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Anonymous #1
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Alcohol
#26403917 - 12/28/19 01:13 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Just uhhh
Setup my plan for after working the nightshift poured 300 ml of jack into a large 3 liter container and poured in diet coke and ice. This was my plan to drink, youtube a bit, then go to sleep. Use the alcohol to get to sleep. My co-worker who just started working and living with me at our shared housing came upstairs at 7 AM and offered to watch a movie. I said yes. Ended up talking nonstop throughout the movie and pouring a second drink.
Now its later on in the day and I woke up on couch. I dont remember anything. My upper left thigh hurts. I was sleeping on my left side and I'm hoping I just passed out and the position made my thigh hurt. But I'm really worried we may have gotten into a fight and he kicked my thigh a few times to keep me away. This has happened in the past with another coworker who had to fend me off by kicking my side.
My coworker had planned to leave at 11. I woke up at 2 pm and hes not here and phone is off so I cant find out if we fought.
Now im sitting here anxious and considering pouring another drink.
God help me. I need help so bad. I cant do this.
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Anonymous #2
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what did you two talk about?
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: what did you two talk about?
We were watching the new star wars and I was saying how this movie is terrible compared to the old movies and telling star wars facts.
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Anonymous #2
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do you remember if they shared the same opinion as yours, or no?
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: do you remember if they shared the same opinion as yours, or no?
I think he was just annoyed that I was talking.
I've lost 2 jobs in the last year from drinking while not on shift. I dont drink at work but i think about it all day and as soon as I get home I drink and pass out. I dont have an off switch but at the same time i cant imagine living my whole life without drinking. i feel trapped like im treading water to delay the inevitable. Im a nice guy. Im nice and do nice things. Im a normal guy. I just have this horrible go-go-go overindulge thing in me.
I have lots of paranoia. Its unfounded paranoia. social anxiety. I talk to people and I dont know how to act appropriately. I think about how life is just working to make money to survive and theres no joy in anything. nothing matters im not important and im not doing anything thats going to make any difference in the world and how cliche i am for thinking all these things. ive started seeing suicide as a clear answer and i understand why people do it. It makes perfect sense. I can tell you i fully understand the feelings that people feel that make them kill themselves. Life is hopeless and there is no purpose or joy or meaning. Im not suicidal but I know WHY people do it. This is just disgusting. Its just torture. Torture for the sake of living to be tortured more
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Anonymous #3
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I rarely drink at all, maybe 1 or 2 glasses of something every few months
My dad is a functional alcoholic, he has a pretty good job because he's very good at what he's doing but on his free time he drinks, and he drinks almost every day.
Usually when spending time with family/friends he gets a bit to drunk and may start fighting people (with loud words i mean) for no reason and sometimes offend people pretty badly. His toxic behaviour affected me a lot while growing up because living with an alcoholic is like riding an adrenaline rollercoaster. You never know what's gonna happen so you stay on guard 24/7
I also have quite a few friends who did really fucked up shit because of alcohol. Lots of dumb fights came out of it
When I was 16-17 I started drinking pretty heavily but i completely stopped because I replaced it with weed and alcohol just didn't seem good in any way. Weed is chill, pass out for an hour , listen to some music Alcohol is rage, doing stupid shit or having a mental breakdown maybe even fight someone
Using alcohol to get to sleep is not a good idea. Alcohol heavily disrupts your sleep, in fact so heavily that if you drink a lot and quit cold turkey you will get hallucinations because of all the deep sleep loss
Edited by Anonymous (12/28/19 05:31 AM)
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Anonymous #4
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Yes, you need help. If you haven't tried AAs I'd call them today.
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
Whether you got into a fight or not, you need help. You cannot control or fight your drinking problem.
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Anonymous #5
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Alcohol is like lighting yourself on fire and trying to put the flames out with gas. You already identified the problems caused by it but almost like a hostage with a gun to your head you’re still drinking. Really look at that, why you continue against your will. Get out of that psychological loop. The consequences are going to keep growing, along with yours and others suffering until you’re finally beaten into submission, die, or step up to the plate and quit.
Spoiler: In hindsight you’ll realize the suffering brought on by cravings is a blessing compared to the suffering brought on by continued drinking. Spoiler #2, if you’re anything like me you’ll read this, agree, and then go pour a drink because you’re too goddamned stubborn to not learn this insight yourself firsthand. I hope you can take a solid physical and psychological beating because you’re gonna throw one on yourself that not a whole lot of people can survive.
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I've lost 2 jobs in the last year from drinking while not on shift. I dont drink at work but i think about it all day and as soon as I get home I drink and pass out. I dont have an off switch but at the same time i cant imagine living my whole life without drinking. i feel trapped like im treading water to delay the inevitable. Im a nice guy. Im nice and do nice things. Im a normal guy. I just have this horrible go-go-go overindulge thing in me.
I have lots of paranoia. Its unfounded paranoia. social anxiety. I talk to people and I dont know how to act appropriately. I think about how life is just working to make money to survive and theres no joy in anything. nothing matters im not important and im not doing anything thats going to make any difference in the world and how cliche i am for thinking all these things. ive started seeing suicide as a clear answer and i understand why people do it. It makes perfect sense. I can tell you i fully understand the feelings that people feel that make them kill themselves. Life is hopeless and there is no purpose or joy or meaning. Im not suicidal but I know WHY people do it. This is just disgusting. Its just torture. Torture for the sake of living to be tortured more
You're ready to destroy your entire life-- to keep drinking.
