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Offlinesuperbob57
The Hobbit from the Shire
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Registered: 05/21/05
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Super bummed my Fiance died... * 2
    #26556729 - 03/25/20 10:03 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Well I haven't posted here in a while. Had some good things going on in my life in the time. Got myself a girlfriend got things back on track and then shit hit the fan.
Met a girl that live down the street from me about 7 minutes away, we have so much in common and we really found each other to be soulmates like we had known each other for years and years before we had even met. This girl really rub me the right way...
I'm the kind of guy that doesn't just put his heart out on the line to get crushed by every girl. I am very picky and choosy about who I let into my heart and into my life.
Me and this girl did everything together.We did not spend the last year and a half; apart more than a couple hours a day. This is how well me and this girl got along,we never got on each other's nerves or needed to spend time apart because we enjoy each other's company so much.
When we were apart we text love texts back and forth to each other, saying,how much we missed each other and how we couldn't wait to see each other again.

This girl had really taken my heart for a ride I really didn't expect it, as I found myself deeply in love with her. Also did I mention she had six children. So yes I was up to the challenge, dealing with all these kids ranging from ages 25 all the way down to 9. Love them all. Me and this girl we spend monuments of time together always telling each other how much we loved each other, having friends and other couples telling us how perfect we were. Her mother telling me how happy she was from meeting me and how beautiful our relationship is. We were always showing intimate signs towards each other,holding hands kissing, hugging,laying in bed together among other things...We really connected on higher level...never did we just have sex...no this was truly making love and it was so very special...

We had tripped and rolled together and enjoyed it immensely and had a really good time doing it this New Year's.
I had told this girl that I was going to marry her but I just needed to get some things straightened in my life first before we went that far. I'd like to have all my ducks in a row before I go and pulled the trigger on such things.
I tried to be responsible in these things I do not just do things all willy-nilly.

I guess it all started back in the beginning of March. She started to get very sick.
It all just started with a cough the common cold we had both got it and then about a week later I was getting better, but she wasn't progressing to getting better at this point. Which starting to worry me a little bit, but she was always a trooper and never wanted to go into the hospital and make massive bills were bills not need be created, money can be an issue and we didn't want it to start off like that.
So as I was getting better she was at home me taking care of her of course with over the counter medicines,cough drops, Tylenol, ibuprofen things of this nature. At this point she seem to be getting better the cough loosing up a little bit she didn't feel like crap all the time, we started to kiss each other again, "even though I kissed her sick or well" and. Started messing around a little bit...
So things looked up... about a week and a half into her not feeling well, things started to get progressively worse... she was having a hard time getting to the car with no energy level.Having a hard time just even getting to sleep and I called it. I said "honey you're not well, you're not getting better from this flu, you're getting worse." "I need to take you to the ER" Now!
As it was 2 or 3 a.m. in the morning when I said this she wanted to get a little sleep or try too...So at 5 a.m. I got her out to the car and took her to the ER.

We arrived at the ER and I get her checked in pretty fast. They run a flu swab test to see what type of flu she has, strain B and take a image of her chest to find out that it's all spotted and she has pneumonia.
Now pneumonia it's hard to fight off when you're a healthy person My girl previously four years ago had two heart valves replaced... my dumbass should have been hot and heavy on this faster. But I'm all new to this as well... We were in the process of getting her to a doctor to get her heart valves checked & replaced.
They do that do to that if they need to be replaced. Every 5 years and it had been about 4.

So starts a rigorous weeks-long way to try to fix her but they're telling me she's too sick to fix. As if they try to do a surgery on her she is not well enough to survive it. This is not what somebody wants to hear... Basically telling me if she doesn't get well from the medicines were giving her "she's going to die", I hope you know that, have a good day... Doctors and their terrible bedside manner... at this point,I'm taking care of her every want and need making sure she gets the medicine she needs making sure the nurses are taking care of her and trying to keep the family all in the loop all at the same time. Also trying to field an Ex of hers that wants a play by play every hour on the hour. A real Mister want to know everything but "I'll put you down later for it all later", kind of guy. No one in the family likes him including me. Because of always making her feel like unwanted, used and no one will ever love you...Always making her feel like she's doing something wrong... Not to mention the anxiety he always caused her...

