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DFUKYLIEE
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Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience
#26468649 - 02/04/20 02:43 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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About two weeks ago I had the worst mushroom trip I’ve ever had. Taking 5g with my S/O. (In the almost complete dark in our house. The only light on was the stove light which was very dim.) Going into it I was excited and happy, no bad feelings around. Since it’s going to be long I’ll cut to the chase, when I hit the peak, panic started to surround me and my thoughts started going in loops. Feeling like I was going to die, needing to die because I couldnt handle it. Seeing a black figure, ready for it to take me. It was genuinely scary and no matter what I did to try to change my thoughts it always went back to dark deep thoughts about myself. After we both got past that point we were happy to be “back”, somewhat laughing about the situation (pretty much just nervous uneasy laughing) and just talking about both our experiences, which were equally bad. The following days I didn’t hold onto any of the feelings that I had, much, at least that’s what I figured. The things I did take from the experience was feeling more connected to myself, loving myself more and really appreciating being “here” more.
Fast forward a week ahead I started to get really excited about the opportunity to take DMT (for the first time). In a way I felt like I needed to take DMT in order to release my fears of what I felt on my bad mushroom trip. I didn’t want to be afraid any more of something that helps so many people. Feeling like it wasn’t going to help me really scared me for some reason. As if I wasn’t deserving. So I feel as if I hyped up the idea just to get over my fears.
Now, fast forward to two days ago. The entire week prior I was pumped and ready to experience DMT, hoping to release my fears. Once I sat down, in the dark, seeing the flame and breathing it in, panic once again hit me. I was completely fine until I was already in the process. While in my DMT trip the only thing that I thought about the entire time was that I was scared to be away from my body. I knew the entire time that I couldn’t feel myself and that set me into more panic, mostly because I didn’t know if I was going to return. Which was the same thoughts I had on my mushroom trip. And was the one feeling I said I never wanted to feel again. (Being afraid to leave my body, not necessary just leave my body. Just being afraid of it in general.) Unfortunately once again when the DMT experience was over I was extremely happy to be “back” and happy that it was over. After my bad DMT trip, The next day out of nowhere it hit me like a brick wall. Thinking of both the trips I had. That in that present moment something wasn’t right and I wasn’t actually “here”. My chest felt extremely tight and I didn’t like the feeling of my heart or breathing. I’m not one that has ever had an anxiety or panic attack so I didn’t necessarily know what was going on and I still don’t, but I’m assuming maybe it was one of those after doing some research. It kept replaying in my head, the thoughts I was having during both trips. Feeling I was going to die or needed to die, but didn’t want to die because for some reason I was thinking this is where we go when we die. And I didn’t want to be there, forever. Having these thoughts reply in my head, forever.
Overall I feel like I learned to love myself more and loving being “here”, more. But I don’t want to be afraid of doing psychedelics again. I want to learn from them. Grow with them.
Even two days later, I get a tight feeling in my stomach or chest when I look at our Alex Grey posters, seeing the visuals again. Seeing a flame from a lighter, thinking back to when I was just starting the whole trip. Or even smelling the DMT.
I’m probably just an idiot for taking DMT way too soon after the bad mushroom trip. But I wanted to know if anyone has experienced something like this and has gotten past these feelings. For some reason, it feels really good to express these feeling.
Thank you to anyone who actually read this whole thing. I appreciate any responses.
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Shr00mEater
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE]
#26468692 - 02/04/20 03:00 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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All sounds normal to me. 
How many times have you tripped total? And ever alone?
When started to feel off, what did you guys do to try to shake it off?
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Sabnock
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Shr00mEater]
#26468709 - 02/04/20 03:08 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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It's simple, give into those feelings, allow yourself to die, surrender/submit to the process/substance, let yourself go where it wants to take you, don't fight or resist it because then that's the result you get, you get scared and panic and can't wait to be back. You have to let it consume you and allow yourself to let go and fully immerse yourself into the experience. Try to leave resistance at the door on your way in, trust the process, trust the substance, trust yourself, try to remind yourself going in that you will come back in one piece and everything will be alright, there's no reason to be afraid or to fear it, even though it can be quite a dramatic come up, on the other side the fear disappears and gives way to amazement, astonishment, bliss, love, gratitude, etc. The initial phase can be quite trepidatious but if you allow yourself to let go, and just breathe and be and experience, it'll all work out far better than you could ever have imagined.
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Sabnock] 1
#26468738 - 02/04/20 03:22 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Thanks for saying it’s normal. I guess I’m just overthinking in my head.
