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InvisibleAsante
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Posts: 86,795
Wrote a mail to my local crematorium * 7
    #26473264 - 02/07/20 04:11 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I wrote a letter to my local crematorium, asking in my usual graphic detail that in case my diet plan failed and something happened to me, whether their oven had the capacity to cremate a 365lbs person, and whether the 560,000 excess fat calories "essentially 6 jerrycans of biodiesel along with corpse and coffin" would pose additional issues. I noted, politely, that in the concentration camp ovens the average load was 3-5 peorsons, while I "weigh for two people but have the combustion value of four." I also made mention of how in Wuhan with the viral outbreak the crematoria ran 24/7 and wondered how long a modern cremation process would take and what the maximum capacity was that they could handle.

:eek:

Just got my reply from the good gentlemen. They remarked that as long as the coffin fit through the door, the oven would be up to it :lol: and that the average time for a cremation is 75 minutes, but sometimes up to 2 hours, depending on the weight of the deceased, material of the coffin but moreover on the time of day because later in the day the oven is fully heated up, after several cremations and it takes much shorter.

They told me there's an actual contingency plan for disasters for 24/7 operations in case of disaster that increases the capacity and that they on average perform 9 services a day with the capacity to increase on it.


Thats good to know :standingby:


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante] * 3
    #26473342 - 02/07/20 06:47 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

:okiapprove:


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Amanita86] * 6
    #26473362 - 02/07/20 07:10 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Wrote a mail to my local crematorium.

That's gotta be the first time I've ever heard that sentence in my life. Gotta be.


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #26473379 - 02/07/20 07:27 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I saw that title and was like :justno:


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Niffla] * 4
    #26473382 - 02/07/20 07:35 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Wrote a mail to my local crematorium.

That's gotta be the first time I've ever heard that sentence in my life. Gotta be.





You gotta have answers to questions like these :lol:


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Registered: 07/29/15
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 7
    #26473383 - 02/07/20 07:36 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I was really hoping he would directly reference the Holocaust to them, and he delivered. 8/10.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Loc: Texas
Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante]
    #26473405 - 02/07/20 07:59 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
Quote:

Niffla said:
Wrote a mail to my local crematorium.

That's gotta be the first time I've ever heard that sentence in my life. Gotta be.





You gotta have answers to questions like these :lol:




:youthemandawg:


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleCrazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante]
    #26473409 - 02/07/20 08:02 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

How much are you worth as bio-diesel?


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Crazy_Horse] * 1
    #26473477 - 02/07/20 08:51 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Crazy_Horse said:
How much are you worth as bio-diesel?





At the start of the day I help to warm up the oven nicely.  :ohshi:


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Offlinepacmanbreed
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante] * 1
    #26473622 - 02/07/20 10:06 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

While it isn't granted yet, I really think thats the least practical use of stored energy. :heart: :wink:


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
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Registered: 08/15/11
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: pacmanbreed] * 4
    #26473701 - 02/07/20 10:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hahahaha asante delivers again lmao :ilold: So hard hahaha


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Offlinedstark
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Registered: 02/27/08
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: spirit_shadow] * 1
    #26473889 - 02/07/20 12:36 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

:lol:
Good info


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What is a mind, if not something to be messed with? What is consciousness, if not a state to be altered?

~I Feel
:mushroom2:
at Home~


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OfflineTripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: dstark] * 4
    #26473923 - 02/07/20 01:03 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I love how they just politely answer your questions :lol:

To them burning corpses is no big deal. If it fits, it burns


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Tripsurfer] * 4
    #26474022 - 02/07/20 02:14 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Tripsurfer] * 3
    #26474037 - 02/07/20 02:23 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Tripsurfer said:
I love how they just politely answer your questions :lol:

To them burning corpses is no big deal. If it fits, it burns





I was counting on job conditioning, and was not disappointed. Its a job for them, stripped of taboo. The practicalities become important, it no longer has a shock factor.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante] * 2
    #26474055 - 02/07/20 02:36 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

The People of the Netherlands are so practical and helpful, you cant beat this sort of customer service!


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Shiithead] * 2
    #26474086 - 02/07/20 02:51 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Shiithead said:
When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.



Yeah I’ve always said just drag me far enough out that I don’t stink up the joint and consider that ship sailed..:hatsoff:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineEbilPhish
🏻🏼🏽🏾🏿
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/20/18
Posts: 63
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: Asante]
    #26496044 - 02/20/20 08:43 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
They told me there's an actual contingency plan for disasters for 24/7 operations in case of disaster that increases the capacity and that they on average perform 9 services a day with the capacity to increase on it.





I'm guessing that's where they put heaps of people in at once and they mix up the ashes like they do with pets.

Although when we had our dog done a few years back they told us they didn't mix them together anymore. I guess because of the internet more people found out that's how it works and so people complained.

Not really sure what to do with a box of dog ashes though...


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Offlinetwighead
mͯó
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Registered: 08/27/08
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: EbilPhish]
    #26496084 - 02/20/20 09:00 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Mix them with coca leaves n chew it


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¿Check out some art m8?



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OfflineThe Influence
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Re: Wrote a mail to my local crematorium [Re: twighead] * 3
    #26496105 - 02/20/20 09:06 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I roofed the funeral home my baby brother was cremated in. I had to literally work in the smoke of burning flesh. It has played heavily on my mind.


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