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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: UmbraSprite]
    #26466543 - 02/03/20 09:47 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah, from a suicidal thoughts perspective, I am no longer clinically depressed. Thoughts of suicide stopped once the SSRIs kicked in. So I do not advocate that SSRIs are bad, as they saved my life, quite literally. But I advise people to please only consider them as a very short term fix. There is no data on the effects of SSRIs for long term use, so we don’t know what problems we as a society are storing up. I still haven’t got a proper appetite back after nearly 4 years off SSRIs, for example, and still haven’t returned to the same levels of exercise as pre-SSRIs. The reason for the OP was that after approx 45 years, I’m not sure what “not being depressed” feels like. It does sound like I’m out of the woods.....

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: 330ci]
    #26466560 - 02/03/20 09:56 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey 330ci,

I’ve used the ski slope analogy since I heard it in a Rosalind Watts YouTube discussion of the psilocybin studies at imperial. The following night I took all her advice from that video and dosed with 4.1g. The mushrooms taught me a fundamental lesson, tha t now I’ve received loads of helpful posts here has convinced me I’ve “cracked it”! That is, that depression is a choice.

That trip was Nov 2018, and I woke up no longer choosing to be depressed. That stayed with me until Oct 2019, when after a couple of months of real sh1t at work, I felt the lows starting to return. So I started tripping again, but at lower more frequent doses, and I’ve gotten rid of the lows again. But because I enjoy tripping so much, even though I am no longer clinically depressed, I will not be abstaining from mushrooms again! No rather, I’ll be maintaining discipline ✊🏻

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: UmbraSprite]
    #26466566 - 02/03/20 10:02 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Hey one other thing, UmbraSprite,

Agree with the lack of details on the studies, but possibly that’s deliberate, to stop the public spoiling things again!

I now have the Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Study playlist on. Spotify. But what I am lacking is the before, during, and after guides. Once I’m in the middle of the trip, it is very hard not to just go with the flow; if there was a guide there, instructing you where to go,  I can see that being so much more effective!

My wife hasn’t tripped, and really doesn’t seem to understand the psychedelic headspace, so I fear she would be no use as a guide. Having said that, I’m getting 2 week afterglows, that are simply awesome. I seem to remember Robin Carhart-Harris once saying 2 week intervals should be considered for depression patients, to maintain said afterglow.......

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26466830 - 02/03/20 01:37 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

So, one thing to consider is the possibility of mania after taking psychedelics for their counteraction of depression.
Of course, not everyone is manic depressive, but it's easily misdiagnosed and sometimes it's hard to personally establish a line between 'normal', manic, and depressed. And whether or not that 'normal' is actually a swing a bit too high. It's also pretty obvious that psychedelics can cause acute mania, even in those who are not depressed.
From my own experience, it's quite easy to not recognize that your head is in the clouds when habitually taking psychedelics for extended periods.
I'll omit sub-perceptive µdosing from that because it seems quite obviously chemically balancing as opposed to the psychological perception changes that are caused by higher doses. - I might even be fooling myself with that consideration.

Anyhow, I don't want to be a downer. Just something to consider as it has been my own experience with the relationship between my depression and my psychedelic use.
As I say often,
Taking psychedelics is far more about the time off of them than it is on them.
If you use them too heavily as a crutch, you might find a systemic weakness developing.


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OfflineSilhouette
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Eclipse3130]
    #26466857 - 02/03/20 01:54 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Eclipse3130 said:
Let go of the old you and embrace the new you :smile: you are restored.




This.

Honestly the best thing to cure depression is to figure out what is the root of the depression.

For me for instance, I was the longest time misdiagnosed with so many wrong things before I found out what was truly "wrong" (I don't like saying that) but before determining what the problem was.

Second, I found out a lot of it had to do with my past. Acceptance is key here. You can't change the past.

Right now, I'm working on fixing my life that I had been breaking apart for the past decade due to everything above. Things get a lot better though once you embrace life with serenity and realize you can't change everything.



Just do what you can to make yourself better from this point on.


--------------------
"I'm doing a hundred on the highway. So if you do the speed limit, get the fuck outta my way." -- Christopher Brian Bridges

:mushroom2: Love for all. :heartpump:

33Cskr63NeDiYst4gRTrcNdJjTYSX8tQGc


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Silhouette]
    #26466951 - 02/03/20 02:48 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for the love, guys. Much appreciated. And footpath, I hope you’re wrong, but it is something I considered often in the past; some of my highs were just, well, too high. But suicidal thoughts were never far away. I’ve gotten through life as the joker, the idiot in the group, the centre of attention. I don’t know why, maybe to deflect people from thinking I’m depressed and therefore lesser.

