Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]
OfflineKmacmo
The aborted pin
Other


Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
Last seen: 4 hours, 35 minutes
How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty)
    #26424648 - 01/09/20 01:05 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

What's a good way of dealing with really negative people? Friends and family specifically.

I feel like the negitvity is contagious amongst my group of friends and I have to try my hardest not to catch it and keep them thinking positively its really draining and doesn't seem to do any help for them... They like to bathe in sorrow, misery and addiction.

For example I go round to my friends house to have a catchup and just have a good time, he sits listening to the same 10 depressing as fuck songs all the time... I say let's take the dog out for a walk - he be like nah I can't be arsed (all the time) id rather just sit and chain smoke cigarettes and drink 20 coffees a day while listing to my emo music.

I don't understand why people do this to themselves. I've been really depressed in the past but that depression made me change cause I don't want to feel like that forever.

Instead of actively looking for cures or solutions it's just easyer for them to accept their misery and live like that it makes me sad that I can't seem to help them in anyway... I always get shot down for trying to get them out the house or book a holiday.

They say yes to every plan we make to do something diffrent(like go bowling) and when that day comes I call them to find out they can't be arsed anymore (on the day bowling was planned for) so they just sit in the house as usual.

Has anyone had similar things happen to your friends/family, and if so what's a good way of taking the sheer depression and negitvity out of a person?


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblelaughingdog
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo] * 1
    #26424685 - 01/09/20 01:22 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

" what's a good way of taking the sheer depression and negitvity out of a person?"

Nobody has a way that always works with all people. But many have ideas and methods that sometimes work with some people.

Yes its weird but many do make themselves miserable.

So the other question is: if you do respect their right to live as they choose, then: How do you find a way to do, what works for you in your life?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKmacmo
The aborted pin
Other


Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
Last seen: 4 hours, 35 minutes
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: laughingdog]
    #26424850 - 01/09/20 02:39 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

I do respect anyone's right to live how they want, it just affects me more if its someone I care about.

My solution was getting a new hobby and going out more and enjoying nature. Along with shrooms but I don't want to push that on anyone but it really helped me (I say its atleast worth a single attempt, if you don't like it just don't do it again).

They aren't open to new ideas and that's the problem I think, just stuck in the same old routine.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinefeldman114
Stragler


Registered: 09/06/19
Posts: 3,365
Loc: Bravos
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo] * 1
    #26424854 - 01/09/20 02:43 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

Sounds like your friend needs to take a trip to mushroom mountain.

Generally speaking, killing them with kindness can be quite effective. Answer their negativity with positive enthusiasm, laugh off any depressing statements, etc.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineliving_failure
unworthy
Male


Registered: 06/13/19
Posts: 352
Loc: spain, madrid
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: feldman114]
    #26424891 - 01/09/20 03:05 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

There are a lot of types of negativity, depression, sadness, pessimis.

You cannot deal with comepletely different type of people in the same way (if you care about them).



If you don't care about them just personally attack them, insult them or whatever that will make them angry, it would be the fastest way of stopping them being negative.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAntigov
Male


Registered: 03/17/19
Posts: 792
Loc: Deep within the BibleBelt Flag
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: living_failure]
    #26424939 - 01/09/20 03:31 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

Life’s a bitch and Buh humbug:thumbdown:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDividedQuantumM
Outer Head
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo] * 1
    #26424951 - 01/09/20 03:41 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

It's a perennial question, how can we help others? The world has grown quite messed up over time, and this leads to behaviors such as depression, nihilism, pessimism and addictions of all kinds. So it's no surprise that millions of people are distinctly unhappy these days. What's more, they seem to want to spread their unhappiness, or at least reinforce it, and wallow in it to an extreme degree.

That said, it seems there's little we can do really to change people. (Whether we even should is a big question). I am reminded of Ram Dass' approach: He said that, no matter what the circumstances, all that one can do is be the best possible you that you can. We don't control others, and we barely control ourselves, so working on oneself and trying to spread the most positive vibes possible -- if we can -- is all we can do for other people. And sometimes it works.

I find that approach to be the most realistic I've come across.


