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OfflineDJ Ed
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Am I still depressed?
    #26463833 - 02/01/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Came off SSRIs a few years ago. Tapered down to 0g medications on 2nd july 2016. Since then I’ve  been self medcating with psilocybin mushrooms.

I don’t know if I’m a head case, shroomery,, but I can’t work out if I’m still depressed! I’ve been depressed for so long, possibly 45 years, that I don’t know what not being depressed feels like.


Disciplined 2 week mushroom trips over the last few months have given me sort of a constant after glow.

I’m sitting here a full week after my last trip, and I stil feel a buzzing sensation. A,sensation of happiness.

Am I still depressed?

Appreciate your love and comments,
❤️

DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26463858 - 02/01/20 03:18 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

In my opinion, it doesn't matter. Focusing on whether or not you are depressed won't make you happier. The best thing you can do is try to live life as happily as possible. Maybe your happiness is lower than others, maybe it is higher, but does that really matter?

The average person today is far happier than the average person 100 years ago. Someone back then would probably be considered depressed today. But comparing your happiness to others will never yield any good thoughts. The only thing one can do is maximize his own happiness.


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:rastamon::getstoned::rastamon:


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26463872 - 02/01/20 03:27 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thank you, KJ 👍🏻

I find historical; documentaries on telly to be fascinating. When you think they are basically the same as us, but the conditions they had to love through. It’s scary, really.

❤️DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineKorean Jesus
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26463985 - 02/01/20 04:30 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I also find them fascinating. It's been shown that the average person today has a higher standard of living than a fifteenth century king.


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:rastamon::getstoned::rastamon:


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OfflineEclipse3130
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Korean Jesus]
    #26464257 - 02/01/20 07:31 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Let go of the old you and embrace the new you :smile: you are restored.


--------------------
"In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter
As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is
Perceives Itself"


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Offlinefragrantdiscipline
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26464266 - 02/01/20 07:38 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Since then I’ve  been self medcating with psilocybin mushrooms.




Work has really been getting me down. In my position I can't move up. There's nothing new to learn or do. They're not engaging me. It's the same things over and over. It's depressing the shit out of me.

I started taking shrooms, just one or two, a couple of days ago just because of how depressed I was feeling at work. The day after starting them my attitude was positive.

I'm not sure you need to trip to gain benefits from shrooms. Even microdosing can help improve one's mood.


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Desperately in need of some stranger's hand in a desperate land.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Eclipse3130]
    #26464548 - 02/02/20 01:47 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Eclipse3130 said:
Let go of the old you and embrace the new you :smile: you are restored.



I like that, thank you 👍🏻

❤️


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: fragrantdiscipline]
    #26464550 - 02/02/20 01:54 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I’ve been giving microdosing quite a bit of thought recently. I’m not sure I need to anymore, as my OP said, I am actually feeling much better. But the real decision-maker for me is that I really love tripping; I’ve found a sweet spot, I reckon, with 3.8g dry which allows me to trip deep, but also at frequent two week intervals. The after-glow is lasting longer and longer each time. So it dawned on me, am I still taking mushrooms for depression because I don’t really feel depressed anymore! It’s a strange feeling after decades of bad feelings, and not knowing how to feel good.

Mushrooms are both a medicine, but when there’s “nothing” left to heal, are still as useful.

Check out the new Gwyneth Paltrow The Goop Lab show on Netflix. The first episode is about mushrooms, and they interview one girl who has microdosed for 6 years. I found it really informative, though the BBC in the Uk has slated it for spreading dangerous misinformation.......yep, the establishment are still spreading their lies about psychedelics! It’s now scientific fact, FFS....


❤️


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26464594 - 02/02/20 03:19 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I think the best test to see if you’re still depressed is to take a long break and see how you feel. Then you can gauge if the mushrooms are keeping the depression at bay or if they have eliminated it.
What Eclipse3130 said is absolutely spot on. If you know Jordan Peterson, he has an old lecture where he talks about transformation of the individual and uses the Harry Potter movies to illustrate his point. The old you has died. The new you, like the Phoenix reborn from the ashes, is a completely different entity, the transformation being catalyzed by the sacrifice of your old self.

