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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Pinkerton]
#26419322 - 01/06/20 01:28 PM (4 years, 23 days ago) |
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In "Games People Play" 'small talk" was unfavorably compared to intimacy. And the late 1960s into the 1970s, with the "human Potential" movement glorified intimacy and self disclosure.
In tribal society of course everyone already knows everyone else, all the time. And There is no sitting at the bus stop with strangers, or in waiting rooms, airports, train stations, in lines at every store....with hundreds of people you will never see again.
Different place, different custom. No big deal.
Many people actually still do choose to live in smaller communities.
Different place, different custom. No big deal.
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: r00tcmplx]
#26420266 - 01/07/20 01:24 AM (4 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
r00tcmplx said:
Quote:
Loaded Shaman said: Granted you're only on here once a day for a period - I feel like your posts are exceptionally thorough and well said, and only the people on Shroomery read them. Pearls before swine, so to speak to a degree. I have several books published under my real name that I'll never, ever share here unfortunately. I took that advice from someone years back (just write books you're good at writing stop spending time with people online exclusively chatting about deep topics- more need to read this shit), and it changed my life.
It's not the end result of a book; it's the medium of reaching more people than exclusively come here, IF that's your thing. I think you have that potential. You might feel Shroomery is fine, which is fine! .
Ah', I type really fast.. 82-85 WPM. When I go to do one of my posts, I sometimes already have the thought completed and it just flows off my fingers. Thank you for elaborating on your point. It is a good point. One I thought of taking up but have seen too many serious truth seekers/declarers of truth crucified for doing so. I am not a fan of censorship to any degree and the things I say often would or to the degree I say them would have to be if I went more mainstream. Then there's the 'correctness' of how I structure them, etc etc. Too much effort vs just letting my thoughts flow off my fingers from time to time AND getting feedback from it .. The feedback is the crucial part. I learn and grow from it no matter if its good or bad.. crappy or a pearl... Because I am always listening and trying to understand. I had to think on this into this new year because I largely have gathered pearls over the years and its getting repetitive the feedback. In that though, I had to reflect on what my real work was and how to stay 'in that' always. Once I recaptured this, I was able to go back and participate in lessor capacities in some of the social online communities I am a part of. I definitely slimmed them into the new year. Deleted/closed out accounts and blocked them in my hosts files... the whole nine yards. But there were some, to me that were still cool.
As for reaching the wider world, that ultimately is a goal of mine and is related to what I am working on. Reflecting on that, that will be enough. My honest opinion is that man, given their free-will, won't change. Technology though can change that and usher in progress. So, I focus there. I think there is enough information and books to wrap around the world. Most are just not reading them/not understanding them/not implementing them. Technology can though and will.
So, progress will occur. That make sense? I too recognize your efforts and do agree that authoring formal material to wider audiences achieves a similar goal. Mine just involves spicy code.. And in order to not become a tech prune, one must mix it up. Gotta bounce my wild ideation off people.. See if I'm on target.

Mega-fast typer here as well. Makes total sense to me!
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  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26437903 - 01/17/20 06:31 AM (4 years, 12 days ago) |
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what if you are not being attacked? what if no harm can come from the social situation? what if you just relax a bit and look around?
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BrendanFlock
Stranger


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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: redgreenvines]
#26439451 - 01/18/20 12:26 AM (4 years, 11 days ago) |
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I know it litterally took Armageddon to cure my social anxiety..
To be honest.. the world is allot more fun when your outgoing.
There is just that many less barriers to a good time..
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: BrendanFlock]
#26439984 - 01/18/20 10:31 AM (4 years, 11 days ago) |
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Confronting fear is never easy.
But if not confronted, it seems, it usually doesn't go away on its own.
Hence a famous quote:
“A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.”
― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
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Hartford
Lawful Good



Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 1,106
Loc: Tennessee
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26440869 - 01/18/20 09:45 PM (4 years, 11 days ago) |
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Does anyone have any experience judging whether psilocybin mushrooms disrupt one's ability to learn the art of conversation (because it makes them quite dull), or does psilocybin facilitate the learning of the art of conversation? Does using psilocybin lead to better social skills or worse social skills or no change at all?
I'm leaning towards worse. What is you guy's observation?
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26440983 - 01/18/20 11:43 PM (4 years, 10 days ago) |
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Quote:
oliverblackk said:
So I personally, suffer from social anxiety I incredibly awkward I cannot flow a conversation. I usually find myself stuttering and feeling very uncomfortable.
Do you notice thoughts about the situation while you feel uncomfortable? Does this occur with everyone you interact with or only certain people?
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26441077 - 01/19/20 02:09 AM (4 years, 10 days ago) |
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OP, when was your last trip, of any chemical variety? Serious question!
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  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Hartford]
#26443006 - 01/20/20 11:22 AM (4 years, 9 days ago) |
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Quote:
Hartford said: Does anyone have any experience judging whether psilocybin mushrooms disrupt one's ability to learn the art of conversation (because it makes them quite dull), or does psilocybin facilitate the learning of the art of conversation? Does using psilocybin lead to better social skills or worse social skills or no change at all?
I'm leaning towards worse. What is you guy's observation?
There are drugs that often promote conversation. The quality of the conversation is another matter! Whether anyone would recommend them is also another matter! 3 in the order of how well known they are: Alcohol Cocaine Kava kava
http://kavaforums.com/forum/threads/small-talk-socializing.16391/ Seems an interesting thread. Especially the comment by 'fait'.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=kava+kava%2C+conversation&t=h_&ia=web
And of course, heroin (& other opiates etc.) may make one indifferent, after all, with zero anxiety, who cares, one way or the other? At that point its all the same.
also for the sake a little more completeness, possibly Ecstasy (MDMA ,3,4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine), which maybe dangerous. https://www.drugs.com/illicit/ecstasy.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MDMA
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Mr. D Green
Stranger



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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: laughingdog] 2
#26444697 - 01/21/20 11:34 AM (4 years, 8 days ago) |
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Trying to be something your not...the source of all social anxiety..prove me wrong.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 39 minutes, 31 seconds
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Loaded Shaman]
#26444967 - 01/21/20 06:56 PM (4 years, 8 days ago) |
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Quote:
Loaded Shaman said:
OP, when was your last trip, of any chemical variety? Serious question!
My psychedelic period was '85 - '95. My last few trips were at Dead shows, just before Jerry passed. So very grateful for those experiences. My primary growing years were 2000-2010. I probably grew 15 pounds of Tasmanian, B+, and Australian. Last year I was feeling low and stuck wallowing in the doldrums and wanted to trip because I knew it would help me snap out of it. My buddy has a big bag I gave him 5 years ago (when I gave away my lab equipment to a friend and taught him to grow) but I never made the 2 hour drive to pick some up.
How about you? Did you eat some fresh caps for breakfast Loaded Shaman?
RJ
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Mr. D Green]
#26445562 - 01/22/20 02:46 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. D Green said: Trying to be something your not...the source of all social anxiety..prove me wrong.
Assuming this is true, Mr. D Green, why does it cause anxiety for some, but not others, in your view?
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Mr. D Green]
#26445836 - 01/22/20 08:40 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. D Green said: Trying to be something your not...the source of all social anxiety..prove me wrong.
Is that even possible? If someone is trying to be anything, that is what they are, no?
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Mr. D Green
Stranger



Registered: 12/14/19
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: laughingdog]
#26446106 - 01/22/20 10:49 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
laughingdog said:
Quote:
Mr. D Green said: Trying to be something your not...the source of all social anxiety..prove me wrong.
Assuming this is true, Mr. D Green, why does it cause anxiety for some, but not others, in your view?
It is human basics..being a human 101. The only people who do not get social anxiety are the ones who are not acting, people pleasing, trying to blend in/fit it; w/e you want to call it. Choking your self...that is anxiety. Understand?
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Kickle
Wanderer


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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Mr. D Green]
#26446112 - 01/22/20 10:52 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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I don't understand. Who are these people you are referring to? Are you one of them? Are you free of anxiety?
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Mr. D Green
Stranger