Well coming to find out the doctors really don't know what they're doing, There trying this and that and this not really not making any Headway; just kind of telling me the same things over and over again. Then she starts to get a little better, they starting to get the meds correct. Now mind you,I've been at hospital with this girl for about 5 days now. Trying to deal with doctors and nurses and family and ex, All day and night. Not an easy thing to deal with while this is going on.

To catch you up a little bit on her family, her father works for the Post Office he goes around teaching some kind of system he's developed for them,so he's around the country on a regular basis. Her mother is in Ireland and doing a retracing of her heritage with the my girls sister , not to mention a bunch of other countries they were visiting at the time. Also let me catch you up to speed and what kind of people these people are,they are Mormons,
They really don't believe in medicine, not too well at least from where I was standing...As well there take on God is a little odd...To say the least...so maybe now you understand how this family is and how I'm trying to field them.

It's about the sixth day and she's in the hospital and finally the family begins to arrive my girl is not looking too good at this point and the doctor's pretty much say she's going to die...but she knows my voice and continues to talk to me and telling me how much she loves me. Me being the positive person I am don't believe this and continue on being positive.
Her mother finally shows up and thanks me for all the time I spent with her daughter and for being with her this whole time. Then a little later in the day the father shows up thanking me telling me how appreciative of my time he is and that from here they need to say their goodbyes to my girl...
Mind you at this point I have gotten very little sleep, going through a bunch of different Medical ups and downs and this is written all over my face and body I am tired. As the night before she went into cardiac arrhythmia twice meaning of her heart do not be in the correct way. The first time I had to use ketamine and shocker out of it, the second term I was able to talk her out of it, kind of freak the doctors out.They didn't know how I did it.
Anyway I agree with her father, that I need to go home and get some sleep and eat some food...so I do, but before I leave, I talked to my girl and ask her "do you want to live" "Do you want to fight this thing"? With a resounding "yes ,I do ,I love you"...

With that I tell her mother exactly what she told me she wants to live she wants to fight this thing she wants to Beat It. But considering that her mother had power of attorney and the way that they believe in their Mormonism, they thought the best thing to do was Let Her Go...
now I'm not one for seeing somebody in pain and I really hate to see that to be honest. But if someone tells me they want to stay around and give them a Fighting Chance I'm going to do that for them. As I leave the hospital they take her off all the medications that are helping her basically live and fight and basically mover into "hospice" position.

Sunday morning, I arrived at the hospital early in the morning to see how she's doing, got in a good report the night before, vitals were all very good she was doing well without all the medicines. Mind you they were still pumping all the morphine and Ativan into her as much as possible... To get her comfortable... I spent 5 hours with her at the hospital on Sunday and tell her I love her and go back home...
Things were looking up and I was giving that huge family time with their mother and sister,daughter.

About 5pm on Sunday evening I get a text she has passed,she had a turn for the worst,and went quickly...
Now,I'm not going to wrap up all my emotions all in this but, I didn't take it too well.
Well now she's gone the only thing I can do is say goodbye to her at the funeral,so I was looking forward to that... But due to this covid-19 virus the family did not invite me to a funeral due to limited space at the funeral... Hint, didn't take that well either... But on my own visited her myself and said the things that I needed to say, as well as letting some emotions out.
I just really want to say how special this girl was to me.She Truly made me happy. We made some promises to each other and plans to live this beautiful life together and grow. To fix things that were broken and mend them best we could. I would always tell her "Forever and Always" and she said would say "Always and Forever" so let our love go on and on and never stop may it be eternal.

I would like to say this don't ever feel like you're telling someone that you love them too much. I would say this all the time ,and she would say it back to me, I would tell her,don't say it back if you don't mean it,she would say, but I do mean it, every time I say it, otherwise I wouldn't handsome".
Live everyday to its fullest because you never know when your last day will be your last...Always tell the people you love, how much you love them. Show it because we are not defined by are words but are defined by are actions.

