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Offlinetopdog82
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Metta (kindness meditation) * 2
    #26567501 - 03/30/20 02:48 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I think I have a sort of bitter world view. Growing up, a handful of bad apples in my family and personal life had inflicted pain on me with a sense of clear malicious intent.

When I was given glaring examples of how humans are flawed and broken the lens with which I viewed the world became colored gray.

I think the first step in healing this is recognizing the problem. Step 2 would be taking grounded steps to relieve it.

Metta meditation is a practice where the individual does the following:


The practice gradually increases in difficulty with respect to the targets that receive the practitioner’s compassion or loving-kindness. At first the practitioner is targeting "oneself, then loved ones, neutral ones, difficult ones and finally all beings, with variations across traditions"


I am using a specific guided meditation from the app "waking up". It has been helping quite a bit over the past week. I keep to about 10 mins metta, 5 mins mantra, 10 mins of meditation. the metta being the recent addition. check it out if you haven't. Anyone into this?


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26567542 - 03/30/20 03:07 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:

I think I have a sort of bitter world view. Growing up, a handful of bad apples in my family and personal life had inflicted pain on me with a sense of clear malicious intent.




Maliciously causing others pain is a symptom of suffering, and remembering that can help support metta practice. Once we realize there are no "bad apples" - only suffering - we can see things more clearly and not take the harm others have caused us personally. It's a challenge to abandon the habit of taking things personally. But it can be done. It's a little hard on the ego :-)


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Onlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26567561 - 03/30/20 03:15 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

There is no bad apples? That is a good thought. But I dont believe it. There are people on this planet who enjoy hurting others for no reason. No prior "suffering".


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26567598 - 03/30/20 03:35 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

All people have purposely harmed others. Including you and I. You aren't denying that, are you?    Our egotistical craving for condemnation inhibits us from seeing all people as suffering.


Edited by RJ Tubs 202 (03/30/20 03:42 PM)


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Onlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26567628 - 03/30/20 03:47 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Yes in retaliation. I have NEVER gone out and said you know what? I'm going to hurt someone because I want to.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26567637 - 03/30/20 03:49 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

:okay:


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26567645 - 03/30/20 03:54 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

You've never decided to do something you knew would likely cause pain or suffering?

I believe all humans deserve to be seen as human - including Osama bin Laden, Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler, etc.

To call people evil monsters (or "bad apples") is a symptom of our collective diseased egotistical mind. It keeps us from understanding and appreciating how similar these people are to you and I. And yes, we all are much more similar to Jeffrey Dahmer than we'd like to admit. No doubt about that.


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InvisiblefeeversM
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26567651 - 03/30/20 03:57 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Ive found metta meditation is the most effective way of turning a bad trip into a good one. It's a great way to redirect "negative" energy


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26567653 - 03/30/20 03:59 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Yes in retaliation. I have NEVER gone out and said you know what? I'm going to hurt someone because I want to.



Pretty much

I think every human is capable of harming. I don't think that any 4 year old goes out and decides that one day they will rape and inflict incomprehensible damage on others.

But regardless, it happens. I think that people grow and somewhere along the way they realize that maliciously inflicting pain on others is a way to gratify their ego.

I think that people who do horrendous things should be punished. And that self defense and a willingness to preemptively strike is needed. declaring you will never harm someone else is a silly choice. The second you make that promise is the second you put yourself in harms way of everyone who choses to not follow that same philsophy

but key is to avoid toxic people, and forgive as much as you can. should it be needed, strike in self defense. Always be willing to harm another. its always important to have that. But staying bitter your whole life (like me) is just silly. Its really a hard balance
Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
You've never decided to do something you knew would likely cause pain or suffering?

I believe all humans deserve to be seen as human - including Osama bin Laden, Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler, etc.

