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Offlineindividualist
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Registered: 05/03/18
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Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal
    #26411540 - 01/01/20 08:55 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Last night I had a trip unlike any other.  Of course that should go without saying, as no trip is like any other but this trip was next level intense and different.

I didn't "break through" per se in the same way that I've broken through before on doses this high, but I most definitely ascended to a higher plane of consciousness than that of my own individual ego.

I ground up 4 grams of Syrian Rue in my coffee grinder into fine powder.  I scooped the powder bit by bit into my mouth and to mask the taste of the Rue I had made a strong Patron margarita with which I washed down each mouthful of Rue powder, aware that the alcohol might compromise the mushrooms but accepting that risk.  It worked because I barely tasted the Syrian Rue.  I then began brewing a tea of 8 grams of wild picked, cracker dry P cubensis.  2 cups of water brought to a boil then removed from heat, pulverized mushrooms mixed into the simmering water and stirred at low heat for 15 minutes and poured through a coffee filter directly into a coffee mug.  I made sure to teabag and squeeze the mushies into the tea several times before drinking.  By the time the tea was ready it had been 30-40 minutes since I'd consumed the rue.  I drank the warm tea over the course of about 20 minutes.

I was feeling effects, a very strong come up with level 2 body load and visuals by the time I even finished the tea.  I immediately huddled up under a very warm fuzzy blanket laying down on my couch in anticipation of the extreme cold I generally suffer on the come up.  This was another good move as I could feel my body trying to be cold, but the cold was successfully countered by the soft warmth of the blanket.

While relaxing on the couch the shrooms gradually kicked in.  Now this was a heroic dose by any measure, and I was tripping really, really hard, with full blown 3D closed eye visuals and neon open eye patterns swirling around the room.  Visually, probably the most intense trip I've ever had and worth the experience for this reason alone.

But here is where it got really interesting.  My thoughts drifted to the topic of my paternal grandmother who passed away many years ago.  It's worth noting that I bear a striking resemblance to her in facial structure (though I am a male).  She was a socialite of the southern upper class in her heyday and a true beauty in her youth, she aged with grace and passed away with dignity after a bout with Alzheimer's.  In a sober state and without bias I can truly say she was the definition of a classy lady.  I could not separate my thought patterns from dwelling on her, yet what is strange is that the visions I was having of her were not of my memories of her as an old lady, but of her in her youth...decades before I was born, raising my father and his brothers (my uncles).

Another note about my grandmother...she was a dainty and delicate lady but with a fiery passion inside--a very lightweight bone structure, like a bird's, and a voice that was...uniquely high pitched, again like a bird's.  This is relevant because in this trip I envisioned her wrists and hands as an eagle's talons.  Now a note about her husband, my grandfather.  He was a career fighter pilot in the Navy and Air Force.  His son, my father, was also a career aviator in the Air Force, and I myself have a significant background in aviation with about 1,000 flight hours under my belt.

I'm only giving all these details because I think they are relevant to the spiritual experience I had on this trip.  Now look.  I'm a white guy, and an unapologetic one at that.  I've never really believed in indigenous spiritual traditions until last night.  But I felt a connection to both of my grandparents that was real, and the vehicle of that connection was via the animal spirit of the eagle...that they had not, in fact, perished; that they lived, in me, and in our family's spirit animal, which is the eagle.

I kept having visions of my grandparents, but especially of my grandmother, elegantly soaring the skies as an eagle, not once or twice or three times, but continuously over the course of a 6 hour mushroom trip.  When I wasn't envisioning her as an eagle, I was envisioning her in human form wearing a hat with an eagle's feather in it, or with a lapel pin bearing the emblem of the eagle in one form or another.  I envisioned my grandfather soaring the skies in his fighter jets, raising my father who would follow in his footsteps as an aviator, who in turn raised me.  As a woman of the eagle spirit she was drawn to him because our family is drawn to the sky.  We seek careers in the sky, we climb mountains, we travel every chance we get, we are all "small boned" lightweight people.  Every thought, every recollection, every vision I had last night reinforced the notion that I carry within me the spirit of the eagle, which was given to me from my grandmother and grandfather.

