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OfflinePheyer
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Registered: 06/25/19
Posts: 5
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Anyone else been out of the game for a long time?
    #26490039 - 02/17/20 01:34 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Got married at 20, divorced at 22, spent 22-25 on opiates, now I'm 29.5 and have been single for 7 years without any friend groups. Anyone I used to know is either still a junkie or dead, and everyone I work with is like 19-21. I find my feelings of loneliness have gone from linear to exponential lately, and I'd likely have gone entirely insane by now if it weren't for the fact that I have a father of much greater caliber than I deserve who keeps me busy when I'm most down:heart:

Having some trouble finding an outlet, anyone else in the same boat? I should throw out there that I'm not exactly the sleep around type, every chick I've been with was in a relationship setting that i took seriously. Promiscuity, amongst either sex, is a pretty hard turn off for me and as such common avenues like tinder really dont fit my style. I also cant drink, like at all. Finishing a beer would render me rather uncomfortable and likely ruin my night, and seeing as there are no marijuana lodges yet I'm slightly boned on that front

I'm on the other common dating apps, even a couple Christian ones despite my atheism, and I haven't had much luck. I am 6'1" tall, have a hard time not smiling and laughing at everything even if I'm in a terrible mood, fairly thin at 160lb, and I'm still trying to build myself back up after all the dope and jail visits, but I'm starting to feel like I'll be 35 by the time I'm as established as most 25 year olds, and the only women left at that age, in my dementia addled 90 y/o grandmother's words, will be the ones no one else will touch cause they've had 1000 dicks run through them :lol:

This spring I'm planning on joining a local mountain biking chapter because I tried it for the first time last fall and loved it, it is a rather pricey hobby though lol. Been trying to think of some other things I could join this summer

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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Anyone else been out of the game for a long time? [Re: Pheyer]
    #26746844 - 06/15/20 03:23 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Pheyer said:
Got married at 20, divorced at 22, spent 22-25 on opiates, now I'm 29.5 and have been single for 7 years without any friend groups. Anyone I used to know is either still a junkie or dead, and everyone I work with is like 19-21. I find my feelings of loneliness have gone from linear to exponential lately, and I'd likely have gone entirely insane by now if it weren't for the fact that I have a father of much greater caliber than I deserve who keeps me busy when I'm most down:heart:

Having some trouble finding an outlet, anyone else in the same boat? I should throw out there that I'm not exactly the sleep around type, every chick I've been with was in a relationship setting that i took seriously. Promiscuity, amongst either sex, is a pretty hard turn off for me and as such common avenues like tinder really dont fit my style. I also cant drink, like at all. Finishing a beer would render me rather uncomfortable and likely ruin my night, and seeing as there are no marijuana lodges yet I'm slightly boned on that front

I'm on the other common dating apps, even a couple Christian ones despite my atheism, and I haven't had much luck. I am 6'1" tall, have a hard time not smiling and laughing at everything even if I'm in a terrible mood, fairly thin at 160lb, and I'm still trying to build myself back up after all the dope and jail visits, but I'm starting to feel like I'll be 35 by the time I'm as established as most 25 year olds, and the only women left at that age, in my dementia addled 90 y/o grandmother's words, will be the ones no one else will touch cause they've had 1000 dicks run through them :lol:

This spring I'm planning on joining a local mountain biking chapter because I tried it for the first time last fall and loved it, it is a rather pricey hobby though lol. Been trying to think of some other things I could join this summer




I know this is an old thread, but there were no other responses, so why the hell not?

First of all, congratulations on moving away from opiates (at least, it sounds like you've done so from the context). It sounds like you've given yourself a fresh start!

I've been single for about a year and a half, and I'm in a similar situation where I'm not really the sleep around type. I also don't drink at all and generally hate being around drunk people - I'm a very sociable person, but bars and parties are not my scene. So, your post kind of resonated with me on those fronts.

First of all, I think it's great that you have a good relationship with your father, and the fact that you mentioned that in your post shows that you're the sort of person to count your blessings, and that you appreciate the positive things in your life. I think that sort of thing takes you a long way in life. It's frustrating for me to not have any sort of romantic connection in my life for even a year and a half, so I can only imagine how frustrating that might be after seven years. It's good that you're able to maintain relationships that matter to you and that you can see the benefits of these relationships - some people who have been single for as long as you have just let the loneliness swallow them whole, but you don't seem like that type of person. To me, it just sounds like you're ready to start dating people again - you don't need to be dating someone, but it would be nice. That's a healthy attitude, I think :smile:

As for not being "established" until you're 35... so what? I think it's really exciting that you've put all the dope and jail visits behind you. You have a fresh start in a lot of ways. Comparing yourself to other people isn't a good way to boost your confidence in yourself. Your brain will always find ways to perceive others as being better than you in one way or another, so it's much better to focus on the things you have to offer in the present moment than it is to think about what could have been if you had just made different choices in life.

As for the only women left at the age of 35 being ones who have had "1000 dicks run through them", I have a few comments. First of all, it's an obvious hyperbole, and comparing the actual numbers might be sobering for you. If you look into the average number of sex partners people have in their lives, you'll find that it varies by culture. That said, I think it's pretty safe to say that the average human doesn't have more than 10 sex partners in their lives. However, that's a pretty obvious and simple point. The more important point is that having lots of sex partners in one's sex history isn't an indicator of anything, in my experience. I've met people who have had many sex partners who seem to continue making the same mistakes over and over again, but I've also met people who have had lots of sex partners and have gained something unique and beneficial from all of their experiences because of how mindful and down-to-earth they are. For me, my partner's sexual history generally isn't a deciding factor. When sleeping with someone who's had lots of sex partners, it's probably a good idea to have both of you get tested for STD's and to use protection, but you'll be doing those things regardless of sexual history if you're smart :smile:

Lastly, it's a good thing to focus on hobbies, as you already seem to be doing. Group hobbies are awesome and they're a great way to meet new people, but there's also nothing wrong with hobbies you can do on your own (especially these days).

Focus on bettering your skills and keep moving forward with your life. It sounds like you've come a long way. I can't guarantee that you'll meet someone eventually. However, I'd say it's pretty unlikely that you'll be single for the rest of your life just on account of the fact that you're a human.


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