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Anonymous #1
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Picking a girl up advice
#26517833 - 03/05/20 01:55 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Shameful to admit. I'm nearly 30. I've asked a girl out only one time when I was in highschool. I flirt and do nice things and hang around the girl im interested in.... but i repeatedly get friendzoned.
All my relationships have come from online apps. I have been in many. I am a very confident individual in all aspects of life but I come up with excuses to not ask a girl out.
At the moment im about to go to a small party. This girl I work with will be there. Ive talked with her a few times alone with no flirting yet. But plan on asking her out.
This other girl who friendzoned me worked with the girl im interested in today.... and CLEARLY set me up for a layup since they both messaged me an invite around the same time.
This couldnt be more fucking easy. What words do I say?
We are all going to be hanging out lightly drinking for a few hours. How do I turn it from we are friends to a date without sounding creepy and ruining our working relationship?
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Anonymous #2
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First of all quit chasing girls. Girls are aplenty when you are doing great things with Yourself.
Do what makes you excited to the fullest and they will come.
Be a simple dude who's passionate about the things you do no matter what is.
It's your drive, ambition, confidence that they sense and will make them attracted to you.
Never chase women, friend; Attract.
Also, don't take life so seriously. Have a humble sense of humor, give Life to groups of people that you meet, guys or girls.
TL:DR
Be a fun simple dude who's passionate about their goals with no expectations from other people.
You'll see girls (and friends) will naturally gravitate towards you.
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Anonymous #3
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Flirty comments are always a good choice. For example "Wow, you look gorgeous today" or "That dress looks wonderful on you".
Smiling at them in a sexy way is a good idea when appropiate. The trick is to pick up on their subtle cues. Most (almost all) women will give you subtle hints that they are sexually interested in you. Its hardly ever direct or obvious. But if you are good at spotting the signs you will see them.
Have you flirted with a woman before? Have you watched a romantic comedy before? I feel like romantic comedies gove a pretty good indication of how flirting should be done: Playful, fun, sexy, and somewhat subtle/indirect.
Making a intimate move can be awkward, but if the woman wants the advance too, its much easier.
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Anonymous #4
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Easy, just grab her by the pussy.
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Anonymous #3
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Only rich, powerful, perverted bastards like Trump can do that.
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Anonymous #5
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And even so no one should get away with it. ANyHOW, just be yourself, respect an explicit or implicit "no", and remember to be at least 2 drinks ahead of anyone you're interested in.
Best of luck!
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Anonymous #6
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Get a sticker shaped like a heart, save it till you find the chic u wanna do put the sticker on yourself go up to the girl and say " ya know id just like to let you know that I've had hearton for you since I first saw you" (then point to the sticker)if she reacts negatively then just laugh as if the jokes on her, if she smiles, blushes, or seems embarressed then smile at her, and talk about something (non sexual)
Edited by Anonymous (03/05/20 06:09 PM)
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Smiling at them in a sexy way is a good idea when appropiate.
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Anonymous #8
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You ask them out after you have her over to your house for adult sleepovers a few times
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Anonymous #9
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Holy crap I haven't been in SA for ages and this place has really turned to shit. Is this place even being modded any more?
@OP Anon #2 gave you some incredible advice, but you've got to find a passion. Get passionate about something anything. Get down right nerdy with that shit whatever it is and go to events about it.
Anon #3 gave some thoughtful tips but in my opinion i don't think all of them were winners. The smiling one definitely was. I can personally relate to this because this is something i constantly need to keep in check too.
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Flirty comments are always a good choice. For example "Wow, you look gorgeous today" or "That dress looks wonderful on you".
Theses are good because they complement a person on something that they've done and acknowledged someone's effort, thought and style. An alternative 'complement' would be, "wow you have beautiful eyes."
No one chooses their natural eye colour. That complement is basically paying compliance to their genes, and no one on the receiving end gives a shit about it.
Anon #3's complements could do with a little work though.
The problem with complements is that when you pay a person a complement they usually have a return retaliation, eg: "Thank you, you're looking good too, have you been working out?" "Oh thanks but it's just some old thing, not like you; you look incredible.
When a return complement is given it's completely normal. It's actually a defensive mechanism because to accept a person's complement is to accept one's worth. If a person can boost another person's perception of their own self worth then they are automatically given a portion of power because they can also take that sense of worth away. When a person gives a return complement they enter the defensive mind frame and if you want to become more than acquaintances or friends it's unlikely to happen. It's a little sad to be honest but people are sensitive creatures so don't hold it against us, lol.
Here's a little twist on what Anon #3's suggestions. Throw in a follow up question so that defensive mechanism doesn't have a chance to kick in.
"Wow, you look gorgeous today, is that necklace rose gold?"
"That dress looks wonderful on you, it pairs with your earings perfectly, are they imported?"
