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OfflineThanatos10
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Is friendship selfish?
    #26536766 - 03/15/20 02:14 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

https://medium.com/@krisgage/friendship-is-a-waste-of-my-time-2a48a1b01831

From this post it makes it seem like friendships are awful drains on us.


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As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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InvisibleTheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26536796 - 03/15/20 02:34 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I think friendship is selfish if you or the other person are bitch.  And I don't mean bitch as in a female, I mean a bitch as in that's how your attitude comes across.  That's why men are much more capable of having decent, low drama, low stress level friendships with each other.  Although some men are bitches too, I think men are more likely to have what I would consider honest friendships.  We are more forgiving, more understanding, less judgmental, less likely to cut someone out for something trivial, less likely to "keep score".


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Invisible1234go
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #26536814 - 03/15/20 02:43 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Not really.  It just depends on the person, and not the gender.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: 1234go]
    #26536883 - 03/15/20 03:33 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I was mostly getting at what the link is trying to say, which seems to go beyond simple gender differences.


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InvisiblePlain
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Thanatos10] * 1
    #26536920 - 03/15/20 04:07 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Life is a sandbox.

Play as you please.

Allow your imagination to shape your experience.

Avoid living someone elses narrative.

Enjoy.


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"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Plain]
    #26536948 - 03/15/20 04:21 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Plain said:
Life is a sandbox.

Play as you please.

Allow your imagination to shape your experience.

Avoid living someone elses narrative.

Enjoy.




No it's not a sandbox but more like a chain of dominoes, but that's besides the point. Also you are always living someone else's narrative even if you think you aren't.

That doesn't address the like or what they are implying about friendship.


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As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26536984 - 03/15/20 04:43 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Friendship should be symbiotic, I can imagine an ideal symbiotic friendship, but I've forsure mostly experienced the selfishness of it unfortunately


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: trees]
    #26538319 - 03/16/20 10:20 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Where TF is dylan? He needs to see this, lol.

Comment from the article:

Inara Michele
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Jul 4, 2019 · 1 min read

You nailed this. I’ve often felt “friendships” are parasitic, almost vampiric. Most of the people I am friends with have insinuated themselves in my life without my consent and have rooted down before I could notice. Almost all of them leave me drained in all of our interactions. I am always the party that provides the value, the advice etc. I’ve expressed this a few times to people who I thought were of like mind and they have call me sociopathic. I even started believing it since I am severely misanthropic and I rarely enjoy conversations or interactions with humans, and although I can have fun, those times are usually very far and few in-between and always on my own terms. Then I realized, I couldn’t be sociopathic because I spend so much time caring about living beings and rescuing sick and unwanted animals. So I care about something. I just don’t have the ability to cope with useless vapid conversation and almost no interest in anything human beings have to offer. I do have a couple of people in my life that I cherish and they all have those traits that you described in your article. Specifically they are not clingy, they have their shit together and they make no demands on my time.



So, these 2 people actually are saying unless it benefits my idea of what a "friend" is I don't want them around. These "types" of people are usually assholes and shitty to everyone they don't approve of. Yes there are a couple of good points in the article, but it doesn't make them less of an asshole/bitch to act that way to other people. I think that "useless vapid conversation" is subjective to the person, and there's a lot to be said for idle conversation especially when out and about/being social. Why the FUCK would a person go out to socialize if all they're going to do is judge/scrutinize/rate every single person that comes in contact verbally with them?


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InvisiblePlain
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Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26539878 - 03/17/20 03:20 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Quote:

Plain said:
Life is a sandbox.

Play as you please.

Allow your imagination to shape your experience.

Avoid living someone elses narrative.

Enjoy.




No it's not a sandbox but more like a chain of dominoes, but that's besides the point. Also you are always living someone else's narrative even if you think you aren't.

That doesn't address the like or what they are implying about friendship.




Do what you want.

Dont take yourself to seriously.

Just live.

Its pretty straight forward.

Everything anybody does is done in self interest.

Is friendship selfish?
If so? So what?


--------------------
"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
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Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 3,962
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Is friendship selfish? [Re: Plain] * 1
    #26539883 - 03/17/20 03:31 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I believe it takes a lot of work and mostly luck to get a perfect group of friends, if you are lazy and just stick with the same old you’ll always have a toxic group. Gotta have the right blend of personalities it’s hard to find in my opinion. Most people are just too busy, down in life or whatever.


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