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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
how do you allow emotion to get to you?
    #26466334 - 02/03/20 06:36 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

So I got invited to a super bowl party yesterday, I didn't have alot of friends growing up and never got invited to these events so this was the second time i've ever been to one of these parties.
I felt I was invited because my best friends did and I wasn't too thrilled about going but there wasn't much reason not too. it wsan't that many people, just like 8 of us total, and I knew 4 of the people there pretty well, and the were a few randoms. I hang out with the host and my best friends regularly but the other guy I knew there was someone I only see when I'm hanging out with the other 3, we always kind of banter back and forth and he always thinks it's fun fucking with me.
I am the youngest friend of the group and was the last one to get into psychedelics. because of this I usually don't feel I bring much to the table in terms of what to talk about but finally I decided to open up out of my shell as all of them use psychs and I only get to talk about that outlet here for the most part.
friend number 4 has this heir of superiority while really not being all too successful in life. I couldn't care less when he harasses me and I usually just think of it as kinda funny that he tries to get into my head and I don't let him.
Last night after some bong rips, psychedelic discussion and a few drinks we all went down stairs to watch the game. I had no interest in it so I racked up the pool table. I wanted to play pool with my best friend but he got pre occupied and #4 walks up to me and we decided to play. I immediately start whooping this guys ass, so he turns to shit talking to fuck with my focus. I get into hyper focus modes and can tune out the outside world and that's what I did. just tunnelvisioned on the balls and holes I was aiming for. He got upset because I wasn't engaging him in his "gentlemans banner" and was calling me a baby and wasn't being offensive, but it was annoying as hell. so apparently I responded as I was lining up my next shot, was talking shit while i was hyperfocused on the ball and this guy fucking snaps. like loses his shit, says fuck you im done with this shit, quits the game, goes out and has a cigarette and is just mad pissed. everyone looks at me like WTF just happened, I looked at everyone else like WTF just happened and sat down and talked with our mutual friends. I felt bad so I went and apologized and he was not happy with me and told me I took it too far.( I didn't even want to engage this situation since I am much better at getting on peoples nerves than they are on mine) so I got upset as I didn't want to have the banter to begin with and he was being a whiny bitch so I just left the party. about an hour later I came back(was right down the road) and apologized again but this kid was still super upset. I was upset with myself for allowing the situation to happen, but I just was thinking about how stupid the whole situation was and how often we could probably resolve these type situations without a problem. you guys ever experience anything like this? reminds me of the friendships ended because of psychedelics thread. only this guy was just all spun out on weed and alcohol yesterday and it used to be me who couldn't control his drinks so I got super self concious about the whole situation. I really don't think i'll be hanging out with 2 of the 4 people in that friend group anytime soon. I always feel like I have to be a different person.


Edited by 330ci (02/03/20 06:40 AM)


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OfflineThe Mycologist
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Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 13 days, 4 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466352 - 02/03/20 06:53 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

A lot of people in this world cant deal with their emotions in healthy ways


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: The Mycologist]
    #26466363 - 02/03/20 07:05 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

The Mycologist said:
A lot of people in this world cant deal with their emotions in healthy ways




:whathesaid:

I was one of those people who had this sort of issue (until my first psychedelic experience humbled me). It is hard to be vigilant of one's own neuroses and many people just don't want to make the effort. In my experience, no one was getting through to me when I was like that (I had to make the changes on my own). You can only continue on your path and hope that he eventually takes the path of self-improvement in the areas where he needs it most.

In the meantime, don't feel bad or apologize unless you actually crossed the line. When I was more like that, apologies never appeased me they just made me angrier somehow (my ego was quite big). I secretly respected it more when people were real with me and didn't coddle my outbursts or irrational behaviors.


--------------------


Edited by Socrateshroom (02/03/20 07:06 AM)


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InvisibleShr00mEater
Strange
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Registered: 10/17/18
Posts: 985
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26466369 - 02/03/20 07:09 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

I read it all. You didn’t mention what your specific response was.

