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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


Registered: 08/22/18
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Seizure 'trip report' 3
#26435923 - 01/16/20 01:00 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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This was a few hours ago now, I've never had anything like this happen before and no I wasn't actually on any substances except for my regular seizure meds.
I felt an aura coming on so I sat on my sofa, next thing I know I'm halfway across my house. Upon sitting back down I immediately entered a seizure unlike anything I've ever experienced. I was having a focal unaware yet somehow was aware as a voice spoke from within me.
Voice: you speak of this 'disorder' as though it were a curse yet for thousands of years people would have seen you as sacred, look around you what do you see? Is it real, now close your eyes - I did and saw everything as I had with them open.
Voice: So can you tell which is real, are they both or are neither? Me: I can neither tell nor can I answer that.
Voice: You always claim you don't fear death, and proceed to show me some very graphic hypnogogic type visuals of myself being killed in numerous ways including one where I felt some large ape like creature tearing my lips off, none of this frightened me. However it then showed family members mourning over my death, and goals I haven't achieved which struck a nerve.
Voice: Ok so you really don't fear death but there was fear I'll let you tell me what that was about. Me: I fear leaving my loved ones behind and missing out on future experiences with them. Voice: Ok, that is reasonable, would you like to see beyond the hypnogogia? Me: Only if I can come back. Voice: You won't know the difference. Me: Fair enough, yes show me.
I immediately began falling backwards through indescribable machinery that appeared to be assembling some sort of tunnel or cannon into which I was eventually loaded and fired into all directions. The other end was beyond description, humanoid entities bearing swords, spinning disc entities with insect wings, entities comprised entirely of eyes, lion headed entities and I cannot even describe what I saw other than that, there was so much insanity. The voice said by the way you're not seizing any more, you haven't been for a while now and you can open your eyes and be back home or stay and explore. I chose the latter because what the hell if I was wherever I was why waste the chance, I opened my eyes after an eternity and a total of 10 minutes had passed since the initial aura.
Edited by Lophophora (01/16/20 01:23 AM)
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SFS96
AstroMan



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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26435930 - 01/16/20 01:18 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Thatβs crazy you tripped like that without drugs. Iv had something similar happen but it was after about 8gs of shrooms.
-------------------- How I make and preserve tea
Consuming consumes a man That was never a purpose of life To only crave for material joys Is believing the lie - Mellow Mood
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


Registered: 08/22/18
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: SFS96] 1
#26435932 - 01/16/20 01:23 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Edited for ease of reading.
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Northerner
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26435988 - 01/16/20 02:22 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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That is insane Lophophora. You feeling okay now?
--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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HolyBolete
Mold Slayer



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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: SFS96]
#26435990 - 01/16/20 02:28 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
SFS96 said: Thatβs crazy you tripped like that without drugs. Iv had something similar happen but it was after about 8gs of shrooms.
Yeah a high dose of shrooms gave me similar seizure like expansive experiences where my body violently twitched and thrashed me into lying on the ground as the visuals became more intense.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Northerner]
#26435997 - 01/16/20 02:51 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Yeah doing better, frequency is down to a few a week and haven't had any grand mals for about a month, got pneumonia currently though so that's increased my seizures a bit.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26436006 - 01/16/20 03:07 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Shrooms always make me twitchy, it used to freak me out but I learned to differentiate drug from neurological dysfunction, the shrooms can still try to convince me but it's a very different feeling once you've experienced untold thousands of focal aware seizures and what we've now determined weren't psychogenic seizures but fully aware grand mals (some of the experts I'm working with are starting to suspect I have insular cortex rather than temporal lobe epilepsy, due to the few meds I respond to being the big guns and oxcarbazapine which is now a big gun and the nature of my seizures, mainly partials and myoclonics and drops, high rate of Todd's paralysis, constriction of the throat, clawing at face while unaware, and of course grand mals/tonic clonic while occasionally maintaining full awareness which is hell gone into status length while aware a couple times and my wife swears she can see it in my eyes like make it stop) and I've learned that my negative reactions to lorazepam in the past are dose related over 2mg and I go psychotic for a few hours...like surrounded my house in salt to keep the demons out psychotic but 1-2mg and I'm good, if that doesn't work I need midazolam and probably a ketamine coma for a day but haven't been there in a while so overall yeah I'd say I'm doing pretty good. Not tripping until I get all this damn phlegm out though.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26436009 - 01/16/20 03:09 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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And my neurologist assured me that the psychotic reaction to higher doses of ativan aren't uncommon with many epileptics he's worked with.
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HolyBolete
Mold Slayer



