I've been experimenting with shrooms for the past year. It's all been light usage. On the scale it would be level 1 stuff. Every dose less than a gram. If I'm doing multiple shrooms I usually do not take them all at once but rather take them portions at a time: a stem, a few minutes later half a cap, then the other half and so on.
It's lead to some really cool highs, feelings of well being and good interactions with others and music takes on a whole new aspect, colors are more intense with slight hallucinatory effects on the edge of perception, corner of the eye stuff that you double take and things are normal.
At most I've taken 4 shrooms in one sitting over the course of a couple of hours, small to medium in size. I can't tell you how much they weighed.
Last night was a profound experience. I took 5 mushrooms, same methodology, same sized mushrooms. Everything was going as expected. I'd even decided to head up to my favorite bar since none of my friends were available. I had noticed I began itching in spots all over. I took a shower to relieve the itching and to clean up for the bar.
The water felt great. Sudsing up felt great. Everything felt great. Then I started getting giggly, talking to myself. If I closed my eyes for any length of time I began seeing visuals, starbursts of whites, rainbows, undulating. It seemed fair away as if in the distance. I was still in control, more or less. I began noticing my hands, legs, feet looked different, stubbier. The tiled walls began breathing. I started laughing at the realization that I was hallucinating, but everything looked more or less normal, just distorted/distorting.
Every time I shut my eyes the hallucinations could be seen and they were becoming seemingly closer, bigger, approaching closer every time I closed my eyes, more movement, more colors, more organized and geometric in shape. Each time I saw them they seemed to be pulling me into another reality. I resisted, decided I would try to think of something else and then a girl at work entered my thoughts out of no where. This girl is in her 20's, I'm in middle age and she professed to having a crush on me. And she considers herself non-binary, but biologically is a very real and attractive female and she's still very feminine and likes guys and I've been kind of stand offish, but still friends with her going out occasionally. The profundity of her existence hit me like a sake of cement throwing me into an uncontrolled fit of sobbing. I was leveled by her honesty about her desires, wants and sexuality and it humbled me because admittedly I could never be that open and expressive on my own.
And then that tidal wave of the trip passed, I stopped sobbing and I was able to get hold of myself enough to get out of the shower which had long run out of hot water. Drying off was real effort as I was still reeling from the power of the experience. I almost began feeling normal.The closed eye visuals subsided.
I went to my bedroom still feeling slightly clumsy in my movements. With every blink I could see the remnants of visuals and then within a few minutes they began increasing in intensity again. The next wave was approaching and I had the strongest urge to write my experiences to this girl from work. The visuals becoming stronger dragged me into the throws of laughing and crying, back and forth. If you've seen the Joker it was kind of like that. It was uncontrolled. I was completely helpless. It was all I could do to find some music I cared to listen to before I was in the uncontrollable throws of listless tripping. The Cure - Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me on repeat.
Back and forth I went, eyes closed, lost in visual hallucinations, writing words of what I was feeling, my thoughts and my experiences. The words flooded out both becoming the impetus for and the result of my uncontrollable laughing/crying.
This girl became the center of my universe. The universe was her. She was the universe. She was a nexus, a God, my salvation, my savior and I couldn't stop thinking about her. How she excites me and frightens me. How I would, for this night, give up everything to live in her world, to lay prostrate at her alter. I stood on the shores of the universe/her like a child seeking salvation from her. I begged her to save me.
For 4 hours I tripped, completely taken. The visuals surpassed the closed eye becoming infused with reality on the walls, ceilings, floor, TV, everywhere. There were points I wondered if I was losing my mind, if the trip would end. If it wasn't for the struggle to find the words, to write them legibly I don't think I would have maintained my grip. I was exhausted laying on my bed hoping for the end.
The waves became shorter and less intense. For another hour the waves lapped ever more gently against my mind until I knew it was over. It still took me another hour to come down enough to be able to get some sleep.
Now that it's the day after I feel like I have a cold or flu. I'm feverish with a slight cough & headache, but otherwise I feel tired but normal or as normal as one can be after such an experience. Please tell me this is not uncommon. I'm not too worried. It's from a batch of shrooms I've been taking in smaller dosages since October. They're kept brittle dry. Just a little concerned though.
-------------------- Desperately in need of some stranger's hand in a desperate land.
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