What did you say? 😊

I wanna know how far across his line it was. Lol


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: Shr00mEater]
    #26466388 - 02/03/20 07:26 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

I don't remember exactly what I said but it was something along the lines of "if your as good at sex as you are at pool you've never been balls deep inside your girl." and probably continued down that rabbit hole. this kid went from calling me a baby and asking if I needed a safe space to running to his in a matter of 30 seconds of me opening my mouth. I don't know what I said as I was far too focused on the game at hand and not the psychological mind games he was trying to play. in the most badass fashion though he storms up stairs, I didn't take my eye off the balls through the ordeal and I shoot my shot and just fucking drain it lmfao



I felt guilty because I knew I didn't want to engage in tearing a person down. I know I am capable of doing it. and seeing him get so upset because I beat him at his own game was extremely satisfying. I guess it just confuses me how you could engage in a situation where the whole point is to provoke emotion and interrupt focus then get upset when someone successfully deploys those antics against you. I am sure I said some horribly offensive shit, but like I told him I don't know when to draw the line. if my focus is to provoke emotion and interrupt thought, I'm going to think of the easiest way to do it.


when I left it was because I did what I believed to be right in that situation. I never meant to actually hurt him, rather excite his emotions, push his buttons and ultimately give him the "gentlemans banter" he sought. I got upset with myself because I left my house and told my best friends that I wanted a relaxing night and noone to worry about me or be upset by my actions.

I am well aware that I don't behave completely normal in public.  like I said earlier, I didn't have alot of friends or socialize much growing up so it's something i'm learning to do as an adult. I found this situation weird because I was perfectly fine, was completely accepting of his feelings and genuinely was upset that I projected myself in a way that ruined his night. it was when my apologies were rejected that I was frustrated as I made it clear by my words, body language and actions that I didn't want to engage in what he called "gentlemans banter" and was even more frustrated because people were saying "I took it too far" when I didn't want to go down that path of conversation to begin with and as far as i'm concerned I effectively put an end to it and really find his response to the situation fucking hilarious.

my emotions and thoughts are so mixed up, this wasn't even so much a psychedelic experience. it was just an experience I never would've analyzed prior to using psychedelics. I also wouldn't have returned to the party prior or wanted to resolve the situation. so I'm kinda working through my thoughts on this myself and always love others inputs.


Edited by 330ci (02/03/20 07:37 AM)


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InvisibleTheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?
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Registered: 10/18/17
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466403 - 02/03/20 07:58 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Fuck him, he broke the rule of "don't dish it out if ya cant take it"


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OfflineI AM SWIM
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Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,999
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466407 - 02/03/20 07:59 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

He should be the one apologizing, not you. He seemed to be in the wrong, and you were trying to avoid it, and now it's as if the matter is your fault since you were the one apologizing.

Now if you really were trying to push his buttons, then you probably are partially to blame. Either way, sometimes its best to just "Let the wookie win" for their own ego's sake.

:2cents:


--------------------


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #26466417 - 02/03/20 08:09 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

that was my views, but apparently "I crossed the line." and when reflecting on my thoughts, he crossed the line by engaging me in the conversation to begin with.


I mean I was playing to win, I was going to kick his ass anyway but forcing a forfeit because he couldn't control his emotions was oddly satisfying in the situation. I definitely meant to do it, I wanted to irritate him like he was irritating me, I just can't seem to think why we as human beings would even want to engage in a conversation like that.
I feel slightly guilty for succeeding so well at getting into his mind, I didn't want him to feel bad, I just wanted to prove that I was better at that ability too.
I know i'm a bit of an ass, but I guess I have trouble knowing when to draw the line in certain social situations and I would like to know how I can be more appropriate to avoid this type of crap.
I personally feel that this was very childish situation. I definitely tried to express that I didn't want to play along. I just wish I knew how to play along in that scenario without pushing it too far. I enjoy having fun, but I don't want it to be at the expense of others, especially in a situation that is supposed to bring everyone together.
This whole thread probably seems idiotic, but for some reason I can't seem to get it off my mind and I want to learn as much as I can from the situation as I seem to have a problem defining boundaries between people outside of my "tier one supportive friends." I try to treat everyone the same way and those who stick around are awesome and those who don't aren't meant to be. but lately my best friends have been introducing me to other people and having me join them in experiences that really opens me up to other people and I don't want their friends uncomfortable around me.


