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InvisibleHartford
Lawful Good
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Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 1,122
Loc: Tennessee
Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: pineninja]
    #26394813 - 12/21/19 11:41 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

pineninja said:
Quote:

Hartford said:
Quote:

pineninja said:
His findings are for him.

Do not walk into a church and do exactly what they are trying to do to you.




His findings should be presented to all contributing parties so they can see the results and revise or reinforce accordingly. Hiding the results is not very scientific, imo.




The church ain't a place to get all scientific.




Yes, it is. When I came back I made meaningful connections with my past that gave me the context to move  forward and it's the only way. One mustn't run from the truth.

A failed experiment is a success too,  you know, and presenting the findings is the way to integrate fully


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OfflinemndfreezeMDiscordReddit
Shroomery Secret Service
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay] * 1
    #26395497 - 12/22/19 11:53 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

shhitsokay said:
Quote:

Raven44 said:
Perhaps your own thoughts are whats inducing your panic attacks? Are you mindful of your own thoughts?

Xanax is used to bring someone down that is tripping to hard. Just a thought




I am always in my head 24/7. No disrespect, but I am not a fan of using Xanax.  I have substance abuse issues that I am a month into going cold turkey on (even cigs), so I would like to avoid any substances.  It's like a band-aid on a boat to me. If there is abuse potential... I will abuse.





Definitely keep working with your therapist/medical doctors.  PTSD is oft overlooked here in psychedelic communities and we have a lot of self proclaimed experts that can lead to bad advice.  It's good you recognize you have abuse issues with other drugs and are actively avoiding them. 

The PTSD like effects some people have after psychedelics are not specific to psychedelics and most of the (safe) options out there for people going through it will work.  Meditation, eating healthy, exercise, etc, etc etc.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]


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OfflineBuckomcdoogle
Atypical obsessive.
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Registered: 11/27/19
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay] * 1
    #26396659 - 12/23/19 01:40 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Lay off the herb for a while

I always mention to people who are eager to dose for the first time.

"It might make you deal with things you aren't ready to deal with yet"

In my personal experience, anxiety can be a very vicious cycle.

Its very unlikely if not impossible you seriously damaged your brain from a couple grams of fungus.

Psilocybin, In the scientific community, is widely known as one of the least toxic drugs known to man, It is certainly NOT neurotoxic

Is some of this anxiety stemming from existential dread I wonder?

The more at peace you become with yourself, and the world around you, the more enjoyable psyches become..:mushroom2:

Fungus and other psyches tend to magnify however you are feeling when you take them.

Fungus is NOT like opioids, cannabis or alcohol.
It doesn't like to be used as an escape............:mushroom2:

The same thing happened to me <3
You are OK


--------------------
"Nothing is more dangerous to your creativity than comfort and familiarity"

"Nihilism is the most basic truth in existence,
the only consistency throughout the world, and the universe is
chaos and decay"
"Logic leads to nihilism"



Edited by Buckomcdoogle (12/23/19 01:42 AM)


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OfflineJohnRainy
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Registered: 07/09/19
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Last seen: 4 years, 15 days
Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay]
    #26399324 - 12/24/19 03:32 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Psilocybin has brought you to a point of mental evolution that you are not quite ready for.  Kind of analogous to being born prematurely.

These anxieties you are experiencing are all being produced by your own mind.  I bet they were always there to some degree, maybe occasionally as intense as it is all the time for you now, usually they were under the surface.  Now you can't ignore it.

This is something we all are going to face if we are not facing it already.  You've got to learn to stop reacting to your thoughts.  You've got to come to see that thoughts are not you.  You've got to stop identifying with them.

As Tolle says, they are just stories that you tell yourself.

Your anxieties rise up and dominate your immediate experience.  You've got to learn to just observe it without reacting to it, not fighting it, just observing it.  Telling yourself 'there it is again' when it's there again, but not identifying with it.  It is not you. 


This shit really cuts to the core of what the human experience is really like.  Just look within the dominant myth of western culture, at the forbidden apple.  That might as well have been a story of people freaking out on LSD or something.  They developed neurosis from it.  They immediately went from having a fine time, to being worried about everything and thinking there was something wrong with them.

Anger, fear, frustration, desire for something you do not have, aversion to something you do have, all of it.  I don't care if you have no use for religion or whatever.  My point here is that neurosis is the major theme of human existence at this time in this place.  It is the evolutionary obstacle we are still working on overcoming.  Stepping out of the water surely was a painful one too.

