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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: thirdstan]
    #26583311 - 04/07/20 06:18 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

thirdstan said:
Get him to start a vegetable garden at least you will get something out of it for your money.




Well, I actually pitched this to him. If you're gonna be obsessed with plants, at least be obsessed in something that bears fruit. He wholly objected to it, because he likes the minimalist lawn aesthetic.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: Babylon]
    #26583313 - 04/07/20 06:22 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Babylon said:
One option is to replace the lawn with what I call a Tucson Lawn, it's what everyone has in Tucson because grass doesn't really grow there.

Gravel, just put gravel on top of everything.  Tell him you're going for something that reminds you of home.




I'd have to buy a ton of gravel...

But even so, I don't feel like I own my own property. I feel like I'm a communist here, conforming to everyone else's ideal - the perfect lawn.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26583316 - 04/07/20 06:25 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
omg you live next to Hank Hill.



I would put my foot down at this point. Lawns suck to begin with, so environmentally unfriendly. I would rip out all my grass, and plant clover, and bask in his fury.



But really though, on a more practical note, take care of your lawn the way you want to - presumably by having someone else come periodically to tend to it, and next time he tries to do anything to your lawn, or say anything, call him up. Tell him that right now you're happy with your lawn, and you appreciate all his help and stuff, but that you're satisfied with it right now and you have other things to focus on. I would let him down easy on the chemical stuff and let him know that you're tightening to the purse strings and that you'd can't pay him to treat your lawn anymore.



Chances are he thinks he's waaay more helpful than he is, he might even think that this is a common topic you guys are doing some neighborly bonding on - he also might just be a pain in the ass, hell, those things are far from mutually exclusive. I would try and treat it a bit like a break up, let him down easy.




Nah, we ain't bonding over this topic. He tried early on. He would say shit like, "We'll make a green thumb out of you yet."

I told him, "Nah," straight up. I said I have testosterone deficiency and bad knees, and I told him very clearly manual labor depresses me.

Everytime he tries to get me to do lawn shit with him and he asks me when I'm available, I tell him I'm available after sunset.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26583318 - 04/07/20 06:29 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Lawns are (mostly) preposterous :peyotezen:


https://www.permaculturenews.org/2016/06/03/why-our-lawns-are-bad-for-the-environment-and-how-to-change-them-for-the-better/




I agree. I've always thought lawns were idiotic. I literally don't give a shit about grass. Why am I paying $120 a month to have someone mow it?


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: Ice9] * 1
    #26583323 - 04/07/20 06:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Ice9 said:
Start a garden, ask him to tend/weed/feed it.  So much more practical than a lawn.  Pay him in excess vegetables/aromatics/whatevers that grow.  Dude sounds lonely, spend a few minutes indulging him, but broaden the conversation slowly to things you do five a shit about.  Set a boundary that this not just some one sided lawn nazi thing




He's not lonely. He has a girlfriend and two sons, grandchildren, etc.

Once, we had a 36 hour power outage. He was calling me from his girlfriend's house for updates on whether the power had come back on. I told him to call the power company himself to complain and pressure them to get the power back up and running, but he would just keep calling me for more updates.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #26583324 - 04/07/20 06:36 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Once you  are older and get over your funny feelings toward people,  you’ll see this guy as a treasure.

Once older, you realize taking care of a lawn is just as important and great as taking care of your shroom grows.

Sounds like you’ve got an opportunity to have a neighborly friend and bond over something shared.

Also, earplugs are like 99 cents and work.

Hope you work it out.

Sloppy lawns make me  :crankey:


I used to have similar tendencies that you speak of, but it’s just a pattern of behavior and it becomes conditioned, but I had an older neighbor back in the day that was similar in nature, and I didn’t want to be social, but he was always out tending to the lawn, tending to the garden, etc

Eventually through seeing I could either stop being a cunt wad, or keep being one, I forged a friendship with him.

Over the years we’ve helped each other out, person to person, fam to fam.  We lend each other one another’s tools  frequently, and we go golfing together every now and then, and he’s let us use his beach house on several occasions. 