Edited by 330ci (02/03/20 08:12 AM)


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InvisibleTheStallionMang
Do U know who yur fuckin with?
Male

Registered: 10/18/17
Posts: 4,569
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466436 - 02/03/20 08:28 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

He made sure you didn't win by acting like a mamby pamby little bitch and quitting the game, now you're letting HIM win by letting it get to you.  You aren't responsible for his inability to take a ribbing.

Dude sounds like a little bitch...


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OfflineEclipse3130
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Registered: 10/06/13
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #26466472 - 02/03/20 08:59 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

You gave into his whines like the baby he is.


--------------------
"In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter
As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is
Perceives Itself"


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: Eclipse3130]
    #26466501 - 02/03/20 09:24 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Thanks for the insight. It was definitely weird and he definitely might’ve trolled me into feeling bad about something I shouldn’t. I spoke with my friend earlier and she was laughing about how hilarious it was too so my conscious is now clear. Ego death definitely has you look at life in some weird ways


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InvisibleShr00mEater
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466564 - 02/03/20 10:01 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

It’s good that you were concerned for his wellbeing. I don’t think you got trolled exactly, more like, you are a reflective person who is trying to be sincere and does value positive relationships. And he is highly dependent on whatever faulty psychological framework he is working with.

I don’t know the guy, but I can imagine he is the type who generally says things like “it’s just who I am. I treat everyone with respect, that’s why I demand it from others”. They demand “respect” because they are insecure and overly sensitive to personal insults against them, and yet they never notice how insulting towards others their own behavior is, because, simply: that’s the way they are. The admission of which is also a good indication they also don’t engage in very much self reflection. Check him out, I bet the people who “like” him also suppress a lot of themselves when he is present.

Best to just stay away from those kinds if you can help it. They don’t have anything to offer except the example of what not to become. And you don’t have anything he wants either, even your apology won’t work... you will have to both watch your mouth and tolerate his “jus playin around” while wondering how a person could continue for so long in such delusion without noticing.

He’s taken psychedelics before? Not saying it’s a cure all... I know that is not true. Some people might never see outside their own problematic perspective, drugs or no drugs.

But, if he hasn’t, maybe he really hasn’t noticed his volatile emotional/mental baggage is hanging out for everyone to see. Maybe it really hasn’t occurred to him yet that there are better ways of existing than the way he currently is. Not saying you should be the one to enlighten him, obviously that isn’t the way to go.

In any case,  don’t worry about it, you tried your best, and gave him more of a chance than most of us would. He will work it out or not.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466606 - 02/03/20 10:31 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

You know what pal; I nearly lost my job before Christmas because I didn’t back down from the boss when he singled me out. But it felt good, Nd continues to feel good.

Yes I’ve been exactly where you describe, but what particularly resonated were the amount of times you tried to apologise. I would have been exactly the same, when I was depressed, and I’d feel much worse afterwards for having tried to apologise. I never wanted bad blood and would go the extra mile to smooth things out with people, when they didn’t deserve it.

I’m much happier these days by sticking to my principles and morals, not backing down, and not trying to smooth things over from a situation I wasn’t enjoying anyway.

You’ve got to stay true to yourself, 330ci.

Mush love
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: Shr00mEater]
    #26466609 - 02/03/20 10:33 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

Shr00mEater said:
It’s good that you were concerned for his wellbeing. I don’t think you got trolled exactly, more like, you are a reflective person who is trying to be sincere and does value positive relationships. And he is highly dependent on whatever faulty psychological framework he is working with.