I will miss you my Aimee, My Angel, My Sweetness, you will be in this White Knights Heart Forever, till we meet again my Love in that great place in the sky.
-Jonathan S.


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


Edited by superbob57 (03/25/20 07:57 PM)


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57] * 1
    #26556781 - 03/25/20 10:23 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

:heart:

I know it sucks, but at least you got to know true love, and some people never get that. Venting is a good thing no matter where it is.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57] * 1
    #26556799 - 03/25/20 10:30 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

So sorry!! Just a crazy story...I can't believe her family wouldn't even agree to life saving medicines! One more reason to push organized religion to the side. I feel for you. :hug:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisiblePatrickKn
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26556807 - 03/25/20 10:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Fuck man, I'm sorry you are going through this. That's tragic.


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: PatrickKn]
    #26556876 - 03/25/20 10:56 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I thank you all for the condolences and I'm coming to find out it's better to loved and lost than never to loved at all. She will be missed at least by me... The weird thing is what I found out is that our family was ready to basically give up on her and basically wanted her gone. Too much trouble...sad...


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


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OfflineBooShow
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26557099 - 03/25/20 01:15 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

That's absolutely awful, man. I've never experienced a loss like that and can only imagine what it's like.
I'm so sorry for your loss.


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You are what is. That's all.


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Offlinesearching
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: BooShow]
    #26557256 - 03/25/20 03:02 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Superbob I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say. :sad:


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InvisibleSalomon
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: searching] * 2
    #26557499 - 03/25/20 05:39 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Op. I'm not going to say that I am sorry for you. You did everything you possibly have. You accepted her, her past, her children, her family, and you were there for her to the very end. You did good. You are a good soul. I wish you were there for her funeral.

You are strong, seriously. You're not killing yourself, and now is the time to feel. Really feel everything. You were ready to spend the rest of your life with her and you have. Nobody could have seen this coming. You truly love her. I don't use past tense, because you never really lose the memory and emotion. She lives on in you, her children, and her family.

But you have a piece of her soul, just as she has a piece of yours. Nobody could ever take that from you.

I'd hug you and and let you grieve upon my shoulder.  That piece of her soul is where the part of you that she took lives in you. So you will never be broken.

Be strong for the ones you still have breathing. Especially for yourself.


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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OfflineLikeMyc
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Salomon]
    #26557516 - 03/25/20 05:51 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

:heart:


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Salomon]
    #26557548 - 03/25/20 06:03 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Eloquently put Sal!:heart:


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26557594 - 03/25/20 06:22 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Fuck me man :sad: I'm so fucking sorry, my soul is crying for you. this is horrible. We are all here for you <3 fuck man..... :hug:


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Salomon] * 1
    #26557675 - 03/25/20 07:15 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks all I appreciate you all.
Thank you Sal well put, I needed that. Thankyou so much.
:hug:


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26558109 - 03/25/20 11:46 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I am so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you really loved her and did what you could. I love you Jonathan! Stay strong and I hope you get through this and live the happy life that she would want you to live.


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Lophosaurus] * 1
    #26558133 - 03/26/20 12:11 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Somehow you will find a way to honor her memory, I can't imagine the loss though we are here for you but that's pretty damn devastating and you're bound to feel the weight of that pain. Deal with it on earth though no matter how bad it hurts. The rest will take time.


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R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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InvisibleFiery
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #26558161 - 03/26/20 12:34 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

She is really dead.


Even though her human form may be busted.
Take comfort that she is alive in your heart.

and also her world.


It's a whole universe! Take her to the underworld.


It's tough to say, but at some point we both may find ourselves there.


Take your time !



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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Fiery] * 1
    #26563968 - 03/28/20 07:01 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Boy I miss her in my car, my bed, just by my side... I did feel she was with me yesterday; like it felt she was around I guess you could describe it...but I miss her....went through my you tube history and the Always & Forever was what we always
told each other. This song was made for me and this girl...amazing she picked this song to be our Song...mindblowing makes me weep....