Now we are facing an evolution purely of consciousness. 

Now you are going through it so intensely that you cannot pretend it's not real.

That's why this is actually a gift and will be very good for you in the long run.  Now you know what we're talking about.  Now you can really get focused on solving this problem.  And you will.  That's why this happened. 

Read about Tibetan Buddhism.  Learn yoga.  Practice meditation.  Listen to Ekhart Tolle.  Listen to Ram Dass.  Listen to Alan Watts even.

And please, don't drive yourself nuts worrying about this. 

I like to think this is a view from the other side of this enormous obstacle


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Offlineshhitsokay
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Registered: 11/21/19
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: JohnRainy] * 2
    #26400086 - 12/25/19 06:10 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I’m definitely not fighting it anymore. Doing a lot better y’all. Maybe it’s the holidays who’s knows 🤷‍♂️ !  Even my therapist says I have reached a new depth of emotional connectedness in the work we’ve been doing. Maybe this awful experience, like you all say, wasn’t after all.


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Invisiblepineninja
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay]
    #26400573 - 12/25/19 03:06 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Good for you mate.
Through the fire, changed but never harmed.:elmo:


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


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OfflineJohnRainy
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Registered: 07/09/19
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay]
    #26401119 - 12/26/19 02:10 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I had a buddy who freaked out on acid real good when we were 19 years old.  He recovered fairly quickly and the whole thing just made him focus and do what he really wanted to do with his life.  He went on to great things including money to go along with it.


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Offlinemicroshark
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Registered: 12/29/19
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: JohnRainy]
    #26406274 - 12/29/19 12:18 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Your report sounds like what happened to me a very very very long time ago.  I was a fairly naive kid, hanging with 'experienced' people, and I took a hit with them one night. 

I wasn't prepared for the ride, and like you, when I felt the anxiety/panic starting to increase, I fought it instead of just letting it roll.  It was bad... like punching holes in walls, and agreeing to be tied up bad... all while yelling that I was the Lord or whatever.  I can lol at it now, but not at the time, nor for a very long time afterwards.

Afterwards is where it really got bad though, in the 'uh oh i think I changed myself permanently for the worse' sense.  The weeks following were obviously intense and scary, but what was really bad was the long term effects... months to years of feeling off, and afraid I might lose it at any time.  Basically never being able to feel calm/still/peaceful.  The sharp panic/anxiety feeling was always lurking beneath the surface, and it could snowball quickly.  Sleeping/dreaming was especially rough, and I can remember having issues for years at night. 

I used to be nervous about going to bed, and that's a horrible feeling... you should look forward to rest/sleep, not anxious/nervous.  I couldn't believe I had taken everything 'normal' for granted, and was afraid I would never get back to the way things used to be.

I say all that not to scare you, but to say this: eventually everything went back to normal.  For long periods of time, I thought I would never be able to forget that it happened, as I was thinking about it extremely frequently everyday... eventually, though, it became something I never think about, unless recalling it for a story or something... like I might a particular birthday party as a kid or whatever.  As the months and years ticked by, and as I went through intense personal relationship situations, I never 'lost' it... and eventually I guess my brain subconsciously got to the point where it said 'ok if i can go through all of those horrible events, and not 'lose' it, then maybe I'm never going to 'lose' it, and I'm stressing over nothing'.

There's no doubt in my mind that you will get back to 'normal'... it's just a matter of time.  Hopefully it will happen sooner for you, than for me.  Had someone told me what myself and others are saying here, it might have gotten me over it sooner.

It's been so long now, that I can't remember for sure, but I think I eventually got to the point where I wouldn't fight the building anxiety... I would just let it come... and then when I realized nothing really happened except that I felt tingly, it might have helped me deal with the "fear of the unknown" (IOW, what will happen if I don't fight it).

You mentioned something about finding a positive in it, as it helped you work on relationships... and that's a great way to view it.  My experience turned me off to experimenting further, and even when I was heavily struggling to deal with the after-effects, I always told myself that had it not happened, I would have most certainly dove into hard drugs with the crowd I was with, and that could have 'really' messed up my life.

I'm so 'over' it now, that I'm doing something I never dreamed I would do... which is think about using psychedelics again.  I've suffered from severe treatment resistant depression for most of my life, and I've been researching microdosing lsd/mdma/psilo recently, and have been blown away by the results I've been reading about.  I'm about to make an order of psilo spores, in hopes that microdosing will give me some relief.

