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Anonymous #1
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I think No Fap is bullshit
#26583930 - 04/07/20 12:36 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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So the no fap trend has made me call into question masturbation over and over again over the last few years. A while back I participated in this and didn't 'fap' for close to a year if not longer. Looking back at that time, I did have a much clearer mind, I was able to focus more and my days/priorities/goals everything were much more defined. That is, if I had a goal, if I had something to do over the course of a day or even 6 months, it would always be clear in my mind. I would never get sidetracked by my own drifting thoughts/focus and other peoples bullshit was clear as day especially when it was intentionally aimed at distracting me from my goal.
I also had quit doing all drugs just before this period of 'no fap', so I am not sure if one or the other caused this clarity or both. If both, I'm not sure which played a bigger role. I also had developed a no lose philosophy, constantly repeating mantras in my head saying losing or being unhappy was not an option. This also contributed to clarity.
Eventually though, most likely due to the combination of stress and being horny as fuck, I gave in to sexual urges. At first since I had sworn off pornography and I viewed watching a few vids and getting a quick release as more detrimental than finding a random woman and fucking her, I did just that and found a random woman and we fucked a few times over the course of two nights. The sex was barbaric, animalistic, just primal devastation resulting from all my pent up sexual energy. I mean, we did some nasty shit that wasn't even discussed, just totally unconscious sexual urges that manifested themselves uncontrollably on my behalf. I felt bad the next day, as if I had just scarred this woman for life. I felt bad again when she expected to see me again and I had to make up some cute bullshit excuse as to why I didn't think it would work out. In reality I didn't find her very attractive and she just wasn't my type at all. Total downgrade for me, was not the kind of woman you bring home to mom.
Shortly after this, still encased in the aura of shame and regret from the experience, I meet another young lady that I am not very attracted to physically, but my hornyness and her slutty demeanor just meshed automatically. Before long against all logic and reason I invite her to my place with the intentions of fucking her and right before it happens she expresses her concern that it will be a one night thing, so of course, being a guy with a semi-hard dick ready to go to war I say some stupid shit consisting of the assurance that it will not be a meaningless one night fuck. Fast forward months and months later, this woman is still coming around regularly, the sex is fucking amazing, but I am feeling crowded and forced to participate in a relationship I don't want to be in.
Now if we can just go back to the day I deemed pornography and 'fapping' a destructive thing to do, and decide otherwise, that it is a perfectly healthy and safer alternative to fucking random women and getting involved in shitty relationships that consume all your time, energy, and emotional freedom, none of this shit would have ever happened and I might have had the time to discover a cure for cancer or some shit.
so this is where I am at with 'no fap'. Sure, it might allow you to focus and have more clarity, but what good is that focus and clarity going to do when you get involved with some bitch you don't really even like just so you can get a nut in a way you deem superior to jacking off? The only way I can get down with 'no fap' is if you also abstain from fucking women too, or if you actually are in a relationship with a respectable women you plan to be with for the long run and you only allow yourself to get off with her. Otherwise, all of the benefits are going to be constantly tested by the fact that you are a man and you need to release your fucking seed.
I always considered myself more level headed than most, but let me tell you, having a years worth of sexual tension just brewing beneath the surface made me the most confused and divided I had ever been in my entire life. I understand how porn can be destructive to young kids and men who never leave the house, I understand it can provide a false sense of accomplishment, it inhibits their drive to seek out the real deal, but for those of us who have little issue getting out and getting the real deal and interacting with women, who have shit to lose and things to do, I can no longer agree that porn is this evil thing.
I have been testing this out for a few months, going without fapping and porn, and then trying it out again. I make the most impulsive and regrettable decisions involving women when I have not 'fapped' within a few days prior to making the decision. I would say after about the 3rd or 4th day, I will compromise plans and goals I was completely committed to and excited to tackle in pursuit of a momentary orgasm fucking some girl which is always followed by regret and a wasted morning the next day while I wait for the girl to leave. Not to mention these types of encounters often end up involving alcohol. When I come across the opportunity to get laid and I have satisfied myself within the aforementioned time frame, that animal desire that would otherwise suffocate any ability to reason, it just doesn't even exist. I am able to prioritize rationally and do the RIGHT THING for myself.
