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Offlinetommygdawg
Stranger
Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 11
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Psychosis and OCD
    #26498294 - 02/22/20 10:48 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey all,

Big OCD ruminator here. I've been on Zoloft for 4 years, and it really helped. I recently tried going off and have had HUGE reoccurence of my OCD symptoms (and possibly tonnes of withdrawal) that I had largely gotten past. I'm going back on the Zo, at least for a while, but the thing my OCD can't stop ruminating on is my one experience with mushroom-induced psychosis a number of months ago. My OCD has always made me fear I will lose my mind, and this is the most current shape it's taking. I can't smoke weed right now because the feeling of being high is exciting my anxiety around this topic, but before quitting the Zo weed helped my anxiety tremendously.

I guess I just wanted to know your all thoughts on psychosis, OCD, etc. I'm so scared that one day I'll just pop into psychosis mode and never leave. I should note that as far as I'm aware there's no history of schizophrenia in my family, and this does *feel* like OCD fear. But I still can't shake it.

Any words of wisdom you all have would be greatly appreciated <3


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26499041 - 02/22/20 08:28 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

exercise routine is good
swimming works
letting the waves of the world roll over you is good
what relieves you from OCD?

any other interests?


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
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Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
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Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26499356 - 02/23/20 02:38 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I have seen discussion of psilocybin studies to treat OCD, but have no idea how far completeb the studies are or what’ve results have been. My 15 year old daughter suffers OCD and anxiety, so i’ve been considering starting to look into this, though given the current lack of information, I’ll be waiting until she’s 18 and can make up her own mind on treatment plans.

One think though is for sure, you will not trip with Zoloft (sertraline) in your system, as SSRIs block the same receptors used by psilocin.

Good luck, and do your research.
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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InvisibleShr00mEater
Strange
Male
Registered: 10/17/18
Posts: 985
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26499465 - 02/23/20 06:31 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

If you are so worried that one day you will go crazy and not come back...



... then, what is your life plan from right now up until that very moment?

Dreams, goals, and anything else on your bucket list?


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32,274
Loc: where?
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26499919 - 02/23/20 01:02 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Stop trying to control everything and just go with it.


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Offlinetommygdawg
Stranger
Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 11
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: Shr00mEater]
    #26500137 - 02/23/20 04:00 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
I have seen discussion of psilocybin studies to treat OCD, but have no idea how far completeb the studies are or what’ve results have been. My 15 year old daughter suffers OCD and anxiety, so i’ve been considering starting to look into this, though given the current lack of information, I’ll be waiting until she’s 18 and can make up her own mind on treatment plans.

One think though is for sure, you will not trip with Zoloft (sertraline) in your system, as SSRIs block the same receptors used by psilocin.

Good luck, and do your research.
DJ Ed




Thanks, DJ. I definitely can and have tripped on Zoloft. In fact, I've never been a tripper or weed smoker while not also on Zoloft. The difference is with weed my tolerance just goes dramatically up, and the visuals with psychs are basically nonexistent. My psychosis trip was while I was on Zo. I found great healing benefit from my first acid trip last summer, since then it's been mixed.

In years past, my OCD would focus on the "stomach flu." If people were even in the bathroom for what I felt like was "too long" I thought they might be throwing up and I'd have panic attacks because I might get what they have. Even seeing sick people on TV would make me incredibly anxious.

Psychosis is the new stomach flu in this regard, and it wasn't until I went off the Zoloft. I learned from the psychosis trip and moved on without focusing too much on it. Now since off the Zo, it's all I can worry about.

Honestly, the best I've been in life is when I was microdosing, smoking weed, and on Zoloft. I will say after the psychosis trip, I've been afraid of mush in general. Even the idea of microdosing scares me. But before going off Zoloft, being scared of mushrooms wasn't a full time job. It was only when I considered taking them.

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
exercise routine is good
swimming works
letting the waves of the world roll over you is good
what relieves you from OCD?

any other interests?




Quote:

Shr00mEater said:
If you are so worried that one day you will go crazy and not come back...



... then, what is your life plan from right now up until that very moment?

Dreams, goals, and anything else on your bucket list?




These are good points. I'm a filmmaker, and I haven't been doing much of that for myself for the past couple years. Mainly just working for other people. I need to get back to my own personal filmmaking goals and dreams. There's no point in waiting around to go crazy. And I have moments of clarity where I realize this, but it's staying in those moments that's so damn hard.

