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OfflineIntoTheMaelstrom
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Registered: 01/06/20
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Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) * 1
    #26418957 - 01/06/20 08:50 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Hey, 35 yo bipolar type 2 female here. I just want to tell anyone who’s interested about my (only) experience with shrooms:

Basically, I was having an “angry day” and was losing it so much last Friday that I decided to try mushrooms for the first time, home alone (yes, super clever, I know...).

It did nothing straight away (~3g) - no laughing, no sensorial distortions, nothing. Yada yada, I watched some TV, took a nap and, some 8h later, I woke up feeling... strange.

First of all, I’m always anxious, come xanax, come whatever benzo, bupropion, whatever - I’m always anxious - accelerated heartbeat, tremors, vertigo, jaw clenched hard, chest pain, heat flushes, you name it. But, when I woke up that evening, I wasn’t anxious, which was super weird because I’m not used to the feeling of not feeling something between anxiety and a full-blown panic attack.

Then, it was like personal stuff that were happening at the moment, and the stuff that lead to it just came to the forefront of my mind, but taking a totally different shape, I don’t even know how to explain, it’s like fuzzy blobs suddenly became ultra HD angular shapes, soooooo clear, so self-imposing, and so harsh in all its clarity that I didn’t stop crying until the following day, feeling totally overwhelmed by this new sharp, unequivocal view I had of what was around and inside me.

I was crying but I noticed I still wasn’t anxious in the slightest. Extremely sad but not anxious. Then I stopped crying, and am yet to experience any anxiety since then, despite not being in any anxiolytics right now.

It’s been a couple of days since I tried the thing and I’m totally gobsmacked - 0 “high” so I totally told myself “this doesn’t do anything”, and all the literature talking about clinical trials using psilocybin on psychiatric patients seemed too anecdotical to be taken serious, and yet, what those trials describe seems to be precisely what I got - “clear thinking”, “decreased levels of anxiety” - like WOW!!!

And that’s all.
Cheers.


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“I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learnt how to swim” (Frida Khalo, 1907-1954)


Edited by IntoTheMaelstrom (01/06/20 08:54 AM)


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InvisiblefeeversM
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Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: IntoTheMaelstrom]
    #26418971 - 01/06/20 09:03 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds awesome :cool:

I'd take this time to meditate on how you're feeling, take it all in and understand that your bipolar and anxiety symptoms don't define you and aren't the only state of being. There's another way of existing, and the world is a whole lot bigger when you have that clear headed perspective that's not tainted by anxiety.

Hopefully this feeling lasts for you, but it also could be an afterglow that won't last forever. Some people seem to benefit a lot from microdosing multiple times weekly or even daily, sounds like you could check that out if your symptoms start coming back.

For me mushrooms have always given me a taste of what life could be like if I was able to master my thinking-mind and calm it, weed the garden and water the flowers so to speak. The cognitive distortions and negative thought patterns eventually come back, but if I put in the work I'm better able to recognize them and simply let them go. Makes for a far more pleasant life. I see the mushrooms more as teachers than as a cure.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: IntoTheMaelstrom]
    #26419036 - 01/06/20 10:04 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Congrats! I'm glad your first time gave you some benefits to work with!

I find that when I micro-dose, daily situations that would normally give me anxiety don't. My heart rate doesn't go up every time a curveball gets thrown my way or a challenging situation arises. That is a monumental benefit for me. It doesn't make me "super" focused or anything like that but that taming of anxiety makes it unbelievably easier to work, to live, and not get bogged down in pointless worrying.

With larger doses I get this entire change in mindset that I then need to integrate and work with for a long while after. It's amazing because I can understand my self, my problems, and the world in a much more objective way after a bigger dose.

Both are incredibly beneficial to me, as to many others on this site, and I welcome you to the experience! I hope, if you choose it, that you have a wonderful future working with this substance.

P.S. Alot of people say that anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications etc make the actives in mushrooms less effective until one has abstained for some time. That may be why you didn't get the "full" psychedelic effects. But, honestly, at the end of the day the important thing is to get something useful out of the experience and I believe you definitely did. Mush Love :cheers:


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OfflineIntoTheMaelstrom
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Registered: 01/06/20
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: feevers]
    #26419628 - 01/06/20 04:44 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Oh yes, I had another teaspoon of it today just in case :laugh: and I have some pf tek inoculating, 2nd flush of my grow kit in full swing, a new grow kit coming, and also more syringes :laugh:  let’s see what happens!


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OfflineIntoTheMaelstrom
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26419643 - 01/06/20 04:50 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Some guy I know whom I first learnt about mushrooms from told me precisely that, that anxiolytics and antidepressants can kill the “tripping” effects of the psilocybin... and probably that’s what’s happened, yes... so I guess next time I’ll have to increase the dose just to see if something “magical” happens, otherwise I guess the lower levels of anxiety still make it worthwhile, even without the psychedelic side... :wink:


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InvisibleAntigov
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Registered: 03/17/19
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: IntoTheMaelstrom]
    #26419693 - 01/06/20 05:19 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

That’s great to hear. I suffer from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD OCD, etc and I get so much relief from psilocybin mushrooms. Usually I have several good days after a major trip, but after several days, the symptoms do return. I had some depression over the holidays and I have gone back to micro dosing. Most people measure their dose, but usually I eat a pin or a very small mushroom once or twice a day. I will do that till the symptoms get better.


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OfflineIntoTheMaelstrom
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Registered: 01/06/20
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Re: Shrooms for the 1st time - goodbye xanax (maybe?) [Re: Antigov]
    #26419728 - 01/06/20 05:39 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Yes, I think I might start doing that too, a little bit every day or every 2nd day and see how it goes... But I do measure how much I take... using a teaspoon xD (not the measuring thingy, I mean an actual random teaspoon!)


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