I’ve taken mushrooms a few times, 3g each time. Never had any bad feelings while in those trips. And only have done DMT once, which was the one time in the story above. My S/O on the other hand, is very experienced will all psychedelics. He’s been talking me through this whole process but I guess I wanted to see if anyone else has had these same feelings since he hasn’t experienced a really bad trip/really negative feelings before.
When the trip started to go bad, he could definitely tell I was not in a good place and I think that’s what made him get into a bad place as well. But he definitely wasn’t on the same level of fear as me. (As he stated) He was able to get through it pretty well and help me through mine by talking to me. Me on the other hand, once the body highs hit, which felt like every minute or so, I’d lose my shit. Ended up with no clothes on, felt as if I couldn’t breathe and wanted to rip out my chest.
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Sabnock
Be Your Own Shaman


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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE]
#26468760 - 02/04/20 03:40 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Yeah it's a perfectly normal/natural response, so don't worry or be concerned, it happens, just remember next time to let go and go with the flow and let it take you over and don't fight/resist it, you'll come out just fine once you can learn how to let go.
Having music playing through headphones can help too ime, at least when it comes to mushrooms or Ayahuasca, smoked DMT though some say music can be a bit distracting, but it may make things more tolerable as well. Music gives the experience direction and gives you something positive to focus on rather than focusing on the intense body sensations and the dramatic shift in consciousness during the come up, music really seems to drive the experience forwards and makes it easier to let go/surrender and go with the flow, ime. But if you use music, go for something instrumental, something calming or soothing, relaxing, that helps you be able to relax and calm down, lyrics on the other hand can be distracting but can also be cool at times.
Another thing to keep in mind is that ime it seems better to listen to music before things start kicking in and keep listening as it's kicking in and you're passed the come up, then you can stop listening to music and get up and move around or what not, whereas if you start listening to music during the come up, you're already gonna be in a panicked state and it may make it harder to relax and music may not seem like a good idea then. Though i have had times where i'd be coming up on Aya and i'd start feeling overwhelmed and i put on a song and within a few minutes that one song was enough to turn the trip around, but generally it's best to make a playlist and listen to it when you start feeling the first signs of things kicking in and then you have much less of a chance of being overwhelmed. Without music the experience can go in many different directions and you're left with the uncomfortable body sensations, the intensity, your thoughts, etc, so music can help a lot.
Another thing i can recommend is some sort of calming tea, like Lemon Balm for example (3 to 4.5 grams of dried leaf) which makes come ups gentler/smoother.
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Sabnock]
#26468863 - 02/04/20 04:52 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Yeah I totally get what you’re saying. I get why everyone’s saying you have to just let go, but I’m not exactly sure how to. Just sucks to be afraid of a trip and not want to go back there when I really don’t want to be afraid.
We did have music playing the whole night (Emancipator, Four Tet, Bonobo, etc.) through our sound system which did help when I was coming down. But during the peak it was almost like I couldnt even hear anything.
Sorry I don’t mean to be so down about the topic or anything I guess I’m still just coming back to reality.
I’ve never heard of the calming tea, sound like a really good idea especially for me. Lol thank you for your advice. I’m starting to feel a lot better knowing I’m not going crazy. Haha
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Sabnock
Be Your Own Shaman


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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE]
#26468905 - 02/04/20 05:25 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Yeah i really recommend Lemon Balm tea, i've never used it in tea bag form, but if you get tea bags make sure the dosage equals 3 to 4.5 grams of Lemon Balm (best not to get a herbal mixture tea, just get the plain Lemon Balm tea), or get some loose leaf which is what i use, weigh out 3 to 4.5 grams of the dried leaf, steep it in a cup of hot water for 15 minutes or so covered with a lid, then filter it through a coffee filter or strainer, mashing the plant matter to get all the tea out, then sweeten the tea if desired and chug it on down when you take the mushrooms or like maybe 30 minutes before smoking DMT.
But yeah music is imo much better using headphones compared to using a sound system, it's the way they do it in Psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy sessions, headphones and eyeshades though the eyeshades are imo unnecessary particularly if the room is already dark, they use the eyeshades because they have lights on to monitor you.
But it's okay to be hesitant and somewhat fearful, so long as it's a healthy fear or rather, respect for the power of these tools, heck i took Aya daily/near daily for 4 years on my own, i still the pre-flight anxiety/nervousness/fear before taking Psychedelics and still get some panic during the come up of things but i've learned how to manage that so it's not overwhelming panic.
Just remember to breathe, maybe have some Lemon Balm, use music for grounding and direction, learn how to put down your defenses/let your guard down and let go/surrender, and try to calm yourself down, relax, take it easy, go with the flow, letting go is basically just acceptance coupled with surrender and relaxing into things, it can be difficult in the beginning but you'll get used to it.