Registered: 12/14/19
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Kickle]
#26446116 - 01/22/20 10:53 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Quote:
Mr. D Green said: Trying to be something your not...the source of all social anxiety..prove me wrong.
Is that even possible? If someone is trying to be anything, that is what they are, no?
Your self is not anything...it is you. And you just answered your own question, you used the word trying...trying to be anything. If someone is trying to be something, it is obvious that they are not..
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Kickle
Wanderer


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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Mr. D Green]
#26446119 - 01/22/20 10:54 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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I mean what they are is trying... not that they are what they are trying to be 
It's weird for me to imagine someone not trying. Sounds really depressed and the opposite of free from anxiety. They sound imprisoned by anxiety IMO
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Mr. D Green
Stranger



Registered: 12/14/19
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Last seen: 2 years, 28 days
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Kickle]
#26446123 - 01/22/20 10:56 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said: I don't understand. Who are these people you are referring to? Are you one of them? Are you free of anxiety?
What is not to understand. I already said it, anyone who is not trying to be anything; anyone who is simply just being I. There is such a thing as thinking too much...
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Mr. D Green
Stranger



Registered: 12/14/19
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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Kickle]
#26446131 - 01/22/20 10:59 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said: I mean what they are is trying... not that they are what they are trying to be 
It's weird for me to imagine someone not trying. Sounds really depressed and the opposite of free from anxiety. They sound imprisoned by anxiety IMO
I understand, and for I; the word try is depressing...I just do, I do not try. Understand?
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Kickle
Wanderer


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Re: The art of conversation and social anxiety [Re: Mr. D Green]
#26446135 - 01/22/20 11:01 AM (4 years, 7 days ago) |
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nope -- I've heard this kind of regurgitation before and I think it's trying to be mystical without being mystical 
I think radical self acceptance entails accepting that we often want to be other than we are. I also think it entails accepting that self acceptance isn't a one and done type of event. That each of us will experience events, circumstances, trials and tribulations that push us in unique ways. That our emotions will envelope us in different ways over time. And that assuming one is a master is a sure way to fail at putting in the work required for mastery.
As an aside, some of the most anxiety I have felt is in the moments before being true to myself. It's a difficult choice to make in some social circumstances. Anxiety provoking. And while I prefer to be true it isn't always the case. But I don't have social anxiety due to the times I wasn't skilled enough to present a harsh truth without being willing to suffer the consequences of the presentation. I have social anxiety in those moments because of the stakes involved and what those stakes represent for the future of a relationship. Once the choice is made, the anxiety dissipates. The anxiety is informational.
IMO I have fairly healthy anxiety. Meaning anxiety which is based in realistic expectations and outcomes. This has been honed over time by trying multiple approaches when anxiety appears.
Another brief story about anxiety: When I was quite young a buddy of mine lit a hornet nest on fire and we ran as fast as we could. Not quick enough of course and each of us took multiple stings. I took a few right under my eyes and swelled up so that I could not see. This resulted in a strong anxiety response around bees and wasps for a lot of years. It took a shroom trip to really break me out of it. I was tripping balls in the woods with friends, middle of nowhere with no amenities for miles and miles. I was holding a sweet tea drink and wasps came from all over to the drink. It clicked so hard that all they wanted was the drink and not me. That they were not trying to defend anything but rather were exploring. So I stood there with maybe 20 wasps landing and collecting on the drink in my hand. Including wasps landing on my hand and crawling to the drink. Everyone around me scattered but there was a deep understanding at that moment of their behavior. So I just hung out with the wasps and let them drink, really watching the experience calmly. After a time I walked away from our camp and set the drink down so that my buddies panic would not result in an unfavorable outcome. Since then all of the prior overreactions around wasps and bees have dissipated. I am aware enough that I am allergic and will swell if stung, but I also am not afraid in most circumstances. If a hornet is provoked and protecting it's turf, you better believe I'm not going to go stand amidst it! That is my experience with most forms of axiety. It protects us but can get out of whack.
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