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OfflineNear Dylan
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Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) * 2
    #26436248 - 01/16/20 07:05 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Am banned from S&R

My girlfriend's birthday is coming up and I rarely get her anything that I feel very proud of. I always wanna do something "meaningful" but I never can think of anything that could be translated well into a gift. This year I got an idea.

So she always talks about this place called Big Bear that she visited one year as a kid and how it was like, best week of her life and always wanted to go back there. Well I talked to her mom, and she gave me the exact cabin that they stayed at when they were there. Will be winter time too and hopefully snow on the ground, like when she went up as a kid. I have to book it really soon because they fill up easy, apparently.

Would this be kind of a weird gift? Would it feel kinda, off, me bringing her to this super nostalgic place from her childhood? I could see this being somewhat uncomfortable for her and may have some strange vibes. Im excited about it and think she'll be happy but I dont want it to be weird.


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InvisibleCrazy_Horse
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26436255 - 01/16/20 07:11 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
Am banned from S&R





What did you do?


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Crazy_Horse]
    #26436258 - 01/16/20 07:13 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

JSB made a poll asking how many girls we fucked and I said i fucked 50 and have a long dick. He was not amused. It was only a 15 year ban though.


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InvisibleCrazy_Horse
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26436262 - 01/16/20 07:16 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

I thought your girlfriend traded up.


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Crazy_Horse]
    #26436268 - 01/16/20 07:20 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

That was my ex, she followed me on insta last night which got me thinkin about that topic in the other thread


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 2
    #26436269 - 01/16/20 07:21 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

This is a good gift idea, Dylan.  I think so anyway, without knowing anything about your gf.  Just make sure she has a great time, and I imagine it’ll create a fond new memory for her, on top of the childhood experience.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26436289 - 01/16/20 07:39 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

I think its an excellent idea!

Bringing someone to a place of their childhood where they had positive, awesome memories is always a great idea. An excellent choice for a B-Day present.

The only way it would be weird is if she experienced something tragic, unusual or awkward there. But since she didnt, you're all good to go.


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26436323 - 01/16/20 08:15 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Strange vibes? Like you mean fucking in a cabin she stayed in as a kid? I'm actually not sure what your concern is


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26436334 - 01/16/20 08:25 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Well, that's kinda part of it, yeah lol. Nostalgia is just kinda weird. And it's for a week. I could see it being a little bit odd to be reliving all these feelings and deeply personal memories that the person you're with can't relate to at all. And she had a big falling out with her father and idk if that may bring up some weird emotions.


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26436339 - 01/16/20 08:27 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

How long have you been dating?


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26436356 - 01/16/20 08:39 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

About 3 weeks

Jk, a little over 4 years probably


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26436370 - 01/16/20 08:46 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Oh, well then if it does bring up bad feelings you can be there to make her feel better without stepping on her toes. It might even be therapeutic, Chase the ghosts outta that cabin so to speak


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26436375 - 01/16/20 08:48 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

It's a great idea.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26436420 - 01/16/20 09:14 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Agree with everyone here, it's a fabulous idea.

And here's a little known Big Bear fun fact:

Many elite professional boxers (such as Oscar De La Hoya) used Big Bear as a training ground leading up to fights. One of the reasons being they preferred to train in the high altitude that Big Bear has -- not to mention the seclusion and beauty, and because there are no distractions up there.


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26436467 - 01/16/20 09:51 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Oh, well then if it does bring up bad feelings you can be there to make her feel better without stepping on her toes. It might even be therapeutic, Chase the ghosts outta that cabin so to speak




Hopefully literally! Nothing like a paranormal experience to help spice up the night!


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26436470 - 01/16/20 09:52 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Cue Rocky training montage


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26436487 - 01/16/20 09:59 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Cue Rocky training montage






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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Niffla]
    #26436687 - 01/16/20 11:52 AM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Great idea!

Pervert those childhood memories with memories of epic sexy times

:asianofapproval:


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #26436714 - 01/16/20 12:08 PM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

Tripsurfer said:
Great idea!

Pervert those childhood memories with memories of epic sexy times






:lol:


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26436733 - 01/16/20 12:20 PM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Seems like a good idea, but a week might be too long, or not. Maybe she wanted to use her vacation time for something else?

It's Ok to ask her. Just say "I want to do something nice for your birthday and I thought we could go to Big Bear for a week. How do you feel about that?"


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26436874 - 01/16/20 01:51 PM (4 years, 13 days ago)

Just make sure she can get time off of work.


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: ichugwindex] * 1
    #26437881 - 01/17/20 06:08 AM (4 years, 12 days ago)

Her ass is unemployed

Just booked itttttt. We leave 3 days after her bday so I'll tell her then. V exciteddd


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26437929 - 01/17/20 07:11 AM (4 years, 12 days ago)

When you get settled in, tell her softly “the thought of you running around this cabin as a kid - that’s making me horny.”


