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OfflineKorean Jesus
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My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip**
    #26543908 - 03/19/20 04:36 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Written Mar 18-19, 2020
Posted to Shroomery Mar 19, 2020

The Ineffable And Innumerable Benefits of Psychedelics on My Life


Premise:
This is gonna be pretty long. Feel free to skim if you wish, but I bet that it’ll be quite an interesting read by the time I’m done writing it.

I started a thread a little while back about how I don't think bad mushroom trips exist, that people just need to listen to what the mushrooms are trying to tell them. After pouring over many dreadful stories online as well as witnessing a friend go through a so-called "terror trip," I realize that what I should have said is that many trips that cause fear, intense stress, and general shitty feelings have the potential to be extremely good for the tripper. I acknowledge now that the view expressed in the previous post was too narrow in that it didn't encompass the full range of possible experiences, which include on the fringes truly awful experiences that cannot be classified as anything other than a bad trip. However, I still think that what I said applies to the vast majority of experiences, including those that most people would classify as "bad trips.”

In this post I will open up about my life, sharing my thoughts and experiences about the many amazing ways in which I’ve been affected by psychedelics. I’d like to share just how much some of these "bad trips” have helped my life and hopefully get some people to reconsider some uncomfortable thoughts that they’d put aside and relegated to paranoia from a bad trip. I will also speak to the benefits of every type of trip, including ones of pure ecstasy and unexplainable oddity, and hopefully convince some of the more cynical readers that perspective-changing thoughts should not be put aside due merely to the fact that they occurred while tripping. I am not a super experienced pyschonaut, at least compared to many members here, but with close to twenty psychedelic experiences (I haven't been counting, this is my estimate) under my belt, I do believe that I have experienced at least a sizeable portion of what is possible for one to experience using these substances. For the select few of you in real life who know of my shroomery account, I ask you to keep private the thoughts expressed below should you stumble upon this post.



Certainly, psychedelics will affect people differently based on their individual neuropsychologies. I do not claim that all of my experiences are directly applicable to anyone else’s life. However, there are likely more similarities in different people’s psychedelic experiences than there are differences.
For me, they have had such a profoundly good impact on my life, my relationships, and my mood in general that I don't know where I'd be without them. I got into pyschs looking for a good time, and even though I did receive a lot of those, the most important thing I received was therapy that I didn't even know I needed.



My Heroic Dose:
First, my inaugural and to date only (this will change) heroic dose mushroom experience. This trip was by far the most terrifying experience of my life. I watched my life play out in truly awful ways based on actions I saw myself taking but had no power to stop. I fully understood that I was myself, but I had dissociated enough that all I could do was watch from afar as the person I recognized as me went through hell. Although this trip did contain a few pockets of euphoria, it was dominated by the feeling of terrorizing helplessness that most people describe when they speak of bad trips.
I was relieved when the trip ended, thinking that it would all be over, but it had petrified me so much that I woke up several times that night as a result of brutal nightmares. Unpleasant dreams revolving around things I had experienced during the trip made up the remainder of dreams I had on the first night and reoccurred a few times on the second. I also experienced many dreams that were anxiety-provoking or mildy uncomfortable but did not have a clear relation to the trip; these were seemingly random and ebbed over the course of a few days before finally subsiding after three. They started out as alarming, such as dreaming about failing a test I had just taken, to somewhat bothersome, such as dreaming about rolling around in bed being unable to sleep, annoyed that I would wake up tired. Although my truly terrifying nightmares all occurred in the first night and the dreams had become nothing more than irritating by the third, it is very seldom that I have uncomfortable dreams in the first place (I don’t even remember having any dreams on most nights); true nightmares occur for me maybe once a year, and I haven’t been awakened by one since I was in middle school. All of this is to say that the trip was clearly frightening enough to leave a mark on my psyche and that it certainly fits the description of what most would call a bad trip.

However, as awful as I felt, I never had the impression that I should try to forget about it. Not only during but also immediately after the experience, I was absolutely convinced that the mushrooms were magical and somehow omniscient. From the onset of my visions, it was clear to me that I had to endure what I was going through and that the experience would be good for me. I’m thankful that I had this perspective.

Now, you ask, what did this nightmarish trip do for me?