When the mushroom trip had plateaued about 2 hours in I took a fat hit of THC vape which pushed me even higher.  I was no longer merely *feeling* the spirit of the eagle and of my grandparents...I had merged with those spirits and become one with them.  I was experiencing their lives as they experienced them in the mid 20th century, long before I even existed.  Not in the specific details of day to day events of their lives, but in the summative emotional experience of their lives.  Many of my other visions during this trip were of iconography of mid 20th century America, further solidifying my belief that whatever mushrooms do, they do something extremely weird to our flawed notions of linear time.  I felt them, there is a real sense in which I *was* them, and dammit I can't explain it but I/we were not exactly eagles per se, but we were humans who carried the essence of the eagle within us.

It was an incredibly cathartic experience.  I can't explain the mechanism, but our souls had transcended their deaths and connected into one.  Even now after everything has worn off I feel more connected to my grandparents than I have ever felt before, and in retrospect I feel quite strongly that this spiritual phone call has been trying to get through to me for my last two or three mushroom trips, but I didn't quite get deep enough into the mushroom head space (i.e., I didn't have enough bars for a good connection) for it to happen.

It's only been a day, and I know trip integration takes a while, but I'm coming out of this trip with a really strong conviction that spirit animals are a real thing and that they run in families, and that mine is the eagle.  Can't wait to do some more reading on the topic and open to suggestions if anyone has had a similar encounter.


--------------------
Question with boldness


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Offlineermine
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Registered: 05/01/17
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26412201 - 01/02/20 09:43 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I love this write up...  a courageous journey!


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InvisiblePsicomb
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: ermine]
    #26412252 - 01/02/20 10:19 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Best report I've read in ages.  Thank you for writing all this up. It made me smile reading it.


Edited by Psicomb (01/02/20 10:20 AM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26412336 - 01/02/20 11:08 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Fascinating trip, sir. Well written, thank you for sharing. I would love to meet my spirit guide and / or my spirit animal. I tried to make contact last trip but don’t think I was successful. Certainly nothing / nobody returned my attempts at contact. Though later I became aware of a female almost ghostly presence, flying off up some winding stairs in my head. I have previously definitely felt certain energies, which are recognisable, and I recognise these same energies in actual living people, not just during trips. I am told they are my spirit group.

This is all fascinating. I’ve picked up an introductory book on shamanism, and this initially talks all about the spirit animals.

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineCosmic Eye
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26412930 - 01/02/20 05:07 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Great write up man. I hope to approach this at some level.. at some time..


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Offlineindividualist
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26423202 - 01/08/20 03:49 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

It was strange.  I was not in any way attempting to contact a spirit animal or my grandmother.  However, my last two trips before this I strongly sensed something trying to get in touch with me, but never quite pieced it together.  But I’m firmly convinced my grandmother, or at least her spiritual energy or something, has been trying to reach me.  Somehow, she sent me a spiritual eagle...

This sounds bizarre I know.  Of course it is most likely that some part of my own subconscious simply chose to manifest itself to me as my grandmother in eagle form


--------------------
Question with boldness


Edited by individualist (01/08/20 03:50 PM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26423216 - 01/08/20 03:57 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I don’t know what it is, or how it could be. But I am convinced we do not cease to exist when we physically die. My first ever psychedelic peak, from ‘white lightning’ LSD tabs, I got the overwhelming feeling that this is what I had been searching for my entire life. It was so familiar. It was so comforting.

I have honestly only been really trying to make contact on my last trip, after loads of great advice on here. So I am not despondent. I’ll keep trying. I’ll get better.

But even without trying to make contact, in many mushroom peaks I have felt recognisable energies, some of which I can relate to people I know, both living and passed away.

Mush love,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlineindividualist
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26423235 - 01/08/20 04:06 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Well I strongly recommend the rue+psilo+THC (especially of the sativa variety) approach.