I don’t know the guy, but I can imagine he is the type who generally says things like “it’s just who I am. I treat everyone with respect, that’s why I demand it from others”. They demand “respect” because they are insecure and overly sensitive to personal insults against them, and yet they never notice how insulting towards others their own behavior is, because, simply: that’s the way they are. The admission of which is also a good indication they also don’t engage in very much self reflection. Check him out, I bet the people who “like” him also suppress a lot of themselves when he is present.

Best to just stay away from those kinds if you can help it. They don’t have anything to offer except the example of what not to become. And you don’t have anything he wants either, even your apology won’t work... you will have to both watch your mouth and tolerate his “jus playin around” while wondering how a person could continue for so long in such delusion without noticing.

He’s taken psychedelics before? Not saying it’s a cure all... I know that is not true. Some people might never see outside their own problematic perspective, drugs or no drugs.

But, if he hasn’t, maybe he really hasn’t noticed his volatile emotional/mental baggage is hanging out for everyone to see. Maybe it really hasn’t occurred to him yet that there are better ways of existing than the way he currently is. Not saying you should be the one to enlighten him, obviously that isn’t the way to go.

In any case,  don’t worry about it, you tried your best, and gave him more of a chance than most of us would. He will work it out or not.





He was one of the first people I met after my introduction to LSD. He would’ve been a tier 3 friend at best.
Our friend group is really weird though. We do everything as partners or small groups. When a new person is introduced its like being indoctrinated into the family. I’ve never been this close to a group of peers in my life so it’s a new experience for me and I really want to find my place so as to make those around me comfortable as well.
The more I reflect on it though the more I notice how much this guy doesn’t really fit in. I think he’s been friends with my friends for so long that they know his quirks and stuff about him and accept things that I personally find irritating. They’ve accepted things about me that are irritating too. I think it was a mixture of stupid shit being said, a little too much alcohol and weed and a lack of sensitivity that lead to where the situation ended up. Ive come to the conclusion that I’m not going to let this situation affect my feelings towards him and I’ll be a bit more concious about how I react should the situation arise again. I definitely took his shit as long as I could before I snapped and I could’ve verbally conveyed that we were both there to enjoy ourselves and nothing positive was going to result from making fun of each other no matter how playful the intent was.


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Offline330ci
the unenlightened =D

Registered: 11/22/19
Posts: 344
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26466621 - 02/03/20 10:43 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
You know what pal; I nearly lost my job before Christmas because I didn’t back down from the boss when he singled me out. But it felt good, Nd continues to feel good.

Yes I’ve been exactly where you describe, but what particularly resonated were the amount of times you tried to apologise. I would have been exactly the same, when I was depressed, and I’d feel much worse afterwards for having tried to apologise. I never wanted bad blood and would go the extra mile to smooth things out with people, when they didn’t deserve it.

I’m much happier these days by sticking to my principles and morals, not backing down, and not trying to smooth things over from a situation I wasn’t enjoying anyway.

You’ve got to stay true to yourself, 330ci.

Mush love
DJ Ed






My apologies weren’t so much for my actions as I was sorry he took what I said so personally. And when he wouldn’t accept my apology I just got mad at him. It reminded me of the first animal I killed. I wanted to do it, and succeeded. But I just remember sitting over the dying corpse being so angry with the animal for not dying fast enough. I wanted its life to stop so I could stop feeling bad about taking it. In a similar sense yesterday I was mad at myself for doing something I intended because I didn’t think it would make me feel the way I did. I didn’t do anything wrong per se, but I still feel bad about doing it. I don’t think anyone is upset with me but him at this point so hopefully it’s water under the bridge by the next time I see him. He certainly didn’t want to talk to me about why he was so upset last night and I just wanted him to get over it as the intent of my actions was never to cause him that much distress, just ease off of teasing me if anything.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Registered: 09/04/16
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Re: how do you allow emotion to get to you? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466973 - 02/03/20 03:00 PM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Right I get where you’re coming from, 330ci, but still similar in many respects. I used to get angry with myself though. There’s something more to this though, he shouldn’t have given out as much as he did to then crack after seconds from yourself. Something will come out in a year or two, maybe.......

❤️


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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