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heavenlybliss
Stranger

Registered: 09/16/19
Posts: 18
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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8 grams that kicked my ass
#26441736 - 01/19/20 01:48 PM (4 years, 10 days ago) |
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So,
Two days ago I decided to take some mushrooms again. Homegrown golden teacher cubes, 8 grams dried lemon tek'd, washed down with apple juice. I know 8 grams is a bit much but they were the same shrooms I felt were a bit weak, maybe due to bad grow or something. The last time I took mushrooms I took 4 grams which didn't do much to my surprise. I had not eaten in 12 hours prior to the trip and had slept a good solid 9 hours the night before.
After about 20min I started noticing the first effects: yawning, lights looked a bit noisy and all sounds coming from outside my apartment got louder. Nothing too weird so far.
When I hit the 40min mark I started to get increasingly anxious, so much so I just wanted to collapse on the floor and start crying. I felt like I had made a huge mistake somehow, like I accidentally dosed way more than 8 grams. I managed to get onto my bed and put on headphones to listen to some calming music.
It didn't take much longer than 10 minutes after crawling onto the bed I got taken over by this primal fear of death. I was convinced I was going to die and my girlfriend would have to call an ambulance to take my corpse away. How could I have done something like this to her? To my family? To my friends? Dying of drugs, what would they think of me? I fought the feeling for a while and all kinds of horror scenarios raced through my mind.
The trip was getting more intense and I was so tired of resisting my death I decided to let go. Can't feel worse than this, right? The whole room was squirming and shaking, the room I thought was familiar was anything but. I pulled the blanket on top of my face so I couldn't see the room at all. It was totally dark. Vivid visuals started flashing behind my eyelids.
I soon realized I was in a huge cathedral looking space, lots of pillars yet no ceiling. Instead there were stars and planets and a huge vortex-like thing. In the middle of the room was a massive throne on which sat something I can only describe as "the goddess of everything". She was connected to everything in the universe via these tree branches or something. Like a computer made out of living things.
The way she looked is hard to describe. Whenever I tried to look directly at her it felt like I could not comprehend what I was seeing, like it was way too much for any human to understand. She had human features yet somehow felt totally alien. She spoke to me but the language was like it was all languages that ever existed. And there was no sound, it was more like a telepathic thing. I have a hard time remembering the message but I started to cry, I felt so humbled in front of such love and beauty. The one thing I do remember was that she told me I'm on a right path in my life. I have made some big changes in the past 6 months and probably was a bit unsure if it was the right path for me. Now I know. What she told next still feel meaningful but I have a really hard time remembering it.
She then told me there was no point of hiding from the beauty around me and said our time together was now over and I would have to return to my reality. I opened my eyes only to notice everything in my bedroom was so beautiful I couldn't help but to laugh hysterically while shedding a few tears. The visuals were strong but not nearly as scary like before I closed my eyes. I ate an orange and it was the best thing I have ever tasted. It was so good I was convinced the lesson of the trip had to be "eat more oranges."
I just listened to music for the rest of my trip, apart from a short walk outside during the comedown. Went to bed and slept better than in months. woke up to a stress free morning.
A trip that started real shitty turned out to be one of the most mind blowing experiences ever. I feel like I don't have to trip for a while, lol.
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AroundtheSon
Learning to See



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
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Aw. Glad they still do their thing for people. Cheers!!!!
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 1 hour
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Great trip report, OP!
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  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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Double


Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 796
Loc:
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Great report man
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Great trip report OP 
That feeeling you’re convinced you’re dying gets you every time. You always justify the fear that this time, unlike before, it is actually happening, you are dying.
The part that gets easier with experience is the decision to let go and accept it. The first time takes such bravery, pat yourself on the back.
I love hearing people on here describe how it feels to them: one guy said “it’s like a weight lifts off your shoulders”, another said “the Anxiety comes from not knowing how strong the trip will get so once you feel the peak, you know you’re safe and sigh relief”, and another “it’s when the trip begins...” Add to this list at your discretion  Mush love DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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RyeHumor
MasterProcrastinator



Registered: 02/21/20
Posts: 210
Loc: Yeast Of Knowhere
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Re: 8 grams that kicked my ass [Re: DJ Ed]
#26586279 - 04/08/20 12:40 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Awesome, thanks for sharing.
Gotta say that initial part of your trip is what I dread, and for that reason I suspect I'm going to experience it in my next trip.
Will be doing my best to accept it as you suggested. I've been able to do so in the past so I should be able to again.
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