And on microdosing, if you’re system works for you then no need to microdose. I think it’s a valuable tool for many people who don’t sustain a long afterglow from a solid trip. But I do recommend trying it for science :hehehe:

Anyway, great to hear you’re doing well against the existential  battles of life :cheers:


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26464607 - 02/02/20 03:34 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Much love back at ya, pal ✊🏻

I think the real healingnstarted in Nov 2018 when I took a 4.1g dose; I didn’t feel the need to trip for 11 months after that one learning experience where the mushrooms taught me a fundamental lesson: that depression is a choice. So I decided not to be depressed anymore. Blew the cobwebs out for almost the 11 months, but my negative thought patterns started returning,s so since then I’ve been on 3.7/3.8g dry at two week intervals.

It’s a hard feeling now to convey the transformation in me, but I am getting so excited for my next trip, whereas anxiety has been keeping me away. It’s all a learning process.

Another thing I’m “discovering” is that I get bored really quickly, which has probably led in the past to abuse of drugs (alcohol, weed, a couple of years with mdma). So I’m spending a lot of time here, a lot of time reading, and getting out to my allotment more regularly. I’m going to spend quite a few trips this year camping on thenallotment. Also got a project to start which will involve building a wooden summerhouse, but that will have to be planned as I’m both skint and not very practical!

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefragrantdiscipline
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26464649 - 02/02/20 04:58 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

So it dawned on me, am I still taking mushrooms for depression




There's certainly one way to test that, by getting off shrooms for a while. I suppose it all depends on what's causing your depression. Is it situational (like for me, shitty job) or is it chronic imbalances of brain chemistry? It's important, however, to be able to recognize when one is falling into their depression. After 45 years, you likely know how to determine that.

From what I've read of shrooms and depression, I don't get the impression that it's a cure, but rather a treatment meaning it's likely something you'll need to continue. Definitely, make sure you're taking care of two other aspects that go a long way to combat depression as well: diet and exercise. Having experienced crippling depression I've learned long ago that diet & exercise is important to achieve a more positive attitude. It's not a cure, but without diet and exercise maintaining a positive attitude over the long term is impossible if one doesn't have a naturally bubbly attitude, which I don't. Vitamins and a weekly 8 mile hike have become my mainstay treatment for keeping my attitude positive.

Edit: Oh and one other thing. If, like me, you're a pessimist and typically have a negative or dismissive or skeptical attitude about most things, start using positive modifiers instead of negative. For example: Instead of saying that "sucks" or it's "crap" say that's fantastic, it's awesome, etc. I know it sounds like bullshit. On it's own it doesn't do anything, but I've found that my attitude is often times the reflection of how I perceive others' attitudes towards me. People react more positively to positive words even if they're dripping with sarcasm. It's something I started doing about 10 years ago and it seems to work.

I don't know if mushrooms are something I want to take all the time. Even with microdosing, I've read there is an on/off schedule to avoid build up of tolerance.

Quote:

yep, the establishment are still spreading their lies about psychedelics




I've given up on main stream media long ago. Information is like anything else. You have to use critical thinking skills to choose it for yourself. The MSM is not reliable for anything that crosses into the territories of theirs, their advertisers or the governments own self-interests.


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Desperately in need of some stranger's hand in a desperate land.