For the majority of my life I have resented my older brother. Due to him having severe emotional problems, my parents gave him a lot of leeway as a child while at the same time expecting a lot more from me. This resentment meant that I did not root for his success, sometimes even hoping for the opposite. When I felt like he was being treated too nicely, I broke my parents' hearts by making callous remarks that hurt him. As I grew up, I began to ignore him rather than actively instigate him, and I spent the majority of high school minimizing interactions with a brother whom I harbored so much resentment for.
The trip allowed me to find real love for my brother. Not that I realized it during the experience, though I did realize I had found empathy for him – I understood many of his mental struggles, what he had to go through on a daily basis (the mushrooms made it feel karmic, like I deserved to be going through hell for not treating him well when he was going through hell – I don't believe that everything has a purpose or that things happen for a reason, but pyschedelics often make me feel this way, especially with higher doses). At some point in the days after, still pondering my thoughts during the trip, a flip switched. I became genuinely concerned for him. I wanted him to do well and felt guilty for disliking him for such inane reasons. I called him that day and mended our relationship in a 30 minute call. Even though I had been awful to him for so long, he didn't hold it over my head; he just wanted a loving brother. We talk daily now and I try my best to help him however I can. I truly enjoy bonding with him and relish his successes.

I’ll move on to the important things I’ve learned from my other trips, but this one trip actually had many other benefits, most of which are enumerated at the bottom of this post. My point is that instead of being a “bad trip,” it was actually the single best thing that ever happened to me.



Other Notable Trips:
Next, some of my lower dose mushroom experiences and all three of my mescaline experiences. A few were uncomfortable, a few were unbelievably blissful, most were pretty great.

Although I had a pretty good relationship with my parents in most areas, I disrespected them because I thought I was smarter than them. I thought this because I had high test scores and prestigious college admissions that they did not. I didn't acknowledge that they were immigrants who came here with no money and yet had been successful enough to give me a great life and pay for many things for me that they had never had as children. Who was I to judge their intelligence, as a college student who had never worked a job in my life, when they had been able to go from almost nothing to considerable wealth? I was a spoiled child with little understanding of the qualities that truly mattered in life.

These trips had me relive many childhood memories, as well as a few recent ones. Most of them I simply had not thought about for some time, while others were forgotten and then uncovered during the trip (disclaimer: though I believe this to be the case, there is no way to affirm it given the acute psychosis that psychedelics present). Most of the forgotten memories seemed to be from my very early childhood, around ages 3-7 (I have continuous rich memories of my life after 8 years old, but before that they are more scattered). What many of these memories showed me was just how amazing my parents were to me. Even when I was an asshole, even when I disregarded their advice and got myself in trouble, even when I was flippant and unappreciative, they were always super kind to me. Though they could have focused all their attention on my brother at a young age, they made sure to spend equal time with me so that I wouldn't feel left out. When I got in trouble at school, they would always have my back and try to make the best of the situation (I never got in any serious trouble, but I acted out in the classroom as a child, likely a symptom of my manageable but obviously present ADHD). The only times they would flip and scream at me would be when I treated my brother poorly, and the next day they would be back to doing whatever they could to make me happy. I realized that it was the way I would disrespect them and make little effort to make them happy was unacceptable after all they had done for me throughout my life. I started calling them weekly and texting with at least one of them on most days. This was not done out of guilt, but out of a much-strengthened sense of love for them I had developed. Instead of being insolent, I hear out and consider their views when I disagree with them. I haven't started cursing once in an argument since, nor have I started yelling and marched off even in matters that I believe I was clearly correct in. These things may be normal for most children, but for me, they represent a very positive change in my demeanor.



Every Experience Considered:
Finally, a medley of positive changes from a medley of psychedelic experiences (acid, mesc, shrooms, salvia). These adventures ranged from terrifying (the aforementioned heroic dose) to euphoric (my 450ug acid trips and my higher-dose mescaline experiences stand out above the rest), from familiar (calming and beautiful color change, shape distortion and amazing music on low-dose acid trips) to alien (4g mushrooms on 30 inches of bridgesii made my own face so foreign I could no longer recognize myself and a couch so odd that I could no longer imagine it as something one could sit on), from foreseen (lsd tends to have the most predictable effects) to stunning (smelling weed on mescaline probably stands out as the most unexpectedly amazing thing I’ve ever done), from simple (the absolutely perfect combination of sweet and sour from eating a clementine on any psychedelic) to baffling (simultaneously feeling happy, sad, confident and anxious from 4g shrooms), from out of place (salvia stands out but I’ve felt this on pretty much everything) to an overpowering feeling belonging (mescaline stands out but I’ve also felt this on pretty much everything).

