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InvisibleZippoZM
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LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks
    #2657623 - 05/09/04 06:39 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

http://www.guilfordian.com/news/2004/04/...ks-653360.shtml



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GOOFORDIAN - LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks
By Katie Elliott
Published: Friday, April 2, 2004
Article Tools: Page 1 of 2

A terrorist plot was uncovered and thwarted on Wednesday, March 31, in Washington, D.C. The attackers, presumed to be members of pro-drug terrorist group the PPP, planned to put highly potent lysergic acid diethylamide, commonly known as LSD or 'acid,' into the dairy products in every Starbucks on Capitol Hill.
According to CIA-released information, the terrorists intended to poison the creamer in at least 42 Capitol Hill-area Starbucks locations.
Homeland Security Experts estimate that over 40,000 people would have been hit if the attack had succeeded.
"These terrorists obviously did their homework," Homeland Security spokesperson Richard Reynolds said in a press conference Thursday morning." Studies show that 99.4% of politicians take cream in their coffee, and after drinking that coffee, they'd have been tripping."
Homeland Security responded to the attempted act of violence by forming a special committee, the Starbucks Incident Defense League (SIDL), to investigate this internal terrorism. High-ranking SIDL officials now believe the aggression targeted both politicians and civilians and aimed to influence legislation with a regime of fear and mass chaos.
"In situations like this, situations of such brutal abuse of personal liberty, we must ask ourselves a few questions," said League Security Adviser Alphonse Malone. "Why did they do this? Here it seems evident that they want us tripping. Why? So we couldn't make wise decisions, and might just legalize drugs. And what can we do about this? Kick 'em out of the country."
The plot was discovered as a result of stringent new security measures Starbucks recently introduced to combat internal terrorist threats. The corporation advocates a tough 'don't wait 'til its too late' security policy that emphasizes prevention and preemptive security through exhaustive employee and customer background checks.
The regulations responsible for foiling this act of terrorism enforce strict employee identification and require all dairy-handlers to use a computerized fingerprint entry code.
_____________________________________________

damn, i wonder what would have happened if it worked?


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PEACE

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"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflinemotamanM
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2657628 - 05/09/04 06:43 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

"Tuesday afternoon, we were having lots of problems with the entry code system," said Javier Hopkins, store manager of a Capitol Hill Starbucks. "We looked into it and saw that someone had added 15 or 20 people to the system. We called and reported it to the authorities and of course they took care of it right away."
Though no one has officially claimed responsibility for the incident, Homeland Security agents have targeted their investigations on a militant pro-drug group known as the Pothead Pandemon-ium Posse, or PPP.
"The PPP is the new face of evil," Reynolds said. "Forget Saddam Hussein, forget Al-Qaeda. The PPP are the ones we must eradicate now. They present the new potential threat to the American people and the allies of America, and we wouldn't be surprised if they were responsible for the Sept. 11 attacks too."
The PPP has been active since 1959 and have been responsible for more the drug use of over 150,000 people in the last decade, according to the Foundation for Reefer Research.
Many Americans are still outraged by the attempted aggression on their homes and nation's capitol.
"These people are crazy," said Christine McArthur, a DC resident and regular Starbucks patron. "They're on some kind of drug jihad and they'll stop at nothing to get what they want. Putting LSD in creamer, giving cigarettes to small children. They make me sick."
Others speculate that this attack had the potential to destroy the nation's security and undermine the internal workings of the entire political system.
"They'd have had every politician in Washington tripping," said Gwen Kilmore, a Political Science Professor at Guilford College. "Mass chaos would ensue. Clearly these guys were using LSD as a weapon of mass destruction. More brain cells would have been lost in this attack than in 9-11." Though no one has confessed, 26 people have been arrested, half of them college students and Starbucks employees. Police say they were able to follow the path of tie-dyed shirts to the criminals.
Questioned about their apprehension of the criminals, SIDL Law Enforcement remained humble, calling it a matter of patriotism and duty. "It was pretty easy to tell who was responsible," Starbucks Security Agent Warren Hughes said. "We just arrested all the hippies."


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OfflineHowardo
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2657661 - 05/09/04 06:53 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

that's fucked up. what the fuck is wrong with these people? although wasting acid on politicians is a terrible idea as well. :wink:


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Offlinepattern
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2657708 - 05/09/04 07:07 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

April Fools!


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man = monkey + mushroom


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OfflineHowardo
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: pattern]
    #2657711 - 05/09/04 07:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

may fools?


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Offlinedeff
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2657873 - 05/09/04 08:17 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

That would have been hilarious if it worked. Darn, someone should try that again...


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InvisibleRavus
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2658701 - 05/10/04 01:38 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I don't know whether this is real or not, but the day it worked would've been hilarious

I hope groups like this actually exist


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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OnlineLearyfan
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: Ravus]
    #2659540 - 05/10/04 02:52 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

This is obviously fake, guys.





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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



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OfflineDailyPot
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: Learyfan]
    #2664534 - 05/11/04 07:48 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

There is no reason why this plan or a plan like it could not be properly exicuted :evil:


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InvisibleCow Shit Collector
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: DailyPot]
    #2666991 - 05/12/04 03:42 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Homeland Security responded to the attempted act of violence by forming a special committee, the Starbucks Incident Defense League (SIDL), to investigate this internal terrorism. High-ranking SIDL officials now believe the aggression targeted both politicians and civilians and aimed to influence legislation with a regime of fear and mass chaos.





