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PSMM
PsychedelicsSavedMyMarriage


Registered: 03/27/20
Posts: 18
Last seen: 3 years, 30 days
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Hi all! 4
#26560892 - 03/27/20 10:29 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm new here! Just discovered my love for psilocybin mushrooms this year after having the most amazing experience on just under 4 grams. Now I am in the process of growing my own, and learning everything I can about their amazing potential and how they are helping people. I truly feel like psilocybin has saved my marriage.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi! I look forward to learning a LOT from this website and all you fellow mushroom enthusiasts!
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 29 days, 5 hours
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM] 1
#26560914 - 03/27/20 10:46 AM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Welcome. How did it help your marriage?
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Hi! Welcome! I'm glad to see that psychedelics have also had a profoundly positive impact in your life. A lot of us here, myself included, can relate.
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BooShow
Spooky



Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 884
Loc: Sunshine Province, Canada
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Welcome to Shroomery, friend!
 I'm glad you discovered the wonderful world of psychedelics.
-------------------- You are what is. That's all.
  
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LeningradCowboy
Yes, my name is you?



Registered: 08/01/15
Posts: 1,962
Loc: Siperia underground
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Welcome
-------------------- From tundra with love!
FREE HAMHEAD 2020!
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Larabar
Crack Addicted Whorsicle



Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 1,868
Loc: Koryo Kingdom
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Whale cum!
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PSMM
PsychedelicsSavedMyMarriage