Get some fucking sense man and put it down-- you KNOW why you feel like shit.
Fucking stop drinking!
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I've lost 2 jobs in the last year from drinking while not on shift. I dont drink at work but i think about it all day and as soon as I get home I drink and pass out. I dont have an off switch but at the same time i cant imagine living my whole life without drinking. i feel trapped like im treading water to delay the inevitable. Im a nice guy. Im nice and do nice things. Im a normal guy. I just have this horrible go-go-go overindulge thing in me.
I have lots of paranoia. Its unfounded paranoia. social anxiety. I talk to people and I dont know how to act appropriately. I think about how life is just working to make money to survive and theres no joy in anything. nothing matters im not important and im not doing anything thats going to make any difference in the world and how cliche i am for thinking all these things. ive started seeing suicide as a clear answer and i understand why people do it. It makes perfect sense. I can tell you i fully understand the feelings that people feel that make them kill themselves. Life is hopeless and there is no purpose or joy or meaning. Im not suicidal but I know WHY people do it. This is just disgusting. Its just torture. Torture for the sake of living to be tortured more
You're ready to destroy your entire life-- to keep drinking.
Get some fucking sense man and put it down-- you KNOW why you feel like shit.
Fucking stop drinking!
Alcohol is fucking poison. Just give it up completely you may want it all the time at first but it goes away. I used to drink to excess. Making a fool out of my self. If I have a drink now it no longer feels pleasant makes me feel like I'm poisoning my self. I can't even get to sleep if I have a drink at like 8pm I'll lie in bed all night tossing and turning. Try to get a more healthy habit like lifting weights or jogging.
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Anonymous #8
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Spoiler: In hindsight you’ll realize the suffering brought on by cravings is a blessing compared to the suffering brought on by continued drinking.
What many fail to realize is craving is an activity we choose to engage in. Notice the OP says they think about drinking all day. This thinking, in combination with the belief drinking has benefits, creates craving. The belief alcohol helps you sleep can be seen as a perceived benefit, even though research shows alcohol disrupts sleep.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Spoiler: In hindsight you’ll realize the suffering brought on by cravings is a blessing compared to the suffering brought on by continued drinking.
What many fail to realize is craving is an activity we choose to engage in. Notice the OP says they think about drinking all day. This thinking, in combination with the belief drinking has benefits, creates craving. The belief alcohol helps you sleep can be seen as a perceived benefit, even though research shows alcohol disrupts sleep.
Dont care what the research says. My racing thoughts turn off when that fifth or 6th serving goes down. And sleep comes quickly if i choose it when drunk.
Quality of sleep may suffer below my conscious mind. But the reality that i do sleep is unquestionable.
I need to quit though. Need to build up a shield against my insecurities and my boredom and my need of alcohol. The alcohol fixes everything.
Literally dont think im going to be able to.
Dont worry about me boys. Im a lost cause.
I'm not a bad person
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Anonymous #8
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If "alcohol fixes everything" why do you feel the need to not drink? Don't fall for the whole "I'm out of control" scam. You predict you will not be able to stop drinking. Wouldn't it be better to be honest and realize you might choose to keep drinking?
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Anonymous #5
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Yeah that’s all well and good until your body regulates to accommodating a steady supply of alcohol being in it and you start getting the same rebound anxiety etc people get from taking benzos for too long. That’s what I mean by the gas and fire comparison, your alcohol is literally the antidote that contains the poison.
What you’re doing is trying to cheat the system in a way and I’ll testify that the system always gets what it’s owed whether now in small amounts or all at once later. I would recommend exercise or some sustainable way of becoming tired. You won’t wake up feeling like shit.
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Anonymous #9
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My good friend has a brother that is drinking himself to death. He now can't even get more than a few bites of food into his body each day. His body is using the last of his muscle and fat for survival. He is still drinking and isn't going to stop until something happens. He still won't admit he has a drinking issue. My buddy is also a very big drinker but is functional. He gets drunk 4-5 times per week, maybe more.
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Anonymous #10
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Quit when your 40 and you'll be fine, if your older then forty, at least try to stop smoking cigarettes
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Anonymous #11
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I drank daily for 10 years. Lost a lot, remember nothing and basically wanted to die. It's not worth it
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Anonymous #12
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Quote:
Anonymous #10 said: Quit when your 40 and you'll be fine, if your older then forty, at least try to stop smoking cigarettes 
do it now, your age doesn't matter. alcohol is so normalized it's difficult to see what a poor drug choice it actually is
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: I drank daily for 10 years. Lost a lot, remember nothing and basically wanted to die. It's not worth it
not to sound cruel, but drinking didnt cause you to lose a lot, irresponsible choices did. be that with booze or not.
Quote:
Anonymous #12 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #10 said: Quit when your 40 and you'll be fine, if your older then forty, at least try to stop smoking cigarettes 
do it now, your age doesn't matter. alcohol is so normalized it's difficult to see what a poor drug choice it actually is
and what is a good drug choice? do tell. dont forget that alcohol is one of the oldest intoxocants, if not the absolute oldest intoxicant known to humans. its been used for thousands of years for religious and social practices. the danger is not with the alcohol itself, but rather with its irresponsible use by humans.
demonizing alcohol isnt going to change anything. learning how to enjoy it is what should be taught.
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Anonymous #12
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
and what is a good drug choice? do tell. dont forget that alcohol is one of the oldest intoxocants, if not the absolute oldest intoxicant known to humans.
shrooms are older and better in every way
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