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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 17 minutes
Tell me your funny childhood memories. * 1
    #26443752 - 01/20/20 07:31 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

You were a kid once.  Tell me something about it!

Here's one of mine:

When I was maybe 10 years old, my mom went to the store owned for a few hours and me and my friend decided to use the stove to fry up some bacon.  We didn't know anything about cooking.  We were wondering whether you need to butter the pan before adding the slices of bacon or just putting bacon directly on the  pan.  Out of fear of burning a pan (which we thought that my mom would have to  buy a new pan), we decided to butter the pan...

We melted a quarter pound butter before adding in the bacon...

We ate 8000 calories each.


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OfflineNewbieS
User of semicolons.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Patlal]
    #26443757 - 01/20/20 07:36 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

When we were kids my little brother was having trouble pooping and my mom told him, "You're probably constipated."

He asked me what that meant, you know, me being the trusting older brother and all.  I told him that it meant his butthole closed up forever.  He was like, "Oh"  then just kinda dropped it.

Later that night we hear him BAWLING in his room.  My mom ran into his room and I hear, "What's the matter??!"

*SOB* "I don't want my butthole to close up!!!"

"What???  ....... NEWBIE!!!!!"

:rofl:


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InvisibleFiery
Sword of Fire
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Registered: 12/24/12
Posts: 36,574
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Patlal]
    #26443776 - 01/20/20 07:51 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

I was sitting on the swing of a giant magnolia tree. I am so blessed I know.


But my dad showed me where it was tearing up the foundation of our family home.


He also offered me a sip of the "yucko juice"



I was like 7 or 6.


THe tree was taken down , and when we found a birds nest in the rubble, he tried to explain to me that it was heaven that brought the tree down, and that the dead birds would go to the grave.


As an immediate medic I'm called to such situations as this. I saw the little bird. A blue one.


He told me to go inside and play.


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Invisiblelavod
Seal Whisperer
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Newbie] * 1
    #26443780 - 01/20/20 07:52 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

One ov my earliest memories is me sitting on the floor playing with toys near a poop recently left by one ov the chihuahuas, when my mom comes to sit with me right on top ov the poop.  She got up and walked away with it smushed to her backside unbeknownst. 

The great stuck ov '94.  Rushing to get out ov school, i got righteously stuck in the doorway along with 3 other kids in a perfectly timed synchronous scrunch.


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OfflinePsilosopherr
A psilly goose
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Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: lavod]
    #26443788 - 01/20/20 07:57 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

this one time my little sister was givin me lip so I drowned her in the pool and totally got away with it


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 30 minutes, 53 seconds
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Psilosopherr] * 1
    #26443814 - 01/20/20 08:11 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

When I was a little kid I went with my dad to the bank drive thru and when he went to put thing in suction thing it sucked his whole damn arm up and sucked him half way out the window. One of the funniest things ive ever seen.


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26443836 - 01/20/20 08:24 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

I was 13 and my friend and I decided to drink my parents alcohol and get drunk for the first time.


We ended up stealing a bottle of their non-alcoholic green-apple cocktail mixer instead of actual alcohol and both just acted like we were super drunk and hungover the next day. Pretty sure that's an actual plot for an episode of Bob's Burgers. Soooo lame.

Also one time, I had this summer project where I had to create an insect display(like with actual dead bugs). My family went to Central America that year for vacation, and there were these huge crazy looking caterpillars with giant stingers on their butts that I thought would be perfect for it. I caught them and was all set to try and bring them back to the states(which obviously is very, very, very illegal, but I was like 12 at the time).

My dad found my stash of caterpillars at the airport and was like 'fuck no', and we dumped 'em before we got on the plane and caused a shit load of ecological devastation, or ended up detained in customs.


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OfflineRumblefishtwist
Cyber Bully
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Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1,040
Loc: Universe
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26443898 - 01/20/20 09:01 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Man, God damn.  I am 31, and the theme of late for most anyone my age +/- i nostalgia.  I really fucking miss the 90's.  You know, I have partially dedicated my life to reliving the 90's?  I have some good stories, one that pops out:


Being like 9 years old, we were all skaters.  And sneaking into my neighbors "cooler older brothers" bedroom who was the 'good skater'... It was like the fucking spy mission of the century God dammit.  What did we find?  Porn mags with scratch n' sniff dick and vag shit, Camel cigarettes, and a 50-100w solid-state Peavey guitar amp with the OG Peavey amp logo(if you remember the OG Peavey logo's you know what i'm talking about) that was completely hardcore and fucking impression leaving.  RATM posters, and dirty unwashed clothing littering the whole room.


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InvisibleFiery
Sword of Fire
Other User Gallery

Registered: 12/24/12
Posts: 36,574
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Rumblefishtwist]
    #26443907 - 01/20/20 09:06 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Tupac wrote stories from his childhood. It's brilliant.                 


Quote:

Fiery said:
But I said I love you. I said I love you

I heard it over and over.





Also what the  with kissing.


Is that like the way people communicate.




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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26443919 - 01/20/20 09:13 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
I was 13 and my friend and I decided to drink my parents alcohol and get drunk for the first time.


We ended up stealing a bottle of their non-alcoholic green-apple cocktail mixer instead of actual alcohol and both just acted like we were super drunk and hungover the next day. Pretty sure that's an actual plot for an episode of Bob's Burgers. Soooo lame.