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineKickleM
Wanderer
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 3 minutes, 30 seconds
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #26425058 - 01/09/20 04:53 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty)

There's a saying in sales:
The optimist sees the glass as half full
the pessimist sees the glass as half empty
and the sales person wants to tell you the benefits of a glass with water in it

I tell my employees all the time that the ability to sell that they learn will apply to so many areas of their life that it's scary.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblelaughingdog
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo]
    #26425097 - 01/09/20 05:13 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

Kmacmo said:
....Has anyone had similar things happen to your friends/family, and if so what's a good way of taking the sheer depression and negitvity out of a person?




Yes. We all tend to get set in our ways, and to be blind to some of our hangups.
Its great that you have helped yourself previously.
Only you know, what leverage you might have with these folks, from your past history with them.
Who knows maybe you will find a way? ... but....

Only you can decide, what the emotional costs are if you continue to hang out with them & they don't change, or seem to, but then they go back to their old patterns.

At some point many in similar situations ( & it is very common), have to ask themselves to what degree being dependent on someone else's happiness, is an escape from doing what makes themselves  happy or feel alive, independent of others, or other's emotional states.

There is even a name for this issue: codependency:
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=codependency&ia=web


Edited by laughingdog (01/09/20 06:20 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: laughingdog]
    #26425177 - 01/09/20 06:05 PM (4 years, 20 days ago)

I wonder if I want to help them or want to make them more like me, and mostly it is neither but if I wake up then I want to help them enjoy something, at least they can have me as someone to bitch at - which can be rare - or maybe they can get me to buy them something - chachkas.

generosity is mostly time and a smile.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKmacmo
The aborted pin
Other


Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
Last seen: 4 hours, 35 minutes
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: redgreenvines]
    #26425738 - 01/10/20 12:49 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Wow such good responses, this place is full of knowledgeable people thanks for all the advice.

Even makes me more positive now reading all this. Hopefully they will catch my positive vibes sooner or later will take some time and effort :smile:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinesideroxylon
paññā
Male


Registered: 01/01/20
Posts: 121
Loc: Sol
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo]
    #26425741 - 01/10/20 12:52 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Remove toxicity entirely.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLoaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 2 hours
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kickle]
    #26425762 - 01/10/20 01:11 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Quote:

Kickle said:
How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty)

There's a saying in sales:
The optimist sees the glass as half full
the pessimist sees the glass as half empty
and the sales person wants to tell you the benefits of a glass with water in it

I tell my employees all the time that the ability to sell that they learn will apply to so many areas of their life that it's scary.




This is it. Sales really is everything, even outside of "working hours". Human behavior is human behavior; psychology 101! Great post, mate.


--------------------



"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCountHTML
Stranger
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/24/18
Posts: 557
Loc: Maine
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: redgreenvines]
    #26425765 - 01/10/20 01:14 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Negativity compounds on itself. Positivity does too, but it seems to take more consciousness and awareness to be a truly positive person in this world and not merely naive. Negativity is easier to succumb to. We’re hardwired to have a negative bias in order to detect social and environmental threats.

Truly positive, loving, compassionate people are quite remarkable. It’s different than naïveté. Often such people have lived hard, troubled or challenging lives. but there’s just something in them that makes them respond in such a manner that they blossom. Life becomes about more than just them. They spiral up to levels of being in the world that are more generative; compassion grows to encompass greater numbers until eventually encompassing all of humanity.

Such people become psycho-spiritual athletes. They’re loving, kind but anything but weak. They also have the sharpened faces of people who have peered into the darkness and obtained a certain toughness and resilience as a result. They can, as a result, also be quite stern when called for.

True spiritual development. Most people who talk about it have no idea what they’re talking about. Negativity and challenges seem to be a default in this human experience but provides an opportunity for us to discover greater depths in ourselves and life more broadly. It all depends how much we can hold, or perhaps, rather, not hold.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo]
    #26425878 - 01/10/20 03:08 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

What country do you live in?


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo] * 1
    #26425990 - 01/10/20 05:05 AM (4 years, 19 days ago)

A guy on this very forum once said the following:

When someone is shit, you can do three things:
1) withdraw your presence from them.
2) confront them on the situation.
3) surrender to the situation and take it as it is.