1. I thought I was a happy person, but I was not. I thought I was happy because I could enjoy myself playing games, buying things, hanging out with friends, etc. I compared myself to my brother, who had depression, which convinced me that I was a very happy person. But I was consumed by envy for those with more money than me. I was consumed with envy anybody who had something that I didn't (even though I had more than most). Above all, I was consumed by envy for people who were successful. Except for my closest friends and family members, I would wish for the failure of anyone who was successful.

While tripping on high (3g+) shrooms doses, especially on my 5g heroic dose, the realization slowly dawned on me that I could not have been a happy person if this was my mentality. Every single high dose shroom trip told me that I was pathetic for having this feeling, making me feel like shit and almost turning me off of shrooms completely. Miraculously though, through many empathogenic psychedelic experiences, I slowly lost this feeling of schadenfreude. Even though I welcomed its loss, it would come back a little weaker after each trip was over, slowly reverting back to its full strength in the coming days. At some point however, it started to remain gone for days after a trip. It would then slowly come back but not up to its prior strength. At last, ever since my second beautiful mescaline experience, it has remained gone. I haven’t tripped at all in the past couple of weeks, and it hasn’t shown any signs of re-emergence. Had I chalked up my initial realizations as junk from a bad trip (as I almost did!), I would be notably less happy today. Whether it was the empathogenic properties of psychedelics that stuck in my psyche (most studies dispute this possibility but personally it feels like what happened), or other effects simply led to more healthy thoughts, it is clear that psychedelics played an extremely large part in getting rid of this unnecessary negativity. Indeed, lack of schadenfreude has played a large part in making me a happier person, leading to my second point:

2. My mood in general is far better. I don’t anger as easily, I don’t sadden as quickly, and yet I am more easily amused; I derive greater happiness from things ranging from minor to massive, and my default state is to be content. Before my first trip, I might not have been a happy person, but I certainly wasn’t a sad person. I never considered any therapy or drugs to improve my general mood, because why would I? I thought everyone gets happy sometimes and sad at other times. With regards to my mood, I thought I was normal and thought no more of it.

Now, I am almost never in a bad mood. Setting aside the unavoidable boredom that accompanies the work in some of my classes, I can go weeks without feeling net negative at any moment. The most angry I have felt in the past two months was when I got a terrible grade on a test I had studied very hard for and thought I had done well on. When I felt like I was going to explode, I left the room I was in and walked around listening to music. Within a few minutes, I had fully calmed down, and 15 minutes later I was unbothered and dying laughing at a TV show with two friends who had both done exceedingly well on the exam. This is in stark contrast to my reaction to a similar situation last year. That time, I became infuriated and started yelling to my friends about how my teacher is a psychotic bitch and the world is rigged against me. When I learned that one of my friends had gotten a decent score (far better than mine but not amazing by any stretch of the imagination), I became so angry at him that I had to leave the room so that he wouldn’t know I wasn’t happy for him. In the past month, more than one person has remarked that I always seem to be in a good mood, which is a huge shift not only from my adolescent years, when I was often upset or sad, but also from right before my first trip, when I was just “normal.” I angered much more quickly, didn’t smile or laugh as much, and I didn’t have as positive an outlook on situations and on life in general. This leads right into my third benefit:

3. My general outlook has completely changed. While my outlook used to be defined by unadulterated pessimism, it has transformed into moderate optimism. The two pros above are things that had slowly been improving over the course of my life, but this change truly came out of nowhere. Simply put, for my entire life, murphy’s law has been my sentiment on anything unknown. It did not matter whether I had recently experienced a streak of nasty failures or great successes, my outlook would not change because it was so firmly rooted in my personality. My outlook had a secondary effect of impeding my sense of appreciation. I was never thankful for any advantage I had been given. Rather than appreciating the luck I had had in my life, I was angry at those who I perceived as being luckier. When I got lucky, I deserved it, and when something did not go my way, it was because I was being screwed. I was aware of this feeling in some capacity but it was distorted in my mind to the extent that I considered it a good attribute; I looked down upon those who did think they deserved everything in the world.