Glad I got over a fear that was rooted in ignorance.  :thumbup:




If minding my own business and tending to my own interests, is being a "cunt wad," I'm content to be a cunt wad.

I have a lot of interests. Grass isn't one of them, and it never will be.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: Asclepius]
    #26583326 - 04/07/20 06:38 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Asclepius said:
This certainly sounds like a precarious situation.  On the one hand, you could give a flying fuck about the grass.  On the other hand, you don't want to piss off your neighbor and still have to see him everyday.  That sounds rough, man.  I would personally ask him to do the yard work for free.  Every time you see him, pretend like you need some yard related advice and ask him if he will do the work for free.  Bombard him day after day, asking him to do free yard work for you, and he will eventually avoid you at all cost. That's what I would do.  Make it so uncomfortable for him that he can't stand to talk with you, but do it in such a sincere way that he will not turn into a nightmare neighbor either.  You don't want for a war to be started.




This sounds like the most diplomatic suggestion, so far, but I'd be terrible at executing it.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26583327 - 04/07/20 06:39 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

watermelon mon said:
I would personally bake this man a decorative gourmet cake.

Life is pretty brutal and short, so just be friendly.




Being friendly is what got me in this jam to begin with.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: InfiniteDreams]
    #26583329 - 04/07/20 06:40 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

InfiniteDreams said:
Yeah, I get the spirit of taking pride in something and appearance.  And the old guy means well and wants a friendly neighbor.  That's all good.

But suburban lawns are an awful social convention that is destroying the local environment.  All those poisons he dumps in his lawn and yours don't stay there, they run off with the water and go on to poison your surrounding environment.  Many things they kill serve a vital purpose in an ecosystem.




I agree. But tell that to a boomer/silent generation retiree whose only pride and joy is grass.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: Thrill]
    #26583335 - 04/07/20 06:45 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Thrill said:
So your neighbor is a nice lonely old man whos interested in grass who just wants someone to talk to. Idk man, maybe just be a good person and indulge the guy. Listen to him talk for a bit once or twice a week. Let him play with your yard, cause it sounds like he genuinely enjoys it.

People usually arent kind and friendly wanting to help, mostly they just hate and cheat and steal and shit.




Sorry, I'm severely introverted, and I don't have the energy to indulge anybody about something I don't give a shit about.

And he's not helping. I prefer he leave me alone.

I don't impose my interests on other people who have no mutual interest or desire to share those interests. He has a girlfriend, two sons, grandkids, friends, plenty of fuckin resources and places he can go to find likeminded individuals to indulge him.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: psi]
    #26583348 - 04/07/20 06:55 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

psi said:
Quote:

cinderblock said:
It got so bad, I just gave him my landscaper's phone number, so he could communicate directly to the guy who tends to my lawn. Eventually, he and my landscaper had a falling out, and long story short, I got a new landscaper.

Anyway, my neighbor has been charging me around $300-400 a year for treating my lawn with various chemicals and shit like fertilizer, grub killer, moss killer, crab grass killer, aerating, etc etc. He only charges me for the ingredients, not his labor, but again, I honestly don't give a shit. I just pay him so he'll stop bothering me.




I think this is where you really went wrong, never should have agreed to paying this guy anything. What you're describing sounds like extortion.

My suggestion would be to inform him you don't want him doing anything to your lawn any more, and think about obtaining a dog.




Gah, I wish I could, but I feel like it's too late for me, and I have too much anxiety to confront him now. Grass is the meaning of life for him. It's like telling an animal activist their dog is ugly.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #26583352 - 04/07/20 06:55 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Oh..never saw you were paying him, even so that’s not much for a year.  But still, if you don’t want it tell him you won’t have his service anymore, and you don’t pay if he does.  Just cut the damn thing yourself, no need to add special treatments to keep it clean or organized.




He doesn't cut my lawn. He only treats it. I pay someone else $120 per month to cut it.