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: koods] * 1
    #26438773 - 01/17/20 03:29 PM (4 years, 12 days ago)

Yeah Dylan. Be careful what you say on the trip because she might think you're imagining her as a kid and it might get uncomfortable for her. Also, please think of me while you two are making love in the cabin, especially right before you finish. Picture my face on your GF and imagine she's an oiled up dude that just left the gym please. That way you both feel uncomfortable.


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26439945 - 01/18/20 09:52 AM (4 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

right before you finish. Picture my face on your GF and imagine she's an oiled up dude that just left the gym




:awshitherewego:


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #26468944 - 02/04/20 05:44 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

My girlfriend had a major breakdown today... she been dealing with lots of bumps in life and is having second thoughts about bein in a relationship cuz its noticeably bringin me down that she's been a bit of a wreck, that whole deal. I was supposed to tell her about this trip in a couple of dayssssss. Scared of what to do...


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26469010 - 02/04/20 06:21 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Well wishes man. I hope it turns out well.

Sometimes people get mad. Maybe they dont really mean , what they say or do. In that moment.


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    :dazedandconfused:


Edited by watermelon mon (02/04/20 06:22 PM)


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26469024 - 02/04/20 06:30 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

That means you have to do your best to be there for her ND. Assuming you want to keep this thing going. If you two stay together these are the moments she will remember you fondly. "That time Near Dylan was there for me when I couldn't even be there for myself"


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26469037 - 02/04/20 06:36 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

She get laid off from her 'dream job' a few months back and has just been sitting around at home most of the day.. we had to move recently and we dont really have any friends here, so she's just alone all day and is really freaking out about it, and her life and shit. And I cant give her all the attention she wants cuz i gotta do work, ya kno. That's 8-9 hours she's just full on alone just thinkin bout shit. I support her all i can and always look for jobs for her and shit for her to do but she's just developing this super anti-social paranoid personality and mood swinging all over. Just randomly accusing me of cheating on her, then crying apologetically, to silent treatment, i mean crazy shit. I dont want to tell her she should get some professional help but, she definitely needs it... i try to talk to her family about it but she just pushes everyone away, ya kno? Dont kno what do to

Dman sorry to vent all that man lololol. Will update about trip...


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26469050 - 02/04/20 06:45 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

That must be rough finally finding a job that gives fulfillment and then having it ripped out from under you. From the sounds of things this trip will be exactly what you guys need IMO.


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan]
    #26469054 - 02/04/20 06:51 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Holy moly! Good luck with all that. You seem to at least be a stand up guy for not cutting and running like some other people might/would do. I think suggesting talking to someone who could possibly help her out is a good idea.  :thumbup::heart::thumbup:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 3
    #26469065 - 02/04/20 06:57 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Poor girl. That'd definitely tip me over the edge into a massive depression - which comes with crazy amounts of self hatred and perceived unworthiness, which can cause all kinds of nasty insecure thoughts and moods like you describe.

She needs to get out and get a change of pace. She might push back a little bit to this gift, but imo, she needs something like this desperately. Depression is a really nasty, sneaky little voice that'll probably tell her she doesn't deserve this lovely gift, or even the person who got her it. Reassure her.

Depression is also disturbingly comfortable, and sometimes it's literally painful just to try and do anything at all, so understand that a trip like this might really take a lot of energy and effort, and willpower that she probably doesn't have much of right now. She might not exactly be chomping at the bit, but sometimes the right medicine still tastes terrible going down :shrug:


Good luck :hug:


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26469079 - 02/04/20 07:05 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

Ive definitely fallen into these pits in life of just having nothing going on, not having a desire to do anyhting, and feeling like you dont have the ability to, regardless. That melancholy can definitely put you into a state of apathy and gives you this little personal excuse to be lazy. The pool of self-pity is warm, so to speak. But ya get pruny. Naw what im sayin. Idek how i got out of those moments. I guess i got a job and slowly came out of it lol.

She works with kids. All she really knows. No kid jos round here. Refuses everything else. We both love museums and art shit and nature but nothing is makin her happy for any extended period of time. Hella existential pain. I fear that she's the only one who can snap herself out of this, and that it will take way too long..

Really sucks seeing someone you kinda 'grew' with be so broken, you know? We were together when we were at a very formative time of our lives and I watched her grow and 'blossom' and all dat stuff, see all the inner workings of her who she is as a person, and then just seeing all that shatter all of the sudden. Hard not to show second-hand depression and concern about the whole situation


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Good Idea or Bad (Birthday gift) [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #26469095 - 02/04/20 07:21 PM (3 years, 11 months ago)

It's TRUE that the largest portion of her getting out of this is on her

I think it's more likely to happen if you just keep doing your best man. All my best adult development happened because my wife did her best to be there for me in those dark times and thanks to her support I got my shit together. I know we dont always get along ND but I'm still here for you. Feel free to HMU


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


Edited by ichugwindex (02/04/20 07:22 PM)


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