I noticed early on that my outlook could change on psychedelics. However, this was not positive change; it would only manifest itself in negative thought loops, where the pessimism would worsen and develop into paranoia (I actually noticed this phenomenon for the first time when I got too high on weed). After my hellish heroic dose experience, though, something about me changed: I became grateful and appreciative for what I had. Having experienced terror, grief, and the feeling of losing my mind, aware that the experience was supposed to end eventually but terrified that it never would, I became grateful for the fact that I was not mentally ill, that I was not losing my mind, that I had been given a second lease on life. This led to me becoming grateful for the fact that I had a loving family, that I had been given a great education, that I had the resources to pursue my dreams, and most of all that I had a mind capable of complex thought; I became grateful for the fact that I was indeed lucky. That realization was the end of my pessimistic attitude. I was taken aback a month later when, while consoling a friend, she told me “well you always think everything is gonna be ok.” At that point, I was still under the impression I was a raging pessimist. I started to think about my thoughts over the past month, and I was astonished to recognize that I was no longer a pessimist. Indeed, I now had a propensity towards believing everything would be okay. My outlook changed in other ways, too, namely what is and isn’t important in life:

4. My grades have always had an outsized importance in my life. For me, they have long represented a reflection of one’s intelligence, and my intelligence is probably the most valuable thing to me. Unfortunately, throughout most of my life, I have had an absolutely atrocious work ethic. This disastrous combination of factors led me to dark places early on in high school, when I would become angry, blame the world for screwing me, and wallow in self-pity every time I got a terrible grade. Of course, it was largely my fault for never studying for anything, but I would always find someone else to blame. Over time, I figured out how to finesse the system. I didn’t work that much harder in my later years of high school, but I was able to receive excellent grades through sucking up to teachers and employing tactics with the sole purpose of getting me a good grade. My value system developed into the belief that learning was useless, and the only thing that mattered was getting letters on a page that didn’t even reflect my knowledge in the class.

My heroic dose, however, changed all of this. Forced to see myself as a pathetic, miserable failure, I rethought my ideal future, and I began to realize that what mattered in life was not whether I got an A- or an A in Calculus, but instead what skills I could bring to the real world. One of the less awful ways my life played out was when I created a business and worked hard to make sure I was selling a good product (I did say less awful; I still ended up dying alone in that vision :smile:). It made me consider the two halves of my senior year: the first half, where my only concern was finessing grades in classes I didn’t care about, and the senioritis half, where I was no longer concerned with my grades and ended up spending a lot of time teaching myself python and working on python projects. I realized that I no longer gave a shit what grade I got in physics, but my knowledge of python could still be useful if I used it to create something of actual value. I came to internalize the famous axiom that I could use my time much more effectively if instead of fucking around and then at the last second trying to finesse grades in classes I don’t care about, I took classes whose knowledge I feel would actually aid my endeavors in life.

As a side effect, this new outlook has ameliorated my abhorrent work ethic in many of my classes, because instead of only trying to get a good grade, my primary goal has shifted to learning things that will help me pursue business endeavors and projects that I am now excited to try. It turns out that I’m actually a pretty hard worker when I’m doing stuff that I like, and I’m not that bad when I don’t consider what I’m doing useless. Of all of the benefits I’ve listed here, this is probably the one that I would have been most likely to learn on my own as I matured. Still, I’m grateful that I’ve acquired this new perspective about life at 18 instead of 5 years out of college.

5. The penultimate benefit I’m going to describe is one that I have never seen described in my (somewhat extensive) research: psychedelics, especially shrooms, as well as weed to a lesser extent, have become far more enjoyable. When I first started tripping, I couldn’t go a full trip without going into anxiety-ridden thought loops for at least a small part of the experience. Psilocybin in particular would ALWAYS make me feel out of place and uncomfortable at least until other positive aspects of the trip could distract me (this would often take a few hours – almost half the trip – and sometimes the shitty feeling would remain the whole time), and I had no idea why. Well, it turns out that it’s because the shrooms were trying to tell me something, and they just needed a heroic dose to do it. As I’ve used them more, they have only become more enjoyable. My past few shrooms trips have truly felt like a different substance. No negative thought loops, much reduced anxiety, and a far more playful feeling in general. I haven’t had a large dose of acid in a while, but even in small-to-medium doses, it feels far more enjoyable than it did three months ago, when I would’ve felt uncomfortable because the lower-dose-effects were not enough to mask the underlying feeling of being out of place. Even getting super high on weed no longer gives me the paranoia it once did (just a little anxiety), which leads me to my final thought:

