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treeman8
explorer

Registered: 03/07/20
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First Shroom Trip Report and Ego Death
#26522088 - 03/07/20 11:31 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Two weeks ago I had my first psychedelic experience. I'll go through a rundown of it with some focus on specific parts. I have questions about certain things. They'll be at the end.
Mindset going into it-- Going into mushrooms I believed I was ready for whatever it threw at me. I hadn't done a ton of research but I don't have any sort of anxiety. I didn't know that the feeling was what shrooms are all about. I was too focused on the visuals.
6:00pm - drank 2.5g of dried mushrooms ~7:00 - Starting set in, feeling great
-not sure when I did the rest but here's what I did do.
My friends and I (they were also tripping) went to the roof of a building on campus. Beautiful view, I've never loved clouds so much. No visuals and kind of feel like a more euphoric THC high. Almost got locked on the roof but there was an emergency exit, went back to the residence and off to my friend's room.
We all went to her room; she was with us tripping. Couple drunk people there, quite but still not with the vide. I'm definitely feeling great and I can't think. very externalized but in a good way. I forgot to mention that I lost my keys to my room and I had all the shrooms so we had to get my key from the front office. My friends had me laughing so hard.
Anyways we made it to hers, I grabbed this book I have with every single picture of the louvre. She and I looked at that book for hours, it was great. I find pretty often I always carry my own headphones around so I can always vibe even when people play music I don't like. Put those in so I didn't have to listen to the drunk chicks. My friend has these colored lights set up so bright that they become ambient and have no direction. Essentially everything becomes whatever color the lights are.
Still no visuals but I'm on the comedown, we decide that we want to paint so we go to my room and I set everything up. I decided that I was ready for more shrooms even though it was my first time. It took me 50mins to make another cup of tea, this time only 2g. During this time I was relatively sober, I made the tea we painted and recorded on my 90s camera. 2nd does was at ~9pm
We hear of a party upstairs and decide to go, I drink the 2g and were off. We go upstairs where lots of people are drunk, high, on shrooms, crossed. Everyone was having a good time, I was chilling and filming some stuff. Because I'm still a bit sober I get impatient and decide to smoke some weed. The guy's room I was in had some crazy strong Indica that makes even hardcore stoners incapable. He was out of ground flower so for some reason keef was my go-to. I packed this legendary sized keef bowl and as soon as I hit it I was wet with sweat. That only lasted a second so then I just partied and waited.
30mins later. This is where it starts. This was the trip I was looking for. I was sitting straight up on this guy's bed and all of a sudden the light switch goes off. It all hit at once, I was the higher I've ever been and the fractals were in full swing. I sat for about 2 minutes but got way to sweaty and had to go to the bathroom. Noone knew it hit me yet, I kept my composure.
Now I'm alone, sitting on the toilet. I can't tell if ill throws up or not, I didn't. I was dripping with sweat and could barely see the visuals were so intense. There were a few times I was so sweaty I thought I pissed myself. It's pretty intense but there were only about 2 mins where I thought it might be too much. I eventually figured out what happened and calmed down. I know I'm describing this much more intense than it really was. I didn't know this would happen but I was ready for it. I made my way to my friend's room to get my camera and head to my room.
Got to my room, visuals are interesting but I was less high to it was as bad. I didn't realize until after that most of what I felt was the weed, this was a whole new level of high. I lay in bed. This is where my first splitting of personality starts. If the first does was lv 1 or lv 2 trips than we were already on the fast track to ego death.
From this point, I spent the rest of the night doing random tasks, art, writing, reading, music. After a while, I had completely reached out of the body. This is an important part of the trip and what I really wonder about. In this time where my ego, personality completely dissolved into nothing, I never had any feeling to hold on. I didn't know I was gone until I looked at my phone and stopped reacting to what I saw. I wrote my feelings in a word document and saved it. Later I recorded a video log or two but they didn't make any sense.
It's hard to explain but ill make my best effort. Laying on my bed, I felt that at every given second I was a different part of my personality. Maybe this is just new to me but thinking of a unit of time that represents any unit of time is strange. I suppose it is simply a variable. SO for x amount of time, I was a different person. Sooner than later I wasn't even that, I felt as if my body and my mind was separate and that I had ascended. There was no me, I was simply a stream of consciousness that could make pure decisions unaffected by ego. My body still needed food and water, I felt that this was myself driving my body to its needs. Throughout this I had zero self-contemplation, nothing was left of me so I had nothing to think about. People described profound self-realization during these trips but I didn't find anything about myself as there wasn't anything there.
My question is why didn't any part of me try to hold on, why did it happen so smoothly. For a first experience, it's pretty insane and I cant there was a single time that I said I shouldn't have done this or that I want it to stop. Why did I so easily accept ego death? How did I blow so far past myself that there was no internal analysis?
For the next few days after I felt great. Very clear, I could remember better, I could study easier, and think easier. A very positive experience.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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Re: First Shroom Trip Report and Ego Death [Re: treeman8]
#26523389 - 03/08/20 05:36 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have heard it said, that every three seconds a different self unfolds, addresses perception, and fades while the next three second self context (mask) presents, perceives and transfers to the next. This stream of consciousness is sustained until sleep washes over the mind; and even then the stillness can be interrupted while something like the stream of consciousness happens in dreams - but it is less continuous.
sometimes the personality handoff between aspects of self is faster. this is all a bit more complex than a knee jerk reflex, but is reflex just the same.
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treeman8
explorer


Registered: 03/07/20
Posts: 26
Loc: canada
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: First Shroom Trip Report and Ego Death [Re: redgreenvines]
#26523676 - 03/08/20 10:01 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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That sounds right. I had my second trip yesterday starting at 3 pm and it was much better. Different, less intense, but a lot more introspection.
-------------------- Aedan -- explorer
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Oldnameforgotten
Traveler


Registered: 10/19/19
Posts: 956
Loc: Pilbara Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 days
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Re: First Shroom Trip Report and Ego Death [Re: treeman8]
#26524181 - 03/08/20 03:55 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
treeman8 said: That sounds right. I had my second trip yesterday starting at 3 pm and it was much better. Different, less intense, but a lot more introspection.
Like if we were camping?
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treeman8
explorer


Registered: 03/07/20
Posts: 26
Loc: canada
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Perhaps?
-------------------- Aedan -- explorer
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Oldnameforgotten
Traveler


Registered: 10/19/19
Posts: 956
Loc: Pilbara Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 days
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Re: First Shroom Trip Report and Ego Death [Re: treeman8]
#26525670 - 03/09/20 03:27 PM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
treeman8 said: Perhaps?
We would be...... in tents.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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that was punnitive
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treeman8
explorer


Registered: 03/07/20
Posts: 26
Loc: canada
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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tents you say
-------------------- Aedan -- explorer
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