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Invisiblepsi
TOAST N' JAM
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Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,458
Loc: 613 Flag
Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #26521921 - 03/07/20 09:31 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Ime everyone likes talking about themselves. Even if they don't think they do.

If you listen they will come.


Seriously being a good listener is probably the easiest way to make friends. It's more than half of what people want from a friend and the good ones reciprocate.





This was always my problem socially when I was younger, if prompted I would answer questions about myself but I would not clue in that I was also supposed to be giving the other person that kind of in.


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: psi]
    #26521932 - 03/07/20 09:36 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I have the opposite in that I cant think of anything to say about myself and feel like they'll be judgin me lol. I feel like I bombard new people with 'get to know you' questions and it feels like an interview


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Offlinefeldman114
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Registered: 09/06/19
Posts: 3,365
Loc: Bravos
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: psi]
    #26521934 - 03/07/20 09:37 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

If you were really an introvert, you wouldn’t be looking for people to be around:crankey:
You’d just wallow in your loneliness, forever:sad:


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: feldman114]
    #26521940 - 03/07/20 09:41 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I dont necessarily enjoy social interactions much at all but if you have no one to hang out with where you live, that'll just drive you insane.

I have trouble makin connections with people that arent romantic. I feel as tho every time I try to make friends it just ends up with me flirting with every girl that I meet and then dumping my emotional baggage on her as soon as she seems remotely comfortable lol. When I try to meet people, or look on instagram to see people in my area that I can maybe try to contact, it's just always me keeping an eye out for females and who I am attracted to, and just ignoring all the males entirely. I guess the overwhelming majority of my social life since I was like 14 was just with girlfriends and I would always get too invested so I never really developed good friendships. My confidence with women is unrealisitcally high but the last thing I need right  now is that. My confidence with potential bros is zero.

I feel like I got female energy, dawg. Would explain a lot of my past lol


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InvisibleAsante
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Registered: 02/06/02
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26521989 - 03/07/20 10:11 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
I dont necessarily enjoy social interactions much at all but if you have no one to hang out with where you live, that'll just drive you insane.





That makes for an interesting opening line to a complete stranger at the bus stop.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisiblePsicomb
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Registered: 01/13/18
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Asante]
    #26521999 - 03/07/20 10:15 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
Quote:

Near Dylan said:
I dont necessarily enjoy social interactions much at all but if you have no one to hang out with where you live, that'll just drive you insane.





That makes for an interesting opening line to a complete stranger at the bus stop.



Couldn't agree more.


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When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26522074 - 03/07/20 11:17 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
I have the opposite in that I cant think of anything to say about myself and feel like they'll be judgin me lol. I feel like I bombard new people with 'get to know you' questions and it feels like an interview




Ask one question, then ask a follow up question about that or their answer or make a point about that topic.

Then when the topic reasonably exhausts itself then you can move on to the next thing.

Also, this is something I seriously struggle with (and people called me a good listener before), but you can ask a question without asking a question. "man I love tacos." Prompts them to follow up with "I love tacos too." and then you follow up with "what's your favorite taco place?"

Conversation has a natural flow. I like the pub because, aside from trolling, grems, and shitposting, there always seems to be a natural flowing conversation in most of these threads. As you would expect among friends or at least people who are friendly with one another.

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
I dont necessarily enjoy social interactions much at all but if you have no one to hang out with where you live, that'll just drive you insane.

I have trouble makin connections with people that arent romantic. I feel as tho every time I try to make friends it just ends up with me flirting with every girl that I meet and then dumping my emotional baggage on her as soon as she seems remotely comfortable lol. When I try to meet people, or look on instagram to see people in my area that I can maybe try to contact, it's just always me keeping an eye out for females and who I am attracted to, and just ignoring all the males entirely. I guess the overwhelming majority of my social life since I was like 14 was just with girlfriends and I would always get too invested so I never really developed good friendships. My confidence with women is unrealisitcally high but the last thing I need right  now is that. My confidence with potential bros is zero.

I feel like I got female energy, dawg. Would explain a lot of my past lol




This is an extremely common phenomena among men and, on behalf of women everywhere, thank you for trying to address it.
Alot of guys have a hard time making connections with just friends and place all their social needs on women they want to date or are dating. It's exhausting and it builds unnecessary strain on a relationship. Which I'm sure you've come to realize based on your posts.

Even if you join a sports team or a church or something and have no interaction with those people outside of that setting it's miles better than having no social life outside of her. And sometimes, for an introvert, that's all you really need anyway.



