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OfflineSexySmurff
HyperQube
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 522
Loc: HyperSpace
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Backbone]
    #26487625 - 02/15/20 08:50 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

narcissist with a messiah complex


--------------------
Exalted is He from what they utter. Exalted is He from what they imagine. Exalted is He that exists without a place. Exalted is He that was there forever without a time or a beginning. Exalted is He that will be there forever without a time or an end. Exalted is He that will forever be praised. That is your God.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: SexySmurff]
    #26487797 - 02/16/20 01:18 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

https://mariaerving.com/back-to-ego-consciousness-spiritual-awakening/


learn what you guys are trying to achieve lol, this is the process of ego death. letting go of your old self, finding your new, I resent the living fuck out of the world right now, life is tough as fuck, and I am all alone. I had to cut out old friends, give away all my posessions, and ultimately just accept that I can't fight these feelings. You guys wouldn't understand, but it's very real, and if you want to get there. start following your gut, believe in yourself, and dream on. But to act like most of you don't irritate the living piss out of me would be an outright lie. therse a few people here I know are on the right path, and I know they're trying to read between my lines.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26487800 - 02/16/20 01:25 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
:lol:
I liked this guy. Still do. Can do whatever he likes. But don't forget what brought you to these thoughts you're having..





I have said it plenty, these are tools of enlightenment and you guys are all using them to get high for the most part. if you want to use psychs to feel good about yourself the rest of your life, go ahead. I don't possess the ability for people to give a fuck what I think anymore, and I want to stay here, but I need to achieve true enlightenment to get there which is a long process. this is the beginning, and yes I am trying to hold onto some old things this shit isn't easy. i've deleted all of my other online presences but I feel theres still a bit I can share here. Once your ego dissolution begins though you need to nurture it.


how many of you could just say goodbye to your best friends and hardly be bothered by the thought you would never see them again?would you be able to look at your best friends and say "these people are holding me back."? why would you miss them? how did THEY make YOU feel? How are others holding you back in life? how are you holding yourself back? are you not your own worst enemy? why make excuses? aren't all those excuses just hurdles to get over? what will I do when I get there? will I be happy? why aren't I happy now? Start asking questions of yourself, your looking to the wrong places for answers.




and theres a reason you like me, I might be an asshole, but I'm an honest one. I didn't come here to make friends, I came to share knowledge, to learn about myself, and now my time is coming to move on. 3 weeks into this crap and i'm a shell of who I used to be already. I want you guys here with me so bad. but only you can find the way. sorry to those i've offended. I am a little frustrated I don't get to stay here, I was just settling in and it's already time for me to move on. I think I wanted all of you guys to end up hating me because it would make it easier for me to move on. I do have a god complex, we all have them inside us, only some listen and some don't. i've spent my whole life waiting for this moment to come and now that it's here I want to share what I can before all of you fade into my memory and I'll be stuck in the present. no past no future... No problems. Much love fam, even if it has to be tough sometimes. everyone looks at my insults but noone reads what I have to say, and until you can realize the deeper meaning to things, you're wasting your own time. I already know i'm wasting my time here.


Edited by 330ci (02/16/20 01:30 AM)


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: 330ci]
    #26487813 - 02/16/20 01:43 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