Edited by fragrantdiscipline (02/02/20 05:07 AM)


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Offline330ci
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: fragrantdiscipline]
    #26464762 - 02/02/20 07:23 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I was questioning this about myself until a trip a few weeks ago. I was tripping hard and frequently questioning everything about my life and on one trip I was analyzing why I smoked cigarettes, managed to Unthink the thought process that day and I haven’t smoked since.  I felt a click in my head that seemed physical, like a light switch turned on and the world just has made sense since. I feel like a different person, so comfortable and at peace with myself the only worry I’ve had since was if I was going to stop feeling this way. It’s kind of uncomfortable in a sense that I’m not used to it but I overall feel happy. I felt myself getting better for a long time but I have gotten to a point where I don’t know what I would seek from a psychedelic experience right now, and have no desire to trip in the foreseeable future.  I’m asking myself what I believe to be the right questions, I’ve got a confidence in myself I’ve never felt, my friends have noticed a positive change in me, and ultimately I never think were ever done with our journey. But if your still questioning, I’d say you still have a bit of anxiety or depression lingering still. The only way I’ve been able to explain it to myself is I finally feel I’ve found God inside myself, I felt I looked to the world for answers from the world for so long, doubted myself for so long, didn’t love myself for so long that I didn’t feel I was capable of thinking for myself, that others knew better and that I wasn’t worthy of certain things in life. I’ve shed those ideas from my mind and released my soul from bondage. You will definitely know when it happens as I’ve never seen the world so clearly in my life.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: fragrantdiscipline]
    #26464783 - 02/02/20 07:50 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I’ve been watching some Rosalind Watts videos on YouTube recently; she is involved with the psilocybin studies at Imperial College London with David Nutt and Robin Carhart-Harris. She talks about the overriding success of psilocybin for treating depression, but suggests it is not a one time cure; rather it needs to be supplemented at intervals.....that’s why I’ve been sticking to a two week schedule of tripping, since October last year, and here I am wondering if I’m no longer depressed.....

I’ve been putting all my energy into maintaining the after-glow, and that way of thinking you get on the come down where nothing phases you; stuff just goes over your head, leaving you to spread good emotions, not rebukes.

You do sound very similar to myself when you describe your thought patterns. I think the word that would best describe myself is; “cynical”. I suppose as an engineer a cynical mentality is needed. But yeah my job; I’m a sub-contractor for a large aerospace company, and talk about the abuse you get from “permies”, the unions, your boss. Treated like shit, and always singled out. New tax laws in April mean I’ll be packing it in and going back permanent employment. Previously, before I went contracting, it was work that was the final straw before I tried to take my life and then succumbed eventually to SSRIs.

Life is so much better these days. I’ll never get over the loss of my dughter in Oct 1999, but the shit that happened to me as a kid I can now think about rationally. I’m no longer struggling to get to sleep, ruminating endlessly over the same shitty thoughts; but I am still drinking too much alcohol and s,oking too much weed. I have not exercised properly since SSRIs, though I walk regularly with my dogs. My appetite is slowly returning (almost 4 years since I stopped SSRIs so wow, they’re really damaging....) so I am starting to eat better.

I do feel like a different person. Though not one who is in any hurry to give up tripping 👊🏻

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: 330ci]
    #26464785 - 02/02/20 07:53 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey 330ci,

I’m definitely still feeling some depression / anxiety. It’s almost subliminal, possibly years of habit, but if I’m honest, good as I am feeling, I couldn’t say I’m 100% confident yet.

Getting there though, pal.

Awesome you’ve kicked the smoking addiction. How long has it been now?

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinesporecap
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26464859 - 02/02/20 08:52 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

For me I also see the value in the psychedelic experience that it acts like a 'tare' button on a scale, it kind of resets my point of view and lets me reevaluate my position and connection to everything in life.
We get so distracted and stressed about things like work, money, success, hate, bad news etc., as we are bombarded by it every day. Up to the point where it completely consumes us. Mushrooms allow me to take a step back and actually reconsider the true value of all these things, how irrelevant most of them are and guide me to realize what I am really longing for.
A trip to a very different country and culture can do the same, it really opens your mind experiencing a completely different way of life.
In the same way I think mushrooms can be a continuous tool to regularly remind you to stay grounded and connected to yourself and nature.

