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Onlinesaintdextro
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Jealousy, is it love or hate?
    #26504530 - 02/26/20 08:52 AM (5 months, 3 days ago)

So my neighbor (he has a crush on her and she's not interested,) made a scene, cussing out out my other neighbor, calling her a "whore" and what not Because she was caught going to the store to with the maintenence man from my apartments to get food, but what is Jealousy? is it not hate? Certainly if I'm dating a girl and I'm going to be with her i'm gonna have confidence in her, otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship? i'm single now and I don't want to go through any of that jealousy shit, not her jealous over me or vice versa, i'm hoping some of you people who've been in a relationship can tell what this emotion is, surely jealousy is of the mind and not of the heart, it is hate, and is not love.


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


Edited by saintdextro (02/26/20 08:54 AM)


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: saintdextro] * 1
    #26504605 - 02/26/20 10:08 AM (5 months, 3 days ago)

IF* we treat each other as if we are free to come and go as we choose then jealousy is selfishness.

IF we desire a contract for the purpose of relationships and raising children and we get angry and seek due compliance when someone breaks the contract then that anger is a selfishness.

I'm in the habit of writing little poems composed of 8 lines of 8 syllables ending in 8 randomly chosen words and the latest one contained the idea of being mindful of the moments that could turn around and bite us:

Peaches and cream, examining
Being in the moment of when
Thankful for the life determined
And mindful of the moments by
The glass only 1/2 full ending
And the subsequent lives borne in
A nefarious production
Ending in this infernal loop


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: saintdextro] * 2
    #26504728 - 02/26/20 11:42 AM (5 months, 3 days ago)

I agree with Buster that jealousy is selfishness. It is being concerned with my needs, above everyone else's. But as to whether it's love or hate...I would say it's more fear than anything else. Fear of not having something, fear of loss. It might express itself as hate, but underneath it's fear, like most things, which stems from the mistaken belief that I am in a state of lack and need something outside of myself in order to be happy. It's about needing to receive.

Love, true love, on the other hand is selfless. It can never be jealous, because love is a state of pure giving. It has no need of receiving anything from anyone, and is happy just to endlessly give, without thought or need of what it gets in return.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir 

For daily spiritual quotes, follow me on Facebook here


Edited by PocketLady (02/26/20 11:50 AM)


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady] * 2
    #26504735 - 02/26/20 11:46 AM (5 months, 3 days ago)

jea, lousy


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady] * 1
    #26504932 - 02/26/20 02:05 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

I can't seem to wrap my mind around the concept that jealousy is fear. Jealousy is anger. For example I think we would expect a jealous God to display anger.

Argumentatively we could say that the selfishness of the majority is unselfish because it seeks to protect minorities and the ecosystem, but in the final analysis I think every action of an ego based organism can be traced to selfishness.


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #26505155 - 02/26/20 04:33 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Sure, if I am jealous, I might display anger, but I'm not sure that is the root cause. I think the key is in looking at what exactly the anger is trying to express. Why am I angry? If there's a reason why I am angry, then anger is not the root cause, but just an expression. In this situation, I am angry because I am afraid I might lose my partner to another person. The ego feels threatened, and that is fear. If I was totally confident that my partner and I had a secure relationship, that they would never ever leave me or hurt me in any way, would I still feel the same level of jealousy when they spent time with someone of the opposite sex?

I agree that the root of ego is based in selfishness. Fear itself stems from the fact that we do not feel complete as we are. We constantly feel like we are lacking something, and that sense of lack means we need to go out and seek things in the world to try and fill that hole. Fear of this scarcity causes the awareness to turn and look at 'me' and 'my' needs, the essence of selfishness, because 'I' am scared of the lack I feel when 'I' lose/don't get something I want/need. The ego has a deep need to control external events, basically because of fear and this sense of lack, and often that expresses itself as anger when things do not go our way. Whether fear is totally conscious or not is another matter.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir 

For daily spiritual quotes, follow me on Facebook here


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OfflineMycoBrainz
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady]
    #26505167 - 02/26/20 04:35 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Its childish, she'd probably fuck em both if they were cool.


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady]
    #26505260 - 02/26/20 05:40 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

They all run together the more I think about it, fear-pride-jealousy-selfishness-anger. Maybe they all constitute 'hate' because they exclude, and maybe 'love' has to be big enough to include instances of hate.


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: Buster_Brown] * 1
    #26505288 - 02/26/20 05:53 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

I'm sure if Icelander were still around he would tell us all it's death anxiety :lol: But it does seem like all of those things are basically the [apparent] absence of love. I think you are right about the selfishness thing. It's having the lens focussed towards me and my needs. I've noticed that when I am focussed outwards toward love and giving to others instead, fear/anger/pride/jealousy and all of these things just simply cannot exist at all in that place.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir 

For daily spiritual quotes, follow me on Facebook here


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady]
    #26505337 - 02/26/20 06:20 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Quote:

PocketLady said:
..when I am focussed outwards toward love and giving to others instead, fear/anger/pride/jealousy and all of these things just simply cannot exist at all in that place.