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mushboy
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Sabnock]
#26468987 - 02/04/20 06:10 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Next time let the black figure take you
Now I have you with me, under my power Our love grows stronger now with every hour Look into my eyes, you'll see who I am My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE] 1
#26468994 - 02/04/20 06:13 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Try listening to Icaros. There’s something about them when you’re in that state that is really calming, peaceful and reassuring. One of the main factors that is good with them is that they’re essentially stories in structure so nothing loops really... psychologically it keeps your mind moving forward so you don’t fall back on a specific thought or feeling and ‘sit still’ and stew in it. Just kinda glide off into it and let the story unfold..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Eclipse3130
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Amanita86] 1
#26469207 - 02/04/20 08:33 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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They are all learning experiences, I have had similar experiences. You will know when the time is right to return, you will feel ready, don't rush your self.
Go in with a different intention, and intention to fully let go and let the medicine guide/take you where it wants to.
The shadowy figure was probably your fear manifesting, that would freak me out as well as I have PTSD to shadowy figures after people have sent demons at me to harass me, but even that was a lesson in fear. Experiment with lower doses and deep meditation so you don't become severely over whelmed, include some bright nature as well!
When we experience fear we are clinging to our identity, or ego, it's easier said than done, but with practice especially in meditation, you can develop a firm seat in your true self, where you are able to observe everything and attach to nothing, no thoughts or no feelings but the presence of the self which is divine radiance
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
Edited by Eclipse3130 (02/04/20 08:39 PM)
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Sabnock] 1
#26469223 - 02/04/20 08:40 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Thank you for that advice! I will definitely try the tea. Even if my brain just needs reassurance that I took something to calm myself.
Yeah it sounds like I should have done more research about how to calm myself incase of that situation. Never really thought it would get that bad, naïve girl. Lol mushrooms definitely put me in my place.
I’m really glad to hear that you learn each time, how to manage your feelings/thoughts. I know now that even though it was somewhat terrible I did get through it and I could do it again, maybe even smarter about it next time.
Thank you for your advice though, seriously. I didn’t expect anyone to comment on this and be respectful. The internet can be pretty harsh. Lol My husband shares his information on here, has been for years and told me to give it a shot. Happy that I did.
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: mushboy]
#26469227 - 02/04/20 08:42 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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I definitely told it to take me. Lol no luck.
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Eclipse3130]
#26469249 - 02/04/20 08:53 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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I guess I didn’t notice it before, but I’m glad you said not to rush myself. In my head I’m so stuck on wanting to get back to the good trips that I’m not even taking time to breathe and reset.
Ahhhh yeah meditation.. Do you know any good people online that teaches it? I’d really love to get into it, just not sure where to even start.
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Eclipse3130
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE] 1
#26469261 - 02/04/20 09:01 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
DFUKYLIEE said: I guess I didn’t notice it before, but I’m glad you said not to rush myself. In my head I’m so stuck on wanting to get back to the good trips that I’m not even taking time to breathe and reset.
Ahhhh yeah meditation.. Do you know any good people online that teaches it? I’d really love to get into it, just not sure where to even start.
Tons of videos on YouTube, guided meditations are a great place to start, find one that vibes with you. It's basically a natural psychedelic, you control the pace!
And the shadow self, Carl jung, is some good research, it's basically the split off parts of our selves that we have forgotten, lost or pushed away due to circumstances, the unconscious mind, discovering it can be scary, but once you have brought light to it, like you have, now you are that much more conscious/aware of it!
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: Eclipse3130]
#26469273 - 02/04/20 09:07 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Awesome, thank you for that!
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cactushead
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE] 1
#26469336 - 02/04/20 09:36 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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You've already got tons of good advice but I'll throw in my 2c 
I agree that letting go and moving forward with the process is vital. If you enjoy reading through stories of people who have tripped then over and over you will read about people having a fear of death/insanity and accepting it or facing it before they can move into the good portion of the trip.
I'm one of those believers in the mushroom gods so I think that there are certain things we need to experience before we can move forward. I think the death experience is very significant and important to go through. It can be scary as hell, but in the end IMO the only thing that dies is what needs to go. A snake doesn't sit there and have a panic attack about losing its skin when its time to shed. We may have ego attachments to parts of ourselves we are afraid to lose, but learning to let go is part of the beauty.
All that being said, I think the letting go and dying part is something that has to be deeply processed before it can be surmounted. If you couldn't overcome it in one trip, maybe this is something worth looking at. It also sounds like maybe you are disassociating a little due to panic (that is what it sounds like to me when you mentioned uncomfortable body sensation), so looking into self help for panic and disassociation may help you in the short term. No guarantee these symptoms will last but they are definitely uncomfortable and its worth it to gain the skills to help manage them.