Good old Terrence McKenna put it into words much better than I ever could: (Taken from his book "Food of the Gods")
Quote:

Once activities involving syntactic self-expression were established habits among early human beings, the
continued evolution of language in environments where mushrooms were scarce or unavailable permitted a
tendency toward the expression and emergence of the ego. If the ego is not regularly and repeatedly dissolved in
the unbounded hyperspace of the Transcendent Other, there will always be slow drift away from the sense of self
as part of nature's larger whole. The ultimate consequence of this drift is the fatal ennui that now permeates
Western civilization.

The prolonged and repeated exposure to the psychedelic experience, the Wholly Other rupture of the mundane plane caused by the hallucinogenic ritual ecstasy, acted steadily to dissolve that portion of the psyche which we moderns call the ego. Wherever and whenever the ego function began to form, it was akin to a calcareous tumor or a blockage in the energy of the psyche. The use of psychedelic plants in a context of shamanic initiation dissolved-as it dissolves today-the knotted structure of the ego into undifferentiated feeling, what Eastern philosophy calls the Tao. This dissolving of individual identity into the Tao is the goal of much of Eastern thought and has traditionally been recognized as the key to psychological health and balance for both the group and the individual. To appraise our dilemma correctly, we need to appraise what this loss of Tao, this loss of collective connection to the Earth, has meant for our humanness.




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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: sporecap]
    #26464982 - 02/02/20 09:55 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thank you for the McKenna quote; he’s a legend.

I love your analogy to the tare function - perfect. I feel exactly the same, like it wipes the slate clean. Others have described as similar to a defrag of your computers hard drive. Therapists are describing it as a ski slope with ruts where the mushrooms lay fresh snow and get rid of the ruts. I’ll be using “tare function” again, it’s brilliant 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offline330ci
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26465002 - 02/02/20 10:03 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Hey 330ci,

I’m definitely still feeling some depression / anxiety. It’s almost subliminal, possibly years of habit, but if I’m honest, good as I am feeling, I couldn’t say I’m 100% confident yet.

Getting there though, pal.

Awesome you’ve kicked the smoking addiction. How long has it been now?

❤️
DJ Ed




11 days now. I’ve been tripping at least once a month and up to to 2 times a week for the past 6 months. It wasn’t until I started writing down my thoughts and questions on paper that I started seeing answers. I graduated from engineering school, minored in accounting and have a great mind. People have always thought I should write a book, found me intelligent and seem to find me pretty interesting. But I never found myself these things, I always felt I was trying to learn about the world around me so I could finally fit in and it wasn’t until I accepted that I’m here for a purpose greater than to procreate, make others happy and that the meaning to existence is currently being redefined that I became at peace with myself and my pursuit of happiness in life.


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OfflineAZZI
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: 330ci]
    #26465025 - 02/02/20 10:19 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

It doesn't sound like you're depressed.


--------------------
🌸🌸🌸


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OfflineUmbraSprite
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26465704 - 02/02/20 05:46 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I am in a similar situation.  Decided to get off anti-depressants which were antagonists to the psylocybin.  Took 3g's of dried cubes last Friday.  First time in around 14 years.  Trip wasn't too intense which was a good thing as my son got hurt at school and we had to pick him up early.  I definitely feel a bit less heavy and more grounded.  Honestly though you have to keep your expectations realistic.  Life is hard.  It sucks sometimes.  So having bad days doesn't equal having clinical depression.  That's just life.  Everyone feels that way occasionally.  The real question is if your down time is disrupting your ability to lead a satisfying and productive life.  Also how intense your downturns are.  If you are ideating suicide...that's clinical depression. 

The data coming out around psylocibin for breaking addictions and for serious depression is pretty damn convincing.  They really haven't released much of the details other than the trips are done blindfolded, with music/headphones and with a therapist present.  The idea being you aren't distracted by outside stimuli and focus on your thoughts.  They are using synthetic psylocibin also so it is hard to determine how the dosages they are using correlate to eating dried shrooms. 

That all said as long as you are tripping in a safe environment and it isn't disrupting your "regular" life I don't see the issue.  For me if I have to ask if I am depressed I am probably not.  I definitely know when I am.  I have no appetite, sleep constantly, utter nothing but negativity and feel like there are 20 lb weights on my chest constantly.  Any break in that and I am thrilled.