I have a very intense spiritual experience every time.

You’ve really got to go for it on the mushroom part though.  8 grams or more.  Wait for the peak and during the plateau take 2 big rips of strong weed or thc vape.

You’ll feel that “returning home” feeling within a minute of the thc hits and there’s no telling where it’ll take you.  I’ve entered time loops (deja vu in which I strongly felt I was not only remembering a prior experience, but had in fact merged with that same prior coordinate in spacetime), saw a family member as a goddess, and experienced the spirit eagle of my grandmother.


--------------------
Question with boldness


Edited by individualist (01/08/20 04:14 PM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26424811 - 01/09/20 02:18 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

You’re drawing me in friend 👍🏻
So with the rue,  I presume I’d need to do the ayahuasca diet the preceding week? Or am I getting confused with something else?

Cheers,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineSabnock
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26424914 - 01/09/20 03:13 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
You’re drawing me in friend 👍🏻
So with the rue,  I presume I’d need to do the ayahuasca diet the preceding week? Or am I getting confused with something else?

Cheers,
DJ Ed




No, there's no diet necessary when consuming Rue/Caapi/Harmalas or Moclobemide, the diet thing is only for irreversible and non-selective (MAO-A and MAO-B inhibiting) MAOI's. The other Aya diet has more to do with cleaning yourself out so no sex, no red meat, no salt, sugar, or anything like that, but it's definitely not mandatory. Don't even have to fast though it's preferable to not eat anything a few hours before so that things absorb properly plus you wouldn't wanna eat a big meal prior and then have to vomit it all back up if you experience the purgative effects of the Harmalas.


--------------------


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OfflineSynKyd
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26424949 - 01/09/20 03:41 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

individualist said:
Last night I had a trip unlike any other.  Of course that should go without saying, as no trip is like any other but this trip was next level intense and different.

I didn't "break through" per se in the same way that I've broken through before on doses this high, but I most definitely ascended to a higher plane of consciousness than that of my own individual ego.

I ground up 4 grams of Syrian Rue in my coffee grinder into fine powder.  I scooped the powder bit by bit into my mouth and to mask the taste of the Rue I had made a strong Patron margarita with which I washed down each mouthful of Rue powder, aware that the alcohol might compromise the mushrooms but accepting that risk.  It worked because I barely tasted the Syrian Rue.  I then began brewing a tea of 8 grams of wild picked, cracker dry P cubensis.  2 cups of water brought to a boil then removed from heat, pulverized mushrooms mixed into the simmering water and stirred at low heat for 15 minutes and poured through a coffee filter directly into a coffee mug.  I made sure to teabag and squeeze the mushies into the tea several times before drinking.  By the time the tea was ready it had been 30-40 minutes since I'd consumed the rue.  I drank the warm tea over the course of about 20 minutes.

I was feeling effects, a very strong come up with level 2 body load and visuals by the time I even finished the tea.  I immediately huddled up under a very warm fuzzy blanket laying down on my couch in anticipation of the extreme cold I generally suffer on the come up.  This was another good move as I could feel my body trying to be cold, but the cold was successfully countered by the soft warmth of the blanket.

While relaxing on the couch the shrooms gradually kicked in.  Now this was a heroic dose by any measure, and I was tripping really, really hard, with full blown 3D closed eye visuals and neon open eye patterns swirling around the room.  Visually, probably the most intense trip I've ever had and worth the experience for this reason alone.

But here is where it got really interesting.  My thoughts drifted to the topic of my paternal grandmother who passed away many years ago.  It's worth noting that I bear a striking resemblance to her in facial structure (though I am a male).  She was a socialite of the southern upper class in her heyday and a true beauty in her youth, she aged with grace and passed away with dignity after a bout with Alzheimer's.  In a sober state and without bias I can truly say she was the definition of a classy lady.  I could not separate my thought patterns from dwelling on her, yet what is strange is that the visions I was having of her were not of my memories of her as an old lady, but of her in her youth...decades before I was born, raising my father and his brothers (my uncles).