and no, I can't find this fucking delete button or I would've deleted this shit account already and it's quite frustrating because I never want to come back to this site, but instinct kicks in and it's the only thing I have left of my old life and I need it to end. I have clicked on account, looked through settings and can't find it, have requested a perma ban and fucking nothing. I have no interest in psychs, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc it all happened over night and I don't know how to explain whats happening but I know it is. I thought this would be a place I could talk about it and not be told i'm some lunatic. I have a spiritual guide though and I have a god who guides me through everything. it's frustrating loving the world but knowing you have to give it up. but it's apart of the process. I have prepared my whole life for this moment and i'm embracing it with everything I have. I wanted to share the gift because I want others to find it. but everyone wants me to tell you how to get there and I had to find those answers within myself. I wish I could give you a step by step guide but it doesn't work that way. I've been told my Traumas weren't traumatic enough here, my suicide attempts were in vain, my alcoholism almost killed me 3 times before I finally got sober. I've smoked cigarettes for almost 12 years and quit in an instant. and you guys want to tell me that a miracle isn't happening in my life. this is why it won't happen to you. I always believed I would wake up one day and everything would make sense. and it did, only when it happened I either accepted the gift and gave up everything, or resisted and got stuck in this non duality hell. only you can save yourself. So believe your beliefs and believe them with all your might because spirituality gets you to God, Psychedelics, Religion, Meditation, Therapy, etc are all just tools to help get you there. The books you read in highschool were there for a reason. learn to read between the lines and understand the deeper meaning. "you have nothing to fear but fear itself." "Every failure is just another chance at success." look at quotes from any enlightened individual and try to understand them. Realize that to get here you have to live your life how you believe you should, no matter the circumstances. I dropped out of Engineering School, multiple rehab visits, psychiatric stays,  Fiance left me, suicide attempt, another failed relationship, was disowned by my family and have hated every day of life since I can remember. today I don't hold those feelings. Today i'm exalted, i'm experiencing a sense of peace and tranquility i've never felt and the volatility of my ego is starting to settle.


Edited by 330ci (02/16/20 01:45 AM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: 330ci]
    #26487815 - 02/16/20 01:53 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Wherever you,go in your life journey, 330ci, I wish you well. If I’m reading your thread correctly, then I believe you have been a combination of lucky to find your goal, and it’s a result of your hard work.

I didn’t come here to make friends either; I came back because I’ve learned so much from you guys that I felt I wanted to try and give something back. If a single person can learn from my experiences, then I feel justified.

I think I might have annoyed a few posters here, but I think on an online community such as this, that it’s unavoidable. So I’ve always tried to write in clear unambiguous English.

You’ve more than helped me, 330ci, so thank you. Have you ever considered a Dog? You will never find a better life friend, who will love you unconditionally. If I could afford to, I would have a large pack of dogs, instead of my two ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

See you around on this crazy life journey, dude. Sending love and good vibes......
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDickBiggenstein
Mycelium Junkie

Registered: 12/28/17
Posts: 15
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: 330ci]
    #26487816 - 02/16/20 01:54 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

330ci said:
The gift is control over your own destiny so long as you believe in your higher power. After today I will no longer be apart of this forum.




Is that gift time release? A day later and you're still here. If you want to stay just stay. Either way I wish you the best man... if you need help please go get it.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26487821 - 02/16/20 02:00 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Wherever you,go in your life journey, 330ci, I wish you well. If I’m reading your thread correctly, then I believe you have been a combination of lucky to find your goal, and it’s a result of your hard work.

I didn’t come here to make friends either; I came back because I’ve learned so much from you guys that I felt I wanted to try and give something back. If a single person can learn from my experiences, then I feel justified.

I think I might have annoyed a few posters here, but I think on an online community such as this, that it’s unavoidable. So I’ve always tried to write in clear unambiguous English.

You’ve more than helped me, 330ci, so thank you. Have you ever considered a Dog? You will never find a better life friend, who will love you unconditionally. If I could afford to, I would have a large pack of dogs, instead of my two ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

See you around on this crazy life journey, dude. Sending love and good vibes......
DJ Ed





Nothing but love Ed. right now i'm just working to get my life back on order, I am going for a major breakthrough, this isn't enough for me. No time for dogs, friends, online personalities etc. 100% focused on me, but figured I could share some knowledge in the process.


To those who don't understand, try to understand the lyrics to tame impalas, my thread title is a lyric from a song Reflektor. you need to learn how your brain works and then from their you can use music, belief systems, ideologies, and psychedelics to guide you to the answers you seek. but once you break through, unless you give up all drugs, clean your system out and really refresh everything you won't experience the significant growth you seek. You don't need substance to find God, he's been inside you the whole time.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: DickBiggenstein]
    #26487823 - 02/16/20 02:03 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DickBiggenstein said:
Quote:

330ci said:
The gift is control over your own destiny so long as you believe in your higher power. After today I will no longer be apart of this forum.