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Offline330ci
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26466260 - 02/03/20 04:49 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Thank you for the McKenna quote; he’s a legend.

I love your analogy to the tare function - perfect. I feel exactly the same, like it wipes the slate clean. Others have described as similar to a defrag of your computers hard drive. Therapists are describing it as a ski slope with ruts where the mushrooms lay fresh snow and get rid of the ruts. I’ll be using “tare function” again, it’s brilliant 👍🏻





this is how I use psychedelics to remap my brain. I have looked at all of the scientific studies I could find on psychedelics. Evidence has shown that psychedelics increase brain activity and connects the thought processes between regions we don't normally have strong communication with regularly. I personally find the slope analogy perfect, but each person is different so maybe some mindsets will have anologies that resonate with them better. I believe anyone can enjoy psychedelics but you must find focus and purpose from your trips. To implement purpose from my trips I think about the problem I wanted to solve before hand. think about how I could solve the problem during the trip and focus some thoughts on that for a while, then in the days after the trip I write down my thoughts, I think about the change that I want to be made in my life. I think about my thought processes leading me up to those choices or mindsets, think about why I want them changed, How I could change those mindsets or actions, I question why I believe i'm incapable of changing, and ultimately keep asking myself questions until my logic overpowers the emotional ties to a process and allows me to continue forward in a more black and white manner without any setbacks.  lately I've been finding myself seeing greater success in areas with well defined goals. I hold myself accountable to change. the change seems easier as


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: UmbraSprite]
    #26466543 - 02/03/20 09:47 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah, from a suicidal thoughts perspective, I am no longer clinically depressed. Thoughts of suicide stopped once the SSRIs kicked in. So I do not advocate that SSRIs are bad, as they saved my life, quite literally. But I advise people to please only consider them as a very short term fix. There is no data on the effects of SSRIs for long term use, so we don’t know what problems we as a society are storing up. I still haven’t got a proper appetite back after nearly 4 years off SSRIs, for example, and still haven’t returned to the same levels of exercise as pre-SSRIs. The reason for the OP was that after approx 45 years, I’m not sure what “not being depressed” feels like. It does sound like I’m out of the woods.....

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466560 - 02/03/20 09:56 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey 330ci,

I’ve used the ski slope analogy since I heard it in a Rosalind Watts YouTube discussion of the psilocybin studies at imperial. The following night I took all her advice from that video and dosed with 4.1g. The mushrooms taught me a fundamental lesson, tha t now I’ve received loads of helpful posts here has convinced me I’ve “cracked it”! That is, that depression is a choice.

That trip was Nov 2018, and I woke up no longer choosing to be depressed. That stayed with me until Oct 2019, when after a couple of months of real sh1t at work, I felt the lows starting to return. So I started tripping again, but at lower more frequent doses, and I’ve gotten rid of the lows again. But because I enjoy tripping so much, even though I am no longer clinically depressed, I will not be abstaining from mushrooms again! No rather, I’ll be maintaining discipline ✊🏻

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: UmbraSprite]
    #26466566 - 02/03/20 10:02 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey one other thing, UmbraSprite,

Agree with the lack of details on the studies, but possibly that’s deliberate, to stop the public spoiling things again!

I now have the Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Study playlist on. Spotify. But what I am lacking is the before, during, and after guides. Once I’m in the middle of the trip, it is very hard not to just go with the flow; if there was a guide there, instructing you where to go,  I can see that being so much more effective!

My wife hasn’t tripped, and really doesn’t seem to understand the psychedelic headspace, so I fear she would be no use as a guide. Having said that, I’m getting 2 week afterglows, that are simply awesome. I seem to remember Robin Carhart-Harris once saying 2 week intervals should be considered for depression patients, to maintain said afterglow.......