I hope I’m not overdoing it, tripping now at two week intervals, 3.8g cubensis. It is starting to feel........OTT........ I’ve been there many years ago; too much consciousness expansion can be detrimental to your mental well being. So if it gets anywhere near there, I’ll tone it down. It’s just that with this rigid calendar of forthrightly trips, I am finding so much enjoyment in life, and in the trips, that I don’t want to slow down just yet.

It’s all a balance, i suppose. I think Alan Watts said; “when you’ve got the message, hang up the phone.” So when I feel I’m done with psychedelics, there’ll be no trauma. If that makes sense.

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26468003 - 02/04/20 07:19 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I hear ya on that. Definitely did the same, myself. Instead of the jokester, just being the 'cool quiet guy' - on the outside I was calm and took everything in stride like nothing could ever bother me, on the inside I was in constant turmoil festering in my past and being plagued with anxiety about the now and the future. (Almost) No one was the wiser, and, other than the constant self-bombardment, I therefore didn't have to be confronted with it.

Psychs were pinnacle in helping me through that - helping me to actually reach that quiet that I had always portrayed.
But there's always the tendency for that dormant turmoil to boil up and start wreaking havoc over my sound perspective. While I've rationalized and accepted the things that have plagued me, I have to keep keen to the fact that I have to coexist with them. If I find myself too oblivious to them, I'll almost certainly have a bout when they blindside me because they've compounded too much for the manic vault to contain them. And sometimes it's the psychedelics that lock the door to that vault.

Now, maybe I'm just a different kind of troubled, but I think when I'm happiest is when I'm conscious. Conscious of all of my facets and able to put them in their appropriate places. If I try to use the old me/new me mentality, rest assured the old me will come kick new me in my new nuts from time to time. The past is the past - it'll always resonate and, while we don't have to let it keep us from growing, we do have to grow with the impressions that it's made on us.

Again, just giving my own perspective/experience with it which may be totally different from anyone else's.
Definitely not trying to say that you shouldn't ride out what brings you happiness.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: footpath]
    #26468167 - 02/04/20 09:46 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for sharing, footpath. As this thread has developed, I’ve become convinced that I have actually defeated the depression. My nervousness is around this “new me”; it’s a new concept to me having been depressed for so many years.

I was particularly keen to try psychedelics because of my past experiences with them in my early 20s, and given the current research. But now I’m actually here, I’m in no hurry to run away from mushrooms in particular; they are giving me so many other benefits, even those trips where you don’t seem to learn anything, just come down with a feeling of awe and satisfaction, for n evening well spent.

Love back at ya,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflinePrimalSoup
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26468769 - 02/04/20 03:48 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Mmm, I can't agree that depression "is a choice".  Since I've suffered from bipolar 2 most of my life, mushrooms were a godsend.  They literally reset the depressive cycle back to the other side.  And my cycling was as predictable as the seasons.

So I don't know about clinical depression, for which talk therapy proves about as successful as anything else (no haters please) but for bipolar there is NO escaping the body cycle.  Though I have found omega-3 supplements effective, but what they do is level it out while leaving everything else intact.  Mushrooms return me to the peak and leave me there, every time I have them.  And I've tripped over a thousand times so far. :crazy2:

Exercise is also a major key, and (again) about as effective as other therapeutic routines.  Not low level though that helps, but getting really fit.  And if you want the absolute most out of mushrooms as well, you'll find exercise is the key. :cookiemonster:


--------------------

if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: PrimalSoup]
    #26469967 - 02/05/20 09:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Maybe that lesson from the mushrooms was specific to me and to my depression, Primal Soup? Up until I started anti-depressants (2009 - 2016), I was an obsessive exerciser! Muay Thai 6 days a week , and 200-300 miles a week on my bike! With hindsight it was for the endorphins! But I really need to get back to some sort of regular exercise again, great advice 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinefootpath
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26469993 - 02/05/20 10:03 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Primal's got the idea.
Along with nourishment/hydration, exercise really is clutch to maintain positivity.

On top of it all, I've got systemic issues from lyme disease and its co-infections. That pushes my depression over the top because my body gets out of shape really quickly if I don't maintain a routine. Arthritis/synovitis symptoms mixed with chemical and logical depression/bipolarism = fuck this shit.

There's a lot to be said about taking care of the animal of yourself. Sometimes 'being human' really gets in the way of life.


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OfflinePrimalSoup
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26470435 - 02/05/20 02:46 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Maybe that lesson from the mushrooms was specific to me and to my depression, Primal Soup? Up until I started anti-depressants (2009 - 2016), I was an obsessive exerciser! Muay Thai 6 days a week , and 200-300 miles a week on my bike! With hindsight it was for the endorphins! But I really need to get back to some sort of regular exercise again, great advice 👍🏻




Yeah, I like me some endorphins as well. :lol:

I'm going to be tripping huge amounts this summer but I'm getting prepared for it now by upping my exercise routine significantly.  The good part is, though, that tripping for me potentiates exercise really well.


