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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: feldman114]
    #26503286 - 02/25/20 02:21 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

You may be right. I’ve heard that said plenty of times and while it is hard to prove it definitively it seems to be a real thing


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26503340 - 02/25/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Well, I was driving home one night after leaving a bar, sick of everyone in it, sick of dating, sick of all of the shit! I said out loud, I give up! Where is my prince charming? Where is my soul mate? I guess I'll just be one of those lonely old queens who has tricks over whenever I want sex, and just live alone in some apartment somewhere, fuck it!


About 2-3 months later I met the man I married within a year of meeting him. We moved in just 3 months after meeting.:shrug: I had sworn off marriage like the plague. I was the one who would NEVER get married no matter what, and now,I'm the happiest I have ever been in my whole life to this date. I could die tonight and will have known the happiest I've ever been.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26503348 - 02/25/20 02:57 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Are you near Saint Petersburg? Go to Key West sometime. Go to City Side bar there in Tampa.(if it's still open) I lived in St Pete for a couple of years back in 2005-06. Go to the Dali museum. Hit the pride parade, go to the Saturday night thing there by the docks. Fort Lauderdale is awesome.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26503388 - 02/25/20 03:16 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Most of your advice doesn’t apply because I’m not really a party person. Pride just made me feel worse and showed how different I am from everyone else. I’m not the typical gay outcast who doesn’t fit in the straight world but flowers in the gay one. I fit into neither.

I haven’t truly given up, not in earnest because I still hope for the storybook ending. Like I pretend to give up to have the story play out. But I’m tired of holding onto hope of something better or Mr. Right. It’s painful and I can’t help but think that the right person comes along when you aren’t looking is a story that persists because of those whom it worked for and leaves out those for whom it didn’t.


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Offlinefeldman114
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26503408 - 02/25/20 03:25 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

That’s your depression talking. And, like I said, it’s understandable.

But you gotta snap yourself out of it at some point. That type of thinking never leads to healthy lifestyles. I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.

Just make a fist and power through the first couple of days and it’ll get easier. You’ll be thanking yourself in no time.
Imo you should focus on self-improvement to get your mind off your love life. Get a hobby, start working out, read some classics, apply to some out-of-your-league jobs, etc. while you’re doing that, that elusive person may just present themselves.
They’re sure as shit more likely to approach you if you’re out there, improving yourself, than if you’re constantly wallowing in depression.


This very tough process can be replaced with one mushroom trip btw. Not guaranteed to work, sure, but likely. #Jussayin


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: feldman114]
    #26503413 - 02/25/20 03:30 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

And I keep saying I know people from who such things did nothing at all so...


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: On being gay [Re: feldman114]
    #26503515 - 02/25/20 04:28 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

feldman114 said:

I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.




Really?  "Faking it" is the only path to finding happiness? Who came up with this nutty idea?! 12-step insanity is spreading like a virus.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26503597 - 02/25/20 05:10 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

feldman114 said:

I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.




Really?  "Faking it" is the only path to finding happiness? Who came up with this nutty idea?! 12-step insanity is spreading like a virus.




I can assure people that faking it until you make it just makes you feel like a fraud


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Offlinefeldman114
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Re: On being gay [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26503665 - 02/25/20 05:32 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

feldman114 said:

I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.




Really?  "Faking it" is the only path to finding happiness? Who came up with this nutty idea?! 12-step insanity is spreading like a virus.




Well, of course I don’t mean that...
I meant it’s the only shortcut from broken-hearted depression to finding happiness. You took that out of context figuratively and literally lol

“Key” and “path” are not synonymous here mang

And this “nutty idea” has been a picker-upper forever. It's usually referring to confidence, but it applies here as well imo.


Edited by feldman114 (02/25/20 05:36 PM)


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Offlinefeldman114
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26503680 - 02/25/20 05:40 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

feldman114 said:

I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.




Really?  "Faking it" is the only path to finding happiness? Who came up with this nutty idea?! 12-step insanity is spreading like a virus.




I can assure people that faking it until you make it just makes you feel like a fraud




Once again, how would you know anything about something you haven’t ever tried? “Fake it till you make it” is literally the title of like a dozen motivational self-help books - some are bestsellers - but you KNOW it doesn’t work...