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Offlinecinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: R.I.P.Zappa]
    #26583355 - 04/07/20 07:02 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

R.I.P.Zappa said:
Yeah I think when you get older you'll see the finer things life like the simple blades of grass hes seeing.:lmafo:

I don't get the lawn buffs, like monster trucks for retired old men. :justdontknow:

Sometimes it's best to let people know up front how ya feel before they invest there emotions or expectations of you. 

Like the old and true saying, give the man a inch and he will take it a mile. :oogle:




He gaslit me from day 1. It's a long story, if I get into it, honestly.

But I feel like he set me up.

The first exchange we ever had when I first moved in, was about my grass. He warned me that if I don't remove all the fallen leaves from my lawn before the snow starts, it'll kill the grass, and he warned me that replanting the grass will cost me more headache and money.

I remember looking around and pointing across the street to another house, which was buried in leaves, and the old man who was boomer/silent generation just shook his head in utter disgust and said, "I've given up on them."

And I think from that point on, everytime I agreed to some bullshit he wanted me to do for my grass, was an effort to make him feel like I wasn't a "lost cause" like the house across the street.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: cinderblock] * 1
    #26583385 - 04/07/20 07:32 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

So you follow along with whatever he says because you felt like it was a compliment? Your wife is real hot can she suck my dick? Buddy the problem isn't that you're being non-confrontational, this is way beyond that. You're being a coward, and by doing so you're putting yourself down. Or maybe you just like having something to complain about. Or he reminds you of your grandpa, ect. The reason he's getting on you is for two reasons. He likes a nice, organized and clean living space. And, his equity. He's also a nosey fucker. Have you considered that you could buy a badass lawnmower with the money you spend on having someone do your lawn? Maybe if you weren't so bougie/lazy about it he wouldn't think you give a shit. Here, repeat after me - "No." The n makes a "nuh" sound, and the o makes an o sound. Say it with me. Noooooo. When he's taken aback you smile, say have a nice day, and walk away. Embrace your inner asshole, like this post here :cookiemonster:

If I caught him on my lawn I'd totally say something like, "If I catch you doing this again I'm gonna start letting my dog shit on your lawn." :laugh2:

I don't care how friendly he comes off as, nice can easily be ignorant, selfish, manipulative. Many things. Nice is not a personality trait, it's a social skill. It's more important to be nice to yourself and sometimes that boils down to finding a decent way to tell someone to fuck off.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: What would you do with my neighbor? [Re: cinderblock] * 1
    #26583494 - 04/07/20 09:03 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

It's never too late to change something. I went back to school at 42 after being a HS dropout. I had a neighbor that came to our house when we were at work and bitched at the landscape guys to not tear/cut down a chain link fence from the 50's on OUR property! Plus he had gone one foot onto his property to build a 6ft wood fence on the other side of the chain link fence on the property line completely blocking his view of the fence. We did a 90% zero-scaped lawn so we wouldn't have to maintain some fucking huge lawn (it's Listed as .26 acres), and we used plants that are very hardy and drought resistant etc...

I came home and had to explain to this egghead we are spending about 70 grand on this lawn and that we will have the fence cut off at the bottom of the metal posts so we wouldn't tear up the earth and disturb the fence he put up etc...I also went online to the city zoning site and researched fencing and legalities etc.... I told him I didn't want to be an asshole but legally we can tear this down without his say so/permission and if he really wanted to fight it in a civil court that I will do that. He then started saying how the old lady that lived there before let him cut the lawn and he had some kind of attachment to the fence blah blah blah.

I had to go write  up a document that stated we wouldn't hurt the fence and some other BS and we all 4 signed it. He hasn't bothered us since. He did bring me some weed the other day, BUT, asked if it was OK to come into our yard and weather proof the wood fence on our side. I thanked him for the weed and unlocked the gate and told him sure, come on in, the hubby will be home but working and not to worry about it.

PSI is right "never should have agreed to paying this guy anything".
You have the full right to tell him no, and also completely cut off ANY monetary thing. This lock down is a PERFECT time to do this!


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