I am very curious what other men have to say about this. I don't necessarily believe what I have said is true for everyone either, I know in my early 20's and late teens even, I never 'fapped'. I only did it when the desire was intense, which wasn't as often as it has become in my late 20's. I think it must have to do with hormones increasing in what my body considers it's 'prime'. I love being an intellectual person, being able to think rationally and be reasonable, but ever since my sexual desire began increasing like this, I feel like all the fucking irresponsible meatheads I used to shake my head at in high school.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#26584531 - 04/07/20 05:34 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.
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Anonymous #1
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Anonymous #2 said: The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.
Well, that's another thing I got hung up on. When I was experiencing a lot of clarity and I guess you could say 'higher levels of consciousness', it was great and everything but I think one of the reasons I started developing such strong sexual desires (apart from the hormonal element) was that I felt like less of a man. It was like regardless of the benefits and the clarity and being so 'with it', I felt like others were seeing me as this virgin or something that lacked a strong male essence, and not only did it feel like others saw this in me, I felt it in myself. It's like sex is an element of life and just like good nutrition we are lacking if we don't get a decent portion of it.
There is a huge noticeable difference in social situations now, especially around women, compared to the time when I was abstaining from everything. When I was abstaining I think I was completely blind to sexual cues, I was probably timid when I did pick up on them because anything involving sex was just - I didn't know how to handle it, reject it, etc. also, feeling like less of a man for not having been with a woman for a while my confidence was lower. I think I was even less assertive and stable when talking to other men. Now, after my streak of fucking random women and having sex consistently, all of that seemed to change. When I am around women now it's like effortless confidence, and its obvious they pick up on it and react to it and it changes the entire dynamic. Before it was as if I had something to prove to the women and now it seems like they now have something to prove to me.
But yeah. Balance. That's a hard one for me. Currently I am trying to let a relationship die but the sex keeps roping me back in. I've told myself 40 times now "I'm just gonna fuck her one last time". Every time I end up having her over 3-4 nights in a row. When I get the damn thought of it in my head I just can't let it go, and it seems that the one night, the one last time, is just never enough. Its crazy. I never thought I would end up a person that is addicted to sex... I never gave a fuck about it before. Now I can't imagine going 2 weeks or more without it.
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Anonymous #3
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A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him. Until that takes place the games continue.
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Anonymous #4
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Sounds more like low t to me. Abstaining is supposed to increase sexual urge. Id recommend heavy excersice to increase t levels if you feel like 'less of a man'.
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Anonymous #1
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Anonymous #3 said: A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him. Until that takes place the games continue.
word. very well said. lol
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Anonymous #4 said: Sounds more like low t to me. Abstaining is supposed to increase sexual urge. Id recommend heavy excersice to increase t levels if you feel like 'less of a man'.
I'm sure during that time I could have been exercising more, but I had no lack of sexual urge, I was actually bothered often by sexual thoughts every time I had a casual encounter with women in public. They were thinking about how nice a guy I was and I was thinking about all the ways I could dominate them sexually. Got to be pretty annoying honestly. But I wasn't feeling like a man because I had no recent sexual experiences, so women became more intimidating. When you have recently laid out a few women and just sexually taken control of them and made them quiver and shriek and just fold for you, that sense of power and control as a man undeniably carries over into other aspects of your life. I think I was lacking that.
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Anonymous #4
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For me nofap gives me more confidence in myself talking to women. It makes really beautiful women a lot less intimidating to strike up conversation with and decreases a lot of the social anxiety.
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The Mycologist
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Registered: 05/06/16
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#26586483 - 04/08/20 02:02 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I gotta fap so I can think about the important stuff.
Those damn women cloud my mind.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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Anonymous #1
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Anonymous #4 said: For me nofap gives me more confidence in myself talking to women. It makes really beautiful women a lot less intimidating to strike up conversation with and decreases a lot of the social anxiety.
I guess, I can and can't relate. If I come into contact with a really attractive chick and I know I just fapped to some less then respectable adult content the night before, my confidence might take a hit. Also, I totally get that it only makes sense that a guy would have more confidence talking to women if he has some ammunition in the chamber so to speak.