How do you feel about interfering with destiny, with another's life's plan? For example Angel #64 lists the defying or countering of destiny as a distortion.
The act of caring for another's welfare could incur karmic debt.
It's one thing to talk about it but taking up arms against a sea of troubles may be unproductive in the quest for solace (I blocked so many numbers on my phone in the past weeks)


Edited by Buster_Brown (02/26/20 06:25 PM)


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Onlinesaintdextro
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady]
    #26505340 - 02/26/20 06:23 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

So is Jealousy wrong on all occasions? it was mentionend of the biblical description of a "jealous God", could this come out of a sense of wisdom and not from a sense of fear? or what if your partner is missing with someone else, is the only way to go without jealousy to not care? I like the idea of an exclusiveness relationship, but I don't like jealousy, I want to avoid that.


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #26505357 - 02/26/20 06:40 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Quote:

Buster_Brown said:
How do you feel about interfering with destiny, with another's life's plan? For example Angel #64 lists the defying or countering of destiny as a distortion.
The act of caring for another's welfare could incur karmic debt.
It's one thing to talk about it but taking up arms against a sea of troubles may be unproductive in the quest for solace (I blocked so many numbers on my phone in the past weeks)




The way I see it is that it's not about taking any outward action towards others necessarily, although I think there are a few actions which can probably be taken without too much fear of terrible karmic repercussions. Mainly it's about the intention I have towards them, and what is in my heart. I can have concern and a wish for well-being for another person without getting involved or interfering in their life. I can care about someone, and love them without ever even speaking to them. Staying in that space of outward compassion prevents the ego from putting the focus on itself in my experience, and makes for a much more joyful life. There is simply no room for my own problems in that space.


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: saintdextro] * 1
    #26505525 - 02/26/20 08:49 PM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Quote:

saintdextro said:
So is Jealousy wrong on all occasions? it was mentionend of the biblical description of a "jealous God", could this come out of a sense of wisdom and not from a sense of fear? or what if your partner is missing with someone else, is the only way to go without jealousy to not care? I like the idea of an exclusiveness relationship, but I don't like jealousy, I want to avoid that.




Personally I don't think there's any such thing as wrong or right. There's only things that will bring you closer to God, and things which move you further away imho. Service to self or service to others. I think generally our idea of love is very skewed by ego. The ego makes love possessive, and about what I receive from the other person. But unconditional love is about what I give the other person. So, if the ego weren't involved, and my partner ran off with someone else, unconditional love would say, 'Go do whatever you have to in order to be happy. I want you to be happy and if that's without me and with someone else instead, then so be it.'

It's not about not caring, it's that I care about the other person's happiness, instead of being solely focused on my own happiness. But of course, generally we can't come at it from that perspective, and we end up hurt and angry and devastated when the other person runs off with someone else, because the ego believes it needs that other person to be happy, that they fulfill them in some way. It's hard though, because unless you are an Enlightened master, at this point we all still have an ego that controls us to some extent. So, I think it's more about the aspiration to try and be selfless, to try and focus on making other people's happiness important, rather than expecting to be that kind of selfless right now, at least that's where I am putting my focus. Perhaps at some point, there's a space where I am totally inwardly fulfilled and it's just easy for me to put other people first, because I just don't need anything anymore :sun:


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir 

For daily spiritual quotes, follow me on Facebook here


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady] * 1
    #26505774 - 02/27/20 01:17 AM (5 months, 3 days ago)

Allowing for a 'Higher Authority', be it a machination of reason and logic or an appointed guardian, and that tastes can vary between individuals, it can be argued that sacrificing one's own future to protect a microcosm of perceived well-being is excusable.

By that reasoning we might expect the forces that police the world by various means of coercion to be pardoned of their karmic consequence.

Be that as it may. Personally I think that if somebody wishes to come and go as they choose then they have to return the favor and be mindful of the actions they use to control reality...Granted we all need forgiveness for our peccadillos.


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #26506820 - 02/27/20 04:28 PM (5 months, 2 days ago)

Forgive my thickheadedness, but can you say this another way? I'm not sure I completely understand what you are getting at.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir 

For daily spiritual quotes, follow me on Facebook here


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: PocketLady] * 2
    #26507040 - 02/27/20 06:38 PM (5 months, 2 days ago)

It's taken for granted, I think, that laying down one's life so that others may live is a virtual garuntee of sanctification.

"John 15:13 KJV:
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

And perhaps that holds true in some gated communities.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: saintdextro] * 1
    #26507483 - 02/28/20 12:27 AM (5 months, 2 days ago)



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlinemr. whothehell
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #26507498 - 02/28/20 12:40 AM (5 months, 2 days ago)

it's selfishness


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: mr. whothehell] * 1
    #26511779 - 03/01/20 05:53 PM (4 months, 30 days ago)

Quote:

mr. whothehell said:
it's selfishness




What...is selfishness?


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Jealousy, is it love or hate? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #26511878 - 03/01/20 07:25 PM (4 months, 30 days ago)

LOL



"Judge not lest you be judged"

By what evidence do we judge the author in the image to be unselfish?


Edited by Buster_Brown (03/01/20 07:46 PM)


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