Is that gift time release? A day later and you're still here. If you want to stay just stay. Either way I wish you the best man... if you need help please go get it.





I am better than ever. I have just a very small world right now, and I believe i've explained why i'm still here fairly intelligently, left a bit of reading information, some music etc to really get you focused on your own paths. I'm not worried about myself at all, i'm going to be Great. but while i'm still in the process of letting go, I figured why not share what knowledge I have on this subject since i'm a little more educated in spirituality than most here. I know what I have to do with my life, you know what you have to do with yours. quit projecting that I need help, nobody can help you in life but yourself, and anyone who does help you, you let them. and if you let everyone and everything in the world tell you your worth, you'll be miserable. or atleast I was, I never felt I fit in, and now I know why... Hope you find your way


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OfflineDickBiggenstein
Mycelium Junkie

Registered: 12/28/17
Posts: 15
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: 330ci]
    #26487827 - 02/16/20 02:07 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

330ci said:
Quote:

DickBiggenstein said:
Quote:

330ci said:
The gift is control over your own destiny so long as you believe in your higher power. After today I will no longer be apart of this forum.




Is that gift time release? A day later and you're still here. If you want to stay just stay. Either way I wish you the best man... if you need help please go get it.





I am better than ever. I have just a very small world right now, and I believe i've explained why i'm still here fairly intelligently, left a bit of reading information, some music etc to really get you focused on your own paths. I'm not worried about myself at all, i'm going to be Great. but while i'm still in the process of letting go, I figured why not share what knowledge I have on this subject since i'm a little more educated in spirituality than most here. I know what I have to do with my life, you know what you have to do with yours. quit projecting that I need help, nobody can help you in life but yourself, and anyone who does help you, you let them. and if you let everyone and everything in the world tell you your worth, you'll be miserable. or atleast I was, I never felt I fit in, and now I know why... Hope you find your way




I hope you follow a path that makes you happy and I wish you the best. I don't see the need to leave here if you want to stay but that's a personal decision for you to make. Take care.


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26487836 - 02/16/20 02:18 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Of course I’m reading this, Socrateshroom; I consider most of you guys “friends”, which is not something I was expecting or looking for when I returned to the shroomery. I’ve been overwhelmed with the love, the good vibes, and the great advice.

Yes some posts on TPE are slightly, well, downright weird, but there’s always something thought-provoking to get your teeth into.

I may have a lot of experience, but I am nowhere near as enlightened as you guys. It’s all give and take, and we can all learn from all our various differing perspectives.

A couple of points to update you with, though, Socrateshroom:

  • Packed my job in; start a new job 300 miles away in two weeks. I’ll be on my own, so am going to use the time for a 6 month integration phase and see how I feel then. Having said that though, my Mazatapec grain jars are being put into a coir monotub later this morning, so I will almost certainly have at least one trip from them......
  • I haven’t forgotten about the trip report: I’ve been conscious I’ve been spending a lot of time on here, which is great, but I still have a wife and daughter I need to give my time to. So my plan is to write up my report in a few weeks when I’m away from home 👍🏻
  • I had “one last trip”  Friday just gone, but I took your advice and dosed with my lowest ever mushroom dose: 2.5g dry B+. Apart from a really intense come up, for about 30 mins, the rest of the trip was both sublime, and “easy”. I couldn’t reconcile how such a low dose was still so psychedelic. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go anywhere near as far as I would have with 3.8g, but it was still very useful, very enjoyable, and even without any intentions going into the trip, I learned a lot! I was so in tune with reading my wife’s body language and mood, it was uncanny......


Anyway, I’m starting to hijack 330ci’s thread......

Much love
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: DickBiggenstein]
    #26487842 - 02/16/20 02:22 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DickBiggenstein said:
Quote:

330ci said:
Quote:

DickBiggenstein said:
Quote:

330ci said:
The gift is control over your own destiny so long as you believe in your higher power. After today I will no longer be apart of this forum.




Is that gift time release? A day later and you're still here. If you want to stay just stay. Either way I wish you the best man... if you need help please go get it.





