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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
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feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away
#26519797 - 03/05/20 11:25 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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and I'm surprisingly cool with it. At one time I really loved this girl. But after some time apart, I'm not so sure any more. She's disrespectful to my time, she will make plans and when something comes up. She doesn't call to tell me. She does this to everyone in her life though. Fear of confrontation.
When she gets upset with me, she will ignore my calls and texts and never even attempt to talk about why she was even mad. Actually, she will lie to make it seem like she wasn't mad and make up some reason as to why she wasn't able to talk to me. To me, this seems like a childish way for a 41 year old woman to act.
Edited by lil_demented (03/05/20 11:44 PM)
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ichugwindex
Dex



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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26519803 - 03/05/20 11:33 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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You dont even live together? Looks like you might have just saved yourself some time in the long run.
-------------------- Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,030
Loc: USA
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26519824 - 03/06/20 12:13 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Is it possible when she withdraws it has nothing to do with you?
Maybe her inability to be honest has nothing to do with you? We take everything so personally . . .
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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26519831 - 03/06/20 12:22 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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I've been thinking about the honesty thing. And really, now that I know when she's full of shit. It doesn't really bother me like it used to. Also, this girl has a lot of great features (physically and personality) that i have sought after in a girl for years.
when we were doing meff, I couldn't get her to leave me alone. We talked on the phone sooo much and spent at least 2 nights a week together. (new relationship, busy lives) But now I'm clean. Her on the other hand, she says she's not doing it anymore. And she does actually sleep at night now. But now it's like we have nothing in common.
I don't think she's a dope whore, I think she has always related relationships and drugs together. Her brother, her ex boyfriend, ex husband, other ex husband. All of them had the same thing in common. They either did drugs with her or supplied her with them.
So you guys think I should just keep my complaints to myself and try to find something else for us to do together? Besides sex of course. Because I'm also not getting any of that now that we are clean. I've seen her once in the last 2 months.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented]
#26519841 - 03/06/20 12:40 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Is it possible her inability to be honest is a symptom of her suffering?
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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26519893 - 03/06/20 02:12 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Or maybe she has been abused by so many men that she is emotionally unavailable. Meth is the only thing that makes her feel safe. Even though meth ruined every relationship she has used it in.
And now that we are not using, she feels no connection to other people again. And is regressing back to her previous state from before I met her. Her mom told me she would lay in the bed for days and not answer the phone before we met.
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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26519895 - 03/06/20 02:19 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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When we were on meth. A small argument turned into her pushing every one of my buttons she could find. Then act all hurt when I'd get mad and say mean things.
No matter how mean a thing I would say to her. She kept coming back. i wanted her to leave, she had me so pissed off most of the time. Like the making plans thing and not showing up. I told her that bothered me.
And so she started doing it over and over and over again. Even though i'd tell her not to come over. she'd insist, then not show up. Then swear up and down that she forgot cause she was high. It was a fucking retard fest. Yet I couldn't tear myself away from her. Finally I got into rehab and got my head straight.
I've been a different person since. Still a lot of anxiety, but so much more kind and soft spoken. Like I was before I got on the shit.
Maybe she just likes assholes. I'm going to give that a shot.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26520210 - 03/06/20 08:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Head games, passive aggressiveness, co-dependence, and possibly more I can't think of for now. You're moving to another phase in your life. You have stated that you like her for her looks mostly. Move along and drop that person from your life. It sounds like it's the last thread of the past you're trying to leave behind. The fact you don't live together is a blessing in disguise. It also sounds like she will not stop doing the things you are complaining about. I stayed with someone who played major head games and such for 20 years on and off.
I finally stopped 5 years ago and haven't seen or talked to them in any way shape or form, and I met the person I always wanted to. I am also in a different head space and place in my life. Right when I got my shit together is when I met this person. I STILL have dreams about the ex, and it bothers me. It may happen to you too, but it seems like you need to completely move on from your former life.
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Grungeman17


Registered: 05/06/09
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Loc: usa
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26520328 - 03/06/20 09:57 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Honest to God thats an age group thing. Not saying all women at 41 are past their prime...but she's likely dealing with that, you need to take some red pill advice and live your life to fullest, you should be bangin 20 somethings and fascinating them with your knowledge of psychadelics and intellectual properties that come along with it. Don't be bound up by some betty, you need to red pill up, hit some fests or events. Go see a show and stay at a hotel out of town. Meet somebody, meet multiple people. Change the entire way you veiw relationships and dating.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: Grungeman17]
#26520335 - 03/06/20 10:00 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Me?
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Grungeman17


Registered: 05/06/09
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26520481 - 03/06/20 11:46 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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@ OP
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: Grungeman17]
#26520486 - 03/06/20 11:50 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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I agree and sort of gave the same advice.
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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26523615 - 03/08/20 09:16 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah. Definitely head games. And my stupid ass just keeps playing right into them. Thanks for the advice. honestly, it's really the same conclusion I came up with before I came back to check my thread.
When I met this girl, I wondered how a girl like that was single. She seemed like she had her shit together. But the more I get to know her I see that she is more of a child than I am. when she gets upset with someone, she just ignores them until said problem goes away. She doesn't see how disrespectful that is to someone who cares about you. That's basically using the fact that they love you against them. It hurts my feelings.
When I met her, I was adamant about not hooking up with her because of all the red flags. But she was persistent about hooking up with me. Made herself out to be the perfect woman. But as i got to know her, everything she told me about how she conducts herself in a relationship was bullshit.
She's undependable, selfish, dis-honest, manipulative, self absorbed, emotional. she only talks to me when my life is going well, as soon as I have a personal issue i'm dealing with that's when she is no where to be found.
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26523879 - 03/08/20 12:34 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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You have seen her once in the last two months?
That doesnt even constitute being together in a relationship
Delete phonenumber, move on
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: lil_demented] 1
#26525144 - 03/09/20 08:24 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Delete phone number, and move on.
Agree 100%. PLUS, spring is near, and the people will be out and about. Get out there and have some fun, meet new people, and listen to your gut next time, it knows! Also remember, no matter how fine a girl/man/woman/other is, somewhere someone is tired of their shit!
When I met her, I was adamant about not hooking up with her because of all the red flags. But she was persistent about hooking up with me. Made herself out to be the perfect woman. But as i got to know her, everything she told me about how she conducts herself in a relationship was bullshit.
She's undependable, selfish, dis-honest, manipulative, self absorbed, emotional. she only talks to me when my life is going well, as soon as I have a personal issue i'm dealing with that's when she is no where to be found.
You must have wanted that pussy really really really bad, RED FLAG! You knew not to, but did it anyway. I have too friend, learn and grow, and move along.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: tyrannicalrex] 1
#26525418 - 03/09/20 12:19 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Or....just find a good girl. Cos a good girl beats a bad bitch by a landslide
-------------------- Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: spirit_shadow]
#26525569 - 03/09/20 02:14 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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There's no comparison, lol.
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feldman114
Stragler


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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26525583 - 03/09/20 02:21 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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I had to poast this after that comment, but I agree with spirit 100%.

P.S. For the record, this is the second worst piece of dialogue in the entire show, even including season 8.
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: feldman114]
#26525711 - 03/09/20 03:44 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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You know nothing, easily top 10 dialogue for sure
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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Sandala
Noob Shroomer

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Re: feels like the ol' lady is pushing me away [Re: Tripsurfer]
#26526214 - 03/09/20 09:30 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Never stick your dick in crazy. (specially narcisstic crazy)
Block, move on, enjoy life.
-------------------- My Noob Journal
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