On the other hand if you haven't fapped or had sex in weeks I can also see (based on my experiences) how all that sexual tension could cause you to say some stupid shit or, the sexual thoughts could get in the way of interacting at all. And also like I said, in my experience I felt like a prude nice guy. Women don't want prude nice guys in my experience, they want primal animalistic guys who will rip their clothes off and dominate them.
I guess its a really subjective matter... Could have really just been my experience at that time. I know more recently when I haven't fapped for a while and I do fall into the trap of inviting a chick over instead of just fapping, the sex is fucking great. Compared to if I have fapped the sex seems like I am just going through the motions.
Bottom line still is this... I gotta fucking fap to prevent myself from getting involved in stupid relationships, or hanging out with chicks primarily just for sex. The shame and consequences of fapping are much less than the shame and consequences of fucking women casually all the time. Like... it has really taken a toll on my productivity and I could probably be in a much better place than I am today if I just jacked off instead of had sex in certain circumstances. But thats me
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Anonymous #1
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The Mycologist said: I gotta fap so I can think about the important stuff.
Those damn women cloud my mind.
yeah man. its crazy. I have sat in front of my computer debating between fapping and inviting a chick over, I tell myself neither...and after imagining myself screwing the chick 80 different ways for 2 hours while I pretend to focus on important shit I go back to consciously debating and after I decide to and complete a successful fap session I realize I could have just fapped 3 hours prior and focused on important shit for an extra 2 hours.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #2] 1
#26587762 - 04/09/20 12:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: The idea of no fap originates from certain spiritual practices, where release of sexual energy is detrimental to meditation and attaining higher levels of consciousness. But, what's really happening in those spiritual practices is that people learn how to transmute and transform the energy of their sexual desire, not to repress it. Sexual desire is the most powerful urge, period. Sounds like you learnt the hard way exactly what happens when we try to coerce ourselves like this. Sorry you had to go through that. Similar patterns can be seen in other areas of life, for example when people starve themselves and call it 'dieting', only to absolutely binge further down the line. It seems like moderation and healthy balance is the key for anyone wanting to limit sexual release to improve their focus and drive etc.
It's more like religion/spirituality has a habit of suppressing a natural aspect of humanity in the BELIEF that it leads to some higher state (spoiler it doesn't and there aren't any). There is no such thing as transmuting the energy of sexual desire.
That being said NoFap is BS. There isn't any evidence that it does what it claims to do and it's very damaging to people's well-being. It doesn't improve focus or drive. However if you are masturbating EVERY day then it's something you might want to look into.
Nothing makes you "less of a man", that's just more societal bullshit.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Thanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#26588333 - 04/09/20 08:51 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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You guys make sex sound like a bad thing which is why your rules/obsessed by it. The amount of people who tried to “transform” that energy failed and that’s how you end up with those sexual assault scandals by gurus, monks, and priests. That’s what happens when you make an enemy of something that isn’t it. I swear you guys’ attitude isn’t that different from Christians really.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Thanatos10
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Registered: 01/19/15
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Anonymous #3 said: A man’s got to swing his dick as opposed to his dick swinging him. Until that takes place the games continue.
There isn’t a difference between the two. For a forum on psychedelics you have some repressive views on sexuality
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
#26588890 - 04/09/20 01:36 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I don’t think you have any clue as to what that means then.
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Thanatos10
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Registered: 01/19/15
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Anonymous #3 said: I don’t think you have any clue as to what that means then.
I mean if you are implying it in cases of rape or like the OP with them staying in a relationship just because the sex is great then I can see it.
But maybe the fault is in your saying and a misunderstanding that we have any true control over our actions. Free will is but an illusion after all.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#26589040 - 04/09/20 02:58 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you. I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.
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Thanatos10
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Anonymous #3] 1
#26589055 - 04/09/20 03:07 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Anonymous #3 said: You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you. I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.
I can promise those vibes are just in your head.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think No Fap is bullshit [Re: Thanatos10]
#26589281 - 04/09/20 05:04 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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a man's got to mitigate the vibes, as opposed to letting the vibes mitigate him.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
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Anonymous #1 said: a man's got to mitigate the vibes, as opposed to letting the vibes mitigate him.
Vibes are just your imagination and are terribly misleading.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Anonymous #5
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Anonymous #3 said: You have do not engage vibes pouring off of you. I’m going to follow my instinct on this one.
That would be a good instinct.
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