To call people evil monsters (or "bad apples") is a symptom of our collective diseased egotistical mind. It keeps us from understanding and appreciating how similar these people are to you and I. And yes, we all are much more similar to Jeffrey Dahmer than we'd like to admit. No doubt about that.



this too. I think that its important recognize that certain bad apples are really the exact same as you and I. they want to be happy and they have their ways of getting that done. I am not saying never strike another. I am also not saying that bad behavior is justified. That is silly. Its just important to never forget that a human is a human. Forgiveness is a recognition of that fact. hostility and condemnation often times charges us emotionally to where we forget that we are person just like the ones we despise so much


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InvisiblePatrickKn
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26567680 - 03/30/20 04:13 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I don't do any exercises like that in the OP, but I do have something similar. Sounds kind of out there, but in most conversations I imagine anyone I'm talking to as being able to read my mind even though I am unable to read theirs. I don't believe that this is the case as a fact of the matter kind of thing, but the concept is pretty ingrained into my mind regardless whenever I talk with others, and the thought really started to be prominent after a few mescaline trips where the thought that others could read my thoughts was the primary direction of each trip.

That kind of guides the way I think of people internally. I suppose I've ingrained the idea into my head as a good thought exercise and whenever I have a negative thought about someone, my mind immediately responds consciously that the whole room is reading my mind at that moment and I start to immediately rationalize the negative impression, stereotype or pessimistic vibe I get in conversation.

I suppose it's kind of a self-fulfilling realization, because even though people can not read my thoughts, everyone can read emotions, facial tells and more to an extent. I think it's a good practice in general to assume everyone can read your thoughts, because even if they cannot, then you still kind of guide your thoughts towards a direction where you might wish them to be to achieve the kind of relationship you are going for. A bit like a stoic kind of reflection exercise I guess.


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Onlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: PatrickKn]
    #26567731 - 03/30/20 04:38 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

And when I say bad apple I am meaning someone who was born with part of their brain fucked up to where they dont feel it. So I guess you have a point as to it is still not their fault though.....but still does not change that they exist.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26567733 - 03/30/20 04:41 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
And when I say bad apple I am meaning someone who was born with part of their brain fucked up to where they dont feel it. So I guess you have a point as to it is still not their fault though.....but still does not change that they exist.



I sort of imagine it as being a bell curve. most people are in the middle. Some are overtly caring and kind hearted. then theres a solid 14% of the spectrum that just has a tendency to harm others for no reason. Its up to that group to manage their lack of empathy and compassion


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InvisibleTantrika
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82] * 1
    #26567948 - 03/30/20 06:59 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

pick yourself up a copy of this book
https://www.amazon.ca/Life-Milarepa-New-Translation-Tibetan/dp/0140193502

Milarepa is an amazing and intriguing figure who is famous in Tibet for becoming the first Tibetan to achieve enlightenment without going to India to find a teacher
but his life story is one of revenge, murder, atonement, and redemption
as he goes from killing most of his extended family to a Buddhist Saint

extreme sentiments of compassion through meditation -- if you can find a copy like the one linked the book provides extensive footnotes as to where to find the various teachings he talks about following

his story played a huge role in me finding my way back out of a deep and toxic hole



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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: Tantrika]
    #26568034 - 03/30/20 07:46 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I've been practicing metta meditation on and off for over 10 years now. My favorite guided meditation is one done by Sharon Salzberg. For the past two weeks or so I've been doing 20 minutes a day and I find it a lot easier to let go and come back into self kindness when I'm disappointed or upset with myself.

It changed my life when I first started doing it. I remember one of the first times I did it and I was imagining my family members one by one and wishing for them the happiness I would wish for myself and then becoming suddenly grateful and appreciative of them. It also helps me feel some compassion for my enemies.