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26466830 - 02/03/20 01:37 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

So, one thing to consider is the possibility of mania after taking psychedelics for their counteraction of depression.
Of course, not everyone is manic depressive, but it's easily misdiagnosed and sometimes it's hard to personally establish a line between 'normal', manic, and depressed. And whether or not that 'normal' is actually a swing a bit too high. It's also pretty obvious that psychedelics can cause acute mania, even in those who are not depressed.
From my own experience, it's quite easy to not recognize that your head is in the clouds when habitually taking psychedelics for extended periods.
I'll omit sub-perceptive µdosing from that because it seems quite obviously chemically balancing as opposed to the psychological perception changes that are caused by higher doses. - I might even be fooling myself with that consideration.

Anyhow, I don't want to be a downer. Just something to consider as it has been my own experience with the relationship between my depression and my psychedelic use.
As I say often,
Taking psychedelics is far more about the time off of them than it is on them.
If you use them too heavily as a crutch, you might find a systemic weakness developing.


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OfflineSilhouette
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Eclipse3130]
    #26466857 - 02/03/20 01:54 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Eclipse3130 said:
Let go of the old you and embrace the new you :smile: you are restored.




This.

Honestly the best thing to cure depression is to figure out what is the root of the depression.

For me for instance, I was the longest time misdiagnosed with so many wrong things before I found out what was truly "wrong" (I don't like saying that) but before determining what the problem was.

Second, I found out a lot of it had to do with my past. Acceptance is key here. You can't change the past.

Right now, I'm working on fixing my life that I had been breaking apart for the past decade due to everything above. Things get a lot better though once you embrace life with serenity and realize you can't change everything.



Just do what you can to make yourself better from this point on.


--------------------
"I'm doing a hundred on the highway. So if you do the speed limit, get the fuck outta my way." -- Christopher Brian Bridges

:mushroom2: Love for all. :heartpump:

33Cskr63NeDiYst4gRTrcNdJjTYSX8tQGc


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Silhouette]
    #26466951 - 02/03/20 02:48 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for the love, guys. Much appreciated. And footpath, I hope you’re wrong, but it is something I considered often in the past; some of my highs were just, well, too high. But suicidal thoughts were never far away. I’ve gotten through life as the joker, the idiot in the group, the centre of attention. I don’t know why, maybe to deflect people from thinking I’m depressed and therefore lesser.

I hope I’m not overdoing it, tripping now at two week intervals, 3.8g cubensis. It is starting to feel........OTT........ I’ve been there many years ago; too much consciousness expansion can be detrimental to your mental well being. So if it gets anywhere near there, I’ll tone it down. It’s just that with this rigid calendar of forthrightly trips, I am finding so much enjoyment in life, and in the trips, that I don’t want to slow down just yet.

It’s all a balance, i suppose. I think Alan Watts said; “when you’ve got the message, hang up the phone.” So when I feel I’m done with psychedelics, there’ll be no trauma. If that makes sense.

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26468003 - 02/04/20 07:19 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I hear ya on that. Definitely did the same, myself. Instead of the jokester, just being the 'cool quiet guy' - on the outside I was calm and took everything in stride like nothing could ever bother me, on the inside I was in constant turmoil festering in my past and being plagued with anxiety about the now and the future. (Almost) No one was the wiser, and, other than the constant self-bombardment, I therefore didn't have to be confronted with it.

Psychs were pinnacle in helping me through that - helping me to actually reach that quiet that I had always portrayed.
But there's always the tendency for that dormant turmoil to boil up and start wreaking havoc over my sound perspective. While I've rationalized and accepted the things that have plagued me, I have to keep keen to the fact that I have to coexist with them. If I find myself too oblivious to them, I'll almost certainly have a bout when they blindside me because they've compounded too much for the manic vault to contain them. And sometimes it's the psychedelics that lock the door to that vault.

Now, maybe I'm just a different kind of troubled, but I think when I'm happiest is when I'm conscious. Conscious of all of my facets and able to put them in their appropriate places. If I try to use the old me/new me mentality, rest assured the old me will come kick new me in my new nuts from time to time. The past is the past - it'll always resonate and, while we don't have to let it keep us from growing, we do have to grow with the impressions that it's made on us.