Another note about my grandmother...she was a dainty and delicate lady but with a fiery passion inside--a very lightweight bone structure, like a bird's, and a voice that was...uniquely high pitched, again like a bird's.  This is relevant because in this trip I envisioned her wrists and hands as an eagle's talons.  Now a note about her husband, my grandfather.  He was a career fighter pilot in the Navy and Air Force.  His son, my father, was also a career aviator in the Air Force, and I myself have a significant background in aviation with about 1,000 flight hours under my belt.

I'm only giving all these details because I think they are relevant to the spiritual experience I had on this trip.  Now look.  I'm a white guy, and an unapologetic one at that.  I've never really believed in indigenous spiritual traditions until last night.  But I felt a connection to both of my grandparents that was real, and the vehicle of that connection was via the animal spirit of the eagle...that they had not, in fact, perished; that they lived, in me, and in our family's spirit animal, which is the eagle.

I kept having visions of my grandparents, but especially of my grandmother, elegantly soaring the skies as an eagle, not once or twice or three times, but continuously over the course of a 6 hour mushroom trip.  When I wasn't envisioning her as an eagle, I was envisioning her in human form wearing a hat with an eagle's feather in it, or with a lapel pin bearing the emblem of the eagle in one form or another.  I envisioned my grandfather soaring the skies in his fighter jets, raising my father who would follow in his footsteps as an aviator, who in turn raised me.  As a woman of the eagle spirit she was drawn to him because our family is drawn to the sky.  We seek careers in the sky, we climb mountains, we travel every chance we get, we are all "small boned" lightweight people.  Every thought, every recollection, every vision I had last night reinforced the notion that I carry within me the spirit of the eagle, which was given to me from my grandmother and grandfather.

When the mushroom trip had plateaued about 2 hours in I took a fat hit of THC vape which pushed me even higher.  I was no longer merely *feeling* the spirit of the eagle and of my grandparents...I had merged with those spirits and become one with them.  I was experiencing their lives as they experienced them in the mid 20th century, long before I even existed.  Not in the specific details of day to day events of their lives, but in the summative emotional experience of their lives.  Many of my other visions during this trip were of iconography of mid 20th century America, further solidifying my belief that whatever mushrooms do, they do something extremely weird to our flawed notions of linear time.  I felt them, there is a real sense in which I *was* them, and dammit I can't explain it but I/we were not exactly eagles per se, but we were humans who carried the essence of the eagle within us.

It was an incredibly cathartic experience.  I can't explain the mechanism, but our souls had transcended their deaths and connected into one.  Even now after everything has worn off I feel more connected to my grandparents than I have ever felt before, and in retrospect I feel quite strongly that this spiritual phone call has been trying to get through to me for my last two or three mushroom trips, but I didn't quite get deep enough into the mushroom head space (i.e., I didn't have enough bars for a good connection) for it to happen.

It's only been a day, and I know trip integration takes a while, but I'm coming out of this trip with a really strong conviction that spirit animals are a real thing and that they run in families, and that mine is the eagle.  Can't wait to do some more reading on the topic and open to suggestions if anyone has had a similar encounter.




Awesome write up, thanks for sharing! :cheers:


--------------------

New inclusive poop emojis from Apple!

:shpongle::shpongle::shpongle::shpongle::shpongle:



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: Sabnock]
    #26424984 - 01/09/20 04:07 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sabnock said:
No, there's no diet necessary when consuming Rue/Caapi/Harmalas or Moclobemide, the diet thing is only for irreversible and non-selective (MAO-A and MAO-B inhibiting) MAOI's. The other Aya diet has more to do with cleaning yourself out so no sex, no red meat, no salt, sugar, or anything like that, but it's definitely not mandatory. Don't even have to fast though it's preferable to not eat anything a few hours before so that things absorb properly plus you wouldn't wanna eat a big meal prior and then have to vomit it all back up if you experience the purgative effects of the Harmalas.




Thank you. I think maybe I was getting confused with SSRIs! Thank you for explaining.

