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OfflineFunky Fingaz
Mystic/urRu

Registered: 12/23/19
Posts: 136
Last seen: 3 months, 29 days
Is my friend overreacting???
    #26439342 - 01/17/20 10:06 PM (4 years, 29 days ago)

So I'm part of this friend group. We are somewhat tight but all in all we are kinda mostly glorified drinking buddies. We mostly spend our time together going to bars, clubs, and meeting at each others houses for pregaming before the we go to the bar or just come over to drink and socialize every now and then.

My friend who I'll call "Chris" whose one of my best friends brought me into this group and introduced me to these people. After some years we made friends with this other guy who I'll call "John". John is also mine and Chris' best friend and has been with our friend group for a little over a year now. On the last day of November 2019 we are throwing a little Friendsgiving party at our friend Theresa's house. At the party John has too much to drink and gets very drunk and loses motor function and begins to trip into a few people and starts becoming rambunctious (starts yelling nonsense and acting foolish and sloppy) and out of hand. This one girl in particular who isn't really a core member of the friend group gets upset that he tripped over her leg and said something crude to her (not sexual or anything), just something that upset her for some reason I'm not sure what it was but it got her upset as hell but then again this chick is known to have a short temper and a real harpy.

Anyway he blacks out and gets booted from the party by Theresa. Chris drove him to the party so he has to take him home now. According to Chris, John was blacked out drunk and was falling over himself walking into his house and was just a sloppy drunk mess. It was the drunkest he had ever seen him in his whole life and I thought he was really stupid drunk too.

Chris was pretty upset at John for this, I was upset too but I kinda understand the fact that we all have been there before. We have all had our bad regrettable nights were we have too much to drink and do stupid shit and make a fool of ourselves and need to be taken home by our friends. I know I have for sure so I understand where John was. Don't get me wrong the behavior was unacceptable and I was upset and told him that can't ever happen again cuz that was just idiotic and embarrassing. I told John it was alright but that he needed to really chill out and that we wouldn't be inviting out for at least a couple of weeks so that the friend group would cool off from the whole debacle.

Chris however was really mad and made it a point to pretty much boot John from the group. We talked and he said he would give it some time and think about it whether he wanted to continue staying friends with John but its been almost 2 months and he still refuses to talk to John and we are at the point were its just becoming awkward as hell. John is in limbo. John is a really good friend of mine and I like him and forgive him for what happened because IMO its not a big deal. Like it happens to the best of us and we all been there. Ending a solid friendship with someone I go way back with over drunken shenanigans and a bad night seems sooo overdramatic. Not to mention Chris has been in the same spot as John many times himself, me and John have both helped his ass when he was blacked out drunk and have been there when he's made a fool of himself like when he threw up in a girl's car on the way home from the bar. Theresa the girl whose house it was and who kicked out John wasn't even upset about the whole incident at the Friendsgiving party and neither was any of our core friends in the group. We all like John but Chris is deadset on having him booted and having none of us have anything to do with him anymore.

Now he's making me choose between him & the group or John. I just think this is ridiculous and I'm just trying to figure out how I can mediate this and reconcile Chris and John.


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 3 days, 1 hour
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz] * 2
    #26439369 - 01/17/20 10:26 PM (4 years, 29 days ago)

This is stupid, fuck groups and people trying to control stuff. Also, who made Chris the boss of everything, kick his ass to the curb.


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InvisibleLophosaurus
suruasohpol
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 8,744
Loc: CA Flag
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz] * 2
    #26439370 - 01/17/20 10:27 PM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Your best friend gets too drunk 1 time and you  punish him for weeks and then stop being friends with him? It seems that he is with friends on a holiday and not with family. Some people have family issues and get extra sad during the holidays or maybe it was just too much too fast. He made a mistake, big deal.

I would rather have no friends than have friends like you guys. Are you guys actually 13 year old girls?


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Invisiblebrk
Unless...
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Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 10,210
Loc: SA Flag
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz]
    #26439384 - 01/17/20 10:36 PM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Why do you have to get them to make up? I have multiple friend groups, and some of my mates have had falling outs in the past. I just hang with them separately, but invite them both to my house when I have drinks.

Maybe they work it out maby they don't. I don't really care as long as they're not dicks to each other at my house. Ime they usually work it out on their own.


--------------------
"To the young it gives a vision of the dead and gone. While the old receive a passion to survive,
and the pattern picks the pockets of the palindrome, before the oscillating rhythm takes to flight..." - Rishloo



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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,068
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: brk] * 1
    #26439541 - 01/18/20 02:32 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Yeah I agree with the above.  As you've said, we all get fucked sometimes, whether from drink or whatever we're going through in life.  A friend is someone who sticks by you through that. 

I'd take one John over a group of Chris any day.  Stick with what you feel, your instincts and conscience sound pretty solid to me.