Again, just giving my own perspective/experience with it which may be totally different from anyone else's.
Definitely not trying to say that you shouldn't ride out what brings you happiness.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: footpath]
    #26468167 - 02/04/20 09:46 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for sharing, footpath. As this thread has developed, I’ve become convinced that I have actually defeated the depression. My nervousness is around this “new me”; it’s a new concept to me having been depressed for so many years.

I was particularly keen to try psychedelics because of my past experiences with them in my early 20s, and given the current research. But now I’m actually here, I’m in no hurry to run away from mushrooms in particular; they are giving me so many other benefits, even those trips where you don’t seem to learn anything, just come down with a feeling of awe and satisfaction, for n evening well spent.

Love back at ya,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflinePrimalSoup
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26468769 - 02/04/20 03:48 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Mmm, I can't agree that depression "is a choice".  Since I've suffered from bipolar 2 most of my life, mushrooms were a godsend.  They literally reset the depressive cycle back to the other side.  And my cycling was as predictable as the seasons.

So I don't know about clinical depression, for which talk therapy proves about as successful as anything else (no haters please) but for bipolar there is NO escaping the body cycle.  Though I have found omega-3 supplements effective, but what they do is level it out while leaving everything else intact.  Mushrooms return me to the peak and leave me there, every time I have them.  And I've tripped over a thousand times so far. :crazy2:

Exercise is also a major key, and (again) about as effective as other therapeutic routines.  Not low level though that helps, but getting really fit.  And if you want the absolute most out of mushrooms as well, you'll find exercise is the key. :cookiemonster:


--------------------

if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: PrimalSoup]
    #26469967 - 02/05/20 09:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Maybe that lesson from the mushrooms was specific to me and to my depression, Primal Soup? Up until I started anti-depressants (2009 - 2016), I was an obsessive exerciser! Muay Thai 6 days a week , and 200-300 miles a week on my bike! With hindsight it was for the endorphins! But I really need to get back to some sort of regular exercise again, great advice 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26469993 - 02/05/20 10:03 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Primal's got the idea.
Along with nourishment/hydration, exercise really is clutch to maintain positivity.

On top of it all, I've got systemic issues from lyme disease and its co-infections. That pushes my depression over the top because my body gets out of shape really quickly if I don't maintain a routine. Arthritis/synovitis symptoms mixed with chemical and logical depression/bipolarism = fuck this shit.

There's a lot to be said about taking care of the animal of yourself. Sometimes 'being human' really gets in the way of life.


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OfflinePrimalSoup
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26470435 - 02/05/20 02:46 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Maybe that lesson from the mushrooms was specific to me and to my depression, Primal Soup? Up until I started anti-depressants (2009 - 2016), I was an obsessive exerciser! Muay Thai 6 days a week , and 200-300 miles a week on my bike! With hindsight it was for the endorphins! But I really need to get back to some sort of regular exercise again, great advice 👍🏻




Yeah, I like me some endorphins as well. :lol:

I'm going to be tripping huge amounts this summer but I'm getting prepared for it now by upping my exercise routine significantly.  The good part is, though, that tripping for me potentiates exercise really well.


--------------------

if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: PrimalSoup] * 1
    #26470449 - 02/05/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I like what I’m hearing. I’m feeling inspired to get back into it. Can only reap positive rewards, on every level.

Love at ya, PS ❤️

DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineOrioncat
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26471545 - 02/06/20 06:31 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quite possibly. I'm not so sure psychedelics cure depression. I am certain that they help you manage it. If you're depressed because of an external problem, then that would be different. One simply addresses the problem. However, if you're depressed because there is a chemical imbalance in your brain, then that is a biological issue that becomes much harder to address. This is all my opinion of course but I think you're on the right track. You're making a very good effort to better your mindset and that's the best anyone can do. There is a network of psychologists who are very open to psychedelic therapy and a lot of them will work with you over skype or other internet video service. I've looked into something like that for myself. Here's a link: https://psychedelic.support/  also try  https://hopkinspsychedelic.org/depressionstudy ;

Best of luck. Remember, "being" instead of "doing".