6. I am undoubtably far less anxious than I used to be. As a child, I was anxious about everything, to the point where I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. As I grew up, my ego got in the way of my anxiety and I began to lose many of its more debilitating aspects. Public speaking and taking my ACT exam didn’t scare me one bit because I had confidence in my abilities, and rollercoasters didn’t scare me at all either because in looking at ride statistics I was given confidence that they were safe. However, whenever I approached a situation in which I did not have a high level of confidence, strong, irrational anxieties would return in full force, even when I knew they were irrational (which was most of the time). Do I know few people at a party? Strong anxieties would strongly discourage me from going. Should I go for a hot girl if there’s a sizeable chance of rejection? It’d be hard because I’d have to battle these same strong anxieties. Now, as a man who not only demands excellence from himself, but also has strong confidence in some areas, I have not come across as an anxious person for many years. But even as I learned to cope (somewhat) with my irrational anxieties by simply ignoring them, their lingering in the background significantly reduced the quality of my life. It appears to me though, that after feeling the level of fear that I felt on my heroic dose, that my brain was somehow desensitized to it. Not including the use of cannabis or adderall (the former of which I don't use very often and the latter of which I use relatively rarely), I have felt anxious maybe once or twice in the past couple of months. Some things that would always, 100% of the time cause anxiety for me simply NEVER do anymore. I can attempt new things in front of others that I have a high probability of sucking at, I can attempt old things in front of others that I know for sure I suck at, and still, zero anxiety. Insanely enough, I became the crazily fearless person in the room that I had always looked up to due to them not having the shackles on their mind that I did. For those of you who have never had a chronic anxiety disorder, it is hard to conceptualize how much it reduces quality of life. I didn’t even realize the extent to which it did until I started living life without it. Looking back now, I can see just how much unnecessary, useless hurt it caused me (hint: a lot).



Final Thoughts:
All of this is not to say that psychedelics are holy scriptures. Despite the intense feelings of spirituality that they produce, they are nothing more than psychoactive drugs that alter your perspective. What makes them so amazingly helpful is their ability to break down the walls you and your subconscious have erected for the purpose of protecting your ego. They reveal to you the thoughts in the deep recesses of your mind that any logical person would be able to deduce from the outside but that are almost impossible to do as the individual in question. Through dissociation, they allow you to think about your life and your actions as a third party.

Not all psychedelic thoughts are created equal. Your subconscious contains almost as much garbage as your conscious, maybe more. I think I share with a lot of people the experience of looking into a mirror on my first trip and convincing myself of my ugliness, only to look again after coming down and seeing none of the problems I was obsessing over while tripping.

But my overarching point is that one shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss all negative thoughts as stupid paranoias. When as a result of my gluttony, my stomach exploded and I slowly melted to death, did that mean my heroic dose was causing stupid visions? Well, maybe, but it also meant that I probably should have shared my food with my friend the week before when he was starving and I wasn’t even hungry anymore. So instead of discarding that horrific vision, I internalized its message and became a better person by remembering to share my food the next time I was put in a similar situation.


When I joined this forum, I was told many things that I did not believe until I experienced them myself. I hope my specific experiences are more credible than the well-intentioned platitudes often expressed here and elsewhere.

Happy tripping y’all, and make sure to stay safe.

:mushroom2:


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:rastamon::getstoned::rastamon:


Edited by Korean Jesus (03/19/20 08:38 AM)


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Offlineclockworkshroom
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus] * 1
    #26543940 - 03/19/20 05:48 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

That is a very interesting read indeed, I have never done a heroic dose, I'm scared it might change my relationships, for example with my daughter. I'm also scared it might blow my mind completely! I'm on SNRIs (trying to reduce currently) and suffer from anxiety, I think a heroic dose might leave me in an asylum!


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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: clockworkshroom]
    #26543946 - 03/19/20 06:00 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

A heroic dose can definitely change relationships. They can strengthen them or reveal toxicities that make you want to end them. In the case of your daughter however, I highly doubt any toxicities would turn a father away from his daughter.

Of a bit more concern is the potential to "blow one's mind completely." These types of things can definitely make you delusional/psychotic during and even immediately after the trip... I was pretty convinced for a few days that the mushrooms had revealed to me the truths of the universe and that what I had seen was some sort of prophecy. Pretty wild now that I think about it. But these types of things are unexplainably profound.