I guess I'm just scared that now that I've experienced psychosis on mushrooms, it's only a matter of time until my now-broken brain goes back there on it's own. But hey, it wasn't as crazy as Dennis and Terrence McKenna's stuff, so there's gotta be some hope lol


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OfflineEclipse3130
Servant of the Fungi
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Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 6,220
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Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26500328 - 02/23/20 06:28 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

You gotta lose your mind to find it - there is a you that exists outside of what/who you think you are


--------------------
"In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter
As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is
Perceives Itself"


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Offlinetommygdawg
Stranger
Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 11
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: Eclipse3130]
    #26500502 - 02/23/20 08:28 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Eclipse3130 said:
You gotta lose your mind to find it - there is a you that exists outside of what/who you think you are




Yeah but, what about those who lose it forever?


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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
Mushroom Technician
I'm a teapot


Registered: 10/16/18
Posts: 2,420
Loc: GPS signal lost.. Flag
Last seen: 19 days, 28 minutes
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26500980 - 02/24/20 06:30 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

You know what - you do make a great point. One of my most profound experiences on mushrooms was while I was hiking. It felt as if I was walking on a treadmill through life, all time around me has stopped and I was reliving the same exact moment over and over.

No one was around me. I was just in the woods this insane anxiety and wondering if I died or if I were dreaming. It was freaky as fuck honestly. Didn't take any dosages for a few months after that experience.

Recently, I was getting a cavity filled and my dentist just got up and went to another patient to talk with them (he was waiting for the filling to dry but he didn't say anything about it). So as I was lying there and no one was acknowledging me while I was laying there with this thing in my mouth while it dried - I was wondering if I was dead. I was wondering what just happened.

Where did my dentist go? Why didnt he say anything to me? Am I dreaming?

I had this reoccurrence happen.. was the first time I felt in that state since that trip in the woods. Has to be some form of OCD/anxiety/PTSD - which does make me tread even more lightly.

BUT, the amount of blissful moments I've had on mushrooms beats that 10/10. But I have definitely scared myself. After that trip in the woods.. the biggest lesson was how much I cherish a "sane" mind - and how beautiful a normal working functioning mind is something to never take for granted.


--------------------
:greyalien:




Edited by Vibe_Enthusiast (02/24/20 06:32 AM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
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Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
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Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26501095 - 02/24/20 08:37 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Hi tommygdawg,

Hmm some interesting points, sir.

Most worrying for me, from a personal perspective, is that my almost 15 year old daughter is displaying the exact same OCD and anxiety symptoms you’ve described, notably the being sick bits. She washes her hands now with alcohol gel a few times before she can pick up a knife and fork. And she avoids all places where she has been or felt sick in the past. The fact you’ve described the same, and I also hear reports of many of my daughters peers reporting the same symptoms; could all this be down to the new pressure of social media??

When I returned to the shroomery roughly September last year, I was of the opinion that 50% of people on SSRIs could trip, the other 50% couldn’t. I was one of those that couldn’t and it took a full 5 months being clear before I had a “proper” trip, that is one where you break through to the psychedelic headspace.

But since talking to many people on here about this topic, I’ve become c0nvinced the figures are weighted more towards people NOT being able to trip while on SSRIs.

Your psychotic episode would be equally troubling for me, and I can understand your concerns. I think though that the fact you have micro-dosed mushrooms without problems should give you a warm feeling that you are not suffering any negative interactions from the mushrooms. It does sound like the psychosis was coincidental, that is, just unlucky that it occurred when you were on mushrooms; I believe though that it wasn’t caused by the mushrooms.

If you can get some feedback here from the likes of PrimalSoup, I’m sure they could put your mind at rest much better than I can.

Mush love, and take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
ὕδωρχοίρος

Registered: 07/16/19
Posts: 1,367
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg]
    #26501119 - 02/24/20 09:05 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

It sounds like you just need some healthy habits.
Eat well. Move your body. Sleep. Abstain from unneeded substances.

Mushrooms have a way about letting your brain actualize the things you fixate yourself on.
Same with cannabis.

Your best option is to keep away from those things that irritate your obsessions and introduce things that regulate your body and brain.

I've got bipolar disorder and OCD. I'm otherwise genetically predisposed to a myriad of psychotic tendencies.
Most substances that interact with your psyche require certain disciplines to be able to use in a beneficial way. Without those disciplines, it's easy for those substances to cause detriment.


