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Ovoidhunter
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I had a traumatic LSD experience 1
#26574224 - 04/02/20 11:14 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Deleted.
Edited by Ovoidhunter (05/13/20 10:23 AM)
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The Blind Ass
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26574268 - 04/02/20 11:35 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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I’m sorry Ovoid, I wish I could’ve swooped in and rescued you from that shit show.
Glad you got it off your chest, I had a pretty similar experience about a decade ago, and it really fucked me up for a while.
I will tell you, its now a non issue, and nowadays I only trip alone and its been much better that way. Albeit, I only trip under very specific circumstances now - and life’s better because of it, I’m better because of it.
After the trauma incident I had, I decided I would take a year to be sober and not do anything to upset my natural chemistry, that way I could work through the incident and my unfortunate mental contamination from it. I simplified my life, becoming a minimalist temporarily, and gravitated to those i knew to be moral and compassionate , like my family and certain people I knew and would meet. Living like so, I practiced a simple yet difficult formal seated meditation called Zazen everyday - 3x a day for that year, the first 2 months I was just working on becoming consistent at making myself practice, and after then, it become a joy to sit and do nothing, like a frog sitting on a log. After a year there wasn’t an “impression” of contamination in my psyche from the traumatic experience. No trace left behind.
That’s just me, I dont suggest you follow such a thing I did, but I hope you take away something from my post that will help you to overcome your traumatic experience in a way that you know all situations and circumstances of it as nothing more than illusory evanescence.
Also, what helped me not be so hung up on not taking any drugs (especially psychs which I found valuable and a treasure) was that every night I dream, and the more and more I looked forward to that as a trip, the more and more I realized it literally is. So i lost nothing, and gained merit in the end.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Ovoidhunter
Buttery Crescent