Mush love,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlineindividualist
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26433716 - 01/14/20 06:21 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Bros, I’m rereading this trip report and I can’t fucking believe t was only two weeks ago.  I’ve had so much life changing integration from this trip that I feel like it was a year or more ago. 

The fact that this happened only two weeks ago, in light of the amount that I’ve let it shape who I am now, is blowing my mind as much as the trip itself.  Two weeks...less than 336 hours ago I was at the peak of this trip?  It might as well be 336 lifetimes ago that I was having this trip.

What am amazing testament to the awesome power of psilocybin.

I’m humbled


--------------------
Question with boldness


Edited by individualist (01/14/20 06:41 PM)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26434574 - 01/15/20 09:29 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I’m always humbled, individualist,,except when I’ve messed something up and I don’t trip!
No seriously, I take something from every trip, even if that’s,just the after glow, the calming effect that lets things just go over your head for a while.

I reckon you’ve seen the light 👍🏻

Mush love,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlineboom999
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26435542 - 01/15/20 07:33 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:


I ground up 4 grams of Syrian Rue





is this the plant, root, seeds?  Could you explain a little more about this?  Where to find, etc.?

Thanks in advance,
Boom


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OfflinePandemoon
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: boom999]
    #26435968 - 01/16/20 01:57 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

It's syrian rue seeds. Tey are legal to buy, just order via internet.
They are cheap, too, like 250g for 15 bucks.

Three grams is all you need to potentiate mushrooms x2 and make them last up to 10 hours.

Just take the well ground up rue seeds in gel-capsuls like 30 to 40min before eating the shrooms.

It's a MAO-inhibitor (a RIMA to be more precise), so don't combine with other drugs (speed/mdma etc.) or medications like SSRIs or antipsychotics. This might be fatal!

See psilohuasca.

-


Edited by Pandemoon (01/16/20 03:22 AM)


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OfflineHolyBolete
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: individualist]
    #26435987 - 01/16/20 02:22 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

My spirit animal was said to be a beaver by a shaman I met. Those high dose trips are epiphany generators and sometimes have gotten lost in some horrid traumatic things in high doses. Sounds like you had a great experience!

:alphabrain:

What did you specifically mean by this? What does it look like to have full connection to mushroom headspace in your view?:

Quote:

individualist said:
but I didn't quite get deep enough into the mushroom head space (i.e., I didn't have enough bars for a good connection) for it to happen.




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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: Pandemoon]
    #26436513 - 01/16/20 10:12 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Pandemoon said:
It's syrian rue seeds. Tey are legal to buy, just order via internet.
They are cheap, too, like 250g for 15 bucks.

Three grams is all you need to potentiate mushrooms x2 and make them last up to 10 hours.

Just take the well ground up rue seeds in gel-capsuls like 30 to 40min before eating the shrooms.

It's a MAO-inhibitor (a RIMA to be more precise), so don't combine with other drugs (speed/mdma etc.) or medications like SSRIs or antipsychotics. This might be fatal!

See psilohuasca.

-



I m going to have to check this out and see how much further I can go in 10 hours as opposed to 4-6 hours. But dammit, they’re almost £40 for 250g in the UK! Might order 10g just to try them out first....

Thanks for the info.


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineSabnock
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26436721 - 01/16/20 12:12 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Have you looked on ebay or some ethnobotanical sites? Rue is pretty cheap, i mean idk the prices outside of the US but here in the US it's dirt cheap, heck i can 2 kilos of seed from Iran for 70 bucks or so last i checked. But yeah, shop around a bit, see if you can find some good deals.


--------------------


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OfflinePandemoon
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Re: 4g rue+8 grams p cubensis+THC; merger with deceased ancestors and family spirit animal [Re: Sabnock]
    #26436817 - 01/16/20 01:05 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

There are shroomery sponsor vendors based in the netherlands that sell kilos for 40 euros.. But not all of them ship to the UK, though.

I'm sure you find a better source. Nontheless, testing a few doses before ordering bulk is always a good idea.

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