I've come to realize that having too many eggs in one basket, too much of my life limited to one person, is bad as well. It doesn't matter how much you like or love them and they you, you need to have a life outside of them.
At the very least you become boring. I've seen it in older men who haven't had a meaningful relationship outside of their spouse in 20+ years. Even if they're terribly interesting people they're not sharing their interests anywhere which makes it repetitive or isolated and self confined. And sadly enough often makes them less interested too.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisibleremake
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Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa Flag
Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26522081 - 03/07/20 11:25 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

If you wanna make friends be open and make people feel comfortable. Don't take your own judgements as facts, and let the other person be himself or herself.

Don't act as if you are trying to enter their personal life in some weird emotional way. Just my opinion. Some people like cult like friend groups though.

Also, don't just take from other people, let it be more a shared experience of give/take equally.


Edited by remake (03/07/20 11:32 AM)


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OfflineTripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26522162 - 03/07/20 12:33 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
WHO HAS TIPS FOR HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF WORK AS AN ADULT, FOR INTROVERTS




You could start by hitting that Caps Lock button again


Find activities that lets you mingle with other people, like doing yoga at a studio or something similar. Sport are great for these kind of things

I surf and have met a lot of people in the water, and quite a few are now friends


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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Invisibleazzbo

Registered: 07/14/15
Posts: 1,311
Loc: Flag
Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26522217 - 03/07/20 01:04 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I had to stop being a loner because it became really depressing after awhile. I find the best way to make new friends is to just walk up to a group of lads who are smoking weed and just be like "YOOOOO gimme somme of that bud man". Before you know it, you'll be at some random dudes house blazing weed and watching rick and morty.

Probably a good idea to have a good weed tolerence, otherwise you'll just be baked af whilst getting panic attacks around people you don't know, which is never good.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: azzbo]
    #26522221 - 03/07/20 01:09 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

azzbo said:
Probably a good idea to have a good weed tolerence, otherwise you'll just be baked af whilst getting panic attacks around people you don't know, which is never good.




Quote:

twighead said:



:uhoh:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineTaliesenW
Welder
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Registered: 01/27/20
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Amanita86]
    #26522227 - 03/07/20 01:14 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

i shoould allow them to be within my privacy and not break the rules to the voices


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Registered: 04/05/13
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: TaliesenW]
    #26522241 - 03/07/20 01:23 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

May we all please be friends : (

: )


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    :dazedandconfused:


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Registered: 07/29/15
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #26522242 - 03/07/20 01:24 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I think a big part of the problem is that I maybe am subconsciously attaching too much, or a different kind, of meaning to relationships with people. Like if youre close to somebody that means you have romantic feeings for them, so I dont wanna start hanging out a lot with a guy or opening up cuz I feel like he'll think Im bein gay or somethin lol. I think I just got so used to having relationships be where I got all my "real" connections, that I feel like making a connection with anyone has to also involve having 'feelings' for them. Idk I never thought about it but maybe that might be how Im approaching things without really noticing it.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Registered: 04/05/13
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan] * 2
    #26522245 - 03/07/20 01:27 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Things always work out better for me

When I stay out of my head

Life is way to short man

I'm trying to teach myself this

It's getting better with time.


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    :dazedandconfused:


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26522254 - 03/07/20 01:34 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

You always know the right thing to say, mon.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Registered: 04/05/13
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26522261 - 03/07/20 01:40 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I'm just some stupid dummy : (


:bliss:


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    :dazedandconfused:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan] * 2
    #26522299 - 03/07/20 02:14 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Dude, just don’t make it weird.  When you’re walking you aren’t analyzing every step and what if this or what if that you just walk.  Just hang out, if someone says no they say no, if you do something dumb try not to do it again or just say fuck it and do it anyways if it’s what you want to do.

Little 2 year olds know how to play, not because they’ve put massive amounts of analytical thought into it, they just do it, whatever ‘it’ is.  Just be safe, don’t end up in sketchy spots and you’ll be fine.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #26522643 - 03/07/20 06:29 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Well my dumbass goes out to get on the town and see about bein social and makin friends, keein in mind what we talked bout. But I still approached female I thought was cute lollll. She was reading book with a cool cover, it was persian poetry book lol. She was indian and from austrlia, actually had a good conversation and got her contact info but I obv had it in the back of my mind that I was attracted to her and was all 'oooo what if she likes me what if she gonna ask me out' and shit lolol. So im kinda still at square one with that aspect of it but I got out there, dawg.

Females just seem like theyre way more approachable. Guys always look like they got somewhere to be. And theyre ugly!


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OfflineMandarinfish

Registered: 01/27/15
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Re: HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26522656 - 03/07/20 06:37 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

.


Edited by Mandarinfish (07/23/20 04:18 PM)


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