Hope you feel better soon
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WhoManBeing
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: DFUKYLIEE]
#26469345 - 02/04/20 09:42 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Seems as there a lot of emptiness to these experiences. With the details shared, I can’t come to understanding of what actually happened. More easily understood that your causing yourself a troubled time for not giving self pleasure full experience. As if you were to go to a show, you dress up and get yourself excited to have a good time, then, at the show, you don’t shake a leg, dance and get all giddy, and then, feel sour for it afterwards.
I see it clever to come asking for advice seeking another perspective to use and analyze your own situation. Difficult it is to express of what exactly is going on. Sounds as if you don’t enjoy the mushroom/dmt experience. That’s ok. Not everyone enjoys the same things. Try not to tangle yourself up in with others advice to making things of troublesome be ok for the sake of what?
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Rangiku



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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: WhoManBeing]
#26469446 - 02/04/20 11:14 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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The hardest part is finding the proper set and setting for longer mushroom trip and it is so crucial for the progression of the experience. If your set and setting have to change then a trip can end or become virtually unnoticeable
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  ”Beware the forest’s mushrooms.”
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: cactushead]
#26469467 - 02/04/20 11:32 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
cactushead said: You've already got tons of good advice but I'll throw in my 2c 
I agree that letting go and moving forward with the process is vital. If you enjoy reading through stories of people who have tripped then over and over you will read about people having a fear of death/insanity and accepting it or facing it before they can move into the good portion of the trip.
I'm one of those believers in the mushroom gods so I think that there are certain things we need to experience before we can move forward. I think the death experience is very significant and important to go through. It can be scary as hell, but in the end IMO the only thing that dies is what needs to go. A snake doesn't sit there and have a panic attack about losing its skin when its time to shed. We may have ego attachments to parts of ourselves we are afraid to lose, but learning to let go is part of the beauty.
All that being said, I think the letting go and dying part is something that has to be deeply processed before it can be surmounted. If you couldn't overcome it in one trip, maybe this is something worth looking at. It also sounds like maybe you are disassociating a little due to panic (that is what it sounds like to me when you mentioned uncomfortable body sensation), so looking into self help for panic and disassociation may help you in the short term. No guarantee these symptoms will last but they are definitely uncomfortable and its worth it to gain the skills to help manage them.
Hope you feel better soon
Thank you, I really do appreciate hearing from multiple people.
After looking at other people’s stories and hearing everyone’s information on here, I do agree that it happened for a reason. There’s things that I’m now realizing have changed since then, for the better. I don’t wanna get too into it. I took all day today to read and really try to understand my trips. And I think by writing down all the vital things from each trip, I was able to see what I thinkkkk each one meant. I’m glad that I received this information or I think I might not have been able to try these experiences again. Obviously I don’t think I understand it completely, (and I don’t expect to understand completely) but I think I know what caused some of it. Which was good to bring to my attention so I could take care of it.
I’ll definitely look into the panic situation as well, but I think most of that rooted from not being able to see my son at that moment (he stayed at grandmas. Lol) Not saying I’d ever have him around while taking psychedelics. But just coming to terms with that he’s totally fine. Like I said I wrote down every point I remembered in my trips after getting all this advice. I only really then saw that as an issue right then. Maybe should have sat down and wrote more in the first post. But yeah after realizing that, I connected it with a lot. Why I was afraid to die, because he needed me “here”. I’m not totally sure but it’s what seems to make sense to me.
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DFUKYLIEE
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Re: Bad Mushroom/DMT Experience [Re: WhoManBeing]
#26469471 - 02/04/20 11:40 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
WhoManBeing said: Seems as there a lot of emptiness to these experiences. With the details shared, I can’t come to understanding of what actually happened. More easily understood that your causing yourself a troubled time for not giving self pleasure full experience. As if you were to go to a show, you dress up and get yourself excited to have a good time, then, at the show, you don’t shake a leg, dance and get all giddy, and then, feel sour for it afterwards.
I see it clever to come asking for advice seeking another perspective to use and analyze your own situation. Difficult it is to express of what exactly is going on. Sounds as if you don’t enjoy the mushroom/dmt experience. That’s ok. Not everyone enjoys the same things. Try not to tangle yourself up in with others advice to making things of troublesome be ok for the sake of what?
Yep I get what you mean. There was a lot I didn’t add in, but after writing out everything I remembered from my experiences, a lot more came front. I somewhat explained more to someone else on this post, maybe it’ll make a little bit more sense. Either way it’s extremely hard to explain. When writing things down more came to mind, more remembered thoughts of what I was deeply thinking. Hope that kind of makes sense.
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