off every day I start to feel lazy and irritable. I think nofap is often meant for people with porn addictions who just can't jerk casually and end up ruining their psyche and avoiding potential relationships.
-------------------- no justice no peace. black trans lives matter.
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Anonymous #8 |
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Yeah, definitely not denying that abstaining from porn and masturbation can be useful for some people who are damaging their lives with those behaviors. I'm just sharing my own story.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: man this reminds me of my experience quitting drugs... I quit doing pills and smoking weed everyday like 2 years ago... and I often found myself standing on some illusive pedestal and looking down on everyone who still smoked weed and judging people who did drugs as if I was now somehow better than them, that I could help them and solve their problems because I had quit, etc. Then life got pretty difficult for me and stressful due to unrelated shit, just life in general, and guess who started craving drugs. Also, when this COVID shit hit, and I got laid off, I actually was feeling really disconnected from myself, from my spirituality, from GOD, and I had the time to dabble with some edibles and I had a great experience. the thing that I have learned and it seems you have learned as well is, nobody can define certain things as good and bad in a general sense. Everything is so relative and dependent on so many subjective situational/circumstantial variables... but yet it is ingrained in us all the way we communicate and perceive others in society to generalize when we observe others and their behaviors/actions/lifestyles/cho Every person is so complex and unique. They might just be doing what is exactly right for them in that moment. Who is anyone else to say that it is wrong. And hell, sometimes we might be spot on when we judge someone else and generalize something about them... and I guess that is what makes it difficult. The way our brains work sort of reinforces this tendency in us. We make flash judgments to protect ourselves and make the right choices about who we interact with/respect/avoid. So if we often see our judgments prove to be accurate, it's hard to know when they aren't unless we are proven wrong and we aren't always able to see that unfold. IDK. I also learned that when you quit something whether it be drugs or porn... and if you do it to better yourself, that is you do it to rid yourself of something in this moment to be better in the next... and then you constantly keep track of how long you have been free of that certain thing.. are you really free from it? To me that's like making a promise to yourself to get rid of the rear view mirror in your car and then constantly looking over your shoulder while driving. You get rid of the mirror so you can rid yourself of the tendency and option to look back while you focus completely on whats ahead and open up that space in your mind to whatever new opportunities lie ahead. If you are counting days and shit, especially for two years, I feel like that habit you left behind still owns you to some extent. I think it would be better to just drop the ball here and there and relapse so long as you are still committed to moving forward. You have to forgive yourself, and focus more on doing better than the fact that you relapsed. As far as porn goes I think it is fucking terrible. I still stand by what i said earlier in the post. It's way better to have a porn addiction than a real life vagina addiction. The addiction to real sex comes with so many more downsides in my opinion. But, then again, that is probably different for each individual. I know when I watch porn because I am depressed... it's as good as heroin.. I get hooked until my nuts just can't even take it anymore. I lose all fucking desire to do anything in the real world and I just feel like a total fuck up...but I also have the voice in the back of my head that says hey, I can just watch more porn and forget I am a fuck up.. TERRIBLE CYCLE. I definitely think there are benefits from quitting porn.. you become more sensitized to life. But there are then issues with being so sensitized to life... wanting to fuck every woman you come into contact with, and all that shit. It's a difficult game of finding a balance. Or, finding a great fucking woman who you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with/having a kid with who will serve as your outlet for all that sexual energy. Idk. I gotta say though I don't know how all those no fap guys in those forums don't fap, dont have sex, and still feel like men. that's my issue as I have said in previous posts. In my experience if I haven't really taken control in a sexual situation whether it be imagined watching porn, or in real life having sex... I just feel like a wuss. And I know that is really shallow and stupid but that's how it is for me lately. has to be hormones or something.
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Anonymous #8 |
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Yes, I can relate to the feeling of standing on a pedestal, looking down at people who are still struggling with problems that I've overcome. I felt that way with porn for a while. In the end, I'm sure all that did was make me look like a jerk off (no pun intended), and it made me feel like a failure when I did watch porn again. That image of a better person that I had molded myself into backfired.