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OfflineCjmckay
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Registered: 04/09/18
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Last seen: 6 months, 7 days
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: footpath]
    #26501265 - 02/24/20 10:54 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Practice breathing deep and slow, and look directly into the sensation that's causing the suffering. Study it and see what it's trying to do. You can also note where in your body you're feeling this thing.


--------------------


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Offlinetommygdawg
Stranger
Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 11
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: Cjmckay]
    #26501385 - 02/24/20 11:57 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
You know what - you do make a great point. One of my most profound experiences on mushrooms was while I was hiking. It felt as if I was walking on a treadmill through life, all time around me has stopped and I was reliving the same exact moment over and over.

No one was around me. I was just in the woods this insane anxiety and wondering if I died or if I were dreaming. It was freaky as fuck honestly. Didn't take any dosages for a few months after that experience.

Recently, I was getting a cavity filled and my dentist just got up and went to another patient to talk with them (he was waiting for the filling to dry but he didn't say anything about it). So as I was lying there and no one was acknowledging me while I was laying there with this thing in my mouth while it dried - I was wondering if I was dead. I was wondering what just happened.

Where did my dentist go? Why didnt he say anything to me? Am I dreaming?

I had this reoccurrence happen.. was the first time I felt in that state since that trip in the woods. Has to be some form of OCD/anxiety/PTSD - which does make me tread even more lightly.

BUT, the amount of blissful moments I've had on mushrooms beats that 10/10. But I have definitely scared myself. After that trip in the woods.. the biggest lesson was how much I cherish a "sane" mind - and how beautiful a normal working functioning mind is something to never take for granted.




This is similar to my episode. I consumed an unknown quantity and after a while I couldn't tell if I was awake or dreaming. I was able to dismiss it more or less, but now months later I've gone off Zoloft and it's all I can think about.

I should note too that over the years my OCD has taken many forms. The earliest incarnation, and some of my earliest memories, are nightly panic attacks because I was afraid I'd go to hell. Literally every night. I'm no longer religious. Later I experienced it over germs, but only mildly got into compulsions for cleaning my hands.

Then, it morphed to what if I lose my mind and start hurting people? And literally every single thing I looked at I could see myself hurting it, rather it was a person, animal, or object. I then got into therapy and learned I have purely obsessive OCD; that is to say most of my compulsions are mental. So I don't wash my hands a lot, but I logic myself into oblivion.

This fear of losing my mind has now morphed from that mushroom trip. It's the same base fear and I know what my brain is doing but it's so hard to make it stop.

I've recently started the Zoloft again, so hopefully that will help. But damn is this challenging and pretty debilitating. Stopping the ruminations is *so* hard.

Quote:

footpath said:
It sounds like you just need some healthy habits.
Eat well. Move your body. Sleep. Abstain from unneeded substances.

Mushrooms have a way about letting your brain actualize the things you fixate yourself on.
Same with cannabis.

Your best option is to keep away from those things that irritate your obsessions and introduce things that regulate your body and brain.

I've got bipolar disorder and OCD. I'm otherwise genetically predisposed to a myriad of psychotic tendencies.
Most substances that interact with your psyche require certain disciplines to be able to use in a beneficial way. Without those disciplines, it's easy for those substances to cause detriment.




You are right about this. I definitely am working on learning discipline. I tend to run at things 100 miles an hour, and I need to stop doing that. I ran at mushrooms 100 miles an hour and this is where I am.

Quote:

Cjmckay said:
Practice breathing deep and slow, and look directly into the sensation that's causing the suffering. Study it and see what it's trying to do. You can also note where in your body you're feeling this thing.




Could you elaborate more on looking into the sensation? Been trying deep breathing. It helps a bit.


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Offlinefootpath
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Registered: 07/16/19
Posts: 1,367
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Psychosis and OCD [Re: tommygdawg] * 1
    #26501451 - 02/24/20 12:28 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

The fundamental goal of Taijiquan (Tai Chi) and Qigong is the ability to move your qi (chi or lifeblood force/energy) to areas of your body that need attention - usually for healing or martial purposes in this context.
The basic practice of this is to, as you breathe with intention, literally visualize and imagine yourself directing this internal force into a desired area.
Yoga and other meditative exercises employ this principal as well. It, of course, takes a very long time of practice to be able to manipulate it effectively.
However, there's always something to be gained from deep breathing and being conscious of those things that might ail you.
In my case, when it's something of an anxiety/compulsion/mania, these practices help me to dampen the noise they make and allow me to let something of a more logical/neutral force take precedence.


Edited by footpath (02/24/20 12:32 PM)


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