Bring in the confidence man. If you cant deliver any of this confidently it will flop. Nothing wrong with that with either. What you need to do is work out how to feel confident around women, what things to talk about ect. To be clear these subjects and things aren't exclusive to women, you'll feel incredible talking about these things to anyone. You need to channel that energy and deliver it when you're talking to women. No joke what ever it is no matter how geeky, stupid or gay it may be, deliver it to confidence to the next woman you're interest in. She'll probably be like 'no' and you'll fail but that's fine man. Just do it so that you can learn to channel that energy. Channel the energy and learn to transfer it to other subjects.
Good luck.
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Anonymous #10
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: First of all quit chasing girls. Girls are aplenty when you are doing great things with Yourself.
Do what makes you excited to the fullest and they will come.
Be a simple dude who's passionate about the things you do no matter what is.
It's your drive, ambition, confidence that they sense and will make them attracted to you.
Never chase women, friend; Attract.
Also, don't take life so seriously. Have a humble sense of humor, give Life to groups of people that you meet, guys or girls.
TL:DR
Be a fun simple dude who's passionate about their goals with no expectations from other people.
You'll see girls (and friends) will naturally gravitate towards you.
Just chase guys?
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Only rich, powerful, perverted bastards like Trump can do that.
Well of course
Quote:
Anonymous #8 said: You ask them out after you have her over to your house for adult sleepovers a few times
This always worked wonders when I was 7 years old. Should work just fine at 37 as well right?
Quote:
Anonymous #9 said: Holy crap I haven't been in SA for ages and this place has really turned to shit. Is this place even being modded any more?
@OP Anon #2 gave you some incredible advice, but you've got to find a passion. Get passionate about something anything. Get down right nerdy with that shit whatever it is and go to events about it.
Anon #3 gave some thoughtful tips but in my opinion i don't think all of them were winners. The smiling one definitely was. I can personally relate to this because this is something i constantly need to keep in check too.
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Flirty comments are always a good choice. For example "Wow, you look gorgeous today" or "That dress looks wonderful on you".
Theses are good because they complement a person on something that they've done and acknowledged someone's effort, thought and style. An alternative 'complement' would be, "wow you have beautiful eyes."
No one chooses their natural eye colour. That complement is basically paying compliance to their genes, and no one on the receiving end gives a shit about it.
Anon #3's complements could do with a little work though.
The problem with complements is that when you pay a person a complement they usually have a return retaliation, eg: "Thank you, you're looking good too, have you been working out?" "Oh thanks but it's just some old thing, not like you; you look incredible.
When a return complement is given it's completely normal. It's actually a defensive mechanism because to accept a person's complement is to accept one's worth. If a person can boost another person's perception of their own self worth then they are automatically given a portion of power because they can also take that sense of worth away. When a person gives a return complement they enter the defensive mind frame and if you want to become more than acquaintances or friends it's unlikely to happen. It's a little sad to be honest but people are sensitive creatures so don't hold it against us, lol.
Here's a little twist on what Anon #3's suggestions. Throw in a follow up question so that defensive mechanism doesn't have a chance to kick in.
"Wow, you look gorgeous today, is that necklace rose gold?"
"That dress looks wonderful on you, it pairs with your earings perfectly, are they imported?"
Bring in the confidence man. If you cant deliver any of this confidently it will flop. Nothing wrong with that with either. What you need to do is work out how to feel confident around women, what things to talk about ect. To be clear these subjects and things aren't exclusive to women, you'll feel incredible talking about these things to anyone. You need to channel that energy and deliver it when you're talking to women. No joke what ever it is no matter how geeky, stupid or gay it may be, deliver it to confidence to the next woman you're interest in. She'll probably be like 'no' and you'll fail but that's fine man. Just do it so that you can learn to channel that energy. Channel the energy and learn to transfer it to other subjects.
Good luck.
it is hard for anyone to be as special as you make it seem is just easily possible in such a casual manner.
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous #10 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: First of all quit chasing girls. Girls are aplenty when you are doing great things with Yourself.
Do what makes you excited to the fullest and they will come.
Be a simple dude who's passionate about the things you do no matter what is.
It's your drive, ambition, confidence that they sense and will make them attracted to you.
Never chase women, friend; Attract.
Also, don't take life so seriously. Have a humble sense of humor, give Life to groups of people that you meet, guys or girls.
TL:DR
Be a fun simple dude who's passionate about their goals with no expectations from other people.
You'll see girls (and friends) will naturally gravitate towards you.
Just chase guys?
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Only rich, powerful, perverted bastards like Trump can do that.
Well of course
Quote:
Anonymous #8 said: You ask them out after you have her over to your house for adult sleepovers a few times
This always worked wonders when I was 7 years old. Should work just fine at 37 as well right?
Quote:
Anonymous #9 said: Holy crap I haven't been in SA for ages and this place has really turned to shit. Is this place even being modded any more?
@OP Anon #2 gave you some incredible advice, but you've got to find a passion. Get passionate about something anything. Get down right nerdy with that shit whatever it is and go to events about it.
Anon #3 gave some thoughtful tips but in my opinion i don't think all of them were winners. The smiling one definitely was. I can personally relate to this because this is something i constantly need to keep in check too.