--------------------
Things I've learned so far:

Death with consciousness can be boring. Balance is important. Set intentions, not expectations. Sad trips can be helpful as well as challenging trips. Stick with your first dose. We learn more when we listen rather than speak. Be kind. The small moments in life that tend to go unnoticed are sometimes the most beautiful.


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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Orioncat]
    #26471759 - 02/06/20 09:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Absolutely, OrionCat, being not doing. Thank you for the links 👍🏻

The first link is not bringing back any hits for the UK 🙁, but you’ve now inspired me to actively seek out a therapist, rather than just keep talking about how much I am missing a psychedelic therapist for my trips!

Mush love,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinezenarrow
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477665 - 02/09/20 09:18 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I liken the rebirth to a snow globe.

Still the same person, but things that have settled for a long time have suddenly been disturbed and now the new reality and enlightenment slowly settles, and I am a new man.

Same globe, I don't preach on high, in fact I change by not changing at all.

I feel and acknowledge the change, but to the external world I appear the same.


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OfflineMetallica93
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477885 - 02/10/20 01:48 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:Check out the new Gwyneth Paltrow The Goop Lab show on Netflix. The first episode is about mushrooms, and they interview one girl who has microdosed for 6 years. I found it really informative, though the BBC in the Uk has slated it for spreading dangerous misinformation.......yep, the establishment are still spreading their lies about psychedelics! It’s now scientific fact, FFS....




This is the first I'm hearing about it and now I'm livid that Netflix actually gave her a bigger platform to push her pseudo-scientific bullshit. Mushrooms being featured on that show is not a good thing as it hinders the hard work and progress that actual researchers, test subjects, and even self-medicating people like ourselves have made to make psilocybin a viable alternative, very much like marijuana is now. The BBC is entirely correct to label it as spreading dangerous information (psychics, energy crystals, vaginal steaming; the list is fucking extensive). Don't blame "the establishment" when they are wholly within their right to defend the average idiot from themselves.

I can't imagine living with this for 45 years, though (I'm only 26 and struggling enough, as it is), so I say enjoy what you have. Tests have come back that the effect of a trip can last upwards of a few months and that's all I need. If bi-weekly does it, for you, then go get 'em.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Metallica93]
    #26477889 - 02/10/20 02:01 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah I get the message now. It’s easy I suppose to blame the establishment.

Yeah, I’m now on a break from mushrooms. My last trip was of no benefit, so I think now I need an extended spell of integration, and let the psychedelics take a back seat for a while 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineMetallica93
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477906 - 02/10/20 02:33 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Yeah I get the message now. It’s easy I suppose to blame the establishment.

Yeah, I’m now on a break from mushrooms. My last trip was of no benefit, so I think now I need an extended spell of integration, and let the psychedelics take a back seat for a while 👍🏻





It's always easier to speak than it is to act, but that's why we vote. Those who don't are content living in a system that doesn't speak for them and that shit is frightening to think about. No way in hell I'd ever willingly put someone in office who didn't think that drugs like psilocybin and ketamine should be kept from being studied.

Good to hear! I'd say, if you can, try to hold off for 2-3 months, but attempt to track your mood and your thoughts over that time. In the end, you're really the only one who can tell if he's happier or not. Go forth and live life!


Edited by Metallica93 (02/10/20 02:34 AM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Metallica93]
    #26477915 - 02/10/20 02:53 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Cheers, Metallica93. I reached a “not depressed” state after a trip in Nov 2018, after which I did not trip and my mood was positive for 11 months. I am going to abstain from mushrooms, but not for 11 months this time; once I feel the call, I’ll dose again, rather than wait for the low moods to return (if they do, that is, this time).

Cheers
DJ ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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