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Offlinefeldman114
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Re: On being gay [Re: feldman114]
    #26503689 - 02/25/20 05:43 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/why-fake-it-till-you-make-it-is-so-effective-according-to-science.html


Quote:

Why 'Fake It Till You Make It' Is So Effective, According to Science

Research helps explain why, when it comes to work, "sincerity" beats "authenticity."




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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: feldman114]
    #26503748 - 02/25/20 06:09 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

feldman114 said:
Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

feldman114 said:

I know it’s hard, but the only real key to happiness is “fake it till you make it”.




Really?  "Faking it" is the only path to finding happiness? Who came up with this nutty idea?! 12-step insanity is spreading like a virus.




I can assure people that faking it until you make it just makes you feel like a fraud




Once again, how would you know anything about something you haven’t ever tried? “Fake it till you make it” is literally the title of like a dozen motivational self-help books - some are bestsellers - but you KNOW it doesn’t work...




You realize those self help books don’t actually work, they just make it. Also your link only works for career advice in social situations.

It’s the same reason affirmations don’t work, all they do is make you feel like a fraud. I tried to fake it several times and each time just left me worse off than before


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OfflineBabylon
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Registered: 05/15/11
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26505549 - 02/26/20 09:14 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

From the sound of it you are either doing sex wrong or you are both gay and asexual.  If you aren't familiar with the term look it up, you might find you have much more luck finding folks to be with if you look for other asexuals.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: Babylon]
    #26505586 - 02/26/20 09:50 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Babylon said:
From the sound of it you are either doing sex wrong or you are both gay and asexual.  If you aren't familiar with the term look it up, you might find you have much more luck finding folks to be with if you look for other asexuals.




It's not really asexuality, but I guess sometimes things just end up like that.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26506021 - 02/27/20 07:25 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Most of your advice doesn’t apply because I’m not really a party person. Pride just made me feel worse and showed how different I am from everyone else. I’m not the typical gay outcast who doesn’t fit in the straight world but flowers in the gay one. I fit into neither.

I haven’t truly given up, not in earnest because I still hope for the storybook ending. Like I pretend to give up to have the story play out. But I’m tired of holding onto hope of something better or Mr. Right. It’s painful and I can’t help but think that the right person comes along when you aren’t looking is a story that persists because of those whom it worked for and leaves out those for whom it didn’t.




I was/am the same way in life. I feel like a weirdo, and people will occasionally tell me so. Complete strangers who I never met before will say so. Mostly when I was waiting tables and would come in and just be singing and pumping up for the shift. I have had people say to my face "you are so weird!" I learned to embrace the weirdness and use it to my advantage, lol. Seeking the white picket fence and Mr. right and all that will only make it more elusive. When you are ready the universe sends it to you. :heart: Sounds like a bunch of malarkey, but it happened to me.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26506408 - 02/27/20 12:17 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Well, I suppose stranger things have happened


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26506467 - 02/27/20 01:01 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I am  guessing you're fairly young, I'mm 55 so I have a bit of experience with both men and women. I'm not bragging, nor do I claim to be highly intelligent or a "mensa" guy. I do feel like I can give some good advice at times though. Don't worry so much, get out and live, go places, do things, make mistakes, make advances, live!


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: On being gay [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26506533 - 02/27/20 01:40 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

It’s hard to have that level of trust in existence


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Offlinefeldman114
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26506539 - 02/27/20 01:45 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Who told you life would be easy?


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: On being gay [Re: Thanatos10]
    #26506573 - 02/27/20 02:01 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
It’s hard to have that level of trust in existence



This statement right here is what you need to examine and really think about. I was molested, poor, from a single parent household (3 step dads), and a few other things, but I still trust people because I refuse to be a bitter un-trusting scared person. I do not just blindly trust anyone, but there are people out there, good people, they're just not as easy to see/find. I am a bit cynical, jaded ,and leery, but it does not run my life, I have had to learn to use those negative things/traits/learned behaviors to my advantage.:heart:


You stating what you did shows that you are a thinking loving human being and crave what you want to reject. You may feel rejecting what hurts you puts you on a "higher plane", but it may be hurting you. You're obviously of a certain intelligence, it shows in your posts.


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