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sui
I love you.


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: Newbie]
#26438847 - 01/17/20 04:13 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
Newbie said: That's fucking awesome, I'm glad to hear that. I made the 6 months but it was my own curiosity that did me in again. I wasn't even craving it, I was just wondering if I could moderate it. I know I can't now and that's just fine. I can definitely abstain, which I'm really lucky for. I mean I've gone to bars with friends to watch games and such and not even been tempted to pick up a drink. Some are not as fortunate and may need that AA assistance.
As an atheist, however, I strongly disagree with the religious aspect the program imposes. If anyone here is like me, there ARE non secular alternatives out there that don't teach you that you're powerless alone and must succumb to a higher power.
HERE are some alternatives if needed.
Bill W. Took part in some LSD studies and wanted to incorporate itsuse into the program for those people that had a hard time finding a higher power such as athiests.
It's a taboo topic in the program today but it's true.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 1 day, 9 hours
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: sui] 1
#26438856 - 01/17/20 04:22 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Whoops, had to edit my post. I meant to write secular.
That's awesome, I could see that being very beneficial when administered in the right way. I wouldn't wanna be tripping out in a clinic or something like that.
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: Newbie]
#26438865 - 01/17/20 04:26 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Cancerous monkey on my back is my delusional concern for time and money
--------------------
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feevers



Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc:
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: trees]
#26438885 - 01/17/20 04:39 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Anxiety
Which leads to substances
Which leads to even more anxiety when they wear off
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: trees]
#26438891 - 01/17/20 04:44 PM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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Probably that I love everybody
Unfortunately in this world that wont get you anywhere
One person told me I should pretty much hate everybody
To just show coldness with no generosity of any kind
He said that he could genuinely see the love that i mean
So he wanted to beat anyone up who was going to mess with it
He told me to stay away from everyone
You can see the same love in the eyes and actions of a child
how happy they can be until they age
Miss him he helped me
Unfortunately his advice may be true
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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This person actually made sure eveyone showed respect to me
As in or else
Incase if they had a second thought
Believe it or not thankfully it's still there
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JustABoxOfRain

Registered: 07/20/17
Posts: 197
Loc: Under my LSD bedsheets
Last seen: 4 months, 14 days
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: Probably that I love everybody
Unfortunately in this world that wont get you anywhere
One person told me I should pretty much hate everybody
To just show coldness with no generosity of any kind
He said that he could genuinely see the love that i mean
So he wanted to beat anyone up who was going to mess with it
He told me to stay away from everyone
You can see the same love in the eyes and actions of a child
how happy they can be until they age
Miss him he helped me
Unfortunately his advice may be true
I really relate to this, I love everyone but I feel like this can almost be a weakness at times and I'm working on the strength to let it shine and just be myself and not care about the consequences or perceptions of others.
While at the same time acknowledging human nature and being realistic and not letting people take advantage of you. Of course love is abstract but its the only way I can phrase it, I love you all.
-------------------- Brotherhood of Eternal Love I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe. I was not offended, for I knew I had to rise above it all, or drown in my own shit
Edited by JustABoxOfRain (01/19/20 01:51 PM)
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Seanmt
Stranger

Registered: 01/16/20
Posts: 22
Last seen: 4 years, 10 days
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Hallucinations give me commands/ fool me
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 1 hour, 36 minutes
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Quote:
JustABoxOfRain said:
Quote:
watermelon mon said: Probably that I love everybody
Unfortunately in this world that wont get you anywhere
One person told me I should pretty much hate everybody
To just show coldness with no generosity of any kind
He said that he could genuinely see the love that i mean
So he wanted to beat anyone up who was going to mess with it
He told me to stay away from everyone
You can see the same love in the eyes and actions of a child
how happy they can be until they age
Miss him he helped me
Unfortunately his advice may be true
I really relate to this, I love everyone but I feel like this can almost be a weakness at times and I'm working on the strength to let it shine and just be myself and not care about the consequences or perceptions of others.
While at the same time acknowledging human nature and being realistic and not letting people take advantage of you. Of course love is abstract but its the only way I can phrase it, I love you all.
You should balance it out by doing random acts of rudeness that way it wont be a weakness
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Northerner
splelling chceker


Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,141
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 38 minutes, 50 seconds
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Quote:
JustABoxOfRain said:
Quote:
watermelon mon said: Probably that I love everybody
Unfortunately in this world that wont get you anywhere
One person told me I should pretty much hate everybody
To just show coldness with no generosity of any kind
He said that he could genuinely see the love that i mean
So he wanted to beat anyone up who was going to mess with it
He told me to stay away from everyone
You can see the same love in the eyes and actions of a child
how happy they can be until they age
Miss him he helped me
Unfortunately his advice may be true
I really relate to this, I love everyone but I feel like this can almost be a weakness at times and I'm working on the strength to let it shine and just be myself and not care about the consequences or perceptions of others.
While at the same time acknowledging human nature and being realistic and not letting people take advantage of you. Of course love is abstract but its the only way I can phrase it, I love you all.
I am a very caring person too, but I've got older and less prone to exploitation. One time I actually said to someone "Do not confuse my kindness for weakness!". Of course they were blown away and stopped the fuckery. As humans we still need to remember we are primal creatures, despite all of our trimmings and fancy belief systems. Still just animals.
--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: Northerner] 1
#26443356 - 01/20/20 03:25 PM (4 years, 9 days ago) |
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Probably more than anything, I am addicted to the internet.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: sui] 1
#26443392 - 01/20/20 03:51 PM (4 years, 9 days ago) |
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Probably more than anything, my ADHD. As an adult with actual responsibilities, dealing with the fallout and consequences of the fall out is tough, much more so now than it was when I was younger - especially because I'm really trying to deal with it without medication or therapy(but I'm starting to concede to at least seeing a doctor again). It's an entirely misunderstood disorder, and there's a lot of depression and anxiety that come with it.
I also tend to self sabotage a lot, which again, I think can be traced back to the adhd. It's entirely frustrating to watch play out because I know I'm doing it, and I know what's happening, but it's like I want to test how far I can take it - while also simultaneously hating myself up for it, and then thinking I deserve it.
Edited by pirate-blues (01/20/20 04:00 PM)
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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: sui] 1
#26443398 - 01/20/20 03:55 PM (4 years, 9 days ago) |
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The monkey on my back is stricken with the fear ov losing connection to the current ov love. Depression, my past alcoholism, and the paranoia that arises from uncertainty are symptoms ov that underlying problem which became problems in themselves. Liberty, light, love, and life. My soular constitution feeds on this embrace. Restriction opposes the current, be it self imposed or a stricture ov disposition outside my willful control. If i look ahead and trod along the path locked in hand and heart, i can forget the monkey's there. But sometimes i cannot help but to stop and look in the mirror. Emotional scars become visible once again, and the monkey's arms tighten around my neck as he faces my reflection in a mocking smile, as if to say "We will both become skeletons one day, but who shall be first?".
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
pirate-blues said: Probably more than anything, my ADHD. As an adult with actual responsibilities, dealing with the fallout and consequences of the fall out is tough, much more so now than it was when I was younger - especially because I'm really trying to deal with it without medication or therapy(but I'm starting to concede to at least seeing a doctor again). It's an entirely misunderstood disorder, and there's a lot of depression and anxiety that come with it.
I also tend to self sabotage a lot, which again, I think can be traced back to the adhd. It's entirely frustrating to watch play out because I know I'm doing it, and I know what's happening, but it's like I want to test how far I can take it - while also simultaneously hating myself up for it, and then thinking I deserve it.
That sounds like me too.😂
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Re: Monkey on your back.. [Re: sui]
#26443414 - 01/20/20 04:05 PM (4 years, 9 days ago) |
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The thing that's helped me more than any medical professional, is probably just reading as much as I can about it. It's so much more complex than not being able to pay attention. And no medical professional ever actually explained it to me beyond that. There were so many patterns of behavior and thinking that I had no clue were a direct result of it, and understanding it has helped me identify and fix things I couldn't before.
It's a struggle though, for sure. Solidarity, my fellow freak.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Hey there Pirate! Long time no "see".
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pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Hi TR - hope you're doing well, happy(belated) New Year!
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Rumblefishtwist
Cyber Bully



Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1,040
Loc: Universe
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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The monkey on my back? Being an addict, in general. My ex said basically said "you always have to be addicted to SOMETHING if it isn't "x", it's "x". I think she was right.
When I think about it, it's kind of true. If I'm not going through phases of extreme alcoholism, it's extreme uppers/caffeine/pwo addiction, or something else like various forms of opiates. Shit is crazy. One side of my family has a large multi-generational history of addiction, drug/alcohol abuse etc. So it just feels second nature I guess, like eating a meal to sustain to the next "hunger".
The few days of sobriety I encounter these days just feel like complete lethargy, depression, and weirdness, where I am tired beyond all belief and feel fucking strange. Shit sucks lol. I'm sure it's withdrawal/detox, but shit..
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Northerner said:
Quote:
JustABoxOfRain said:
Quote:
watermelon mon said: Probably that I love everybody
Unfortunately in this world that wont get you anywhere
One person told me I should pretty much hate everybody
To just show coldness with no generosity of any kind
He said that he could genuinely see the love that i mean
So he wanted to beat anyone up who was going to mess with it
He told me to stay away from everyone
You can see the same love in the eyes and actions of a child
how happy they can be until they age
Miss him he helped me
Unfortunately his advice may be true
I really relate to this, I love everyone but I feel like this can almost be a weakness at times and I'm working on the strength to let it shine and just be myself and not care about the consequences or perceptions of others.
While at the same time acknowledging human nature and being realistic and not letting people take advantage of you. Of course love is abstract but its the only way I can phrase it, I love you all.
I am a very caring person too, but I've got older and less prone to exploitation. One time I actually said to someone "Do not confuse my kindness for weakness!". Of course they were blown away and stopped the fuckery. As humans we still need to remember we are primal creatures, despite all of our trimmings and fancy belief systems. Still just animals.
I'm still going to show it. It's in who I've always been.
Ended up in a cage. now I have problems with the law.
Laughed at by cops. Smashed on a car. humiliated
Just stood there all night. next to a cold concrete bed. Behind bars full of cobwebs.
Now it all turns. From how its preserved. within your own heart and soul.
How it changes you. How you can help others.
All I want to do is help people. In anyway that I can.
It had nothing to do with my penis.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Drunk in public?
--------------------
Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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