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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: The Blind Ass]
#26574294 - 04/02/20 11:53 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm glad that atleast someone can relate to my story. Everyone wants to talk about the positives to these things without emphasizing how if used wrong you can really mess yourself up. I hope that maby this might help someone sometime while going through something of their own.
I've been looking into antidepressants but I don't want to be chemically dependent on something to be happy. I haven't tried the meditation yet but I hear good things. I just don't know if I could get out of my own head long enough but I'll try it. I've been abstaining from substances since the pandemic like weed or any psyches at all. Actually it's been over 4 months since that happened and I haven't tripped since. I haven't been able too. I won't until I heal from this experience.
Thanks for the read and your words of advice.
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The Blind Ass
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26574297 - 04/03/20 12:07 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yes, as amazing as psychs can be the potential for waking nightmare experiences is equally possible, and well documented. People here are largely prejudiced, but not all, we’ve got some good peeps here who will tell ya how it is without putting psychs up on a pedestal . Bad trips can seriously damage and traumatize individuals heavily, some dont recover. But safe practice helps, but drugs can be dangerous, like most things.
Meditation is varied and there is much flummox about it. I learned from a Roshi at a temple in Jp, but I have also seen fantastic lessons on it online in writing and in YouTube videos. ( I learned from a monastery called Sogenji - there website can be found here > http://onedropzen.org/community/japan/sogenji. ). There is some info there and videos and reading. But that’s just one school.
Beginning is the hardest part - and the easiest thing is just sitting there and imagining yourself doing everything but the practice.
Zazen is simple - the directions clear cut , and the conditions for doing it are set in stone, and guidance is available to those who want to practice, but if you aren’t willing to do it twice a day for atleast 30 minutes each, I’d find something else. The begging trials of it is in seeing how badly off you are, becoming accustomed to sitting in the midst of all your psychic crap coming up to the surface and having to rely on what seems at first, a useless practice. I only kept at it because I could literally see the other monks at the temple doing it for hours upon hours daily with perfect comfort and ease, meanwhile i was a struggling writhing mess! Haha. But one time during the formal night sitting session, the starting bell went off and I just sat - and what seemed like 3 seconds later the bell signifying the end of the session was rung - and I could not believe that 2 hours had passed, i literally was dumbfounded. I had sat 2 or so odd hours with a cognitive state like a tiger watching a prey - crystal clear cognitive space unimpeded by my life’s conditioning. That experience gave me more faith to continue.
Then I got stuck trying to regain that state as if It was a drug, but luckily someone corrected me from that view, and I was able to continue on my way without falling for such a trap in thinking. Ahh, the memories this brings up, and the people from that time in my life, are noble.
There are other practices of mediation, I suppose you can pick one you like and stick with it - but frankly , when most begin meditating they do it wrong for a long time and think they’re progressing, but are largely just becoming more delusional, lol.
Zazen is simple, and you need only choose 1 of 2 variances of it. Shikantaza, or Koan Zazen. They involve a posture, without distractions in a room of practice , and at the beginning a method to use mentally while sitting. After enough practice with the sitting with the method, you’ll experientially know an uncontrived state of mind, or non-meditation . Then when you practice , you can just sit open to experience - without the normal streaming in of mental effluents and incessant chatter of an undisciplined mind going from one thing to another/without mental fabrication - pure experience with only an occasional bubble of thought or feeling burping up from your subconscious.
At first you learn to control your innate uncontrollability through simple non action tied in with a method of mental practice and formal sitting posture with a 30, alarm ( or 10m when beginning ) , then eventually you can sit in a way where there’s a headspace quality of openness , like sitting in an open field, and its like slowly sinking to the bottom of a pool and blowing out all your air - but you wont need to worry about having to breath. My point, learning correctly is a process , it was very tough for me, but I was committed to figuring it out no matter what at the time.
Anyways, that’s all up to you. Best to you man. Such a practice, if your really in need of something to help you, will, but it requires dedication and daily practice without failure.
That place where, temporarily, nothing can sway you from the simple empty clarity of sitting while the world turns, is its own benefit.
As another said,
Conclusion: The task: “Just sit”, can be the beginning of recognicing the process of fabrication and if this process is fully understood, it can be the beginning of primordial natural looseness, which is completely unfabricated.
Edited by The Blind Ass (04/03/20 12:31 AM)
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Northerner
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: The Blind Ass] 1
#26574697 - 04/03/20 07:36 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sounds like a freaking intense and terrifying experience Ovoidhunter. I don't envy you at all. A lot of people have traumatic experiences with psychedelics, don't feel alone. I've had situations on LSD where I thought I was going to die, hospital visits, threatening people, intense combinations with DMT that seriously messed with me. Shocking stuff. The most effective cure for these types of experience is simply time. Integration takes time. After some trips I have not tripped for years afterwards because of having to deal with it. But it does become easier. Season by season the doubt, confusion and regret recedes. It does get easier. I promise you. Unless you find yourself in a psychological emergency I highly recommend against antidepressants. The long term outcomes are worse than placebo, so they are really only a short term helper. Don't dwell, don't despair, don't keep forcing yourself to relive the events. You were not truly hurt nor witness anything that will scar you psychologically. Good food, good sleep and simple healthy living are great healers. Meditation like mentioned can help, but it doesn't need to be complicated. Best of luck Ovoidhunter. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. This too shall pass.
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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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redgreenvines
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26574860 - 04/03/20 09:38 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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great advice, I can appreciate how exciting and scary the meth head flopagaza crisis was, and how naturally it could come about in our world. Your reaction to it is more healthy than insane.
Also in agreement with Northerner that you will emerge from the shock of it in time; and The Blind Ass has carefully shared his own testament of shocking depravity and how he changed his habits over time to effectively reach a life with wisdom and joy.
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Korean Jesus