I am better than ever. I have just a very small world right now, and I believe i've explained why i'm still here fairly intelligently, left a bit of reading information, some music etc to really get you focused on your own paths. I'm not worried about myself at all, i'm going to be Great. but while i'm still in the process of letting go, I figured why not share what knowledge I have on this subject since i'm a little more educated in spirituality than most here. I know what I have to do with my life, you know what you have to do with yours. quit projecting that I need help, nobody can help you in life but yourself, and anyone who does help you, you let them. and if you let everyone and everything in the world tell you your worth, you'll be miserable. or atleast I was, I never felt I fit in, and now I know why... Hope you find your way




I hope you follow a path that makes you happy and I wish you the best. I don't see the need to leave here if you want to stay but that's a personal decision for you to make. Take care.





you can't be living in the present when you're stuck in the past. I can stay but it would be extremely uncomfortable for me. there's no way I could possibly be happy with the way my life used to be anymore. I have already gotten rid of all my childhood memories, photos, family pictures. Etc. I have to look in the mirror everyday and fall in love with that Man, because it's who I am and who I will always be. I was born to suffer, when I woke up from my suicide attempt my first thought was "Why didn't you let me go God." and he told me he had other plans. I've resisted this my whole life and it's brought me nothing but misery. I have no option to accept this and roll with it until I am here to stay. I don't want my misery back, and unless i'm willing to let go of everything, friends, family, past loves, possessions, etc.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26487843 - 02/16/20 02:23 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Of course I’m reading this, Socrateshroom; I consider most of you guys “friends”, which is not something I was expecting or looking for when I returned to the shroomery. I’ve been overwhelmed with the love, the good vibes, and the great advice.

Yes some posts on TPE are slightly, well, downright weird, but there’s always something thought-provoking to get your teeth into.

I may have a lot of experience, but I am nowhere near as enlightened as you guys. It’s all give and take, and we can all learn from all our various differing perspectives.

A couple of points to update you with, though, Socrateshroom:

  • Packed my job in; start a new job 300 miles away in two weeks. I’ll be on my own, so am going to use the time for a 6 month integration phase and see how I feel then. Having said that though, my Mazatapec grain jars are being put into a coir monotub later this morning, so I will almost certainly have at least one trip from them......
  • I haven’t forgotten about the trip report: I’ve been conscious I’ve been spending a lot of time on here, which is great, but I still have a wife and daughter I need to give my time to. So my plan is to write up my report in a few weeks when I’m away from home 👍🏻
  • I had “one last trip”  Friday just gone, but I took your advice and dosed with my lowest ever mushroom dose: 2.5g dry B+. Apart from a really intense come up, for about 30 mins, the rest of the trip was both sublime, and “easy”. I couldn’t reconcile how such a low dose was still so psychedelic. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go anywhere near as far as I would have with 3.8g, but it was still very useful, very enjoyable, and even without any intentions going into the trip, I learned a lot! I was so in tune with reading my wife’s body language and mood, it was uncanny......


Anyway, I’m starting to hijack 330ci’s thread......

Much love
DJ Ed



Couldn't care if I tried lol


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OfflineSocrateshroom
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 8 hours
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: 330ci]
    #26487895 - 02/16/20 05:18 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

With all due respect 330ci, it looks like you only directly engage in posts that are complimenting you and clump everyone else who might be trying to give you constructive criticism into the lot of people who “are mean to you”.

Then you say how much everyone on here doesn’t understand the truth and is no where near the truth like you are.

You keep saying people can’t do what you do, achieve the things that you achieve, again without knowing the lives of those on here. What you see from the members who post here isn’t fully representative of who they are, their accomplishments, etc.

And there’s so many people on here trying to help, but of course you think you are beyond help because you think you have “ascended” metaphorically speaking.

You’re looking for attention, that’s why each “I’m gone forever” post is followed by 3 more of telling us how you’ve made it to nirvana and how sad you are that none of us can follow you because we’re “unworthy” (metaphorically speaking)

And I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but I recognize your behavior EXACTLY to the minute aspect because I was EXACTLY like that. And no one bothered to help me (and I don’t blame them because I was an attention seeking arrogant POS). I was so deluded about how “smart” I was that I didn’t realize i had an ego the size of our known universe.