Now, will I ever do a big boy dose and try to talk to elves?  That I dont know, lol... doubtful that I would ever go that far, however, if I ever did, I would be much more prepared than I was 25 years ago.

For many years I would never talk about this experience, and I still rarely do... this might be the most I've ever written about it. I dont really have a solution for you, or know the best thing to say to you... so I'm just sharing my experience, in the hopes that it can ease your anxiety about thinking that you messed yourself up, and will never be back to normal.  You will be.


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: microshark]
    #26406292 - 12/29/19 12:39 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

You might have depersonalization disorder. It happens when you have a extreme panic attack. It happens to rape victims, people that see murder and death and people that have a horrible trip. Basically your mind left this reality because it couldn't take any more stress and pain. I got it 3 or 4 years ago and it took around 2 years to completely come back. Whatever you do don't isolate yourself from the world because it makes it worse! You have to go out in the world and communicate with people. The key is to pretend like you don't have it and 2 stay extremely busy! If you stay busy your mind will slowly come back to reality. If everything feels like a movie and you're outside your body its depersonalization disorder. Never take these substances when you're depressed or going through hard times!!!


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: Shenmue]
    #26406302 - 12/29/19 12:44 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I personally think freebase dmt is a better way to have a high dose experience. With dmt it only lasts 10min so even if it's bad you'll snap out of it. Ayahuasca and mushrooms take hours and there's no way to leave that place. Whenever I decided to take a high dose again I'll definitely have xanax in my pocket!!!!!


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Invisiblenooneman
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Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,593
Loc: Utah
Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay]
    #26406475 - 12/29/19 02:39 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Sometimes if you come out wrong the only way to fix it is to go back in. Strange but true.


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OfflineSFS96
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: nooneman]
    #26407498 - 12/30/19 09:17 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

:whathesaid:


--------------------
How I make and preserve tea


Consuming consumes a man That was never a purpose of life To only crave for material joys Is believing the lie - Mellow Mood


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OfflineJoemantos
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Re: A shroom trip fucked me up and I can't understand what to do from here [Re: shhitsokay]
    #26411202 - 01/01/20 04:29 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I had a similar experience this summer but it was not caused by mushrooms.

I had a traumatic event in my life and it threw me into a whirlwind. I started having panic attacks and huge existential dread, dp/dr, feeling lost, crazy. Everything related to this event was causing my anxiety to rise. I.e. Being in my appartment (where most of the ''trauma'' happened) was anxiogenic to the point I started visiting my mom and dad very often, staying there late and only going at my appartment to sleep.

Eventually, upon searching and searching on the internet for answers, I finally understood that I needed to stop fighting, even stop searching for an answer. I started gradually exposing myself to my ''triggers'', i.e. going at my appartment and sitting with the anxiety. Forcing myself to stay there even if it was hard. Doing so, the anxiety subsided and my ''subconscious'' realized there was nothing more to fear. I finally felt sane again. It is because I learned to let go and focus my attention on some beneficial tasks (homeworks).

Things that could help you:

-CBT (May I suggest a book? ''You are not your brain'' by Dr Jeffrey Schwartz and Rebecca Gladding; It's a book about learning to see the deceptives brain messages for what they are and refocussing your attention away from them without trying to ''solve'' anything. Accepting things and letting go. Very therapeutic.)
-Breathing exercises (deep breathing with the belly, look it up)
-Stop cafein
-Try to get 8 hours of sleep, go to bed at the same time every night.
-Eat a proper breakfast, eat well throughout the day, drink water. Drink a big glass of water upon waking up.

Only the CBT is the real ''remedy'', the rest is to provide you with a stable life frame, which is really important with this kind of problem.


How I see your situation :

You panicked during the trip, the trip was a traumatic event. You are not in psychosis or w/e. Your brain has simply gone into a spiral out of control and the more you try to ''solve'' this, the more it will increase. Your brain has learn that there's something to be afraid of, while this ''thing'' is not really dangerous. You need to let go. The dp/dr is simply caused by the panic attacks and anxiety, it's not a psychosis.

edit: forgot to mention : exercise! It's really important. And I'm not a native english speaker so forgive me.


Edited by Joemantos (01/01/20 04:34 PM)


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