It is easy to hit a wall though. You can't reach nirvana doing it or anything like that (at least that's my point of view) but it's great for keeping your heart open and feeling kindness.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #26568166 - 03/30/20 09:24 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

MAT: Nice! I have got the kindle sample just now. its on my list

EC: nice dude! I mean I doubt that metta has the same progression as meditation.  for people who are bitter (like me) its a great tool. But for others they may reach a point of dimishing returns


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82] * 4
    #26693880 - 05/24/20 10:21 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Its been almost 2 months of daily metta. This shit is life changing


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OfflineVajraWarrior
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26693907 - 05/24/20 10:36 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I tried that kind of meditation in the past but it didn't really work out for me. I ran out of kindness for the world at large but it wasn't replaced with contempt or hatred, just indifference.

Plus I'm of the belief that Metta is more of an idea and less a practice. It's easy to visualize and believe it during practice but rarely is it truly tested and from what I gather it usually breaks, in my experience with others.

I don't have hate for humans though, more like just sad or disappointed. It's like a parent watching their child learning the hard way, that's how I would put it.

History shows us that humans don't learn and we repeat the same mistakes ad nauseum. We really can't see what's right in front of our faces, too busy running here and there to stop and really look and listen.


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Exactly.

UGH! Then what was the point of any of this? -O.K KO


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: topdog82]
    #26693961 - 05/24/20 11:27 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Wow, thats awesome.

How has it changed your life? Is it best medicine for the mind?


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26693985 - 05/24/20 11:47 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Of the Brahma Viharas, abodes, or dwellings; Metta, or loving-kindness -or- compassion expressed as good-will, is 1 of 4 “sublime attitudes”.  Set into the greater systematic framework of the whole of Buddhist teaching & practice as an antidote to 1 of the 5 hindrances (mental factors that obstruct Buddhist meditative practice), namely,  I’ll-will. 


There are objects causing aversion; frequently giving unwise attention to them — this is the nourishment for the arising of ill-will that has not yet arisen, and for the increase and strengthening of ill-will that has already arisen.


Metta is like an antidote counteracts a poison or venom after it has already taken effect in the body-mind, but it will not stop it happening occurring in the first place; though, but by cultivating Metta, it will be temporarily allayed; however, there is a Buddhist practice which deals with cutting off the nutriment, or roots, of ill-will. 

It’s good to have the antidote to poison, but it’s better to learn how to avoid that which administers the toxin - certain “foods”. 
The saying “man is what he eats” also applies to his mental/psychic/psychological nourishment .  The mind also feeds - but it feeds on external sensory impressions, on our experiences, and on the content of the store-house consciousness  & on our own memory.  Just like how external food becomes internal -  after being absorbed and digested - so to does external “food” become internal and “part of one’s own self ”.


* What cannot be absorbed by the system is discarded, and thus, in the body as well as in the mind, there is a constant process of grasping and rejecting, assimilating and dissimilating, identifying with oneself and alienating. When we look closely at this process of nutrition, physical and mental, we shall notice that it is not only the eater who consumes the food, but, in the course of assimilation, also the food devours the eater. There is thus mutual absorption between them. We know how much people can be changed (for better or worse) by ideas they have absorbed and which finally have absorbed and consumed them - Nyanaponika Thera.



This is Psychic Alchemy, Buddha Dhamma (dharma)

If you want to know whether or not the teachings really work, then study the suttas (sutras) and put their teachings into practice and find out firsthand.

:heart::mushroom2:


--------------------
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Edited by The Blind Ass (05/25/20 06:04 AM)


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Metta (kindness meditation) [Re: The Blind Ass] * 1
    #26694251 - 05/25/20 05:54 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Wow, thats awesome.

How has it changed your life? Is it best medicine for the mind?



I have insane amounts of anger against a number of personal/family situations. This metta thing is beyond forgiveness. With forgiveness you let go. Metta you envision them as happy and you find joy in their happiness

So I have been slowly just catching myself every time I find myself irritable at someone from the past. with meditation, its been a slow process over the past couple years. The amount of progress I have made with about 2 months has been equal to about a year

I don't think it will help everyone. Some people are inherently loving. but it has helped me


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