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


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OfflineDarwin23
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26564001 - 03/28/20 07:15 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Damn, man. That breaks my heart. I can't imagine what you're thinking/feeling right now.


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Take a look at my journal


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InvisibleAsclepius
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26564017 - 03/28/20 07:23 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Brother, sorry to hear this.


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A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive




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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: Asclepius]
    #26564060 - 03/28/20 07:45 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I just want to hug you OP  :'(

:hug:


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26564510 - 03/29/20 04:37 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Thank you community in the last few that posted I appreciate all the condolences and uplifting words you're sending me. It does help to vent on this site since I've been here for a while I figured it was something I needed to people of like-mindedness talk about. I love how much diversity is around this place
Well she's getting a headstone soon I can't wait to see it, I love this girl very much and she is so special to me, love you all
Here is her gofundme;Hi, I'd really appreciate it if you would share or donate to this GoFundMe, https://gf.me/u/xqx8bq
You don't have to date anything but this girl met a whole lot to me and was super special and I want to see something special done for her. Peace & Love to you all!  ✌ & 💘 Forever & Always Our song Parachute- "Forever & Always"

This song was meant for Jonathan & Aimee ❤....Love you my Angel...Miss you....


Edited by superbob57 (03/31/20 11:34 PM)


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26572453 - 04/02/20 01:57 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Well it's her birthday today....what fukin bummer without her....


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26572753 - 04/02/20 07:50 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

It's OK, I'm sure she's with you in spirit. Celebrate the good times you had with her.:heart:


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #26572871 - 04/02/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I've come to realize that it's better to celebrate the good times we had. Went to go visit her on her birthday today brought some of the things she likes.
But when I was there I didn't feel like she was there I felt she was like with me I picture is a big radiant Angel to the right of me I'm always talking to her as if she's right next to me cuz she is... I love her very much and still do and I believe she loves me back as much as she's told me... All the way to the end I love you "Forever & Always"


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If I run full blast, I'll never get tired and If I slow down I get stuck, so I opened my mind and let the wild things in and there not going away but getting stronger, day by day, I will find the source of all things it's only a matter of time and I will be one with the universe once again my friends...I will never find the end but the start of a new begining...-J.R.S.A Man Of Experiences:lsdabc:...IV:syringe: 4-aco-DMT "Where Fools Rush In, and Angels Fear To Tread..." NN-DMT Pure Magic Wizard Dust!:wizard:
folio]http://www.redbubble.com/people/khaotehk/portfolio[/url]
https://youtu.be/C1_YHJDRgqE
:chesire: I miss you, I love you my Angel Aimee Renee Orme March 14th 2020. Always and Forever will are Love will go on, Forever & Always are Etched on my Heart. ❤


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26572885 - 04/02/20 09:26 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Here's a song for you two. Hope you enjoy it and the vid gives you a chuckle.



Always and forever
Each moment with you
Is just like a dream to me
That somehow came true, yeah
And I know tomorrow
Will still be the same
'Cause we got a life of love
That won't ever change and
Everyday love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together
Ooh baby, I'll always love you forever
Ever, ever, ever
There'll always be sunshine
When I look at you
It's something I can't explain
Just the things that you do
If you get lonely
Call me and take
A second to give to me
That magic you make and
Everyday love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together
Baby, baby, I'll always love you, forever
Ooh baby, ooh baby
Forever
(Always, forever love you)
Love you, love you
Always
(Always, forever love you)
Ever, ever, ever, forever
(Always, forever love you)
(Always, forever love you)
Ever, ever, ever, forever
And always I'll love you
Forever, ever, ever
Guess I'm the one who, guess I'm the one who loves you
Always
(Always, forever love you)
And forever I love you


--------------------


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OfflineThe Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 29 days, 8 hours
Re: Super bummed my Fiance died... [Re: superbob57]
    #26572898 - 04/02/20 09:33 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

:heart:


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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