As for what you said about the difference between good and bad, I've thought about that a good amount, especially considering that I thought I was being "good" by quitting porn for so long. The thing about good and bad is that they create one another. Good doesn't mean anything without bad to contrast it with. The moment I started believing I was becoming a better person is the same moment I allowed myself to do something I perceived as bad. The more deeply I started to believe that I was being a good person, the taller that illusory pedestal became in my mind. I guess what I'm trying to say is that good and bad are two halves of a single whole, and that when either one is taken to the extreme, it can start to act like the other. To that end, I guess the growth that I went through is that it's not very useful to think of people as good or bad. People are all a mixture of the two, really, and every action has consequences. I also totally understand what you mean about keeping track of how long you've been sober (or porn-free, or whatever you wanna call it). Over the past two years, I thought about porn (even if it was just how relieved I was that I wasn't watching it) more than I ever did while I was watching it frequently. In the end, it wasn't the porn that had a stranglehold over me. It was me that had a stranglehold over me. For now, I'm just focusing on forgiving myself and trying to distinguish between ideas that are useful to me and ideas that only exist to hold me back. For example, one thought I had when I started watching porn again is that I failed to keep my commitment to stay away from the stuff - therefore, I'm a failure. That thought doesn't serve me at all, no matter how true it may be. It will only hold me back, and if I truly believe that I'm a failure, that will impact other aspects of my life as well. As I'm sure you're aware, there are also a lot of toxic ideas that come from the NoFap community as well. Basically, I'm just trying to figure out which seeds I want to keep planted in the garden of my mind, if that makes sense. As for porn being "fucking terrible", I don't think it's so obvious. It's clear that it can harm people when used without moderation or control, but I don't think it's always harmful. At the very least, I'd say it's risky to get involved with it, because some people are susceptible to addiction with it and whatnot. There's also a question of how it impacts your sex life, and I don't think there's an obvious answer there, either. Personally, I think I'll always have a complicated relationship with porn, but I'm slowly starting to realize that that's nothing I need to get too torn up over. There will be times where it's distressing for me, but that's okay. The important thing is that I remain aware of where I'm at with it. TBH, I don't really know what it means to "be a man". The differences between masculinity and femininity vary between cultures, which suggests to me that "manliness" is a man-made idea. Personally, my own view of masculinity isn't tied in with the frequency of my sexual activity, so I don't feel like a wuss if I haven't fapped / had sex in a while. Everyone is different, though!
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: well i say it is terrible because it's just too easy. You watch it, you get off, and you can go back to it whenever you want for whatever reason and get off and get off and get off again. When you are naturally 'horny', and you find a woman, and you fuck her... you both feel fucking great afterwards. I never have watched porn and proceeded to go through the remainder of the day feeling like a conquering beast. I usually feel like a whimp trying to hide my shame. Some of that might just be due to a certain level of stigma associated with watching porn/masturbating but I think a lot of it is because I know it's fake.. I know its just a method of dopamine release like all the other vices we all use and don't need. It makes me weak. Also, you watch that shit and you build associations in your mind that translate into your subconscious associations/judgments in real life. I know when I have watched alot of it I start looking at women I see in real life and thinking of them in the situations I saw in porn. And if you really think about that, that is really fucked up. A woman who might have just gotten out of church or visiting her mother in the hospital or something, who I could interact with with compassion and kindness and maybe sprout a relationship with her maybe shes my soul mate who knows, but I just watched porn this morning and I can't think of her any other way than on all fours and naked and sweaty. lol...and so the interaction is awkward and short. I don't think a lot of people think about shit like that. They just assume their naughty thoughts like that are deep in their own mind and don't effect how their day/interactions unfold but they do, people can read that something aint right with you. And then, there are alot of times I have been watching porn and you just notice a trend of shitty people.. there seems to be a lot of decent people who get involved with porn but there are SO many shitty ones. You can just tell by watching them. idk. There is just a dirty vibe about all of it. not ALL of it, but a lot of it. And again. I'm not writing it off completely. when I say I don't feel like a man if I haven't had sex in a while I mean... I just start feeling like a pacifist or something... like a guy who just lets life roll and never reaches out and takes anything for himself. and i feel like other people sense that and start taking advantage of me, my kindness etc. I sort of believe this too.. in my experience I have gone out and gotten laid, boosted my self esteem and people seem to respect me more..
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Stranger Registered: 05/26/20 Posts: 44 Last seen: 3 years, 7 months |
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I think it’s more about having a healthy outlook on sexuality.
You do have a point about counting the days because you aren’t really rid of it at that stage, you just worry about “sinking back down”. As for porn I look at it as a tool, one where you am safely explore things that interest you without hurting someone (obviously certain forms excludes). Like any tool there is the potential for abuse but from what studies suggest porn addiction is less about the porn itself and rather a symptom of a deeper issue within you. It’s the same with any addiction, it’s just medicating for something else. Also “feeling like a man” is a loaded term, mostly rooted in the cultural idea of toxic masculinity. One can be firm without being a doormat but such traits aren’t exclusive to men.
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