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: Flirty comments are always a good choice. For example "Wow, you look gorgeous today" or "That dress looks wonderful on you".
Theses are good because they complement a person on something that they've done and acknowledged someone's effort, thought and style. An alternative 'complement' would be, "wow you have beautiful eyes."
No one chooses their natural eye colour. That complement is basically paying compliance to their genes, and no one on the receiving end gives a shit about it.
Anon #3's complements could do with a little work though.
The problem with complements is that when you pay a person a complement they usually have a return retaliation, eg: "Thank you, you're looking good too, have you been working out?" "Oh thanks but it's just some old thing, not like you; you look incredible.
When a return complement is given it's completely normal. It's actually a defensive mechanism because to accept a person's complement is to accept one's worth. If a person can boost another person's perception of their own self worth then they are automatically given a portion of power because they can also take that sense of worth away. When a person gives a return complement they enter the defensive mind frame and if you want to become more than acquaintances or friends it's unlikely to happen. It's a little sad to be honest but people are sensitive creatures so don't hold it against us, lol.
Here's a little twist on what Anon #3's suggestions. Throw in a follow up question so that defensive mechanism doesn't have a chance to kick in.
"Wow, you look gorgeous today, is that necklace rose gold?"
"That dress looks wonderful on you, it pairs with your earings perfectly, are they imported?"
Bring in the confidence man. If you cant deliver any of this confidently it will flop. Nothing wrong with that with either. What you need to do is work out how to feel confident around women, what things to talk about ect. To be clear these subjects and things aren't exclusive to women, you'll feel incredible talking about these things to anyone. You need to channel that energy and deliver it when you're talking to women. No joke what ever it is no matter how geeky, stupid or gay it may be, deliver it to confidence to the next woman you're interest in. She'll probably be like 'no' and you'll fail but that's fine man. Just do it so that you can learn to channel that energy. Channel the energy and learn to transfer it to other subjects.
Good luck.
it is hard for anyone to be as special as you make it seem is just easily possible in such a casual manner.
Yup, you got it. Just chase guys. That’s what he was saying. You keep missing on this team, maybe it’s time to try playing for the other side.
Ever try shrooms? I heard they make ya gay
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Anonymous #10
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How many have you eaten?
I don't know if I would consider switching to the other side of the sexual rainbow "playing for the other team." You mean like the homosexual community is a team? I don't know about that football game shit.
But if you heard shrooms make you gay perhaps you should not be on this site. Otherwise it might as well be called "the gayery."
But you tell me which is the best team to be on and how to stay on such a team and I will take your advice to heart.
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Anonymous #1
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Update:
We are going on a few day road trip. I still haven't asked her out. I'm not sure if she thinks of us as just friends. I don't know if I should ask her out before, during , or after the road trip. I don't wanna make things awkward if she says no... But at the same time I don't wanna lose my opportunity.
It's so hard to tell if she's just really nice .... Or if she's interested. She seems to be nice to everyone else too.
I'd never admit this shit in real life. I'd be so ashamed of my cowardice. I find an excuse everytime. And then regret it the rest of the day of course.
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Anonymous #4
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Don’t try so hard. You can’t control the outcomes.
Be polite. Everyone loves that shit.
Be yourself. Who else would you be? Ain’t no motherfucker perfect, let people think what they want about you. That bitch probably doesn’t deserve you anyway. Jk
Hope your trip goes well. Ask her if she “would like to go out for dinner sometime” about half way thru... long enough into the day trip to get comfortable... but not that comfortable. Then, spring it on her; “I really like spending time with you, and was wondering if you would go out to dinner with me sometime?”
If you wait until then end you will feel rushed to get it out. If you try to ask to early, nerves. But, if you practice that line 30 times in out loud in the mirror.... then, wait for a sweet spot in the middle and then be BOLD. Say it straight and then wait for an answer....... it might seem like forever, so just say nothing more until she answers.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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I went for it. It failed on me but I feel good. I've finally done it.
She basically said she's been single for a few years and isn't dating. Which sounds like an easy way of letting me down.
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Anonymous #11
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and like who wants to start making out with someone new with the corona virus going around anyway??? WTF?
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Anonymous #12
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Don't mess around with women you work with. There's absolutely no reason to do it. It usually only ends up bad trust me.
The best way to ask out a girl is to talk about something interesting you're about to do in a week or 2. The woman will respond with a "that sounds like a ton of fun". Then you should respond with a "You can come if you want".
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Anonymous #13
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Quote:
Anonymous #12 said: Don't mess around with women you work with. There's absolutely no reason to do it. It usually only ends up bad trust me.
The best way to ask out a girl is to talk about something interesting you're about to do in a week or 2. The woman will respond with a "that sounds like a ton of fun". Then you should respond with a "You can come if you want".
This is really good advice! I 2nd the first part stay away from women you work with it will end BAD!
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Anonymous #14
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try to stay confident. do some research, i recommend looking into PUA community but dont get too deep lol. theres some good info that can be used there
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