--------------------

if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: PrimalSoup] * 1
    #26470449 - 02/05/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I like what I’m hearing. I’m feeling inspired to get back into it. Can only reap positive rewards, on every level.

Love at ya, PS ❤️

DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineOrioncat
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26471545 - 02/06/20 06:31 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quite possibly. I'm not so sure psychedelics cure depression. I am certain that they help you manage it. If you're depressed because of an external problem, then that would be different. One simply addresses the problem. However, if you're depressed because there is a chemical imbalance in your brain, then that is a biological issue that becomes much harder to address. This is all my opinion of course but I think you're on the right track. You're making a very good effort to better your mindset and that's the best anyone can do. There is a network of psychologists who are very open to psychedelic therapy and a lot of them will work with you over skype or other internet video service. I've looked into something like that for myself. Here's a link: https://psychedelic.support/&nbsp; also try  https://hopkinspsychedelic.org/depressionstudy ;

Best of luck. Remember, "being" instead of "doing".


--------------------
Things I've learned so far:

Death with consciousness can be boring. Balance is important. Set intentions, not expectations. Sad trips can be helpful as well as challenging trips. Stick with your first dose. We learn more when we listen rather than speak. Be kind. The small moments in life that tend to go unnoticed are sometimes the most beautiful.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Orioncat]
    #26471759 - 02/06/20 09:44 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Absolutely, OrionCat, being not doing. Thank you for the links 👍🏻

The first link is not bringing back any hits for the UK 🙁, but you’ve now inspired me to actively seek out a therapist, rather than just keep talking about how much I am missing a psychedelic therapist for my trips!

Mush love,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinezenarrow
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477665 - 02/09/20 09:18 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

I liken the rebirth to a snow globe.

Still the same person, but things that have settled for a long time have suddenly been disturbed and now the new reality and enlightenment slowly settles, and I am a new man.

Same globe, I don't preach on high, in fact I change by not changing at all.

I feel and acknowledge the change, but to the external world I appear the same.


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OfflineMetallica93
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477885 - 02/10/20 01:48 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:Check out the new Gwyneth Paltrow The Goop Lab show on Netflix. The first episode is about mushrooms, and they interview one girl who has microdosed for 6 years. I found it really informative, though the BBC in the Uk has slated it for spreading dangerous misinformation.......yep, the establishment are still spreading their lies about psychedelics! It’s now scientific fact, FFS....




This is the first I'm hearing about it and now I'm livid that Netflix actually gave her a bigger platform to push her pseudo-scientific bullshit. Mushrooms being featured on that show is not a good thing as it hinders the hard work and progress that actual researchers, test subjects, and even self-medicating people like ourselves have made to make psilocybin a viable alternative, very much like marijuana is now. The BBC is entirely correct to label it as spreading dangerous information (psychics, energy crystals, vaginal steaming; the list is fucking extensive). Don't blame "the establishment" when they are wholly within their right to defend the average idiot from themselves.

I can't imagine living with this for 45 years, though (I'm only 26 and struggling enough, as it is), so I say enjoy what you have. Tests have come back that the effect of a trip can last upwards of a few months and that's all I need. If bi-weekly does it, for you, then go get 'em.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Metallica93]
    #26477889 - 02/10/20 02:01 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah I get the message now. It’s easy I suppose to blame the establishment.

Yeah, I’m now on a break from mushrooms. My last trip was of no benefit, so I think now I need an extended spell of integration, and let the psychedelics take a back seat for a while 👍🏻


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineMetallica93
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26477906 - 02/10/20 02:33 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Yeah I get the message now. It’s easy I suppose to blame the establishment.

Yeah, I’m now on a break from mushrooms. My last trip was of no benefit, so I think now I need an extended spell of integration, and let the psychedelics take a back seat for a while 👍🏻





It's always easier to speak than it is to act, but that's why we vote. Those who don't are content living in a system that doesn't speak for them and that shit is frightening to think about. No way in hell I'd ever willingly put someone in office who didn't think that drugs like psilocybin and ketamine should be kept from being studied.

Good to hear! I'd say, if you can, try to hold off for 2-3 months, but attempt to track your mood and your thoughts over that time. In the end, you're really the only one who can tell if he's happier or not. Go forth and live life!


Edited by Metallica93 (02/10/20 02:34 AM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Am I still depressed? [Re: Metallica93]
    #26477915 - 02/10/20 02:53 AM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Cheers, Metallica93. I reached a “not depressed” state after a trip in Nov 2018, after which I did not trip and my mood was positive for 11 months. I am going to abstain from mushrooms, but not for 11 months this time; once I feel the call, I’ll dose again, rather than wait for the low moods to return (if they do, that is, this time).

Cheers
DJ ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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