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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26436015 - 01/16/20 03:12 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Ativan (lorazepam) is a muscle relaxer but can also cause anxiety and muscle tension. Not the healthiest anti-anxiety it's certainly not a good med for your seizures unless you absolutely are having a panic attack, imo. Don't always trust a "medical/psych professional" the literature on a bunch of these meds have been silenced by big pharma or are not as popular.
Edited by HolyBolete (01/16/20 03:15 AM)
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HolyBolete
Mold Slayer



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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26436020 - 01/16/20 03:16 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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That's good advice on the twitches from shrooms.
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HappyHigh
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: HolyBolete]
#26436396 - 01/16/20 09:00 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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I will say a simple seizure feels a lot like a .7-1. shroom come up from a tea tek .
-------------------- Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: HappyHigh]
#26436661 - 01/16/20 11:40 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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Ativan is my rescue med ie I've been in a grand mal for more than 5 minutes or have gone into multiple without recovering as a last line before paramedics are called. The two experts I'm working with are two of the top in my country and the first of them offered to do phone appointments when he found out I was an immigrant and what I was paying until I got my permanent residency...His words exactly "$250 each visit, that's criminal I'm not making enough to justify making you pay that, do you want to do phone or skype appointments until you have your card. I absolutely trust him and he's capable of puppeting my epileptologist who is a leading expert of rare epilepsies around. By I trust him fully I mean he's let me take the reigns in my treatment and just said that my wife and I are intelligent and to do our own research, if we find something interesting or a med we'd like to try just let him know, dosing is up to me to dial in except for one exception...clobazam which he pushed on me because I was having nocturnal seizures and ended up in status repeatedly and he said just give it a try if you don't like it or it doesn't help don't take it, I'll check in in a week, and actually it's the med that's given me the best control I've had since my head injury initially took place.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


Registered: 08/22/18
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26436666 - 01/16/20 11:42 AM (4 years, 13 days ago) |
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When I say ativan, I mean lorazepam we rarely see anything but generic drugs in my country.
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HappyHigh
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26437834 - 01/17/20 04:10 AM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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My brain really wanted me dead. Over 2 years every 30-45 days i'd go in to grand mal until they put me in a drug induced coma. Every time i had a attack they would switch meds.....At the end they had me so doped up i was sleeping 20-22 hours a day. I once had 13 recorded simple seizures while i was just sitting at hospital. They had me hooked up to record it, i was fully aware and felt non of them.
-------------------- Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: HappyHigh]
#26438373 - 01/17/20 11:23 AM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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I'm coming from a point where I was having hundred of seizures every day, now I have a few simples or myoclonics every few days and a grand mal once a month or so.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26438429 - 01/17/20 11:53 AM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Damn, that is some DMT breakthrough level shit right there.
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Korean Jesus



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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: nooneman]
#26438674 - 01/17/20 02:14 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Is it possible you hallucinated your own seizure? I have no idea what it's like to have a seizure but I could feel the neurons in my brain seizing (not actually, this was obviously a hallucination) and kinda felt like I was going between seizing and floating on a heavy trip
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: nooneman]
#26439060 - 01/17/20 06:39 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Definitely nooneman, been a while since I broke through on DMT maybe a couple months since I even touched the stuff. The clarity of what was happening was unlike anything I ever experienced on DMT, none of the more real than reality that I typically feel moreso I felt as that I was seeing the unseeable, conversing with a spirit of some sort...granted despite having smoked between 40 and 50 times I've only broken through 4 times the first I only realized was a breakthrough after my third when everything came rushing back. my wife and friend were pretty certain I had as after I dropped my machine they started putting it to my mouth and lighting while yelling inhale inhale inhale, hold exhale and I got according to them 4 more tokes in before I just slumped forward.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


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Tripping can definitely have a seizure feel to it sometimes but when you've experienced as many seizures as I have you can tell the difference, also the only substances in my system were Keppra (levitiracetam), Trileptal (oxcarbazapine) and clobazam (from the night prior), all of those are in me 24/7 to stop my seizures so I definitely didn't hallucinate the seizure rather hallucinated or something during the seizure which is very common for me according to my wife though it's not common to have any recollection. Also my seizure hallucinations tend to take on a very aggressive psychotic nature ie yelling at objects, fighting ghosts etc.
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Lophophora
A single drop in the ocean


Registered: 08/22/18
Posts: 637
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Re: Seizure 'trip report' [Re: Lophophora]
#26439086 - 01/17/20 06:53 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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I'm also practicing meditation when I feel them start to come on at the suggestion of my neurologist, because there's no meds he can give me at this point that either haven't failed or aren't contraindicated with my development of DRESS syndrome last fall which won't permanently fuck me. Interestingly it works to at least reduce severity, what may have been grand mal, myoclonic or partial complex is reduced to simples which while shitty aren't gonna kill me either
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