LMFAO  :lol:


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OnlineAsanteA
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2672386 - 05/13/04 07:30 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

"Police say they were able to follow the path of tie-dyed shirts to the criminals." (April 2)


Hey, its a joke. But I must add its in the worst possible taste.


"Forget Saddam Hussein, forget Al-Qaeda. The PPP are the ones we must eradicate now. They present the new potential threat to the American people and the allies of America, and we wouldn't be surprised if they were responsible for the Sept. 11 attacks too."
"More brain cells would have been lost in this attack than in 9-11."


The guy that accidentally burned his buttocks by launching bottle rockets from his anus (see other thread) now -that's- in reasonably good taste but this isnt.

Punning on the Iraq, Bin Laden and 9-11 situations in this way is pretty sick, at least to me.



Lemme for the heck of it dive into the LSD subject further...

LSD has been investigated in MKULTRA etc. as a means of psychowarfare. It actually has been weaponized and thoroughly researched at Edgewood Arsenal as a viable weapon for chemical warfare for specific (LSD in somebody's food) and generalized (2 lbs LSD aerosol bomb) applications. This was in the final spasms of CW's acceptibility, as a supposedly "harmless" incapacitant.

Well, it wasnt. People dosed without their knowledge and/or consent in neutral or even deliberate psychotoxic circumstances (interrogations) often came down with severe psychological disturbances that in many cases proved persistant. People were shattered and some still are trying to get themselves together, over 30 years after the fact.

This was not caused by LSD. This was caused by use of LSD as a weapon, a poison, with the victims either unaware they were dosed, unwilling, or subjected to mental pressure.
The Discovery Channel documentary "Bad Trip to Edgewood Arsenal" really drives the realities of psychochemical warfare home.

Imagine a cruise missile circling over your home town dropping off some hissing cannisters and an invisible, imperceptible cloud of LSD being carried by the wind through your city's streets.
For you yourself it might seem quite welcome in an LSD drought but think about it: Your neighbour's toddler, 87yo asthmatic granny, the survivalist with his attack dogs, gangmembers with their glocks and full-autos, driving truck drivers and cops going "insane" on several to thousands of mcg of LSD.

Personally I think that surviving say a nervegas attack (with half the city struck down severely ill or dying all around you) would be easier on your psychology thereafter then everybody (including yourself) going psychotic with say half never regaining their sanity.

If people around you and yourself are struck down with comprehensible symptoms (poor sight, drooling, suffocation) and several "proceed to die in an orderly fashion" like in the Tokyo subway nervegas attack you are much more likely to come out with your psychological structure reasonably intact then when incomprehensible insanity breaks out within and all around you.

A peanut (like LSD) isnt a traumatic object. But severely choking on it alone in your appartment at night, staggering out the door cyanotic with suffocation and being Heimlich-ed out of it by your neighbour just before passing out -IS-.
Its only natural to "change" because of this or even to get vivid imagery and memory of it (flashbacks) surge upward when you are confronted with a bowl of them at a party.
Now imagine the peanut event when unknowingly high on LSD.


Bottom line: dosing up politicians (or anyone) without consent, let alone a coffee shop full of people, is very serious and very realistic terrorism. Its nothing short of psychologic assassination, especially with politicians who are by nature very rigid and detailed in their belief systems and strong egos.

Suggesting a realistic means of terrorist attack as well as disclosing that groups of national politicians are to be found cluttered together in a reasonably low-security pace like Starbucks makes a very poor April fool's day joke in these times which also dunks us psychedelicians and our beloved LSD in the manurepit for making the War on Drugs and the War on Terrorism gang up on us and what we stand for.

Using LSD as a weapon is chemical warfare, and I dare say its a low blow even in that ballpark. I think the average drug-naive old or middle-aged person will be much better off with five painfull Anthrax sores then five strong hits of LSD used as a weapon when he or she goes for a coffee at Starbucks.


Thanks for reading all this!


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InvisibleJohn
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: Asante]
    #2672731 - 05/13/04 10:31 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

good read :smile:

the world can go crazy enough sometimes while trippin and the streets are calm, i think even some very seasoned psychedelic users would lose it in a situation that you described. i sometimes get the felling of Apocalypse safe in my home on a quiet afternoon, add everyone freaking loads of accidents people shooting there guns off ect. i'd probably kill myself :confused:


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There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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InvisibleRevelation

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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2674855 - 05/13/04 07:16 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Someone should do this.


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InvisibleDieCommie
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2674889 - 05/13/04 07:33 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It reminds me off the story of Grce Slick trying to spike Nixon's drink with LSD....


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2784839 - 06/11/04 02:38 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

why arent there any pro-drug terrorist groups? 

maybe I'll start one... :evil:


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peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineJiggly
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2784982 - 06/11/04 03:19 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

the shocking thing is that some asshole did a study on what percent of politicians use cream


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InvisiblePapaverS
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Re: LSD Jihad thwarted in Washington DC Starbucks [Re: Asante]
    #2785080 - 06/11/04 03:47 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
"Police say they were able to follow the path of tie-dyed shirts to the criminals."  (April 2)

Hey, its a joke. But I must add its in the worst possible taste.




Hmm... Why do we have so many joke news items in here lately... :crazy:

And, yes. Dosing people without their consent is a very bad idea on sooo many levels. Forgetting the horrible ethics of such a thing, it represents the very type of immature behavior which will keep us in locked in the dark ages of this stupid war on drugs forever... :frown:


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