Registered: 03/27/20
Posts: 18
Last seen: 3 years, 30 days
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Quote:
The Mycologist said: Welcome. How did it help your marriage?
Well.....My childhood trauma and resulting perceptions of the world and things really had me stuck behind a brick wall. I felt like I literally had no ability to show empathy. I certainly am not a sociopath or anything, but was definitely trapped behind a really strong ego that made me think my wife had different intentions than she did. I grew up with an extremely emotionally unavailable mother and a father that was gone working all the time. So I grew up without that normal affection, and with no model of how to care for others. If I was hurt, my mother would basically tell me to brush it off instead of ever actually "caring" for me like a mother should. I have zero memory of my mother ever holding me and telling me she loves me, or looking into my eyes and connecting with me in that way. As a child, she would take myself and my sister to the park so we could play, but the entire time she would just be reading her magazine and not play with us at all. Anytime I had something exciting to show her or share with her, I would always walk away having my heart crushed as I felt rejected when she was too busy to pay much attention to me.
Also, I am a transwoman. Lived 37 years of my life as a man in a very conservative, Mormon home, but with the internal emotions and feelings that I was supposed to be female yet was never able to express that part of myself until I was 37 years old. So that royally screwed me up as well.
So I got married 4 years ago, and because my wife tends to remind me of my mother, I found myself constantly triggered and annoyed by things as I perceived her as trying to control me like my mother did. And was triggered anytime she would get upset at me and withdraw her affection, because it would remind me of my mother rejecting me as a kid. So I would find myself getting upset at my wife when her intentions come from an entirely different place.
So I recognized that I was struggling so bad with this warped sense of reality due to my childhood. So I went to about 4 different therapists over the years, and went through talk therapy which helped some stuff, but never could truly get to the root of those forgotten memories of the things from my past which were affecting me. So I tried EMDR therapy hoping that would help me. That still didn't do it. So I was just about to start NeuroFeedback therapy where they attach sensors to your head, and have you watch a video that is controlled by your brain activity. So it programs your brain to remain in that non-reactive calm and peaceful state. But just a few days before that was supposed to start, I had decided to try a mushroom trip having heard and researched so many great things about psilocybin and what it could do for people.
So my wife helped me to setup a nice place for me to lay, and she set aside the whole afternoon and evening to be there with me. I made a tea with just under 4 grams. Sat on the couch, started to see stuff come to life in our house, and then I laid down and closed my eyes, and was engulfed in all kinds of fascinating visuals that felt way more entertaining than therapeutic. And I found myself thinking "How the hell are all of these fascinating visuals and things going to help me???" However, after a while, I went in deep to where time went away, and I found myself feeling every emotion under the sun super intensely. And that turned out to be exactly what I needed.
One of my problems, has always been responding to situations with the wrong emotion. Like my wife would say something meant to be loving, but my emotional response would be to be irritated or something different than would be an appropriate emotional response for that particular scenario. So what the mushrooms did for me in my first big trip, was to show me my entire life and every scenario I ever experienced that resulted in an emotion being elevated. So I laid there, and over the course of about an hour or so, relived just about my entire life including events I had completely forgotten or blocked out of my memory, and in rapid succession,I experienced EVERY SINGLE EMOTION I have ever experienced as I was visualizing and almost literally re-living each and every little situation. And what this did, was it allowed my brain to assign each emotion to their appropriate past event. Which resulted in me now knowing that if something happens, and I start to respond to it with the incorrect emotion, I am able to immediately identify "No...that emotion was brought on by that time when I was 6 years old and my mother yelled at me for making that mess in the kitchen when I was trying to be nice and cook her food." And I am able to now recognize when the wrong emotion is trying to attach itself to certain events, and I am able to put that emotion in its proper place tied to its proper past event where it belongs, rather than rearing its ugly head right now in this similar, but unrelated scenario.
This is what the mushrooms taught me. Everyone says that the mushrooms teach you what you NEED not necessarily what you want. I had no idea whatsoever when I went into the trip, that it was going to do THAT for me. I mean how crazy is that to have your emotional response truly reprogrammed so drastically to where all of a sudden, things that used to cause fights on a regular basis, no longer do, simply for the fact that I am able to respond to situations "Appropriately" now instead of with the incorrect emotion. It's wild!
So having had such an incredible experience and seeing how amazing this could be for other people I know who suffer from similar struggles in life due to forgotten childhood trauma, I immediately decided to start doing what I can to educate people of the benefits and hopefully work toward helping with decriminalization and further research and things.
I've been working on cultivating my own mushrooms, but have been off to a slow start since the spores I originally acquired turned out to be no good. After 6 weeks of waiting for something to happen that was never going to happen, I finally acquired some more spores from MilyWyco and finally think I have some mycelium started. I'm so excited to do a 5 gram in the silent darkness trip on my own mushrooms if I ever manage to get them to grow :-) Psilocybin is truly a gift!!! And I want so bad for others to get to experience its life changing effects!
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 29 days, 5 hours
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM] 1
#26561206 - 03/27/20 01:42 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Damn that is amazing. SO happy for you.
They can really mess with perspective, which I guess is just what you needed.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,100
Loc:
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM] 2
#26561507 - 03/27/20 04:27 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for sharing. That was a beautiful report. I hope that what you were shown stays with you for many years.
Be careful with escalating doses... it does not always increase insight or lead to catharsis. Sometimes it can kick your ass and leave you hollow. For what it is worth-- use psilocybin as a tool to loosen/rewire detrimental connections in your mind, not a sledge hammer that leaves you a crumpled mess.
Welcome to the Shroomery. I hope you enjoy this awesome community.
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,328
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 14 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM]
#26561539 - 03/27/20 04:38 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Wow, what a touching story. You've come from suxh a painful, neglected past but have risen above it, with the help of Magic Mushrooms. Truly humbling story. Thank you for sharing. 
And Welcome to the Shroomery. I wish you many more positive, uplifting, constructive psychedelic trips
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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Darwin23
INFJ



Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 3,277
Loc: United States
Last seen: 1 day, 14 hours
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM]
#26562062 - 03/27/20 08:19 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hey welcome, we're always happy to have new folks.
--------------------
Take a look at my journal
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Asclepius
Human Being



Registered: 01/09/18
Posts: 2,209
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Re: Hi all! [Re: PSMM]
#26562078 - 03/27/20 08:30 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thank you for sharing your inspirational story -- it takes a lot of courage.
Welcome to the Shroomery! 😊🙂
-------------------- A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 28 minutes, 7 seconds
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Welcome to shroomery!
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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