I wish you luck and I feel for you, I really do. It was hard living how I was because the suffering was immense. And I know that you are suffering greatly in your own way. You’re crying that people don’t take your suicide attempts seriously but they fucking do!

Man.....now I know how my friends felt when I was like this. It’s exhausting when someone refuses to listen. All I ask before you shrug this off is to consider what I or the other people who are trying to help you are saying.


--------------------


Edited by Socrateshroom (02/16/20 05:22 AM)


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InvisibleShr00mEater
Strange
Male
Registered: 10/17/18
Posts: 985
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26487905 - 02/16/20 05:49 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I’m starting to think he is just trolling now.....





HEY MODS! This noob here, 330ci, can’t seem to find the “delete button” for his posts, and he is so self absorbed that he can’t possibly leave here forever without first permanently removing the wonderful record of his presence here, and with them, the words of pure wisdom that he has deemed right to bestow on all of us lowly mortals.

So, Maybe a mod could help him out and just permaban his account, so that he can get on with his life instead of losing any more sleep about it. :shrug:

I say again, If you are so concerned with cutting ties with this community, GTFO and don’t look back... Come back after you relapse, we might be able to be friends. 👍


Edited by Shr00mEater (02/16/20 05:57 AM)


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
modboy
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32,273
Loc: where?
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Shr00mEater] * 1
    #26487960 - 02/16/20 07:39 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Banned till next week:bye:

I would of shown him the self ban link but I'd imagine hed ban himself for life only to email an admin in a month asking it to be lifted:shake:


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InvisibleShr00mEater
Strange
Male
Registered: 10/17/18
Posts: 985
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: mushboy]
    #26488077 - 02/16/20 09:31 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

:eek:

Yikes, that worked a lot better than I thought it would...  I guess I have way more clout around here than I imagined.

lol, I’m jk, I take no credit, or responsibility. Thank you very much, I know you were getting pretty sick of the antics too.

It will be good for him, Hopefully, he gets over himself and comes back, maybe the week off will make him realize how his bad experience on this forum wasn’t really that bad and there are probably still things left to learn from it. :grin: I know I learned a lot from watching myself try quite hard to accept, relate and give space to a person who didn’t want any of those things.

If he doesn’t come back. Too bad and oh fucking well, I am sure he will find a safe space somewhere, that plenty of people will tolerate such a basic level of self delusion for much longer than it was tolerated here. Not that there wasn’t a good effort given for his sake, you guys were really great, tolerant, eloquent, compassionate, but at the same time, not willing to coddle him with the lies he has surrounded himself with. Much respect! :heart:

Anyway, Good job everyone, he could never say people didn’t try to connect.  Also, Special kudos to Feldman for pointing out his bullshit like 4 weeks ago. Nice eye, man!  :thumbup:


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OfflineBackbone
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/18/20
Posts: 339
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: mushboy]
    #26488092 - 02/16/20 09:42 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

So it on and on and on its heaven and hell


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
modboy
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32,273
Loc: where?
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: Shr00mEater]
    #26488098 - 02/16/20 09:48 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I think most of us have felt the jesus complex while coming down off insane doses.

Then you want to let go of everything that everyone refuses to let go of so you end up thinking 'Ill do it for my loved ones since they cant do it themselves'. The jesus complex begins:tinfoil:

Next you give up porn or even worse delete your entire downloaded collection(doh) because you are on the path. Then those same loved ones you put yourself on the cross for start to laugh and doubt you. Then you really feel like jesus being betrayed by all those Judas's.

Few days later your scrapping bong resin and watching porn on your phone.


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OfflineBackbone
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/18/20
Posts: 339
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: mushboy]
    #26488114 - 02/16/20 10:00 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

heyooooo


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
Re: I'll see you on the other side. [Re: mushboy]
    #26488126 - 02/16/20 10:06 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Very profound, dude.

Very funny 🤣🤣🤣,but very profound 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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