Also one time, I had this summer project where I had to create an insect display(like with actual dead bugs). My family went to Central America that year for vacation, and there were these huge crazy looking caterpillars with giant stingers on their butts that I thought would be perfect for it. I caught them and was all set to try and bring them back to the states(which obviously is very, very, very illegal, but I was like 12 at the time).

My dad found my stash of caterpillars at the airport and was like 'fuck no', and we dumped 'em before we got on the plane and caused a shit load of ecological devastation, or ended up detained in customs.




Omg is it really you or are my eyes playing tricks on me

Some of us thought you left the shroomery behind forever

Good to see ya pirate


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26443927 - 01/20/20 09:15 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

No it's an imposter.



How's life? :wave:


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #26443932 - 01/20/20 09:17 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Anyway my best story is when I was in pre-kindergarten, and even though this was some 3 decades plus ago I still can remember it pretty vividly -- it was my very first day there and I needed to pee. Badly. Like I was about to explode.

So I ran to the teacher in a panic and said that I need to pee super bad. She then replied, "okay go ahead".

Somehow I interpreted that answer to mean that it was okay to go right then and there. In the room. All over my leg.

And I did.

:barbershreds:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26443939 - 01/20/20 09:19 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
No it's an imposter.



How's life? :wave:




Not too bad I guess. Could be better -- could be worse.

How about yourself, whatcha been doing all this time you've been MIA


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleFiery
Sword of Fire
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Registered: 12/24/12
Posts: 36,574
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Niffla]
    #26443948 - 01/20/20 09:22 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

I remember that  I wanted a girl. ]]]\\\\



Her name was Kate.


I did everything that I could to love her but it was gone.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26443954 - 01/20/20 09:25 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Awww, that's understandable but also mortifying for a kid.

That reminds me of the story I forgot to get off the bus at school. I was a bit older than that. Like 7 or 8 - too old for it to be like, understandable. I was just laying down on the bus seat, watching the clouds, and totally spaced out and forgot to get up, even though everyone filed off like they were supposed to. My older brother was on the bus and totally fucking ignored me. I didn't realize it till we were down the street, and I was so scared that I hid, and accidentally scared the shit out of the nice lady bus driver when she went to go check the seats(for lost possessions) after we made it to the bus station.

I remember the librarian came out to greet me when after I got driven back to school, and I was just so embarrassed and ashamed.
Quote:

Niffla said:


Quote:

pirate-blues said:
No it's an imposter.



How's life? :wave:




Not too bad I guess. Could be better -- could be worse.

How about yourself, whatcha been doing all this time you've been MIA






Samesies.

I've been working a lot, traveling a lot for work, getting the shit kicked out of me by all that. I just moved a little ways away to go back to school this year, so it's a new(ish) start. Did some mushrooms for the first time in several years on NYE, and remembered a part of myself I lost along the way, and decided to come back!


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26443992 - 01/20/20 09:53 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:

That reminds me of the story I forgot to get off the bus at school. I was a bit older than that. Like 7 or 8 - too old for it to be like, understandable. I was just laying down on the bus seat, watching the clouds, and totally spaced out and forgot to get up, even though everyone filed off like they were supposed to. My older brother was on the bus and totally fucking ignored me. I didn't realize it till we were down the street, and I was so scared that I hid, and accidentally scared the shit out of the nice lady bus driver when she went to go check the seats(for lost possessions) after we made it to the bus station.

I remember the librarian came out to greet me when after I got driven back to school, and I was just so embarrassed and ashamed.




I could definitely see how that could happen though. It's so easy to get distracted when you're at that age. I bet it was pretty frightening though when you realized that everybody in the bus was gone.


Quote:

pirate-blues said:

Did some mushrooms for the first time in several years on NYE, and remembered a part of myself I lost along the way, and decided to come back!




There was a thread a little while back that was mentioning posters that seemingly just left and we were all talking about posters we missed and your name came up. I'm happy to see you back as I'm sure many other posters will be too.

How was the NYE trip by the way?


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26443998 - 01/20/20 09:58 PM (4 years, 8 days ago)

It was okay. It was mostly just a body high, but I wasn't expecting to take mushrooms at all to begin with, and was pretty drunk already so it ended about as well as it could :lol:. It was a really great night all in all though, super good vibes, all around. I've got another, bigger, better trip planned for the near future though :evil:.


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Invisibleazzbo

Registered: 07/14/15
Posts: 1,311
Loc: Flag
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #26444143 - 01/21/20 12:51 AM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Found one of those high-tech gas camping stoves and brought it home. One night I got the bright idea to cook eggs and bacon in my bedroom, the fire alarm went off, so I put the pan down on the floor and went to deal with the alarm. The pan burnt a giant black circle right through my carpet and my dad confiscated my camping stove. I was fucking gutted!!!


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InvisibleCrazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/15/16
Posts: 13,283
Loc: Hampsterdam
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. [Re: Patlal]
    #26444465 - 01/21/20 08:51 AM (4 years, 8 days ago)

I brought home a bunch of dogs. It must have been more than six. :shrug:
My dad ditched them in the car.


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InvisiblePhantom45
Traveler
Male

Registered: 06/08/19
Posts: 188
Re: Tell me your funny childhood memories. *DELETED* [Re: Crazy_Horse]
    #26444546 - 01/21/20 09:54 AM (4 years, 8 days ago)

Post deleted by Phantom45

Reason for deletion: .


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