I'm gonna type this all out fast and post it, don't mind any english errors or whatever cuz im not gonna proofread this long post.
I'm inclined to mention vision changes (afterimages, visual snow, slight movement when looking at something for a while unfocused) but ever since I stopped smoking weed a few days ago out of circumstance the visual effects have actually been subsiding noticeably each day. I don't care enough about it to abstain for weed for weeks/months, so I guess I'll never know if these effects are permanent or induced by THC.
But for the more interesting things: I've always been a very creative person. I draw connections between things that don't seem inherently related. I've also always had a very vivid imagination – I can entertain myself while falling asleep just thinking about myself doing things I want to do. Psychedelics seem to have amplified this. I sometimes get flashes of "random" images or thoughts in my head based on unrelated stimuli. Sometimes I cannot explain the connection, but at other times I actually realize a cool one and it allows me to draw crazy analogies or make solid segues in conversations. I legitimately feel more creative, more able to connect different parts of my brain than I used to. At times it can be annoying – every once in a while an image that flashes in my head is of an unpleasant nature, but just as often it's of something nostalgic or nice. The most annoying thing that has come of this is that after cold-turkeying off weed every single thing in existence seemed to cause weed imagery in my brain which didn't help cravings. But those subsided very fast.
I hear music slightly differently than I used to. You know how when you smoke weed, the low beats become more pronounced? And when you use psychs, the music itself becomes more immersive and surrounding, almost like it's actually applying to your life? I feel a very slight effect of both. As a result, music just sounds that much better. I'm addicted to it and listen to it whenever possible.
Now, in terms of emotions: my whole life I've been prone to anxiety. Nothing severe, just stupid things will give me anxiety for a sec and I notice bc my breathing changes, and I have to spend 30 seconds or whatever explaining to myself why I shouldn't be anxious. This works except for when I actually have good reason to be anxious, which sucks because to me the feeling of anxiety is just a generally shitty feeling that's pretty unexplainable. I always found my proneness to anxiety odd because others would describe me as fearless and don't experience real fear from many things that others do (I rode all the rides as a child, never feared public speaking, never really feared authority). It was something kinda annoying that I couldn't explain. These emotions haven't gone away, but I notice a significant reduction in frequency. I get anxious significantly more rarely than I used to, which feels really good! I'm not sure if this is a result of my life in general improving or what, or maybe growth. When I was young my anxiety was worse and actually very annoying when it struck but as I've aged it has gotten much better. But the pyschs seem to have completely accelerated this "growth" process or whatever. Regardless, I feel better.
Finally, personality: others have told me that I'm simply a nicer person. I was never a mean person, but I've also never had tons of empathy or whatever, ive just been an average person, nice to my friends and people I like, average to those im indifferent abt and mean to those I disliked. People have told me that I seem now like a very caring person, my empathy has gone up and I'm more patient with people. Being nice to everybody has actually made me happier. I enjoy being a very pleasant person in a way that I didn't before pyschs. This could be because my life has improved (I've recently achieved much of what I've wanted for a while, and I think my life is on a very good track while I thought the opposite a few years ago, rightfully so) but even if I can't prove it to be the pychs I feel like they had a big impact.
I'm pretty sure the last two are not from smoking weed because even during weed withdrawal, experiencing irritability, these effects have remained.
Edited by Korean Jesus (12/26/19 04:34 AM)
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Some food for thought in regard to anxiety and whole-body awareness - it's good to remember that your gut is likely equally as responsible for your mental wellbeing as your brain. Nothing like a good breakfast to start the day...
Anyway, it's good to hear you've breached a higher awareness. It truly makes me happy to hear that. I wish you the best along that journey, because it never stops.
A piece of advice - use that awareness to always recognize what you're not aware of. If you come to think you can see everything perfectly clear, you're most likely dreaming.
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