--Cez, PS&P


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKmacmo
The aborted pin
Other


Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
Last seen: 4 hours, 35 minutes
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: CountHTML]
    #26426627 - 01/10/20 02:02 PM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Do you think induviduals are also hardwired to not have their spiritual development as a priority or they don't even know what spirituality is... Like you can train your physical body to become stronger/healthyer you can also train your mind in all different areas like your body all with different benefits from the training/development to in the end of it just make life more enjoyable and more in control. People who control life, enjoy life.

From the UK also and it does seem like those are the only 3 options, nice and simplified :laugh:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinefeldman114
Stragler


Registered: 09/06/19
Posts: 3,365
Loc: Bravos
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo]
    #26426630 - 01/10/20 02:05 PM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Spirituality is weird nowadays. I consider it the most important aspect of my existence, yet, when I hear someone go “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual” I want to kick them right in the soul.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo]
    #26426669 - 01/10/20 02:28 PM (4 years, 19 days ago)

It sounds like you're more upset about people bailing on plans than being negative nancy downers, which is a bit of a different issue, but I'm gonna talk about the 24/7 negative nancy types.

Sometimes I have to literally say to people something like "stop being such a downer." Helping a friend in a time of need is one thing, but I don't need to or want to be brought down if I don't have to be. It's hard enough leading my own life, or for anyone leading their own lives. Having someone else come in and try to make you all depressed is frustrating, annoying, and it adds more work to your life for no reason. It's another thing you have to deal with, and it can often bring you down when you don't need to be. I have enough on my plate as it is, I don't need or want other people adding to it needlessly.

No one is responsible for the emotional state of another (except for obvious exceptions like relationships, and even then there's only a small partial responsibility). If I'm having a perfectly good day, the last thing I want is for someone else to come through and wreck it for no reason over shit that doesn't even have anything to do with me. It isn't helpful for either party. It adds to and creates problems rather than solving anything.

When I go out with friends, I want to have fun. Everyone has their own problems in life, there's no reason why one person has to burden another with theirs (at least not on the regular. Supporting a friend in a time of need is one thing, I'm talking about people who are down all the time 24/7 about everything). Normal people even if they do feel bad will often hide that with friends so that everyone can just have fun and enjoy themselves. It's not just a matter of hiding your feelings, but it's part of trying to have a good time with other human beings.

Again, I want to reiterate this is about people who are down about everything all the time, and are always bringing you down 24/7. Supporting a friend in a time of need, or comforting a family member is clearly the right thing to do, it's not about that.

If you have a negative nancy downer in your life, my suggestion is to take them out to a bar and drink some beer and be happy even if you're not or they're not.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,014
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 4 hours, 32 minutes
Re: How to deal with negative minded people(cup half empty) [Re: Kmacmo] * 2
    #26426811 - 01/10/20 03:57 PM (4 years, 19 days ago)

Chronic negativity and depressing can be as seductive as the sweet allure of opiate intoxication. We're all susceptible to various forms of suffering.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Where's my driving force? Living life half-assed.. too_many_weirdos 1,299 7 01/16/02 12:41 PM
by too_many_weirdos
* Mind meld, anyone?
( 1 2 3 all )
LOBO 4,625 46 05/29/03 10:07 PM
by johnnyfive
* Mind? Control Techniques
( 1 2 all )
Sclorch 3,527 26 04/30/02 03:17 PM
by Insomniac
* objective and subjective states of mind Grav 2,316 5 03/18/03 11:21 AM
by Cherk
* Shrooms: Divine Insight or Delusions of Grandeur?
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Sclorch 9,933 86 04/29/03 04:04 AM
by Shroomism
* Dead for an hour and a half-full report
( 1 2 3 all )
amanita3 7,383 56 10/11/16 06:53 PM
by laughingdog
* The post that never dies
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Dogomush 7,735 62 08/29/03 11:23 AM
by fireworks_god
* The Key to Happiness is in the Mind - An LSD trip Report... jono 992 2 04/28/03 01:52 PM
by Murex

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, DividedQuantum
1,072 topic views. 1 members, 7 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.028 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 16 queries.