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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: redgreenvines] 1
#26574940 - 04/03/20 10:14 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Damn, that sounds terrible. At least you can take comfort in the fact that it's not your fault. If you have a traumatic experience tripping alone, it's much harder to identify what went wrong and how to prevent that in the future.
Also, the fact that you kept a "cool head" and didn't actually go insane – it means that you can handle stressors even while tripping. I think this whole episode just highlighted how strong you are, mentally. Just give yourself a break and be very mindful of your set and setting in the future. But no read to rush into it if you feel uncomfortable – remember, you have the rest of your life to keep tripping.
After a really scary shrooms experience I too felt uncomfortable tripping for a little while, but the discomfort faded much faster than I would've expected. I think you'll know when you're ready to trip again and it will be faster than you expect.
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The Mycologist
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26574950 - 04/03/20 10:18 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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These things are really powerful. They can be positive but with a scary sketch situation like yours there is no possible way to ignore all that.
Luckily you didnt end up in the hospital. Thats how alot of peoples LSD horror stories go.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Edited by The Mycologist (04/03/20 10:18 AM)
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Farnaby1984
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26574973 - 04/03/20 10:29 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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OMG so sorry that happened to you. Most people would have an anxiety attack in such a situation and get traumatized by it.
When we're traumatized by an event, we need to hold a safe space for all those feelings that tend to get stuck in the body. Unfortunately, we can't talk ourselves out of trauma, we need to experience safety again. A compassionate and trauma informed (or even better trauma specialized) therapist could be a great help to slowly help you feel better and more grounded.
I think what The Blind Ass did for a year is also very important to bring your body "back to baseline": no drugs, healthy diet, exercise and generally a healthy routine.
I hope you can start feeling better soon
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Ovoidhunter
Buttery Crescent



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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Korean Jesus]
#26574994 - 04/03/20 10:37 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Also, the fact that you kept a "cool head" and didn't actually go insane – it means that you can handle stressors even while tripping. I think this whole episode just highlighted how strong you are, mentally. Just give yourself a break and be very mindful of your set and setting in the future. But no read to rush into it if you feel uncomfortable – remember, you have the rest of your life to keep tripping.
After a really scary shrooms experience I too felt uncomfortable tripping for a little while, but the discomfort faded much faster than I would've expected. I think you'll know when you're ready to trip again and it will be faster than you expect.
I have an extremely high tolerance to stressors while I'm tripping I can take just about all of it. I just knew that going crazy and freaking out wasn't going to help anything. I just kind of shut off and froze into place. No doubt the scariest experience I've ever had while tripping. I do not intend to ever have another if I can help it.
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Korean Jesus



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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Ovoidhunter]
#26575083 - 04/03/20 11:26 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Think about it like this: two soldiers watch their platoon get slaughtered. Both of them are understandably traumatized, but one develops PTSD that infiltrates every aspect of his life, while the other slowly returns to a normal state of being, having learned some lesson. Thankfully, the latter is more common, especially among those who are able to act on logic even in extremely stressful situations.
You're exactly the type of person who I wouldn't expect to be permanently traumatized by a scary experience. Right now it's hard but it will fade. If you trip alone when you are ready I think you will be able to put this experience behind you. Even if not though, it doesn't seem like you have PTSD. So the worst case is that you'll live a normal life without tripping, best case is that you will be able to put this behind you. Some people have this type of experience and life is never the same again. You will be fine.
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Korean Jesus



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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Korean Jesus]
#26575128 - 04/03/20 11:46 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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I know it's not really comparable but I was ridiculously terrified (like easily the scariest experience of my life) when I did a heroic dose for my first real mushrooms experience (how stupid does that sound?). I was convinced I'd never do shrooms again, but I went on to have many amazing shrooms experiences.
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CountHTML
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Korean Jesus] 1
#26575144 - 04/03/20 11:54 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Writing about these experiences helps with integration in my experience, preferably to a supportive audience. For some reason that act of telling a story is very helpful.
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Northerner
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: CountHTML] 1
#26575330 - 04/03/20 02:36 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
CountHTML said: Writing about these experiences helps with integration in my experience, preferably to a supportive audience. For some reason that act of telling a story is very helpful.
Absolutely, it's cathartic. A burden shared is a burden halved, as they say.
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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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redgreenvines
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Re: I had a traumatic LSD experience [Re: Northerner]
#26576694 - 04/04/20 05:08 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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amazingly true
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