If you want to do a heroic dose but are scared of potential negative effects you could always build up really slowly (like 3 → 3.5 → 4 → 4.5 → 5) and stop if you feel it start to get out of hand. Looking back, I probably should have done something like 4g to prepare me for the experience. I had done 3g but only while I still had ridiculous tolerance from an acid trip the day before (I didn't realize they had cross-tolerance), so I effectively went into it blind. Wouldn't recommend that.


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InvisibleShr00mEater
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus] * 1
    #26543954 - 03/19/20 06:10 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I won’t lie. I didn’t read it all, but skimmed the parts that caught my eye and read this last post you made.

That’s some good stiff right there KJ. :thumbup:


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus] * 1
    #26544089 - 03/19/20 07:50 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I’m working from home dude, and really stressed and under pressure, so just skimmed to the end. I’ll read in full tonight, KJ 👍🏻

I, not 100% with you on anyone form the outside can see what’s wrong etc; I would add to that, after years and years of psychotherapy, whereas mushrooms may show you in one trip.

But fascinating stuff, sir, thanks for the comprehensive post; will digest later........


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“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26547187 - 03/20/20 05:23 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
I, not 100% with you on anyone form the outside can see what’s wrong etc; I would add to that, after years and years of psychotherapy, whereas mushrooms may show you in one trip.




Yup. You know yourself better than any specialist ever could.


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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26547241 - 03/20/20 05:50 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)



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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Amanita86]
    #26547741 - 03/20/20 10:27 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

There's no purpose for anything. Life is an accident.

So fucking enjoy it


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26547849 - 03/21/20 12:05 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

You sure?




Or is that just what you tell yourself?  :shrug2:


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Amanita86]
    #26547854 - 03/21/20 12:08 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Might as well be given the statistical likelihood that life is an accident with no purpose (≈1)


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:rastamon::getstoned::rastamon:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26547941 - 03/21/20 01:13 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Well, when you put serious consideration into what ‘nothing’ is, seems we have all this stuff like space/time/matter and everything on up from that.  The impossibility of this happening means it could happen again.  A random blip of this, out of absolutely nothing.. it gets weird.  What even is nothing?  Can you actually even have nothing?

I don’t know man, I just don’t get it.  I think we’re here and it’s about as significant as it gets.


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
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:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Amanita86]
    #26547951 - 03/21/20 01:27 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Everything you believe in is simply an amalgam of chemical reactions. You are nothing more than a complex automaton. "Significance" has no meaning and nothing that is significant to you will survive the heat death of the universe which guarantees the dissolution of all polyatomic structures.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26547954 - 03/21/20 01:29 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

My amalgam is pretty significant..


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Amanita86]
    #26547964 - 03/21/20 01:37 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

🤷🏻‍♂️


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26547972 - 03/21/20 01:44 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

You reduce it to it’s minimal, I look at the sum of it’s whole.  You know what I’m saying?

You could look at things as a basic ingredient, or the best meal you’ve ever eaten.  I get we’re basically chemical reactions but look at the reaction those chemicals are having.

Also, I don’t think it’s an accident.


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineSFS96
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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Amanita86]
    #26547988 - 03/21/20 02:05 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I don’t believe life is a accident, when I first started doing LSD and mushrooms I was convinced that life was meaningless and a accident but that was actually my ego talking. Over the years psychedelics have have shown me that there’s more... once you have experienced the creator there’s nothing that will convince you more that life is full of meaning. Iv experienced it on only extremely high doses of mushrooms or LSD and once you see it you can’t go back to your old thinking. Maybe people would say I was just tripping balls but I know what I felt and it was truth.


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How I make and preserve tea


Consuming consumes a man That was never a purpose of life To only crave for material joys Is believing the lie - Mellow Mood


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Re: My personal perspective on how pyschedelics changed my life **must read if you've had a bad trip** [Re: Korean Jesus] * 1
    #26548008 - 03/21/20 02:16 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I had a super-heroic dose of liberty caps many years ago, and it left me with a decades long fear of dying. I concluded then, and mushroom use subsequently has confirmed my bias, that we do not ever die;,we only die physically, but the consciousness lives on, forever. I believe there is some kind of karma going on, where after a spell in “the holding room” our consciousnesses are thrust into a new body, and we have another chance at life.

So as I’ve got older, my fear of dying has morphed into a joy of living. I believe life is a gift, though for what purpose I still have no idea!

Great post, Korean_Jesus 👍🏻
DJ Ed


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“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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