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OfflineFunky Fingaz
Mystic/urRu

Registered: 12/23/19
Posts: 136
Last seen: 3 months, 29 days
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26439760 - 01/18/20 07:13 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Quote:

Lophosaurus said:
Your best friend gets too drunk 1 time and you  punish him for weeks and then stop being friends with him? It seems that he is with friends on a holiday and not with family. Some people have family issues and get extra sad during the holidays or maybe it was just too much too fast. He made a mistake, big deal.

I would rather have no friends than have friends like you guys. Are you guys actually 13 year old girls?



I’m not the one kicking him out. I told John i was upset with his behavior but that it wasn’t a big deal because ya know it happens sometimes and we all been there and we can’t be that mad over something so trivial and that we all been through. I just told him we probably wouldn’t be inviting him out drinking for a couple of weeks until the group kinda got over the whole thing.

But chris is the one who is so upset because he had to leave the party early to drive him home. And he wants to boot him out of the group for good and wants the rest of the group to cancel him too.

But I’m at the point were I’m genuinely thinking about cutting ties with Chris instead of John. I’ve thought long and hard about this and realize Chris is being really over dramatic and being a real fake ass friend and real prick. Friends don’t just cut each other off over some stupid shit like this nor be drama queens over shit like this. I realize more and more everyday since this happened that Chris is not a friend I want to have if this is how he reacts to something like this let alone treats his supposed best friends. Makes me think if i were in the same spot as John he would do me like this as well.


Edited by Funky Fingaz (01/18/20 07:20 AM)


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
I DID-DENT
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Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,842
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 5 hours, 32 minutes
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz] * 2
    #26439804 - 01/18/20 07:56 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

This reads like a high school musical :underage:


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,726
Loc: Texas
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #26439820 - 01/18/20 08:17 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

This whole situation got me like

:barbershreds:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,726
Loc: Texas
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26439824 - 01/18/20 08:19 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

I admit though I got a soft spot for John and am pulling for him

If he gets let back in the group I'll be like

:innocentjoy:

and

:emotionalmoment:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz] * 1
    #26439834 - 01/18/20 08:28 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Sounds like Chris cares more about having people around while he consumes alcohol than he does the wellbeing of his friends. Were that my friend I'd likely be concerned for him until I saw him next. Like you said OP we've all been there. Not everyone as adults but that's beside the point. I bet Chris thinks he can get it in with harpy girl. Honestly this sounds so trivial. I've got drinking stories for days that put this weak mess to shame. So do many others. Sounds to me that Johnny boy wasn't as much of a loose cannon as your other friend was making it out to be.


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,726
Loc: Texas
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: larry.fisherman] * 1
    #26439858 - 01/18/20 08:47 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

#WeStandWithJohn


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Edited by Niffla (01/18/20 08:48 AM)


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26439876 - 01/18/20 09:06 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

John should show Chris how to call a cab, really sarcastically


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
I DID-DENT
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,842
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 5 hours, 32 minutes
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #26439878 - 01/18/20 09:08 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Or just kick his ass I’ll tell ya h’what!


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,987
Last seen: 13 minutes, 44 seconds
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: theRealrollforever] * 1
    #26439903 - 01/18/20 09:21 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

#freejohn


--------------------
Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,726
Loc: Texas
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26439926 - 01/18/20 09:34 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

#JusticeForJohn


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,987
Last seen: 13 minutes, 44 seconds
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26439942 - 01/18/20 09:51 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

:ilold:


--------------------
Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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OfflineTripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
Male


Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 14 days
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26439944 - 01/18/20 09:51 AM (4 years, 29 days ago)

Yeah that Chris guy sounds like a dick. Tell him to mellow out or fuck off

Also, unless he was downing an entire bottle of hard liquer in one go, you could all have stepped in when John was starting to get overly drunk


--------------------
Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,726
Loc: Texas
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #26442352 - 01/19/20 09:02 PM (4 years, 28 days ago)

How is John doing

The world needs to know


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
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Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,437
Loc: city of angels Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 4 minutes
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: Funky Fingaz] * 1
    #26442449 - 01/19/20 10:44 PM (4 years, 27 days ago)

Without knowing Chris or John, yeah it seems like Chris is blowing this way outta the water.  More importantly, qman's post is poignant.  While social circles are sometimes hard to circumvent; we are all adults and can choose who we want to befriend or otherwise.  If one of our friends doesn't jive with a different friend, you either gotta orchestrate your gatherings accordingly or hope that they're both big enough not to be idiots when they're in the same room together.  Generally speaking, you shouldn't have to choose one friend over another.  In reality, I understand it can be difficult.

TLDR: Life is a mess, enjoy the chaos.


--------------------

--------------------
··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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OfflineMitchnast
Toadmonger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,656
Loc: Okanagan Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
Re: Is my friend overreacting??? [Re: geokills] * 1
    #26442453 - 01/19/20 10:52 PM (4 years, 27 days ago)

I think being expelled from your social
Group for drinking too much, statistically increases your chances of becoming a reclusive alcoholic, substantially.
But then it also increases your chances of growing up.  The road can split, but it only goes in one direction to the grave.


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