|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
Also an interesting username you have chosen. I find Greek mythology very interesting, fun, and fascinating!
Here is one of my favorite parts from wiki---
Thanatology is the academic and scientific study of death among human beings. It investigates the circumstances surrounding a person's death, the grief experienced by the deceased's loved ones, and larger social attitudes towards death such as ritual and memorialization. It is primarily an interdisciplinary study, frequently undertaken by professionals in nursing (I am a nurse!), psychology (another interest of mine), sociology, psychiatry (2 more interests), social work and veterinary science. It also describes bodily changes that accompany death and the after-death period.
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
I’ve had lots of people fake being nice to me or pity me so I don’t really buy into that people are nice. Most are nice because they want something and when you don’t deliver they get upset. They want their version of you not who you are. In my relationships I felt like I had to put on a mask to keep them around because whenever I just be me no one wants to be around. I’m starting to think other gay men don’t want a relationship or love, just sex.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
feldman114
Stragler


Registered: 09/06/19
Posts: 3,365
Loc: Bravos
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
|
|
Maaaan get real. If, over the course of a lifetime, you have had 5 people who you DiN’T need a mask for, consider yourself lucky.
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
There has been no one I haven’t used a mask for other than my dogs
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
feldman114
Stragler


Registered: 09/06/19
Posts: 3,365
Loc: Bravos
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
|
|
Im saying that’s not a “you” problem. It’s prolly fair to say that most people will never experience true kinship with another person, where both parties are totally honest with each other.
Most humans suck
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
Ahhh, I have been there friend! I know. It fucking wreaks havoc on the very core of every single thing you think about yourself and you question your very existence! I finally met someone who loves me for who I am, and not what they want me to be, or feel/think I should be. Those people that do that are very insecure with themselves it seems and want someone to compliment who they think they are or think they should be and want a "show dog" etc...
I also can't imagine being in my 20's at this time/era in life. Human interaction is changed by computers and media etc...it has changed the way people relate/communicate. Feeling like you "have to put on a mask" to "keep someone around" damages you. Feeling awkward and like no one wants the real you is a pretty common thing and I don't think everyone goes through it to the same degree, nor would they talk about it much, some do. I think all people go through this to some degree though. Don't alienate yourself by overthinking things either, go out and do things. You're going to make mistakes! I did, and that's for sure! BUT, you're also going to have epiphanies and great successes!
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: Ahhh, I have been there friend! I know. It fucking wreaks havoc on the very core of every single thing you think about yourself and you question your very existence! I finally met someone who loves me for who I am, and not what they want me to be, or feel/think I should be. Those people that do that are very insecure with themselves it seems and want someone to compliment who they think they are or think they should be and want a "show dog" etc...
I also can't imagine being in my 20's at this time/era in life. Human interaction is changed by computers and media etc...it has changed the way people relate/communicate. Feeling like you "have to put on a mask" to "keep someone around" damages you. Feeling awkward and like no one wants the real you is a pretty common thing and I don't think everyone goes through it to the same degree, nor would they talk about it much, some do. I think all people go through this to some degree though. Don't alienate yourself by overthinking things either, go out and do things. You're going to make mistakes! I did, and that's for sure! BUT, you're also going to have epiphanies and great successes!
Except I did those things and all they reinforced was that people don’t want that. They just want the mask or the image I project to them. All my life has taught me is that the real me stays locked up and the masks come out. Each person has their own crafted version that I use. I made mistakes yes, the mistakes were in believing that people would appreciate the real me
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
I wish you the best on your journey. I can feel your nihilism and pessimism through the comp, but all is not lost. You just happen to be in a certain space for now. I've been there, maybe it'll happen to me again, maybe not, but I'm making damn sure that it doesn't! You're just hanging around the wrong people, and/or your head-space is creating the environment in which you are residing. Your negativity and pessimism is attracting just that! I feel a bit of happiness there, it's there, it'll be recognized and come out, one day. Ciao for now!
Masquerade Andrew Lloyd Webber Monsieur Andre! Monsieur Firmin! Dear Andre, what a splendid party The prelude to a bright new year Quite a night, I'm impressed Well, one does one's best Here's to us The toast for the city What a pity that the Phantom can't be here Masquerade! Paper faces on parade Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you Masquerade! Every face a different shade Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you Flash of mauve, splash of puce Fool and king, ghoul and goose Green and black, queen and priest Trace of rouge, face of beast, faces Take your turn, take a ride On the merry-go-round in an inhuman race Eye of gold, true is false Who is who? Curl of lip, swirl of gown Ace of hearts, face of clown, faces Drink it in, drink it up till you've drowned In the light, in the sound but who can name the face? Masquerade! Grinning yellows, spinning reds Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you Masquerade! Burning glances, turning heads Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you What a night! What a crowd! Makes you glad Makes you proud All the crème, de la crème Watching us, watching them All our fears are in the past Three months of relief Of delight, of Elysian peace And we can breathe at last No more notes, no more ghost Here's a health, here's a toast To a prosperous year To our friends who are here And may the splendor never fade What a blessed release And what a masquerade Think of it, a secret engagement Look, your future bride, just think of it But, why is it secret? What have we to hide? You promised me, no, Raoul, please don't, they'll see Well then let them see, it's an engagement, not a crime Christine, what are you afraid of? Let's not argue (Let's not argue) Please pretend (I can only hope) You will understand in time (I'll understand in time) Masquerade! Paper faces on parade Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you Masquerade! Every face a different shade Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you Masquerade! Burning glances, turning heads Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you Masquerade! Grinning yellows, spinning reds Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you
This Masquerade Leon Russell Are we really happy With this lonely game we play? Looking for words to say Searching but not finding Understanding anywhere We're lost in this masquerade Both afraid to say we're just too far away From being close together from the start We tried to talk it over But the words got in the way We're lost inside this lonely game we play Thoughts of leaving disappear Every time I see your eyes No matter how hard I try To understand the reason That we carry on this way We're lost in a masquerade We could just start over But it's oh so hard to do When you're lost in a masquerade
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
It’s not really the company I keep, I just learned how life and people really are
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
|